by Vivian Arend
Jesse considered the strength Ashley’d displayed the day Daisy arrived. “Couldn’t give birth—damn straight.”
His dad ignored his comment, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the long strip of paper he’d been peeking at during the baby shower.
He looked at it for a moment before holding it to Jesse.
“You missed the end of my speech. I worked hard on this, so I’d like to give it to you. Don’t worry about it now, but I hope you read it later. I hope you think on it, and if you ever want to talk, my door is open.” He glanced up at the twinkling stars that were blinking into existence as the sky darkened and night fell. “We should get back to the ladies. They’re bound to have a late-night snack on the table—you probably could eat after chopping the equivalent of two men’s work.”
Then he refused to say anything more.
Jesse apologized to Dare when they entered the house, but she brushed it aside, curling up against him and offering a kiss in return. The swell of her stomach was there between them, Buckaroo moving in protest as their bodies connected briefly.
His mom and dad left not too much later. When he came back in the house after walking them out, Dare had disappeared into the washroom, the shower running.
Jesse sat at the kitchen table and pulled out Mike’s speech.
Words matter.
A man can buy a field and pay for cattle to live on it, but if that’s all he does, he’s not a rancher. A rancher—I’d make a list, but we all know how much work it takes to make the Coleman land our home. We know with every bone in our aching bodies, at times. Day after day, month after month, year after year. It’s work that makes the difference.
A farmer’s not someone who dumped a bucket of grain in a field then walked away. A man’s not a husband because he said “I do” one fine Saturday afternoon then never saw his wife again.
A man is a father because he planted a seed. He’s a daddy because of everything else he does.
Don’t be a father to your children—be a daddy.
Jesse sat in the quiet darkness and let the words sink in. Or more like, he sat there, unable to move. He felt as if he’d been flattened with a heavy rock. His heart pounded and his ears rang, and if he moved too fast he might just fall over.
His dad was so fucking right—no surprise there.
Jesse shoved to his feet and marched into the bedroom in time to see one of his T-shirts fall into place over an otherwise naked woman.
Dare had a hand over her mouth, yawning, as she turned to face him. “Hey. I’m sorry I didn’t wait. I’m so ready to crash, but I want to talk too.”
Jesse pulled the edge of the quilt down and gestured her in. “We can talk in here. I’ll be one sec.”
He hurried, stripping to his briefs and returning as quick as he could after getting ready for bed. Crawling between the covers and reaching for her.
Dare turned toward him, stroking a hand through his hair. “You okay?”
“Maybe.” He took the time to breathe in her scent, all warm and soft and growing more familiar by the day. “Sorry for taking off on you.”
“It’s okay, really.” Her eyes were huge. “Talk to me.”
So much was going through his head at that moment, and some of it he was just starting to get a handle on himself. He wasn’t sure he wanted to even try to voice what he was feeling.
But one thing he could admit. One thing that he wanted her to know. “I don’t regret that we’re here. It took a little while for everything to sink in, but I do want what’s best for the baby.”
“I know you do.” She was all but petting him, fingers twirling in his hair. “I mean that. Maybe you can’t see it, but I can.”
He took a deep breath. “I want to feel proud when Buckaroo arrives.”
Dare frowned.
“You know that expression Blake gets when his girls crowd around him? Or the way that Matt’s face damn near glows when he holds Colt. Hell, I want to look at Buckaroo the way my dad looks at us, his grown-up sons, or at least the way he looks at us when we’re not acting like asses. Like he’s shocked and amused and astonished all at the same time.”
“You don’t think you’re going to look like that?”
He hesitated. “I’m not sure. I don’t think so.”
She nodded slowly. “Okay.”
Silence stretched between them for a moment before Dare spoke again.
“I don’t think it’s my place to tell you how you should feel, so I’m not going to. But can I suggest that maybe you’re a little too close to the situation, and it’s making it hard to see the truth?”
More cryptic comments. Jesse chuckled. “I need to pin a note to my chest that says, Homegrown Cowboy: please use small words.”
Dare pressed her lips against his and kissed him softly. “Small words? Here you go. Tomorrow is another day. Now, cuddle me.”
She awkwardly rolled and curled herself up against him.
“See, that I understood,” he teased, pulling her hips more firmly against him before resting a hand on where Buckaroo was hiding out.
He fell asleep with a million thoughts racing through his mind, and the baby’s motions bumping his palm.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Text messages, February 8th, ten plus years ago
Dare: you guys on the road already?
Mom: heading out in five if your father and Walter can stop gossiping with the hotel owner
Dare: ha. Good luck on that
Mom: I know, but they’re having too much fun to interrupt. Anyway, we should be back by lunch. Don’t bother making anything in case we’re late
Dare: okay. I’ll see you when you get home
Mom: try to be dressed by then, k?
Dare: pyjamas are perfectly fine Saturday pants
Mom: lol. Sure they are. Love you, sweetie
Dare: love you too
…
Dare: you guys get lost or something?
…
Dare: Mom, where are you?
…
Dare: Mom?
