“Oh,” Mariah responds and lifts her eyebrows at me. “Why?”
Before I have a chance to answer, Lindsey says, “Because she was ’sick‘.” And actually uses air quotes as if to emphasize her disbelief.
“Did you get drunk?” Mariah leans in to listen to my response. “Why didn’t you tell me you were bringing alcohol? How did you sneak a drink and not get caught?”
“I wasn’t drunk. I just felt like I was going to be sick.” I leave it at that, because the less I say the better it is. “So I walked home.”
“In those killer gold heels you were wearing?”
“Um, yeah.” I nod and look down at my food tray, pushing everything around and not really eating anything. I lie about them too, because I have no idea where one is, and the other is shoved in the back of my closet, along with my dress.
“Hey, babe.” Levi sits beside me, hooking his arm over my shoulder. “What’s for lunch?” He grabs the banana from my tray, peels it and eats it.
“I don’t know. I’m not really hungry. Here, I haven’t touched it.” Sliding the tray in front of Levi, he takes it and starts inhaling the food as if he’s never eaten before.
Reece sits beside Mariah and clunks his tray down while watching me. I quickly glance at him then back down to my knotted hands. “Are you okay?” he asks quietly once everyone around the table starts talking.
Not saying anything, I simply nod. “Are you sure?”
“Yep.” I look up at him and weakly smile. “I’m sure.”
Reece’s penetrating gaze holds me captive. His strong brown eyes don’t let me go. He’s looking at me as if he wants to say something, but can’t. Oh God, it’s not him is it? He brings his hand up to his face, and looks sideways at Levi before he whispers, “You look different, Dakota. I can tell something’s wrong.”
My stomach jumps when he speaks the words, but I calm myself down and try to keep anything from becoming visible. “I’m good.” I smile. “I need to go to the bathroom. Excuse me.” I stand and grab my bag.
“Hey, where are you going?” Levi asks with a mouth full of food.
“Bathroom.” I don’t wait to hear if he has anything to add. Instead I get out of there.
As I’m walking out of the cafeteria I see Sophie, a girl in my year sitting at a table near the bin on her own. Her nose is stuck in a book, and she’s concentrating hard on not being seen. I recognize it now as how I’ve been feeling ever since the prom.
I don’t know why, because I’ve never said more than a handful of words to her. But something inside is telling me to go over and talk to her. I plonk my bag on the empty seat opposite her and sit, waiting for her to acknowledge me. Sophie slowly peers over her book at me, and then brings her book back up to cover her face.
“Hi, Sophie,” I say. I’m met with complete silence. “I’m Dakota.” I stop and wait again.
“I know who you are,” she answers without lowering her book. “What are you doing over here? Why aren’t you with your popular friends, sitting at the popular table, talking about all the popular things you all do?”
My mood drops as my shoulders slump to reflect how I’m feeling. “I’m sorry.” I stand and grab my bag. “Sorry to have bothered you.”
I start to walk away when Sophie calls me back. “No, I should apologize. You haven’t done anything wrong. Come back.” Halting my steps, I turn to her to see she’s put her book down. “Come on.” She warmly smiles at me.
“Thanks.” I sit again and now an awkward silence engulfs both of us. “Have I done something to upset you in the past?”
“Not you . . . but some of them.” She flicks her chin in the direction of where I was sitting. “They’re not nice. You’ve only ever ignored me.”
Heaviness tightens every pore of my body and ice trickles down my spine as I shamefully avert my eyes. “I didn’t realize I’d been ignoring you. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” She shrugs. “At least you know now.”
I’m beyond ashamed of the way I’ve treated her. I know how bullying can effect someone, but I’ve never stopped to think what silence can do too. “Why aren’t you sitting with your friends?” I ask trying to move away from my own embarrassment to something more positive.
“Wow.” She lets out a chuckle while looking around us. “You really know how to ignore a person.” I feel myself look at her questioningly. “I don’t have any friends. No one wants to hang out with me. Usually I spend my time in the library, but sometimes I come in here or go sit out under a tree.”
“By yourself?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Why don’t you have any friends?”
