by Lily Velez
But the dirt kept coming, gushing forth quicker than I had ever seen dirt move, like it was a flood of water.
“This is not real,” I told myself as the dirt quickly rose over the sides of Alison’s casket. “This is not real, this is not real.” My heart said otherwise. It was pounding against my chest so fast I thought it’d burst right out of my body.
I started for another wall to attempt a second climb. I moved too quickly. I slipped across the shiny surface of the casket and crashed into its hard wood, my stomach and arms throbbing. I rolled over onto my side, cradling my elbow.
“This is not real!” I squeezed my eyes shut to envision Alison’s room at Serenity Falls just as Jack had instructed. But when I opened them, I was still in the grave and more dirt charged for me without mercy.
I shielded my face with my arms as it kept coming, until it covered me entirely and filled my mouth when I parted my lips for a breath of air. But no air came—just dirt, reaching past my tongue, down my throat, filling my lungs.
I screamed. I screamed and screamed and screamed, but it was muffled and choked off by the dirt as I thrashed against it, until my thoughts dimmed and my movements stilled and there was nothing left but blackness.
23
I bolted upright with a cry, wheezing as I tried to quickly inhale lungfuls of oxygen.
Jack dropped to his knees beside me and clamped a warm hand over my mouth. He threw a glance to Lucas, who poked his head out the door, looking up and down the hallway. The younger Connelly clicked the door back shut and gave a thumbs up. No one had heard.
Jack removed his hand, though the warmth of his touch remained on and around my lips for a few moments longer. I proceeded to catch as many breaths as I could without hyperventilating.
“Scarlet, are you all right?”
I rushed to brush my hands down my arms, my legs, my face, clearing away any lingering dirt. There wasn’t any, of course, which left me mystified. How could something so imaginary feel so real? Even now, my skin crawled as if I were still trapped in that grave, wriggling earthworms all around me. I plugged my fingers into my ears to ensure nothing had crawled into them. Nothing had. I puffed out air through my nostrils because I could still feel dirt there too. All clear.
“Scarlet?” Jack prompted again. “What did you see?”
I glanced to Alison, still hunched over in her wheelchair. She hadn’t moved from that eerie position of hers, and her eyes were as dull as ever. And yet sealed inside her mind was a vivid world of color and song and heartache and tragedy.
“It was a blur,” I replied. Not exactly a lie, considering the speed by which I’d been swept from one memory to another.
“Were you able to speak with her?”
Speak with her? I’d barely been able to keep my sanity intact. “No,” I answered. My voice sounded small, in part because I could feel Connor’s disapproval from here. It was a flame-tipped arrow that bit into my neck and made the skin there flush. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right. We can try again if you’re up to it. Now that you know what to expect.”
I pictured myself in that grave again, the dirt gushing in to block all hope of escape. What other tortures awaited me inside Alison’s mind? I’d been lucky enough to wake up inside my own body this time around. Who was to say I’d luck out again? I could end up imprisoned in Alison’s memories forever.
“I tried to envision the room, but it didn’t work. At least not as quickly as I’d hoped it would.”
“You might’ve been too overwrought by whatever it is you saw. Sometimes we buy into the fear because of how real it seems, even if we know somewhere in the back of our mind that it’s only an illusion.”
“We’re wasting time,” Connor snapped. “She obviously doesn’t know what she’s doing. I’ll transfer.”
“No,” I said, steeling my voice. “I’ll try again.”
I finally brought myself to look at Jack. His eyes were as world-weary as they’d been in the first memory I’d walked into. I didn’t want him to relive any other memories like it, to be reminded of his family’s tragedies. He deserved to be spared this.
“I’ll try again,” I repeated, picking up the lock of Alison’s hair and gripping it tightly.
Jack nodded, the gratitude evident in his eyes, almost as if he could guess my reasons why. “Thank you.”
