by Lea Hart
Letting her eyes move slowly over him, she licked her lips and shrugged. “Guess you’ll never know.”
Pulling her in, he hugged her tight. “You are the best damn thing in the world.”
“You’re just saying that because I sexed you up good last night for our anniversary.”
“I thought it was me who sexed you up.”
The doors slid open, and they walked off. “Guess we did it to one another.” Kelly stopped next to a group of sofas and took Cole’s hand. “You are a good man, Cole, and that man in the hospital room knows it somewhere deep in his soul. No matter if he can say it or not.”
“Thanks, babe.” He kissed her head and then looked down the hall. “Showtime.”
“I’ll be here…on your six.”
He nodded and moved in the direction of his father’s room, letting Kelly’s warm spirit and love wrap around him. And yeah, even though they hadn’t said the words, it’s what they had. No fucking doubt about it.
Pushing the door open, Cole walked in and saw his father lying in the bed and felt his gut clench. The old man looked nothing like the one he remembered.
“Come in and poke me if you’re going to,” he growled out.
“Hey, Dad, it’s Cole. Your oldest son.” And if that didn’t say everything about their relationship, he didn’t know what did.
Seeing his father’s eyes open and lock with his sent a chill down his spine. “Heard you took a tumble.”
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
“See you’re still the same charming guy.” He grabbed a chair and sat down. “Uncle Shane called Seth and told him you were in bad shape. So, I came out to check on you.”
“You should’ve waited ‘cause you can’t dance on my grave quite yet.”
He decided to ignore the comment and studied his father’s weathered face. He’d worked the oil rigs for most of his life, and the time he spent in the dry heat showed on every line in his face. Add to that the alcoholism, and he looked like shit, even though he was only fifty-seven or eight. Certainly not old. “I talked to Uncle Shane last night, and he said you made it through surgery fine and now just have to go through rehab.”
“Yeah, the doc told me it was shattered in a bunch of places, and he put me back together as best he could. Probably won’t be out in the fields any time soon.”
“Not much you can do but heal up.”
“Did your sorry ass brothers come along or are you on your own?”
“Zach and Seth are taking care of our business, and I came out…with my girlfriend.”
“Well, you’ve seen me, and now you can hightail it out of here and go back to your life.”
“As much as I’d like to do that, I’ll stick around for a day or two and make sure you get into a rehab facility.”
“I’ve already gone through the withdrawals, and they have me on something, so I don’t climb the walls.”
“I was talking about a place for your hip. You can’t go back to the trailer until you can move around and since you have no one to help you, a rehab place is the best answer.”
Letting out a growl, he slapped his hand on the bed. “Don’t think you can sweep in here and take over my fucking life and tell me what to do. You boys left, and that’s that.”
The familiar rage filled his chest, and he took a deep breath, so he wouldn’t explode. “I could’ve lived the rest of my life without seeing your sorry ass. You were a shit father, and we were lucky to get out in one piece.” Running his hand down his face, he tried to calm himself down.
“I kept a roof over you boys’ heads.”
“And managed to be a mean son of a bitch who took your anger out on three young kids. Until I got big enough to stop you, we didn’t know if we’d survive your temper. So, us staying away shouldn’t be a surprise.” Standing, he walked toward the door and felt disgust, just like he always did when he thought about his father.
Shaking his head, he gave his father a grim smile and realized once again the man was going to go to the grave, spittin’ and cursin’ just like he’d done throughout his life. There was no way the old man would ever mellow and appreciate that someone came out to check on him.
“I know I failed you boys.”
Lifting his head slowly, he wondered if he’d started hearing things. “What?”
Looking at the wall, Jack McCallan wiped his hand over his face. “My memory isn’t so good anymore, but everything you’re saying rings true. I was a decent man before your mom left, or at least I like to think I was. Maybe I was always an asshole, and I’ve conveniently forgotten, just like all the other shit.”
Maybe miracles really did happen because he never thought he’d hear his father take responsibility for his actions. “There are so many bad memories piled up in my head that I don’t know if any good ones exist.”
“We had a couple of good years when we lived in that little white house on Seymore Street. I was making decent money, and your mom was happy more often than she was sad, and we were living the American fucking dream.”
Not able to stop himself, he decided to ask the question he’d had for more than twenty-five years. “What happened?”
“I’m not sure anymore. Like I said, my memory is shit, so you’d probably have to ask your Aunt Colleen. She was real close to your mom and probably has some kind of idea what made her leave. I probably knew at one time, but the drinking I’ve done to forget worked, and I have no fucking clue.”
The door opened, and Cole stepped away and saw his Uncle Shane walk in. “Hey.”
Shane slapped him on the back and smiled. “Good to see you, boy.”
“You too.”
A nurse bustled in and smiled. “Time to get cleaned up.”
Cole heard his dad moan and figured he hated the idea of being helpless. “We’ll go out in the hall.”
“You behave with that nurse, Jack,” Shane said before he walked out of the room.
Cole took one last look at his dad and walked out with his uncle following. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, taking a couple of much-needed breaths. “Thanks for letting us know.”