Jesse cursed his lousy timing. Of all the days for him to be on horseback out in one of the more remote sections of the ranch. He glanced over his shoulder at the thick black clouds roiling in the sky like some over-the-top special effects in an apocalyptic movie.
He guided Danger a little farther from the trees, trying to judge the correct distance so the forest would act as a wind block, yet they’d be out of reach of the branches being torn free and hurled toward the open field.
The wind had grown stiff enough it whipped through the crown land beside him. Eerie sounds whistled through the branches as if there were monsters hiding nearby, waiting for their opportunity to jump out. Bitter chill carried on the air, and another swear escaped as Jesse noticed a growing layer of white clinging to the ground.
It was fucking snowing. Barely the beginning of October—it wasn’t supposed to snow yet.
He dragged his coat around him tighter, turning up the collar and hunching his shoulders to get out of the wind.
“Sorry, guys,” he apologized to his horse and dog. “This was supposed to be a nice relaxing job.”
Danger had his head down, tilted away from the wind as Jesse guided him on the safest route back to the horse trailer. Morgan wasn’t very happy about the weather, either. Instead of running ahead with joyous glee like he had at the start of the day, he was tucked in close, moving strategically to use Danger as a wind block.
By the time they made it back to where his truck was parked, Jesse was chilled to the core. Danger went willingly into the trailer, eager to hide from the stormy weather.
Jesse rubbed Morgan down before letting him into the cab of the truck instead of ordering him into the back of the truck. “Just this once,” he said. “It’s not fit out there for man or beast.”
With the heaters blasting, it still took thirty minutes for the inside of the cab to get warm enough that Jesse could take a deep breath, his gaze fixed on the ro
ad to make sure he didn’t end up in a ditch. Every gust of wind picked up snow and flung it across his windshield, damn near creating a whiteout.
What had taken an hour to drive that morning took three to get home.
The instant he stopped in the yard and opened the truck door, Morgan took off at a run for the protection of the porch. Jesse led Danger into the horse shelter at the rental house, offering soothing words as the wind threw itself at the building hard enough to rattle the roof.
He had the saddle off and was reaching for the blanket when the door opened behind him. The wind grabbed it, slamming it against the solid wood of the barn.
Then Dare was there, rushing forward to grab hold of his shirt and shake him. “You…”
She was vibrating, eyes wild. Jesse wrapped his fingers around her wrists and attempted to pull her free, but she clutched him tighter, pressing her face against his chest and clinging as if she would never let go.
“Dare, what’s wrong?” He laid a hand on the Buckaroo bump. “Everything okay?”
A second later she’d released him only to slide her icy cold hands up and link them around his neck. She pulled hard, jerking him toward her until she could catch his mouth with hers. Kissing him violently, fire and passion and fear in her movements.
She’d been scared—that much was clear.
Jesse reached down to pick her up, kissing her in return. Promising assurances even while stoking the fire that constantly burned between them. He walked to the side of the shelter where there were stacked hay bales, settling her on a blanket. Then he reached up and cupped her face in his hands, slowing the connection between them. Kissing deeper before pulling back to stare into her liquid-filled eyes. “Hey. I’m okay. Everything okay with you and Buckaroo?”
She nodded, then shook her head. “The baby’s fine.”
Her voice was ragged and pain-filled. He stroked her cheek. “But you’re not fine.”
Dare blinked, and a single tear rolled down her cheek. “The storm.”
That’s all she said, but her words were punctuated by a roar from nature, the walls of the barn shaking around them. She cringed, eyes closing tight as she hid herself against him again.
Something twisted inside Jesse. He pushed her knees apart so he could step in tighter, wrapping her in his arms until he could press their bodies together as close as possible with her belly.
He swore when he discovered she was nearly as icy as he was.
“What the hell have you been doing to get so cold?” he scolded, rubbing her back, trying to get heat into her torso.
Dare shook her head from side to side. “Waiting on the porch.”
“Jeez. I’m sorry I’m late. The roads were a mess.”
She shivered hard enough to nearly break them apart.
Then instead of clinging to him, she was touching him more intimately. Hands slipping around so she could scratch her nails down his back. Feet hooked around his thighs. He didn’t want to be getting turned on, but there was no way to resist the temptation of Dare in full seduction mode.
Because that’s what she was doing. With her fingers driven into the back of his hair, she tugged him toward her neck. Pulling apart her shirt until her bare breasts were visible. Their heavy weight pressed against him briefly before she rocked back and jerked his shirt free from his jeans.
“Dammit, Dare. Let’s go inside. You can ravish me there.”
She wasn’t listening. What she was doing was rubbing her palm over his dick with deliberate intention. He would’ve had to be dead to not react. When she popped open his zipper, he ignored the twinge of guilt that said they were fools for doing this in the cold air of the unheated barn. The rafters shook, wind whistling through the cracks as she all but ordered him to take her nipple into his mouth.
A sound escaped her, but this time it was sexual instead of fear, and that’s when he decided to hell with it. This was what she wanted. For whatever reason, here and now, she needed him?
