“I feel like I am, yeah. I’m glad to be here for you all. I’m glad I can help you all and I think Sue would be happy I’m here for you guys.”
“She will be happy to hear you were here for us all. And I want you to know that we all appreciate the hell out of you, Girl,” he says then his lips touch mine for only a second.
The rush he always sends through me with his kiss goes all through me. And I can feel something extra. His eyes are hiding a secret. “Reed, would you like to tell me anything? Like maybe what you and Rod talked about?”
“He’d like another shot with you.” His eyes go dark. “And I feel like you should have the opportunity to make a choice. I kind of took you along with me very quickly when I got my greedy mitts on you. So we talked about letting you free for a little while. Letting you think about things and leaving you to pick one of us or move on from us both and finding another. We wanted to give you a shot at finding a man that’s not a Manning if you want that.”
His words should surprise me, but as I was holding both their hands I got the sense they had come to some kind of an agreement about me. And it seems I’m going to be set free of everything and everyone.
“You both want me, huh?” I ask.
He nods. “The deadline Rod and I agreed on is our wedding day. But that’s a little too late if you decide not to be with me. So how about three days before that date? I’ll give you a nice sum of money and get you set up anywhere you want to. Rod nor I will contact you but you’re free to contact us on your own or whoever you want. You’re really going to be free. No hard feelings on anything you decide. We both swear to take whatever it is you decide.”
“If I pick one or the other of you, the other will be hurt,” I say as I take his hand and run my fingers over the top of it.
“Yep,” is his very simple answer. “But we can deal with it. Your happiness is what’s important to us both.”
I can’t help but feel weird. “So, I have this pass in a way. I have your offer of marriage still on the table. Rod still wants me back. But what if I want to date a man, not a Manning man, to see what it’s like not to date a Manning? What if I have sex with this non-Manning man? You still want me to marry you if I decide he’s not the one for me and you are?”
Reed nods. “It’s more than complicated and I know that. If you want to talk to Rod and try things out with him then you can do that too and if it’s not what you want and you find you still love me, then I will take you back.”
I smile as these men are fooling themselves. “That isn’t how things will work. I know that. Both of you are possessive creatures. If I’m with either of you, the other will write me off. But with a few dates with another man I might be able to do to see if anyone can hold my attention the way both of you have.”
I watch Reed’s face go very solemn. “I don’t want to do this, Jenna. If it will hurt you I won’t allow it. I just don’t want to go into a marriage with you and build a family and one day you tell me you love Rod and our marriage is over. Take the time to think about what it is you want.”
What do I want?
I want Reed. I know I want Reed. But I want a life with Reed that doesn’t mean he and I both lose his family. So I say, “K. I’ll stay with you guys through this but go back to my parents for the nights. Then I think I can get a student teacher job in Tempe until the middle of May. And then I can make the decision. My final one.”
His mouth forms a half-smile. “I hope you pick me.”
I run my hand over his smooth cheek. “I love you, Reed.”
“I love you, Jenna Foster.” He takes my hand in his and holds it to his cheek. “And now, you are a free woman. Fly away and only come back to me when you know it’s me who you want.”
My heart feels so odd as I look into his love-filled eyes.
What the hell will I do as a free woman? And who will I end up with?
Chapter 32
REED
Two weeks since Mom’s surgery and I’m back in Bel-Air, alone.
Jenna went to Tempe and has already started a student teaching job. I set her up in a small apartment and gave her a new car. But told her not to think she has to pick me in order to keep them. The car is hers and so is the bank card I gave her to pay her bills.
I don’t want her to come back to me based on my money. But I do want her to come back to me.
I’ve slept very little without her in my bed. The nights pass by like molasses in the winter. And I miss her with every fiber of my being.
But on the bright side, my mother is doing very well in the rehab facility we have her in. Rod has found a job as a mechanic at a garage in Prescott and already has a small house rented.
Just before I left, we all had a nice day with Mom at the rehab center and she looked like she was happy having me and my brother back on good terms.
I have to admit Rod seems to be getting on the right path. I didn’t see any signs of him drinking or doing any drugs. And he maintained very good behavior where Jenna was concerned.
The two had their talk about what he wanted and she told me all about it and how she does have love for him in her heart. She’s taking this all very seriously and taking the time to be by herself and think things through.
If she picks either one of us, then that’s a forever commitment. A thing the three of us are well aware of.
With a bottle of wine in my hand, I walk up the staircase to the room I used to share with her and prey will share again. But I’m not fooling myself into thinking she will come back to me for sure.
As a matter of fact, I see Jenna moving on away from both Rod and me. I could see things in her eyes as she looked at us all, Mom and Dad included. A happiness was there but so was an underlying emotion of guilt.
I don’t know if she can get past the guilt of loving us both. Of being a rip in the middle of our family. She’s a good person and I don’t know if she’ll be able to hurt either of us by picking one of us.
She hasn’t contacted me or my brother at all since we both kissed her goodbye the same day of Mom’s surgery. Late that night after Mom was stabilized, and we were all able to visit her, Jenna got in a cab and left us behind her.
