The officer left, and I looked around apprehensively before tossing my coat onto the table and settling down into one of the chairs so that I was facing the door where Emry would soon be walking in through. And within minutes, he did.
Paul removed Emry’s handcuffs as soon as he entered the room. My heart fluttered at how close Emry Logan was as he now stood before me. His head was still lowered. I stood and ran a hand down over the front of my dress to smooth it out and make sure it wasn’t sticking to the pantyhose covering my legs. Paul lingered for a moment.
“I’ll be right outside the door if you need me,” he said in a hushed voice. I nodded, wanting to say thank you, but again, refraining. The door shut behind Paul and Emry looked up then, our eyes meeting. I felt my breath come in gasps as he stared at me with those eyes so blue and beautiful that it was difficult to imagine that I could ever have the willpower to look away.
I suddenly didn’t know what to say. He stood there on the other side of the desk, his face expressionless, his hair in his eyes. I wanted so badly to reach over and wisp the strands back for him, but I settled for extending my hand out for a handshake.
He kept staring at me, ignoring the gesture. “I already have a lawyer,” he said in a tone that seemed borderline angry.
“I figured you did.” I drew my arm back embarrassed. He didn’t recognize me either. I had done a great job on the costume and makeup.
“So who are you?” He eyed me suspiciously. I smiled brightly, not able to contain it any longer. I was just so grateful to be able to see him after all this time and to be able to see him face-to-face for the first time. He was just so breathtaking standing before me. “Obviously not your lawyer,” I replied almost smugly. My smile widened.
He glared at me for a second more and then he practically climbed over the top of the table to stand directly beside me and studied my face intently. “Is it really you? Anna?”
I nodded, the blonde wig moving slightly with so much enthusiasm. “Recognize me now?” “Barely.” His eyes were illuminated as he looked me up and down admiring what I had created of myself. “Wow,” he finally said. “I wish you were my lawyer.” He winked at me then, and we both burst into laughter. Then his face got serious and his eyes less stern and gentler as he looked down at the floor. “You did all this just to see me?”
I nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed again. Had I gone overboard? Was it too much? “I missed you.” The words came out as a whisper.
I felt as if his eyes were penetrating mine. I could see my own reflection in those tiny pools of blue, but the woman standing with her short blonde hair and made-up face was unrecognizable.
“Can I take your hand?” he asked me.
I felt his warm fingers slide into mine before I could respond to the question. I had dreamt of his touch a hundred times in my mind and now we finally had our chance at last. His hand seemed large as it completely consumed mine, and my heart heaved within my chest. And then he led me out of the glass doors and into the brisk winter air outside. The sun floated down on us as I focused on the warmth of his smooth skin and just being next to him. There was a small courtyard out here with a patio, a few trees that were barren and a cement bench.
I leaned up against one of the walls, my back feeling the chill of the bricks through the dress. Emry stood in front of me, inches from my face. He towered over me though I wore heels, and he put one arm above my head and leaned his palm against the brick. I could see his breath coming from his slightly parted lips as he bent over me. I felt the butterflies swirl in my stomach and the lump forming in my throat. I couldn’t believe I was here at last with him, face to face. It had seemed an unattainable feat, yet I had somehow overcome the impossible. I felt paralyzed, our mouths so close, breathing the same air, our fingers still intertwined.
“Are you frightened by me?” he asked. I must have looked like a terrified mouse trying to crouch lower and lower as this young, beautiful, yet tall and muscular creature hovered above me. I opened my mouth to say something but felt the words stick in my throat, my nerves getting the best of me now. I hesitated. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing as it was hard to concentrate on thinking. My mind was so hazy at the moment.
“Are you frightened by me, Anna?” he repeated, lowering his arm and backing away slightly. I frowned as we were no longer holding hands. “No,” I whispered, wishing I wasn’t such a tangled mess around him. He turned, and I could hear him sighing, his warm breath fleeing upwards in the chill of the air. He glanced back around to face me running his hand through his brown hair. “Do you know why I’m in here?”
I pulled my back away from the brick as I could feel the cold creeping into my bones. At least the wind wasn’t able to whip around so easily within these thick, brick walls. I looked down at my feet, the shiny black shoes that covered them. I nodded.
He seemed confused that I would know such a thing. “Why then?” he said sternly, demanding I tell him. “What did you hear?”
I didn’t really want to repeat the horrid story or the way it had come from Buck’s mouth as if he were making a mockery out of Emry.
“Please, Anna, tell me what you know.” Now it was my turn to sigh. I looked up at him and saw a twinge of sorrow coming from his eyes. I hated that look. It was the one expression of his I was becoming most accustomed to. “That you supposedly threw a man off some tower,” I told him. “Your best friend.”
His face twisted in rage and he clenched his fists. “Who told you that?”
The lump in my throat was starting to burn. “Buck Brady.”
“Buck Brady?” He sneered at the very name just as Buck did with his. Well, that made the dislike between the two of them equal now. “That figures. He likes you, you know. It was so obvious by the way he acted around you that first day.”
I instantly sensed the hint of jealousy in his tone. I felt a sudden joy at the realization. I watched him study me for a moment. I stared back but didn’t say a word.