This time when I transferred, my first assumption was that something had gone wrong with the spell. I was in Alison’s room at Serenity Falls. The same cold, white floor, the same mind-numbingly, plain, white walls, and the same low, white ceiling. Except I soon realized there was no sigil underneath my body, Alison’s wheelchair was on the other side of the window, and the brothers were nowhere to be seen.
Alison was still in her catatonic state, which meant this had to be a memory from within the past year. She wasn’t nearly as frail or as withered away as her present-day self, but she was still largely detached from the world around her. She was posturing again as well, with one arm stretched straight out to the side. Only her eyes moved as she took in her view of the institute’s grounds. Below, a large group of residents were moving their arms in slow, flowing, hypnotic motions. Tai Chi.
Get her to talk before you forget where you are. Right. That was my new plan of attack, to jump right into action before this world of hers could beguile me.
“Alison?” I croaked.
The woman didn’t acknowledge me, only kept staring out her window. The way the sun filtered in through the window’s grating made it look like she had dozens of gold coins resting on her skin.
I moistened my lips and drew closer. “Alison?” No response. I leaned over slightly, nearly blocking the woman’s view. “Alison? My name’s Scarlet. Jack sent me here. Your son? He—”
“Alison, love,” sang out a cheerful voice, “Jack’s here to see you.” The golden-haired nurse who’d greeted us earlier this morning strolled into the room with a sunny smile, Jack a step behind. I froze but soon realized neither of them could see me.
When the nurse left, Jack shrugged out of his St. Andrew’s blazer and folded it over the back of Alison’s wheelchair. Then he knelt before her, trying to catch her eyes. Alison continued watching the Tai Chi class below.
“Hello, Mam. How are you feeling today?” He tenderly moved her stretched out arm and slowly bent it at the elbow to set it on her lap. Then he took one of her hands in both his own and began to gently massage it. There was something so tender about the gesture, so pure. I thought of the days when my mom would spend hours receiving chemo in the hospital, how I’d sit beside her as we watched home decorating shows off my phone or put together scrapbook pages. It was simply a way to get her mind off the cancer, but we had ended up fitting more bonding into those afternoons than what might typically occur for others over several months. Maybe even years.
“Are you eating well? You’ve got to keep up your strength so that when the time comes, you’re able to walk out of here on your own two feet.” He moved to her other hand, kneading the muscles delicately, as if trying to wake up the dormant life underneath her skin, as if trying to wake up the magic.
“I made varsity today. Connor too. Though the jury’s still out as to whether or not Coach Stewart only intends on benching him for the entire season. You know how Connor gets. Exeter still refuses to play us because of that incident.
“Lucas has entered the science and technology fair, if you can believe it. I know I didn’t at first, but I was happy to hear he was taking his studies more seriously. Of course, then I learned his project concerned whether a dog and person could switch bodies, so I can only imagine what sort of prank he’s got up his sleeve for the big reveal.
“And Rory’s doing well. You should see how the greenhouse has come along. He’s actually heading out to Japan in a few months for Easter holiday. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, since none of us have ever been that far apart from each other, but I think it’d be good for him. Maybe he’ll make a fri
end or two.”
Jack kept talking in spite of Alison’s silence, unbothered by her inability to respond, accustomed to it.
But then Alison did respond. Her gaze still fixed on the window, her chapped lips slightly parted. “I can’t hear their songs anymore.” It was no more than a coarse whisper.
Jack looked up from massaging his mother’s hands, his expression pained. He stood and dragged a chair over to the room’s door, barricading it lest someone walk in on them. Then he returned to his mother, kneeling before her again, and he took both of her hands.
“I’ll bring them to you,” he said.
Slowly, the seams of the world began to bleed away, like water washing away the colors in a fresh oil painting. The room faded, everything did, until the scene changed completely. We were no longer at Serenity Falls. We were in a place that looked very much like the rooftop greenhouse at St. Andrew’s.
