by Jessica Hart
Which was ridiculous. It wasn’t as if he were jaw-droppingly handsome. There was nothing special about him at all, in fact, apart perhaps from those uncomfortably keen eyes, but somehow, once you had started noticing his mouth and his throat and the line of his cheek, it was hard to stop noticing, and, before you knew where you were, a mere glimpse was enough to make it feel as if the ground were tilting beneath your feet and your insides had disappeared, leaving you with that alarming hollow feeling that was much too close to lust for comfort.
All right, stop it now! Perdita told herself firmly every time her thoughts wandered off in that direction. This was getting silly. Ed was her boss, a work colleague. She had always made a point of not getting involved with anyone at work, and this was not the time to start. And he was a single father, which meant that he had all the concerns Nick had had, but without anyone to share them with. That put him even further out of bounds. Perdita had learnt her lesson.
Or that was what she kept telling herself.
Ed himself had given no indication that he had given their farewell another moment’s thought, which just made Perdita feel even more ridiculous. She had pushed a note through his door with the invitation to lunch, reasoning that he could easily find an excuse if he wanted, but Ed had rung her at home to say that they would all love to come.
The sound of his voice in her kitchen had made Perdita feel very odd. She hadn’t been expecting it and her reaction had thrown her off balance. She was used to bracing herself against it at work or when she was at her mother’s, where there was always a chance that she might bump into him, but not here at home. She wondered how he had got her number but Ed explained before she could ask that it was on the card she had given him in case there was a problem at her mother’s house.
Now she was going to see him again. Perdita was conscious of a churning in her stomach that would normally have seemed like nerves if there had been any reason at all for her to feel nervous about seeing a friend. She never felt nervous when Millie or Rick came round, so why feel it because it was Ed? Hadn’t she decided that he was just going to be a friend?
As instructed, Millie turned up early on the day of the lunch to help. Her daughters, Roz and Emily, would make their own way later.
‘I’m honoured they could fit me into their busy social schedules,’ said Perdita as she handed Millie some tomatoes to slice.
‘Oh, they’ll always make an effort for you,’ said Millie, pulling off stalks. She reached for a knife. ‘I haven’t had a chance to thank you properly yet for putting me in touch with Grace. I’m so excited about the job!’
‘Is it all agreed, then?’
Millie nodded happily. ‘I’m going to start off doing three days a week in the office and we’ll see how we go.’ She smiled at her friend. ‘I can’t tell you how grateful I am to you for organising this, Perdita. You’ve got enough on your mind at the moment without sorting out jobs for me!’
‘Well, you know I’ve always hated seeing your talents going to waste,’ said Perdita lightly. ‘I know you’ll be brilliant.’
‘I’m just so thankful for the chance to get some experience,’ Millie said with feeling. ‘It’s hard to get a job when you’re over forty, haven’t worked in an office for more than fifteen years and never had very impressive qualifications in the first place!’
Perdita was staring into the fridge, half her mind on the conversation, half trying to remember what still had to be done for the lunch, and all of it preoccupied by the prospect of seeing Ed again. ‘I get the feeling Grace is more interested in the kind of person you are than in any qualifications,’ she murmured.
‘She’s lovely, isn’t she? I’m glad she’s coming today.’ Millie watched critically as Perdita continued to dither in front of the fridge. ‘You seem a bit distracted, Perdita. You’re not nervous, are you?’ she asked, startling Perdita in the act of pulling out a plate of grilled peppers.
‘Of course not,’ said Perdita, just managing to stop the peppers sliding on to the floor in time. There was just the suspicion of a snap in her voice. ‘Why on earth should I be nervous?’
‘Because your gorgeous Ed is coming to lunch, perhaps?’
‘He’s not mine,’ said Perdita sharply. ‘And he’s not gorgeous.’
Millie received this in disbelieving silence. She started slicing tomatoes. ‘So why the lunch in his honour?’
‘I’m just being friendly.’ Perdita kept her voice carefully cool. ‘It’s a chance for him to meet some new people, that’s all.’