Jenna saw how happy Mom was and wanted it to end on that happy note. She felt her presence was a distraction. She also felt that Rod, and I needed to bond over the situation with our mother. If she was around she’d get in the way of that.
So we let her go that very night. We’ve had no contact with her other than making sure she had what she needed, which I did through her parents.
But my heart hurts and my body aches to hold her.
The time can’t pass by quick enough for me!
JENNA
Grading papers in the dim light of the small dining table in the apartment Reed rented me in Tempe, I sip on a glass of red wine to relax at the end of a long day. The kindergarteners were in full swing today and wore me out.
With a sip, I think about the proposition I had this afternoon in the school’s cafeteria. The principal, a man named, Steven Johnson, asked me out for Friday night.
I told him I’d think about it and get back to him by Wednesday. It’s Monday and I only have a couple of days to decide if that’s a thing I want to do.
In my jewelry box are both the engagement rings Rod and Reed each gave me and I look at them each and every day. Placing them one at a time on my finger to look at them and think about which man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Raise a family with.
And the truth is I know if I pick one of them the other will be hurt and I don’t want either of them hurt, but I also don’t want their family hurt.
So the idea of moving on from the Manning clan is forefront in my mind. And Steven Johnson may be the first step out of that world and into a new one.
But I’m not sure yet. I’ve been a Manning’s girlfriend since I was eighteen. Except for that two years when I was no one’s girlfriend.
There’s no easy choice. But if I had to make it righ
t now, I’d have to say that Reed still has the largest piece of my heart and I ache to hear his voice.
It’s him I miss the most!
The nights have been lonely. Much more so than ever before.
Ironically, it’s my complete love for Reed that has me contemplating picking a whole different man so Reed doesn’t lose his family because of me.
I love him so much I would let him go for him to have a happy life free of the family drama I’ve caused him so far.
But my God, I miss him!
ROD
Drinking a beer as I look up at the star-filled night sky after a hard day at work, I tip the bottle back and think of having Jenna back in my arms.
It was nice having her back in my life again. Seeing her and having her around even though it was only for one day before she left was the best I’ve felt since the night I left her a little over two years ago.
And when I kissed her goodbye I felt the old feelings flow back into me from the second our mouths met.
Her body melted into mine just like old times. Her tongue moved with mine like it always had. Her breathing went faster and her heart did too.
I know she felt something for me again. Now to find out if it can override what she feels for my brother.
Being the ass I can be at times, I peeked at Reed and her when he gave her his goodbye kiss. He gave us privacy for ours and I feel kind of crappy for doing it but it did give me some insight into what my chances are for Jenna picking me instead of him.
There was a significant amount of intimacy in their kiss. A lot of facial stroking by them both. A lot of deep sighs and many, many loving words were whispered by them both.
The reality is it made my chest hurt to know I’m coming between them when it seems they have a very deep connection. The thing is though she and I also have the deepest connection I’m capable of.
My brother has always been more in touch with his feelings so it doesn’t surprise me the two connect on a deeper level than she and I do. But it doesn’t make him the right choice for her.
I was her first love after all. I think Reed is her rebound love and while that can seem like a true love for a while, those are usually very intense and burn up quickly.
Not to mention Jenna and I have years of history and Reed and she have only months of it. He rushed to ask her to marry him only a week after they started seeing each other, from what Mom told me.
I think he found the need to rush things so when I came back I’d have no chance of rekindling what Jenna and I had. And that gives me hope he saw something in her which told him I could get her back if I tried hard enough.
Which I plan on doing. But since we did agree not to contact her, I have to wait and see if she’s even going to give me a chance to do that.
I gave her my number, and she knows Reed’s. She changed her phone number so neither of us has it. And I wonder how my brother is doing with all this.
So I pick up my phone to ask him. It rings a couple of times before he answers, “Is Mom okay?”
“Yes, she’s doing great. I saw her this evening after I got off work. I went to the rehab, and she was up doing some aerobics with a bunch of old ladies. She was wiggling her caboose when I left her.”
“Good. I didn’t call her today like I normally do. My mind was elsewhere,” he says.
“Jenna?” I ask.
“Yeah. I did something really dumb and took out the binder we made of the wedding plans. And it made me all lonesome for her. It also made me wonder about what I’ll do with all the things that are already paid for concerning the wedding if she doesn’t pick me. I came up with an idea, though.”
I take a drink of my beer then ask, “What did you come up with?”
“If she picks you then I’d like to let you two have the wedding we planned. Jenna really planned the whole thing. I just showed her the different things that are available. It’s her dream wedding. As such, I’d still give it to her even if it’s not with me. So I’m asking if you plan on marrying her if she picks you, Rod?”
“I do,” I say quickly. “I’ve planned on marrying that girl for three years now. I just got very sidetracked.”
“Then it’s settled. The wedding will go as scheduled if she picks either one of us. And if she picks some other man then you and I can have us a bad ass party with our family up here. It’s a win, win, win. Don’t you think?”