“Zach checks in with me a couple of times a year, so I knew he’d want to know.” He ran his hand over his neck and shrugged. “I thought he’d be the one to come out.”
“I’m the oldest and figured if he was going to sling shit, then it could be at me.”
“Nothing has changed. You always protected your brothers.”
“No other choice.” He leaned forward and saw Kelly sitting in the waiting area. “Let me introduce you to my girl.”
Shane nodded and followed. “Glad you have someone with you because life is always easier with a good woman at your side.”
Cole kept his mouth shut and moved in Kelly’s direction. Seeing his father was dredging a lot of shit up, and the old fear of not being able to outrun his genetics was raging in his head. It had been a long time since he’d felt it so viscerally and didn’t know how he was going to stomp it down, so he wouldn’t poison what he and Kelly were building.
He looked at her sitting in the corner of the couch, looking like a perfect fucking angel, and wondered what the hell she was doing with him. Wiping away the thought, he called out her name and felt the smile she pointed at him deep in his gut. The rock on his chest moved subtly, and he focused on the calm her presence provided.
Rolling his head, he told the old shit in his head to take a hike because, if it didn’t, he may screw the pooch and unravel what he and Kelly had. “Babe, this is my Uncle Shane.”
Kelly stood and put out her hand. “Hello, lovely to meet you.”
“Shane McCallan,” he responded.
“Kelly Morris.” She shook his hand and then put her arm around Shane’s waist. “I see a family resemblance.”
Cole covered her hand and took comfort in her affection. “All the McCallan men are as handsome as they are stubborn.”
“I can’t disagree,” Kelly responded as she sat
down.
Cole followed her and took her hand. “So, what do I need to do for the old man?”
Shane took a chair and placed his hands on his open knees. “Jack is not going to be able to go back to the trailer and live by himself. His memory is all but gone. He had an MRI when he was brought in and, apparently, all that drinking he’s done for the last thirty years has pickled his brain.”
“What exactly does that mean?” Kelly asked.
“As best as I can understand, he’s got a syndrome with a name I can’t remember that’s basically dementia brought on by alcoholism. It causes stumbling, loss of coordination, confusion, and gaps in long-term memory. His trailer is all but uninhabitable, and the doc said he recommends a long-term care facility.”
“Makes sense. Physically, he’s got a long road ahead of him and, if he’s not able to take care of himself, then there’s no choice.”
“Going into a facility is going to piss him the hell off, but like you said, there isn’t another option,” Shane commented.
“I’ll start looking into what’s available and work with the hospital to get him moved in once he’s discharged.”
“Maybe we can clean out his trailer while we’re here, so he can have some familiar things when he’s moved into the new place,” Kelly said as she looked up at Cole.
“That would be a big help,” Shane commented. “I’ll have your aunt help and get my boys to haul stuff out.”
“So, this is really happening,” Cole said as he looked down at his running shoes. His uncle’s big hand came into view as he put it on his arm. “I thought he’d go out in a blaze of fury; instead, he’s going to wither away in a room by himself.”
“My brother is, unfortunately, paying for his many sins and, as gut-wrenching as it is, there isn’t a choice. I made him sign over his power of attorney last year when I saw where things were headed.”
Cole glanced over at Kelly and didn’t see an ounce of judgment. Not that he expected to see any, but it was gratifying all the same. “Seems the trip is going to take longer than we thought. You want me to get you a flight back to Vegas?”
“No way. I let my clients know I was going to be away, and if anything comes up, I have my laptop.”
“Guess it’s settled then; we’re in for the duration.”
“Appreciate you coming out, Cole. I know how much of an asshole your father was and your willingness to help is appreciated.”
“It’s the right thing to do.”
“Doesn’t mean it’s easy.”
“Nothing ever is.” Taking a deep breath, he nodded. “Let’s get to it.”
“Your aunt is going to be happy to see you and will want to have you two over for supper tonight.”
“Thank you, Uncle Shane.” He stood and held out his hand to Kelly. “I guess I better introduce you to the old man.”
“Of course.” Kelly stood and smoothed out her top.
Cole nodded to his uncle and then led Kelly down the hall. “He’s going to say shitty things and be rude, so don’t take any of it personally.”
“I never do, and, despite all his mistakes, he did something right because he brought you and your brothers into the world. And I, for one, am very grateful.”
He kissed her head and stood in front of his father’s door. “Let’s get this over with.”
“I’m your six, so don’t worry.”
He let out a rough laugh and saw her confusion. “Babe, it’s on your six.”
She waved her hand and shrugged. “You know what I mean.”
Covering his mouth with hers, he kissed her firmly and didn’t know what to do with the all the emotions churning in his chest. Resentment, anger, love, and appreciation were all in there fighting to see which one was going to win. He remembered Kelly’s words about forgiveness and decided he needed to start figuring out a way to make it happen ‘cause this old shit had no place in the life he was building.