‘Because I got the impression the last time you mentioned him that you were quite keen on him,’ said Millie.
‘Not in the least,’ said Perdita. ‘In fact, I deliberately invited you and Grace because I think you would get on with him, and I’m sure he’d like you both. You can fight it out between you.’
Her head was bent as she concentrated on peeling the peppers and Millie observed her with a slight smile. ‘Well, great,’ she said cheerfully. ‘If you really don’t want him, I’ll have him! I think he sounds lovely.’
Perdita’s lips tightened slightly. ‘He’s very nice.’
‘I’m so glad now I know you’re not interested in him,’ Millie went on with enthusiasm. ‘I wish you’d told me earlier, though. I could have worn something a bit sexier!’
Sliding a glance at her friend under her lashes, she noted with some amusement that Perdita was looking decidedly cross. She might claim that she didn’t care about Ed, but Millie had known her a long time.
‘I can’t wait to meet him,’ she teased, but Perdita didn’t seem to think it was funny.
‘You’re not to embarrass him by being too obvious,’ she said tightly. ‘I don’t want Ed to think I’m matchmaking.’
‘Oh, don’t worry, I’ll be good. But it’s OK if I flirt with him a little, isn’t it?’
Perdita couldn’t understand why Millie seemed to find it all so amusing. Her best friend wasn’t usually this irritating, and she was beginning to wish that she had never mentioned Ed. If Millie carried on like this, Ed would probably think that she was too silly for words.
In fact, she was beginning to wish she had never thought of the lunch at all. She couldn’t really concentrate on anything and every time the doorbell rang, her heart would go into a frenzy, only to sink abruptly when it only turned out to be Rick or Peter and Jane. Then, when she was sure it must be Ed at last, it was only Grace. By the time he did arrive, her nerves were shredded.
Taking a steadying breath, she opened the door. The Merricks had met Roz and Emily on their way in, so there were six of them standing outside the door, but Perdita saw only Ed, and the sight of him was like a punch, sending the air whooshing from her lungs so that she was left clinging to the door handle for support.
‘Hi,’ she said weakly.
They all trooped in and the next few minutes were taken up with introductions and getting everyone a drink. Then Perdita had to do all the last minute business with the lunch so she barely had chance to say more than hello. Not that they seemed to be missing her in the other room. She could hear them all talking and laughing and, whenever she went through to put something on the table, Ed seemed very relaxed.
Millie certainly hadn’t wasted any time moving in on him, Perdita noted peevishly as she went round topping up glasses. The two of them were nose to nose on the balcony and she had to smile very brightly to show that she didn’t mind at all. She had hoped to fix Ed up with Millie, hadn’t she? She just hadn’t expected Millie to make her interest quite that obvious, or Ed to respond quite that quickly.
It wasn’t that she wasn’t pleased for them, Perdita told herself, but Ed might at least have shown Grace some attention. The fact that Grace seemed to be enjoying herself perfectly happily with Rick and the other couple was neither here nor there.
She took the bottle out to the balcony and refilled their glasses. ‘Is everything all right out here?’
‘Lovely, thank you.’ Millie beamed and waggled
her eyebrows meaningfully in a way that Perdita decided to ignore.
‘I’ve just been admiring your flat,’ said Ed. ‘It’s a wonderful location on the river like this. The light is wonderful.’
‘I like it,’ said Perdita. She wasn’t standing that close to him, but she was desperately aware of him. He was wearing chinos and a pale blue linen shirt with short sleeves and she could see the hairs on his forearms glinting in the sun. His eyes were creased slightly against the light, and he looked relaxed and fit.
He looked wonderful.
For a friend.
‘I love coming here,’ Millie said. ‘It’s always so calm and stylish, like a haven. My house is a tip-if your teenagers are anywhere near normal, yours probably is too,’ she added to Ed, who grinned.
‘I haven’t seen the carpet for a while, I have to admit.’