“Doesn’t matter why. And don’t feel obligated to pretend to be one now.” Tears are filling her eyes, and I can tell how hard those words must be. She must be desperate to have someone to hang out with, worse still, she must be hurt that she doesn’t. “I haven’t had a friend in such a long time, to have one now seems . . . I don’t know. Kind of like too little too late.” Her shoulders come up as if she doesn’t really care. But I can hear the ache in her voice, and I can see the loneliness behind her dark eyes.
“Well, from today, you and I are officially friends. I promise.”
“Don’t say something you can’t follow through on. I’d rather it go back to you pretending I don’t exist. I can’t deal with any more hurt than I already have.”
It’s then I see something familiar in Sophie. Her eyes are the same as the ones reflected in the mirror.
Can she be a victim too?
“You ready, little sis’?” I ask Sammy as she walks out of school and heads my way.
“I am. Have you let Mom know?”
Damn it. I’ve left my phone at home, and haven’t turned it on since I got home the other night. I can’t stomach to look at the messages and phone calls, so I let the battery die and left it at home. I figure, my phone didn’t save me from what happened on Saturday, then what’s the use of having one? “I forgot my phone at home. Have you got yours on you?”
Sammy takes it out of her pocket and holds it up triumphantly. “Sam to the rescue.” She smiles as she dials Mom’s number. “Hey, Mom, Dakota and I are going to catch the bus to the mall to get some frozen yogurt.” She listens intently to whatever Mom’s saying, while I catch myself worrying my lip between my teeth. “I’ll tell her.” She listens again. “We won’t.” Sammy rolls her eyes at me and smiles. “We will.” She takes a few breaths and I turn, starting to walk toward the bus station. “I love you too, Mom. Bye.”
Looking over my shoulder, I see Sam jog toward me. “All good with Mom?”
“Yeah, she said for us not to be too late, and to call her so she can pick us up.”
“Cool.”
We reach the bus stop in a few minutes and only have to wait a few more for the bus to come. There are lots of kids from school catching the same bus to go to the mall. “Guess what I heard today?” Sammy says in a hushed tone.
Immediately I freeze and the hairs on my arms stand to attention. Crap, did someone see something? Say something, Dakota! “What?” I say once the dryness in my mouth is gone.
“Taylor Johnson has the hots for me!” she squeals as quietly as she can.
“Who?”
“Oh my God, Dakota. Taylor Johnson. You know, he’s in my grade at school, super cute, wears glasses, kind of really dorky, too. Loves to read.” She keeps looking at me as if I’ve grown two heads. Maybe, that’s how I look to her. “You seriously have no idea who he is, do you?” I shake my head and scrunch my mouth. “I’ve been crushing on him since before Christmas.”
I look away for a moment and mentally scan everything she’s said about any boy. “Oh, yeah. Taylor. I know who you’re talking about now. I thought his name was Calvin.”
“Where did you get Calvin from?” She looks at me blankly.
I can’t help but start laughing. “You pointed him out after Christmas, and he was wearing Calvin Klein underwear; I know that be
cause you could see the elastic above his jeans. I don’t know why, but Calvin has stuck ever since. I know you’ve spoken about Taylor, but my brain automatically changes it to Calvin.”
Sammy shoulders into me and starts to laugh. “You’re such a dork, Dakota.”
The bus gets to the mall fairly quickly, and most of the students from school file off and go in their separate directions. Sam and I walk toward the frozen yogurt shop, and when we get there we fill our cups with what we want, pay, and sit to eat it.
“So, tell me about the prom,” Sam says as she eats some of the yogurt.
“It was fun.” The good part I can remember, not the bad part I can’t.
“That’s it? It was fun? Nothing to add to that?”
“What do you want to know?” I stir the yogurt, mixing all the flavors with unwarranted concentration to avoid looking at her.
Sam has left the spoon in her cup and is twirling her light brown hair around her finger. “Just tell the truth.” Those words cut right through to me. It’s as if she knows what happened, but is waiting for me to tell her. I can’t risk it though. If she doesn’t know and I tell her, she’ll stop looking at me with so much love.