Terracotta floors in numerous shades of red appeared beneath our feet. The air warmed, scented with fresh soil. The walls of Alison’s room were replaced with hanging pothos plants, the vines of which reached several dozen feet in every direction. I stumbled back a few steps, taking it all in with utter amazement.
Then the songs came.
Beautiful, melodic, enchanting.
Birdsong.
The place was full of them—birds. Every size, every color, every species. It was a menagerie of birds. And their songs filled the air in chirps, whistles, sirens, and caws. A Zebra finch zipped down and perched atop Alison’s finger, cocking its head, its tangerine cheeks giving it a cheerful appearance. After a moment, it sprung into flight again. Alison’s eyes lit up. She looked at Jack in awe, as if to say, “Did you see that?”
Jack smiled at her, a warm, tender smile, nothing but affection in his eyes. He followed her through the aviary as she marveled at the birds, as she watered the plants, content to simply while away the time. She had risen from her wheelchair with such ease and now strode along with the utmost vivacity. I knew I should leave and find a new scene to explore or at the very least attempt to get Alison’s attention again, but I was so taken aback by the change in her and wanted to see how the rest of the memory played out.
Just remember this isn’t real, I told myself. I didn’t want to lose myself again.
At one point, Alison opened a storage locker to retrieve feed for the birds. As the door swung open, a picture fluttered to the floor. Alison picked it up. In the photograph, she was surrounded on all sides by her four boys, everyone beaming happily into the camera. It had to be only a few years old. She studied it for several long, quiet moments, her brow furrowing. Jack had gone tense beside her, waiting.
“I know these people,” Alison whispered. She caressed the glossy surface of the picture, her finger pausing over Jack’s face. She turned to him, looking at him as if he were a puzzle she was trying to solve.
Jack held her gaze, saying nothing, wanting her to reach the answer on her own.
I saw the moment when Alison’s eyes began to clear, like a summer sky brightening when the clouds finally unveil the sun. Her features stretched into astonishment. “…Jack?”
The tension instantly melted out of Jack’s body. He gently grabbed his mother’s arms to hold her steady, to comfort her. “It’s me, Mam.”
Alison looked about her in confusion. “What happened? How are we here?”
“It’s all right. You don’t have to be afraid. We can stay here as long as you’d like.”
Tears pooled in her eyes. I wasn’t sure what had saddened her until she asked her next question. “How long have I been away this time?”
Jack hesitated to respond.
It was all Alison needed. Her tears skated down her face, their trails glimmering on her cheeks. “My sweet Jack,” she said, a palm cradling his jaw. “You never give up on me, do you?”
“And I never will.” He put his hand over hers, squeezing her fingers. “You’re going to get better, Mam. Just stay with me a little bit longer, all right? Tell me what I need to do to help you.”
Alison’s body went rigid suddenly as her eyes flew past him. “We’re already out of time. They’re here.”
Jack whirled around to follow her line of sight, but there was nothing there. “Whoever or whatever they are, I’ll stop them. I’ll stop this from happening again. Just tell me how.”
Alison scrambled back, knocking over tin watering cans that crashed with a metallic bellow. “They’re coming for me. Every time I try to surface, they’re sure to pull me back under.” Her eyes were already clouding over again as she shook her head unendingly. She couldn’t hear Jack anymore, didn’t even know he was there. “No, please. Not again. Don’t keep me away from my boys!”
Jack’s eyes darted all about the aviary, trying to hone in on his opponent, but he was blind to whatever was assailing his mother.
So was I. Initially. And then shadows began to materialize right before my eyes. They were bodiless, made entirely of black smoke, and even then they were still terrifying. Demons. Somehow, in my gut, I knew it’s what they were. There had to be dozens of them, an infestation of the worst kind.
“No!” Alison screamed as they descended upon her, throwing her back and then funneling into her mouth, her nose, her ears. To Jack, it must’ve looked as if his mother were having a seizure on the ground.