Oh, well, if they were going to get into comparing parental horror stories she might as well go, thought Perdita, forgetting that their similar experiences were precisely the reason she had thought Ed and Millie would get on.
‘I’ll just go and check the rice,’ she said with a sparkly smile to show that she didn’t feel at all excluded.
‘Can I do anything to help?’ asked Millie.
If she said yes, Ed would go and join the others, but, on the other hand, Millie would know that was why. Perdita was much too proud to give Millie the slightest excuse to suggest that she might be jealous.
‘No, you stay here and entertain Ed,’ she said airily instead, but it was hard work keeping the smile pinned in place as she turned to go inside.
Millie watched Ed watch Perdita go and smiled to herself.
‘It’ll be a fantastic lunch, you wait,’ she said to him chattily. ‘Perdita is a really good cook.’
Ed transferred his attention back to Millie. ‘I get the sense that Perdita is good at a lot of things.’
‘I don’t know about that,’ said Millie, considering the matter honestly. ‘She’s hopeless at sport or any outdoorsy stuff and, although she’s efficient, she’s not actually very practical-she’s much too impatient. But what she does, she does with style,’ she finished with an affectionate smile.
‘Yes, I can imagine that,’ said Ed. ‘You obviously know her very well.’
‘We were at school together,’ Millie told him, ‘and we’ve been friends ever since. Perdita is the best person I know. She can be a bit prickly sometimes,’ she acknowledged fairly, ‘but you don’t want to take any notice of that. You won’t find a truer friend. I would never have got through my divorce without her. My kids have always adored her too. She never talked down to them, even when they were little, and, of course, she can be very funny, which they love.’
‘I’ve noticed that,’ said Ed with a smile. ‘Mine liked her too.’
‘Perdita always gives the impression that she’s on top of the world, but she hasn’t had that easy a time of it. Her mother’s a real worry now, and her brothers are completely useless, just leave everything to Perdita.’ Millie paused. ‘Has she told you about Nick yet?’
The grey eyes sharpened. ‘No.’
‘Ah.’ said Millie, and left it at that.
CHAPTER SEVEN
E D WATCHED Perdita moving in and out of the kitchen. Her dark hair swung glossily, her brown eyes were bright and that big, generous smile lit up the room. She was wearing jeans with a white shirt instead of her usual bold colours but she was still the most vivid person there. Everyone else looked faintly muted in comparison.
It was hard to believe now that he had found her brittle and faintly off-putting at first. Had he really disapproved of her? He had certainly tried, Ed remembered ruefully.
She was so different from Sue, whose loveliness had been utterly natural. Sue had been fair and fresh-faced with a sweet expression. For someone so pretty, she had had an extraordinary lack of vanity, Ed remembered affectionately. Sue’s attention had been lavished on the children rather than herself, and she would never have spent the money Perdita clearly did on clothes or the time on grooming.
Ed had always imagined that Sue was his model of a perfect woman. On the rare occasions when he’d thought about meeting someone new, he’d somehow assumed that he would be looking for someone like her. Perdita was everything Sue hadn’t been and yet…and yet…
He liked her. This flat was distinctively hers, Ed couldn’t help thinking as he looked around him. It exuded brightness and warmth and a stylish, quirky charm, the way she did.
He felt better just being here.
Of course, Perdita herself had made it pretty clear that she wasn’t interested in a serious relationship. She had told him outright that she just wanted fun, and she wasn’t likely to look to a middle-aged widower like him for that!
On the other hand…there had been an unmistakable crackle in the air between them at times. Ed could still remember that brief kiss they had shared by her car. It had been so tempting to kiss her lips, to see how she tasted, to discover if her mouth was as warm and generous as it looked, but at the last moment he had lost his nerve, had very properly touched his lips to her cheek instead.
He wished he hadn’t. He wished he had kissed her the way he had wanted to. But then, that might have made things awkward, Ed reflected. Perhaps it was for the best. He wouldn’t be here otherwise, on their first proper social outing since they had arrived in Ellsborough.