I think about it for a minute then laugh. “Reed, you’re something else, little bro. I don’t think I could do what you’ve done. You’d still give that girl her dream wedding even if it’s not with you. That’s very interesting.”
“Well, she deserves it. And I’ll accept whatever she decides to do. I’ll love her forever, of course. You can’t stop that when it’s gone on for so long,” he says.
“How long have you loved her, Reed?”
“Since she was a mere fourteen years old I have mooned over that girl.”
I take another drink. The fact is I didn’t know I loved her until I looked into her eyes after she told that cop not to take me in. I knew I wanted her. I knew I wanted something with her but love didn’t come into play until that day.
“Seems you do have a bit more of a longer love for her than I have. How did you stand it then when you saw her and I?” I ask him then take another long drink.
“What choice did I have? And honestly, the way you treated her, and she took it told me there was no reason to try to take her away from you. If she didn’t leave your ass after what all you pulled then me telling her my feelings for her wasn’t going to change her mind, anyway. She was loyal to your mean ass.”
I look up at the stars and blink back tears. “Yes, she was. And I repaid that loyalty by leaving her with no clue as to why. I left her not knowing if I was dead or alive. For two long years, I left her alone. And all the while you still didn’t have her and you paid for her college and gave her encouraging phone calls to keep her moving forward with her life.”
Reed laughs. “The way you put it, I sound kind of saintly. I’m not a saint, though. My reasons for not making an effort to get her where selfish. I knew in my heart if you showed back up, she’d leave me. But when I saw her hot ass in the grocery store that afternoon, well, I couldn’t help myself. I had to have her.”
I suck down the rest of the beer. “And you and she made quick plans to cement the deal and then I showed up and threw a kink in your plans. Dick move, I know.”
Reed sighs then says, “Talk about your dick moves, I fucking told Jenna I was marrying her after sleeping with her for the first time. I didn’t ask her to marry me. I told her we were getting married. I judged you for controlling her but I did the same damn thing. Only I left out the whips and chains.”
“She’s probably better off without us, little bro,” I say and pull another bottle out of the six pack on the ground by my feet.
“She probably is,” he agrees.
Maybe we should let her know that…
Chapter 33
JENNA
Putting on a pair of strappy sandals, I end my preparation for the first date I’ve ever had that wasn’t with a Manning.
I accepted Steven Johnson’s offer to take me to dinner and my heart is pounding in my chest with anxiety. The man is about to turn thirty. He’s five years older than me and very sure about what he wants for the future.
He’s been a grade school principal for two years and he’s looking to move into a higher job with the school system here in Tempe as the superintendent. So he’s got a plan, and that’s admirable.
Steven is easy on the eyes with dark hair he keeps cut short and he wears dark suits which I think is a bit overdressed for a grade school principal but I think he must be dressing for the success he’s aiming for.
A knock on my door has me nearly hyperventilating so I stop and take in a deep breath and say to myself, “Calm down! It’s just a date!”
But it’s a date I don’t really want to be going on. I want to be lying on our bed, w
rapped in Reed’s strong arms. That’s what I really want to be doing.
As I open the door, I see Steven Johnson wearing a nice black suit and tie and looking like he just left a high-powered business meeting. I stifle a laugh as Reed is a billionaire and only wears suits when he has too and he pulls them off way better than this man does.
“You look gorgeous,” he says as he steps inside. He holds up a bottle of wine. “I thought a drink before we head out would be nice. Where are your wine glasses?”
I step back as he’s too close to me. “Over there on the counter.”
He walks over and opens the wine and pours it into a couple of the glasses. “That color green of the dress you have on makes your pretty green eyes stand out. You have a real knack for fashion, Jenna. It’s what drew me to you. Well that and the fact you have a killer body and are sweet as they come.”
“Thank you,” I say and take the wine he hands me.
He takes my hand and pulls me with him to sit on the sofa. “So tell me your story, Jenna. I’m dying to know how you ended up working in my school.”
My brain nearly implodes. There’s no way I can tell him the truth so I say, “My family thought Tempe would be a good place to try student teaching. I’m not too far away from my hometown of Jerome.”
His arm moves over the back of the sofa and way to close to me. “And no man?”
Sure there’s a man or men should I say?
I shake my head. “No man.”
He takes a drink and looks at me with a knowing gaze. “I think there was one. Am I right?”
“Of course, I’ve had men in my life before.” I look away and take a drink and am really rethinking this dating thing. When you date someone you don’t know there’s so just much back-story to catch up on.
And my back-story comes out a little dirty and sinister. Not a thing I like to talk about.
I laugh inside my head as I think about telling this man that I started out with a man who liked to whip my ass and ended up with a man who liked to shower me with love and affection and it’s his car I’m driving and we’re sitting in the apartment he rented me. I’m wearing clothes his money bought me as well.
Shattered: A Billionaire Romance Series (Contemporary Romance Novels) Page 91