“Of course you know that,” he continued. “You’re a smart girl.”
Then he froze in place for a moment, and I thought I had seen a sudden calmness come over him just then. He had made a realization of his own. “Wait. You said supposedly.”
I nodded, rethinking my words very carefully.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well,” I began slowly. “You didn’t actually do it. Did you?”
He walked closer to me, his face near mine.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” I moved away from him in one sudden movement, trying to get to the opposite wall, away from him, anger filling me. So he was a murderer? So all of this nonsense going on inside my head thinking about him every second of every day was all for nothing? But as I swung my arm backwards, I felt him grip onto it tightly, yet gently at the same time, and turn me back around to face him. He wrapped his fingers in mine once more and held me in place.
“You don’t understand, Anna. It’s complicated,” he whispered, his eyes searching my face. “Help me to understand then, Emry,” I pleaded with him. I could feel the tears swelling in my eyes, and I didn’t want them to fall for fear that they would carry black mascara the entire way down my cheek.
Emry began pacing between the narrow walls. He ran his fingers through his hair. I was beginning to realize this was an unconscious habit of his. “I’ve retraced my steps from that night over and over again. I don’t think I did, Anna, I swear, but at the same time, I really don’t know.”
I lowered my eyebrows. “That’s not helping me to understand when you say it that way.” He growled in frustration and then took my hand once again and walked me over to the bench where we sat down simultaneously. He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, trying to rid himself of the irritation with the heavy sigh. It must not have made him feel any better as he buried his face in his hands for a moment, and I focused my attention to the top of his head. I wanted so badly to run my own fingers through his hair and
comfort him. I raised my hand but then quickly placed it back in front of me on my lap. I waited, trying to be patient, letting him gather his thoughts. I was praying that he would be able to give me some sort of explanation. I couldn’t bear the thought of labeling him a killer. Emry Logan could not be a killer. It seemed truly impossible now sitting next to him. Although in the back of my mind my nerves stood on end from both desiring to be here and the desire to run out of here, knowing this wasn’t safe but yet feeling safe by his side all at the same time. My mind spun out of control with contradictory emotions that it was beginning to drive me slightly mad with the agony of it all.
Emry looked up then, his blue eyes glistening slightly. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m just so frustrated. I must be acting like a total lunatic.” I smiled. With our eyes locked on each other, my heart began to flutter, and I took a deep breath myself, feeling as if my lungs weren’t getting the proper amount of air. “Don’t apologize,” I told him, my voice softer as well. I smiled again, hoping I didn’t look frightened or angry with him, but wanting to enjoy this valuable time together. I wanted to help him to feel happy if only for a brief period of time in this prison courtyard. He deserved that much at the very least. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to,” I added quickly, but not really meaning it. In truth, I wanted to know every detail. His life was such a mystery to me.
“No. I want you to know everything.” He hesitated for a second. “It’s just … I don’t know how to tell you without scaring you. I don’t want to scare you, although I understand if I do, but I mean, then again, you are sitting here next to me face to face, so surely you’re not afraid.” He studied my face, trying to assess my reaction.
I looked away. Was I afraid? Not of him, I didn’t think at least. I was afraid of this whole situation, of where exactly this was headed, because I felt like every day led me deeper and deeper into this emotional swirl that seemed inevitable to only spiral downward, me getting devastated in the end, but then, I felt there was no escaping it either. Emry had my heart cornered. There was nowhere else to go but toward him. He had finally given my life meaning, and the emotions I felt, no matter how insane they were making me act, were ones I’d never experienced before, and they were amazing. I was addicted to this craziness. No, there was no turning back now that I had decided.
“I’m a strong person,” I said. Then I took his other hand in mine, the first action I had taken toward him, and I stroked his knuckles with my thumbs. His tan hands were smooth and warm. The very sensation of his touch overwhelmed me as I longed to be in his arms just then. “I feel safe with you, Emry.”
He looked down at our hands and then pressed his lips together firmly. “I guess I’ll just tell you the whole story. I’ll begin with the part of the story of how they told me it happened.” “They?”
“The cops that arrested me.”
“Oh.” I decided I should probably shut my mouth and not interrupt him or else he would never get to tell me what was going on. “I’ll just tell it my own way. Wes is my best friend …. was my best friend,” he began. His eyes glistened with tears, and he quickly lowered his head so I wouldn’t see. “He called me up that evening. It was just about dark. He had had a fight with some girl he was seeing. I can’t even remember her name. He bounced from girl to girl every other week. Anyway, he wanted to go throw back a couple of beers at this tower we always hung out at. It was way up in the woods, but there is an old path back there so we could just drive up to it. So I met him there, and he had had a couple of six packs with him. He just wanted to vent and tell me about this girl. He didn’t seem that upset. Then after a while, the sun had set, and I was leaning back against the tower staring up at the stars.” Emry paused for a moment, remaining still, and then I felt his fingers stroke the inside of my palms, the sensation rippling up my arms. “Then I kind of blanked out. And when I sat up again, Wes was gone. I called out his name and there was no answer. I got up and looked down over the side, and that’s when I saw what I assumed was him down on the ground in front of the tower. He looked like a speck though, I was so high up. And then I began to panic. I climbed down to him and tried to wake him up, but he was dead. His eyes were staring up at me, his body was kind of twisted from the broken bones, and there was blood everywhere.” He released his grasp from my hand to put it up to his face as I imagined his remembrance of Wes’ body was too much for him to hold in.