Not a fucking problem.
Only he took control. Shifting her hands behind her so that she leaned back enough he could reach both her breasts more easily. Gazing down at her, his mouth watering. “Right here?”
“Yes.”
No hesitation, so he gave none either. Instead he moved in and nipped lightly, and she cursed.
Jesse licked an apology before murmuring against her skin. “Sensitive?”
“Yes. Now, shut up and fuck me already.”
He had his hands on the back of her pants, stripping the material away with great appreciation for the extra elastic in the waistline. Meant he didn’t have to move her far to drag everything off her and leave her bare from the waist down, her shirt hanging open.
She wanted this, and he had no intention of taking his time. It was too damn cold out to linger.
He slipped his fingers over her sex, going straight to her clit. Circling with increasing pressure as he moved up and kissed her, her breasts and belly in contact with him as he got her ready.
She stretched against him, lifting her lips from his. “I need you inside me.”
He tested her wetness, shocked to find she was ready. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Dare shook her head as he backed off just far enough to release his cock. “Please.”
It was the work of a moment to line up with her opening and gently slide in. She’d replaced her hands on the blanket, leaning back so that the only connection between them was the intimate glide of his cock into her passage.
Jesse gripped her hips, watching as his length disappeared over and over. Slowly at first, but as she moaned her approval, something else took control from him. The storm mixed with their lovemaking to create another layer of sound and motion.
He glanced up at her face.
He’d expected to find her eyes closed as she concentrated on finding pleasure, but instead she was staring at him. Her lips were slightly in an O, but her eyes were fixed on his. The emotion written there—fear had been washed away by sexual pleasure leaving something less readable.
Whatever she felt, Jesse felt privileged to be a part of it. To witness it, and make it appear there. She was so damn beautiful.
He was turned on like crazy. Everything about this woman made him want more. He caressed her hips as he slowed the pace just enough to allow him room to touch her clit.
That’s all it took.
“Jesse.” A whispered benediction.
A second later he joined her. Stilling his hips against hers so he could enjoy the tight squeeze of her body around him. Mind-blowing pleasure.
He could’ve stayed there for longer except it was damn cold. “We’re going inside right now,” he ordered, as he pulled free then helped put her pants back into place.
Jesse wrapped her up in the blanket and guided her across the yard and up the porch stairs to the house. As they passed him, tucked into his protected spot out of the wind, Morgan’s tail thumped in greeting against the thick pillow that was his bed. He raised his head from the oversized bone he was gnawing on for long enough to bump his nose against Dare’s leg, and she bent to caress his head.
She was clearly in love with his dog, Jesse realized. Before rushing out to the barn she’d taken the time to give Morgan a welcome-home treat.
Now it was Jesse’s turn to take care of her. Inside the door he pointed down the hall. “Hot shower. I’ll be back after I take care of Danger. We’ll have a drink and talk.”
Dare nodded, not meeting his eyes.
“Hey.” He pressed his fingers over her cheek. “I’ll be right back. I promise.”
He worked quickly, needing to be with Dare, but refusing to leave his animal uncared for after the hellish ride Danger’d been through.
Soon as he could, though, Jesse was back in the house to discover Dare all wrapped up in an oversized robe, fuzzy slippers on her feet, making cups of tea for them.
The smile she offered this time was far more real. “I’m okay. Go have a shower and warm up y
ourself. Then we’ll talk.”
As much as the shower had helped, the water had only washed away the surface cold. Maybe it didn’t make any sense, but Dare knew exactly what had driven the ice from inside her heart.
Making love with Jesse.
She grabbed the fixings for grilled cheese sandwiches and got them cooking while Jesse showered and dressed. Putting food on the table was a nice distraction from letting her mind linger on what had been haunting her since the early afternoon.
From the moment the first snowflakes began to fall and the sky clouded over, an inkling of fear had strolled in like it owned her ass. It’d been a long time since the nightmares had been so real, but she’d been attempting to nap on the couch when the storm started in earnest, and somehow the wind and blowing had just been enough to take her back in time.
In spite of being warm through and through, another shiver struck.
Jesse was there, rubbing his hands down her arms and pressing a kiss to the side of her neck. “Let me take over. You go wrap yourself up again.”
She shook her head, “I’m okay, really I am. Get yourself a drink, and I’ll have the sandwiches ready in a minute.”
He kissed her again before taking off to follow her instructions, topping up her cup of tea before settling into a chair at the kitchen table.
She slid a full plate in front of him, then pulled her chair so she could sit beside him.
Jesse laughed softly. “Good thing I know how to eat one-handed.”
He squeezed her fingers.
She hadn’t even been aware she’d grabbed hold of him. Whatever. She wasn’t going to apologize for it. “I’m glad you made it back safe.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” he insisted. “I just didn’t want to take any chances.”
Oh boy. “That’s good. No chances is goodness.”
He leaned forward and looked up into her face. “What happened? I didn’t know you were scared of storms.”
“I’m not,” she insisted. “It’s stupid, because it’s not even like there’s any real connection…”
