by Vivian Arend
In spite of being rightfully upset, Joel had made a deliberate choice to continue to love him. Even though Jesse had all but slammed the door in his face, his brother had left space in his life for Jesse’s return.
It wasn’t about considering which path was right for him, but which path was right for him and the people around him. Everyone he cared about.
The idea was humbling, and awe-inspiring, and more than a little like a very heavy two-by-four being expertly applied to Jesse’s stubborn-ass ways.
The apology he’d offered months ago had been real, but nowhere near enough. He knew that now.
He also knew he was up a creek without a paddle, and the only way he was getting out of this was with a heck of a lot of help. Dare had that same kind of sacrificial giving heart. Since the moment he met her she’d been there for him, and believed in him—
But right now he needed to focus on Joel. On finally making everything between them right.
Jesse cleared his throat. “I need to tell you something. Back when you and Vicki started dating, and I got all judgmental. I didn’t do it to be malicious. I thought I knew better than you what was going on. I was trying to protect you, and misjudging Vicki. And misjudging you, because I was the stupid one, not you. You were moving on, and I was trying to stay in control.” He stepped in front of his brother. “There’re no words that can change what I’ve done. I wish—”
Joel slapped a hand on his shoulder. “That’s not the direction we’re looking anymore, remember?”
Right, but still…he needed to actually fucking say it.
“Joel, I’m sorry. For the things I did that drove a wedge between us. You did nothing wrong. Nothing, this is all on me, and okay,” he hurried to finish because Joel was lifting his fists as if to forcibly shut him up. “I’m looking forward now, and what I’m saying to you is—I’ll be there for you. I don’t know what that will look like, and hell, I expect I’ll screw up again, but never again will I cut you off because at least I know better.”
Joel’s face twisted for a moment before he frowned. “You damn ass.”
The words came out choked, and suddenly Jesse wasn’t breathing too easily either. His throat seemed to be closing up, and his eyes were watering.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Stupid dust.”
Joel snorted—this kind of squeaking noise between amusement and tears, and fuck if it wasn’t just enough to toss Jesse’s control into the wind.
He caught his brother in a bear hug and squeezed him tight. It seemed the only way to stop from breaking down and crying like a baby.
Joel held him tightly, one hand patting him on the shoulder. It wasn’t gentle—more as if his brother was trying to pound some sense into his feeble brain.
Jesse didn’t care that it was borderline painful, because it was Joel—hell, if his brother wanted to run him over a few times with the John Deere, he’d willingly toss himself to the ground and wait.
When they broke apart Joel was grinning. “You want to check out your house?”
“Hell, yeah.” He followed Joel on the well-worn path toward the front door. “I still can’t believe you guys would start building this house when you didn’t even know where I was.”
“Rafe did tell us you were in Alberta and that he was keeping in touch with you. He didn’t tell us much more, even when we threatened to mess up his pretty face.”
Which was what Jesse had figured. “I’m glad you knew that much.”
“Hey, as mad as I was about you taking off, you found Dare when you went AWOL. Can’t complain about that.”
“She’s the best thing that’s ever happened—”
Jesse stopped. One step away from entering the house that he hadn’t deserved but had gotten anyway. “Fucking hell, I’m a fool.”
She was another thing he hadn’t deserved but had gotten anyway. Her, and Buckaroo.
“Jesse?”
He glanced up at Joel. “I’m in love with her.”
Joel laughed. “You’re just figuring that out now?”
“Yeah.” He’d been clueless, but in this case he didn’t mind so much. Something about having finally come to his senses created this wonderful sensation. He wasn’t going to regret he had taken this long to figure it out, because holy fucking hell, he was in love.
There was nothing more to think about.
Wait, there was more to think about. How was he supposed to go about telling Dare?
He turned on the spot and slammed smack into Joel who was standing there with a stupid grin on his face.
“I need to go find her,” Jesse insisted, attempting to push past his brother. “I need to tell her.”
Joel didn’t move. “It is so amusing to watch you turn into a love-struck fool.”
“You’re in my way,” Jesse warned.
Joel raised a brow. “I thought you were going to look through the house.”
Suddenly Jesse didn’t know which way to turn. He wanted to look at the house, but he needed to tell Dare that he loved her. Hell, he wanted to go find Dare so he could tell her about the incredible, unbelievable house, and so he could tell her he loved her.
“Your feet stuck to the ground?” Joel teased.
Jesse whirled toward his voice and nearly tipped over, he was so out of control and discombobulated. His brother was a dozen paces away on the path leading back toward the horses.