Shrugging my shoulders I quickly dismiss anything she may be thinking. “There’s not really much to tell you. It was fun. The girls and I danced, and had fun. That was it.”
“Hmmm,” she mumbles, giving me an assessing look. She picks up her spoon and starts to eat her yogurt.
“So tell me about Calvin.”
“It’s Taylor, Dakota.” She rolls her eyes and smiles. The mood swiftly changes and we’re back to sisters and the awkwardness disappears. “He’s cute. Anyway, Jasmine told me in class today she heard Taylor and Curtis talking in the library and Taylor said he was going to ask me out on a date. He wants to take me to that new movie coming out, you know the one? It’s got Rebel Wilson in it. Um, crap, I forgot the name . . .” She palm slaps her forehead as she tries to remember the name of the movie.
“Oh yeah . . . um . . . it’s on the tip of my tongue.” My gaze turns to outside while I try to recall the name of the movie, and I see a man sitting in a car, talking on his phone, staring right in to the window of the store we’re in.
Mr. C.
My body goes clammy while the arctic hand of suspicion blankets me “Crap,” I mumble. Sharp thunderbolts of fear rip through my body.
“What is it?” Sam asks as she turns her head to gaze in the direction I’m looking.
I’m paralyzed with fear. Why is he here? “Nothing,” I respond as confidently as I can. But I know my tone suggests there’s something very wrong.
“Hey look, it’s Mr. Collins. Let’s go say hi to him,” Sam innocently says.
“NO!” I shout so loud a hush falls over everyone in the yogurt store as they all turn to look in our direction. Sam’s own features are questioning, as if I’ve freaked out for no reason. “I mean no, we’d better not. This is his time. He wouldn’t want us to disturb him.” Phew, good save.
“Yeah, I ‘spose.” Casually she goes back to her yogurt as if I hadn’t just had a minor freakout. “Anyway, about Taylor. What do you think, should I go out with him when he asks me?”
With Mr. C in my thoughts, I didn’t really understand the question Sam asked me. “Huh?”
“Are you even listening to me? I said, should I go out with Taylor when he asks me, and would you help me with my outfit for the movies? I mean, I don’t want to come across . . . you know . . .” She leans in so no one can hear us and looks around before she whispers, “Easy.” Sam scrunches her nose in response to her own word.
“If that’s what he wants you for then I’m sorry, Sammy. There’s no chance in hell I’ll let you go.” I’m not going to let her go through what I’m going through.
“He’s not like that, but I also don’t want to give him the wrong impression either. I mean, I’m into him, but I’m not into him enough to do that with him.”
“Sam, you’re fourteen, you shouldn’t even be thinking about sex. Just promise me something.”
“What?” She scoops the last of her yogurt out and pops it into her mouth.
“Don’t give it to the first guy who wants it. There’ll be lots more to come along, and besides, you don’t want to be known as that girl, either.”
“I have no intention of having sex until I’m at least sixteen. So you don’t have to worry about me, Dakota.”
Lord. “Sixteen? You can wait longer; there’s no rush.”
“How long are you going to wait?”
Cringing, my pulse quickens and I know sweat is beginning to form on the back of my neck. I say the only thing I can, without telling her about what’s happened. “Until the right guy comes along.”
“So, Levi?” Staring at her across the booth, I simply lift my shoulders. “Are you saying you’re not going to have sex with Levi?”
My blood boils as every possible emotion floods me. “I don’t think so,” I finally manage to say. “I don’t think we’re right together.”
“What? Now I know something’s happened. Did he try to force you on Saturday? Because I swear to God, Dakota, if he did . . .” A cherry color floods her face.
“No. God, no. He didn’t force me.” I close my eyes while shaking my head. “No, he didn’t try to force me,” I say again with a sigh. It takes me a few seconds to gather my strength and open my eyes. “I’m just saying, it’s not something you should do because you’re a certain age, or because it’s the thing everyone’s doing. Have sex when you are ready, not when everyone else says it’s time.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Hey, babe. I didn’t know you were coming to the mall,” Levi says as he slides into the booth beside me, while Reece sits next to Sam.