I wrapped my arm across his chest just then and pressed my face against his shoulder. The scent of his neck filled my nostrils, and I breathed in deeply trying to almost get a taste of it. He put his hand up on my arm and his head on top of my head and we sat perfectly still like that for a few minutes.
“I didn’t get any bars on my cell phone up there, and I didn’t want to leave Wes like that, but I had to. I jumped in my truck and raced down the road until I did get reception, and then I called 911. And the police came up along with EMS. They got his body, asked me what I knew. I assumed he had fallen, because I don’t remember hearing anything strange. He didn’t scream or call out to me or anything.” I felt him sigh, his warm breath colliding with the skin on my ear. “The thing is, the police didn’t seem to question what I had told them at all. Wes was gone and buried, and then one day the cops paid me a visit. It was Buck Brady and some of his men. They began questioning me about what had happened, and it felt as if they were accusing me or trying to get me to confess to something. I got very angry, and then suddenly something happened.”
“What?”
“The next thing I knew Buck Brady’s body was slammed into a tree.”
“You hit him?”
“No.” He let it go at that. “They left, but then the next day, well, that’s when things got even weirder.” I pulled myself away from him so that I could look into his eyes once more. His side of the story seemed totally legit to me. How could anyone think of him as a liar? “What do you mean by weirder?” I raised my eyebrows in question.
He leaned forward and rested his forehead against mine. Our mouths were so close. I focused all of my attention to his lips and memorized every aspect of them, unable to look away.
“Then they came to get me.”
“The police?”
“Well, yeah. There was Buck Brady again, two other guys with him that I assume were cops but weren’t in uniform, and your dad.”
I jerked my head up so fast I almost fell backwards off the bench. “What? Why was he there?” Emry shrugged. “No idea, but he wasn’t happy with me. Him and Buck Brady were actually pretty mean. They gave me no chance to explain myself. They jerked me right out of the house and practically threw me in the back of the car.”
“This doesn’t make any sense.” My thoughts were spinning. What business would my father have had with police matters? And him acting aggressively toward another human being, well, that was just something he never did. My father wasn’t hostile. “But how could they arrest you? They didn’t have any proof.”
“They had a witness.”
“But you said …”
He nodded. “Exactly. It was only me and Wes. They told me that this girl was there and had seen the whole thing.”
“Who?”
“Her name’s Stacy Helig. She’s a waitress down at the diner. Sometimes she’d hang out with us, too, but not that night.” I repeated the name in my thoughts. I came up blank. Surely I would have seen her down there at the diner though. We used to go there once a week to eat, if not more sometimes before my mother had been hospitalized. “I don’t know that name.”
He stared at me and then lifted his palm up in the air. I placed my hand in his. It still felt slightly uncomfortable. I felt strong emotions wash over me as his skin brushed against mine. “Well, she said she saw me fighting with Wes and then push him over the side.” “But you were the one who called the police,” I said in a defensive tone.
“Exactly.” He shrugged again. “They wouldn’t give me any more information about her. I s
uppose I’ll get to hear more of her side in court when she testifies against me. But I think they pulled her out of thin air.”
I lowered my eyebrows in question, not fully understanding what he meant.
He recognized my clueless expression. “They paid her or whatever to get her to say what she said.” “But why?”
“To get to me. To have a reason to lock me up.”
I sighed. Now I knew why he was so frustrated. This whole situation felt so wrong. He didn’t belong here, yet here he was, trapped and all the while, I was trapped as well being forced to be away from him every day. And the question of my father being involved irritated me further. He wasn’t exactly at the top of my list as good doers anymore, but I didn’t think him capable of harming another’s reputation. Then again, I had never assumed him capable of cheating on my mother either. I tried to shake the memory of him and Mrs. Anderson from my thoughts and return to the situation before me now.
“Okay. So, here’s what I still don’t understand.” I stared straight into those beautiful blue eyes again and bit my lip as I tried to concentrate on all the details of his explanation. “You doing all right?” a voice called out just then.
I quickly jerked my hands away from Emry, abruptly ending all physical contact as I looked up
toward Paul who was peeking his head out the door. Emry had had his back toward him, so I didn’t think he had seen anything out of the ordinary except two people talking on the bench. “We’re fine, thanks!” I called back to him. Then I cursed myself silently for having being polite right then. I forgot that I was still Amelia Roberts. I watched him go back inside. Emry never even flinched or turned to look his way.
“You were saying?” he whispered, a smirk on his face from how jumpy I was. His expression made me smile in response. I offered him my hand and he took it without hesitation. “Well, you said you weren’t sure if you did it. I think you used the term that you ‘blanked out’ or something along those lines. So what does that mean? How could you not remember arguing with him? Were you so drunk you passed out, or did you fall asleep?”
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