How he was going to make that happen, he had no fucking idea.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
They’d been at it for three days, and Kelly thought they might be finished by the end of the day. Jack McCallan’s home had been cleaned out and, as far as she could tell, it had been brutal for Cole. He’d vacillated between rage, frustration, and shame and had been snapping at her regularly since they’d walked out of his dad’s room.
And while she understood it, the strain was starting to wear on her. Which felt like an awful thing to admit, considering what Cole was going through. The pain the situation had brought him was taking him to his knees, and she didn’t know how she could help him.
Or if it was even possible.
All she’d managed to do was quietly help and hope he’d talk to her when he was ready. Which might be never o’clock if things continued as they had.
She picked up another picture as she sat in the boys’ bedroom and wiped it down, thinking about what kind of woman left her kids. Looking at the sweet McCallan brothers’ faces made her begin to appreciate once again how much work it had taken for them to be where they were.
Wrapping the picture up, she put it in a box, so they could take it back to Vegas. Standing, she grabbed a shoe box that was shoved to the back of the shelf and opened it. “Holy smokes,” she whispered to herself. Pictures of Cole’s parents filled it, and she saw immediately where Cole got his arresting eye color. His mom was beautiful with honey-blonde hair and ice blue eyes that matched Cole’s.
She collapsed on the bed and started going through the photos that seemed to range from their dating days all the way to the day Cole was born. What an attractive couple the young McCallans made. Jack was the dark prince to Helen’s light fairy princess aura. Studying the picture closely, she saw their open smiles and wondered how things had fallen apart as badly as they did.
No one entered a relationship thinking it was going to cause pain and heartache, and she wondered if there had ever been a fork in the road where they could’ve turned things around. Had it just been a long series of broken promises or had there been some jarring event that toppled the family?
Three kids, though. Who had three children with someone who they had no intention of keeping?
When she’d met Jack McCallan, she immediately knew that under all his bluster and bravado lay a very frightened man. Fear always made people angry and bully the people around them, and Cole’s dad had been no exception. To be lying in a hospital bed and not have control of your mind and body would make even the most peaceful man rage. And Jack McCallan was no peaceful man, that was for damn sure.
She’d witnessed him snipe and insult anyone who came within a foot of him and knew it was because he was scared out of his mind. And he hadn’t had a drink in more than a week. Cole kept calling it a shit show, and she knew it was a perfect description.
Hearing footsteps, she looked up and saw Cole standing in the doorway. “Hey.”
“What are you doing?”
“Packing up the pictures to take back to Vegas.”
“Not sure we need those.”
“Seth texted me and asked me to bring back whatever books and mementos we found.”
“The baby of the family is always the sentimental one.”
“Makes sense, since he had the least amount of time with your mom.” She held up a picture from the box and grinned. “Now I know where your eyes come from.”
He stalked toward her and collapsed on the bed, taking the picture. “Shit…”
“She was a beauty, Cole.”
“Yeah, too bad it was only her outside.”
“Did your aunt share any stories that helped make sense of why she left?”
He leaned back on his hands and closed his eyes. “Apparently, my mom had post-partum depression with both Zach and Seth, and it had been debilitating enough for her to go on meds. Not surprisingly, my dad didn’t handle it well, and it seemed to exacerbate the situation. Aunt Colleen thinks my mom also suffered from depression and maybe a couple of other things that were ne
ver treated. Seems having three kids in five years sent her over the edge and, knowing my dad, he probably made it worse.”
“I’m so sorry, Cole.”
Letting out a harsh groan, he sat up. “How many fucking times have you said that this week?”
Surprised by the sharp tone, she moved away. “Clearly, too many.” She took the picture out of his hand and put it in the box. “I’ll just finish up in here.”
Cole stood, stalking out of the room as he mumbled to himself. He was in pain, and she knew his behavior was a result of that, so she put her hurt feelings away and reminded herself it had nothing to do with her.
She was here to support him, and she would do it whether he wanted it or not.
***
Cole walked outside of the trailer and ran his hand over his face and tried to pull himself together. The week had been harder than he ever could’ve guessed, and it made him feel like a wimp. He’d been a fucking Marine for ten years, been close to dying twice, and seeing his old man and packing up the trailer was doing him in.
And he’d just taken it out on Kelly, for the twentieth time.
Letting out a long breath, he looked up to the sky and asked whoever was in charge to give him the patience he needed to get through it.
“Hey, man, just got a call from my dad; they need you down at the hospital.”
Cole opened his eyes and looked at his cousin Evan and nodded. “Thanks.”
“You want me to give you a ride, so Kelly can hang back and take the truck when she’s finished?”
“Yeah, that would be great.”
“What would be?” Cousin Vance asked as he came around the corner.
“We’re going to head over to the hospital and leave Kelly the truck. Can you hang back and help her load the boxes she wants to take to Vegas?”
“Yeah, no problem.”
“And no staring at her ass,” Cole added as he gave his too-good-looking cousin a death glare.
“Wouldn’t matter if I did since she only has eyes for you. I could dance around naked, and she’d just ask me to move so she could keep her pretty green eyes on you.”