It wasn’t just the kids who had left friends behind in London, and they were finding it much easier to settle than he was. Not that everyone in Ellsborough hadn’t been pleasant, but when you were forty seven and had a houseful of teenagers and a new job to preoccupy you, it was hard to find the time to make new friends. Ed hadn’t appreciated how much he had missed having someone to talk to until Perdita had come round. It would be a shame to jeopardise that.
For now, he decided, he would try to forget about her fragrance and her mouth and the seductive swing of her hair, and concentrate on thinking of her as a friend. Perhaps that would be enough.
Perhaps.
It was one of the most successful parties that Perdita had ever had. They all squeezed round the table and had to eat with their elbows tucked into their sides. It wasn’t very refined but was much better fun than an elegantly laid repast would have been, and once it was clear that there was no option of lolling around looking bored or refusing to eat, the eight kids all got stuck in too. They seemed to have made instant connections amongst themselves, and Millie, Peter, Jane and Rick were clearly ready to include both Ed and Grace in their social circles. Everything was going exactly as Perdita had planned.
Yes, it was a great success. The food was delicious, the conversation animated and the sunshine pouring through the open window. Everyone was enjoying themselves.
Except Perdita.
It took her some time to realise the truth. There she was, surrounded by good friends, all laughing at one of Rick’s more outrageous stories. They had scraped the dish clean and polished off the last of the salad, and made her feel loved and appreciated.
Normally, Perdita would have been on sparkling form-probably showing off, she admitted to herself honestly-but today she felt…what?…a bit testy, she decided. She couldn’t help thinking that she would have enjoyed today more if there had been fewer people, just her and Ed, say, enjoying a quiet lunch on the balcony.
They could have sat close together-close enough to touch?-with a glass of cold wine and watched the river. And when Ed smiled he would have been smiling for her, not for Millie or Grace. She wouldn’t have felt testy at all then. She would have been…happy. It would have been quiet and peaceful and-
‘Ground control to Perdita! Come in, please!’ Millie waved a hand in front of Perdita’s face, making her start violently.
‘What? Sorry?’
‘You were miles away!’ said Millie, eyeing her curiously. ‘And you had a very funny look on your face. What on earth were you thinking about?’
Afraid that Millie might guess the truth, Perd
ita’s eyes slid away from her friend’s and found herself snared by Ed’s piercing grey gaze instead. He seemed to be able to look right inside her. Oh, God, what if he had guessed what she had been dreaming about? That would be a million times worse than Millie suspecting.
There was a constriction in her throat as she made herself look away. ‘Oh, nothing really,’ she said as vaguely as she could.
‘Listen, your mother’s fine,’ said Millie, apparently misunderstanding the reason for her abstraction. ‘You can ring her tonight to check that she’s OK, but if she’s capable of stubbornly refusing all help, she’s capable of managing by herself for a day.’
Perdita seized on the excuse. Good old Millie. Better by far that they all thought that she was fretting about her mother than dreaming about a man she had already decided wasn’t for her.
‘I know, I should stop worrying about her.’ She offered an apologetic smile round the table. ‘Sorry.’
‘We were just talking about the garden project, as you’d have known if you hadn’t been on Planet Perdita,’ said Millie. She assumed an air of mock self-importance. ‘My role,’ she said grandly, ‘has expanded already.’
‘But you haven’t even started working there yet!’
‘I know, but Ed and Grace think I should try my hand at fund-raising. I’ve already persuaded Peter to promise some sponsorship, haven’t I, Peter?’
‘Well, I don’t know that persuaded is the right word to use when my arm was twisted behind my back like that!’
Perdita laughed. It was time she engaged with the conversation instead of drifting off into silly, pointless dreams.
‘If I’d known you were going to turn into a ruthless career type, I would never have introduced you to Grace!’ she told Millie with a grin.
‘I’m very glad you did,’ said Grace. ‘Millie is going to be just what we need.’
‘It’s all right for her,’ Perdita pretended to grumble. ‘She gets to sit in a cushy office, while the Tom and I are out there doing the hard work with the spade!’