“Hey.” Reece greets us together. “How are you, Sam?” Once I smile at Reece to acknowledge him, he turns to face my sister and talk to her.
“Yeah, we’re just having yogurt then going home,” I reply to Levi.
Levi lifts his hand to cup the back of my head, and moves his face down to kiss me. But I pull away and don’t let him get the kiss in. “What’s wrong?” he asks as he sits back in the seat and stares at me bitterly.
“Nothing.” I look over to Sam, and although she’s talking to Reece, she’s still looking across to Levi and me. “Not here,” I whisper as I tell him with just shifting my eyes how my little sister is watching.
Levi stands and straightens his shoulders. “Tomorrow, we gotta talk,” he says. “You staying?” he asks Reece. “Bye, Sam.” Levi takes off without waiting for Reece.
Reece stands, but before he leaves to go with Levi, he comes around my side of the table, and sits beside me. “You okay?” he asks. His dark brown eyes hold nothing but concern for me.
“I’m fine.” I turn to smile at Sam, and avoid Reece’s powerful gaze. If I look at him right now, I know he’ll see straight through me, and he’ll start asking questions.
“You sure?” He stands and slings his school bag over his shoulder.
“Yep.” I nervously tuck some fallen hair behind my ear. “I’m good.” I quickly look up, smile then look back to Sam.
“See you at school tomorrow. See ya,’ Sam.” Reece leaves and I suddenly realize a knot has been sitting in my gut. A nervousness, in a calming way, not a bad way.
“He’s into you.” Sam flicks her stare in the direction of Levi and Reece.
“He’s my boyfriend, but I think after that ‘we need to talk,’ he probably won’t be for long.”
“Not Levi. I’m talking about Reece.”
“What?”
“Reece. He’s into you.”
My brows pull together in question. “Whatever.” Shaking my head and rolling my eyes, I stand and grab my bag. “Come on. Call Mom and tell her to meet us out the front near the cab stand.”
“He’s into you,” she says in a high, sing-song voice. “I’m telling ya,’ Reece Hendricks is into you.”
“Doesn’t mat
ter.” We start walking out of the yogurt store and toward where Sam and I will meet Mom.
Sam grabs her phone, and gives Mom a quick call, telling her where we’ll be. When she ends the call, she taps me on the shoulder as we near our meeting spot. “Why doesn’t it matter?”
“Huh?” I try and play dumb hoping she’ll drop the subject, but Sam is so stubborn and she’ll keep going until she finally gets an answer.
“Reece.” She encourages me with her happy smile.
“What about him?”
“Hello, girls. What are you doing here?” My heart skips a beat when I turn and come face to face with Mr. Collins.
“We were having frozen yogurt, Mr. C,” Sam sweetly responds.
Instinctively I step into her, pushing her to behind me so his eyes are on me and not her. “Mom will be here in a minute to pick us up,” I retort while trying to shield Sam.
“I’ll walk with you,” he says and steps around me to stand beside Sam.
Fuck . . . My mind is turning rapidly as I try and think of something, anything, to get him away from us. And away from Sam. “Actually, Sam and I need to go into Target to grab a few things before she gets here,” I say and tug on Sam’s bag to go toward Target and away from Mr. Collins.
“We do?” Sam naïvely asks.
“Yeah we do. Thanks for the offer, Mr. Collins, but we’ll be okay.”
“I’d feel more comfortable if I waited with you,” he says while trying to get us to leave the mall.
“No, we’re okay. See you tomorrow at school. C’mon, Sam.” I start walking so fast that Sam is almost jogging to keep up with me.
“What happened? We don’t have to go to Target.”
“Just keep walking, and don’t look behind you.”
“What? Why?”
“Shhh.” We get into Target, and I lead us to where the check-out counters are. There are people milling about here, and if he comes in, I’ll have a clear line of sight. The other advantage is the number of people around will make it difficult for him to try anything, whereas the cab stand is more isolated and anything can happen there. I can’t take any chances with Sam.
“What’s going on?” Sam asks clearly confused and frightened.
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