“This is not real, this is not real,” I chanted to myself, tapping the sides of my head as if that might wake me up. I tried once more to envision Alison’s room back at Serenity Falls, urging any part of me that thought this was my actual reality to cease and desist lest I be stuck here longer than necessary.
One of the shadows noticed me in a corner, though. In the next instant, it materialized before me, solidifying into a humanoid form. It gripped my throat like a vise. I felt my face bulge from the pressure. Its eyes were like swirls of hellfire seeking to pull me into their scorching flames. The shadow demon lifted me into the air, my kicking feet dangling several inches from the floor.
This is not real, this is not real, this is not real!
I clawed at the demon’s digits, tearing at skin with my nails, but the pain didn’t faze the creature in the least. Its grip wouldn’t yield. My mind grew foggy from lack of oxygen, my muscles tiring the more I thrashed about.
This is not real!
I screamed it through every corridor of my mind even as I felt myself shattering into a million pieces, even as my vision faded, even as I felt an abyss of nightmares swallow me whole.
24
I didn’t return to Serenity Falls. Instead, I found myself racing through a forest under a full moon, breathless and sweating. Though I couldn’t see them, I knew the shadow demons from the aviary were pursuing me, were closing in. I pushed myself harder, adding heat to my speed, my feet hitting the earth with an impact that made my head throb.
I tripped over an upraised tree root and slammed into the cool dirt. My chest and stomach screamed in sharp pain. Coughing out moist earth, I scrambled to my hands and knees and righted myself to my feet, sprinting through the forest once more.
In the dark, the trees were like gnarled hands grasping at the stars. As I passed them, glowing eyes peeked out of trunk cavities before winking out of sight. Small animals rushed out of my way, cutting a crackling course through the dry leaves on the ground.
That’s when the young woman in the white nightgown appeared in front of me. Like me, she pelted through the woods, looking over her shoulder every few seconds at the monsters pursuing her. Alison.
Somehow, I knew this wasn’t a memory. It had the same feel as my stint in Alison’s grave, which meant it was either a fear or a nightmare.
I called out Alison’s name again and again, but she either didn’t hear me or assumed the demons were merely playing tricks on her mind. I opened my mouth to try again, but the yell died at the base of my throat when a cliff edge suddenly appeared at my feet. Thrown off balance, my arms frantically windmilled as I tried to steady myself, but m
y body pitched forward and I started to fall…
…and then a hand fisted the back of my shirt and yanked me away from the edge at the last second. I whirled around to face my savior, my heart throbbing.
“Alison!”
“You have to stop them.” She looked crazed, eyes blood-shot and wide with terror. She gripped my arms so tight her nails dug into my skin.
“Stop who? Alison, I’m here because I need to ask you something very important. I’m a friend of Jack’s. The Wise Ones—”
She wasn’t listening to me. The whispers held her attention. They were low, dark, and inhuman. The way you’d expect the devils from a nightmare to sound. I couldn’t make out their words. They were in a tongue unknown to me, one that was guttural and harsh so that every syllable sounded cruel and dangerous. They were all around us and growing louder, covering my arms with gooseflesh.
“You have to stop them,” Alison said again.
“The shadow demons, you mean? How could I possibly stop them?”
“Please. It’s the only way to help.”
The demons materialized before us, a daunting legion of them. My beloved ‘this is not real’ mantra wasn’t going to cut it this time. Because as far as I was concerned, this was very real. All too real.
The demons drew closer, and I backed away until my heels were flush with the cliff edge.
“You can stop them,” Alison said. “You must.”
“But I don’t know how.”
“Then we’re all doomed,” she said. Her eyes grew faraway and glassy. As she shuffled her feet back, pebbles dislodged from the cliff edge and plunged into the darkness below. In one fluid movement, Alison stretched her arms out horizontally and fell back to join them.
Then the shadow demons lunged for me, and when I jerked away from their attack, the momentum sent me over the cliff edge, rushing after Alison.
I woke to the sound of whining hinges.