“Where are you going?” An out-of-the-blue thought struck. “Oh my God, what if Dare doesn’t love me? Wait, that’s stupid. Of course she loves me, but if she doesn’t, I’m going to find a way and make her fall in love with me, because this is crazy, and there’s no way that—”
A laugh escaped Joel. Soft at first, then with rising volume and enthusiasm until he was shaking his head and nearly crying. It was contagious, and Jesse caught himself grinning as well.
“So. You’re in love, are you?” Joel patted him on the shoulder when they finally pulled themselves back under control.
“I think so. If wanting to act like the world’s biggest dork, and do anything I can to make her smile means I’m in love. Also, I want to step in and protect her from anything that could remotely hurt her.”
Joel nodded, walking at his side back to the horses, his arm strong and supportive around him. “Sounds like love to me. Now, what are you going to do about it?”
Jesse was ready to shout it to the mountains. “I’ll make it up as I go along.”
His twin laughed. “Now that sounds like the Jesse I’ve always known.”
She spent the first ten minutes after Jesse left kicking her own butt for being cranky.
It had to be hormones. Stupid freaking pregnancy hormones.
Guilt slipped in, and she had to admit the truth.
She patted Buckaroo fondly, even though by this point the enormous bubble in front of her seemed more determined to get in her way than cooperate. “Mama is sorry she’s in a bad mood. I need to tell your daddy something important, but I keep chickening out. You need to learn from my mistake. It’s important to always be brave.”
She wasn’t the fastest home decorator at the moment, and she had wonderful plans Jesse had nearly spoiled by refusing to get out of her hair. But he was right, there were some things she just couldn’t deal with on her own.
While she waited for her help to arrive, she pulled the pile of pictures and wall hangings out of the closet where Vicki had stashed them for her a couple of days earlier.
An hour later the bedsheets were in the dryer, the pictures were all hung, and she popped her feet up on the coffee table and closed her eyes for a few minutes.
The rest time was perfect because she had energy again when the doorbell rang. She awkwardly pulled herself to her feet, thrilled to see a delivery van outside.
“Right on time,” she offered as she swung the door open.
Jesse’s brother Daniel stood on the doorstep, workmen behind him carrying parts for a new bedframe and mattress.
Daniel offered an enormous hug, caref
Once they’d moved out of the way, the men took over. Daniel escorted her back to the kitchen where he insisted she sit down while he brought her a drink and slid a second chair closer so she could prop up her feet.
“You’re just as bad as the rest of them,” she complained. “I’m not breakable.”
“No, you’re not,” he agreed. “But if you think I’m not going to treat you extra careful right now, you haven’t spent enough time around my ma and dad yet.”
She would give him that much. “Mike and Marion have made quite an impression on me. They did a good job raising you boys.”
Daniel was the brother she’d spent the least amount of time around, but she liked him. Dare admired that he’d picked his own path, even though his woodworking was different from what the rest of his family loved.
He offered a smile. “They’re still doing a good job, even when they’re not handing out advice. You wouldn’t believe the number of times I’ve caught myself asking, What would Mike do? He’s got big boots for us to try and fill.”
“Well, from what I’ve seen whenever your sons have been around, you’re doing a great job.”
Jesse’s brother grinned harder. “I hope so. Beth has a lot to do with it as well. She’s pretty damn amazing.”
They visited until the workmen announced everything was set up and then Daniel gave her a farewell hug. “Bring Jesse over on Saturday night. The boys want to teach him some new game, and Beth has some fun things put aside for you to peek at for your blog.”
Then she was alone again, hurrying to get everything done before Jesse showed up. She cranked up the music and sang along as she settled into a comfortable groove, making beds and fluffing pillows.
She was even good and avoided dragging furniture around.
Well, she was mostly good, just wiggling one dresser until it rocked itself into the spot she needed it.
By the time Jesse returned, she’d had time to make up the bed and arrange some extra decorations. The guest room looked shiny as well, ready for when her family from Heart Falls stopped by.
Now she had other plans for the rest of this day.
Jesse shot into the room as if he were jet-propelled.
She looked him over carefully. “How many cups of coffee did you and Joel have today?” she asked with a laugh.
He turned his gaze on her, and like a predator with its game in sight, stalked closer. “Just one.”
Whatever had come over him, she had zero objections. Jesse’s fingers cradled the back of her head, his fingers tightened on her hair and he adjusted the tilt of her head until her mouth was within easy reach.
The kiss he laid on her was scalding hot.
His other hand dropped to her lower back, supporting her as he kissed her until she was breathless. Pulling away just far enough to stare into her eyes, the beautiful blue reflecting there mesmerizing her.
“Well, hello,” she murmured happily, wondering what had put this kind of energy into his entire body.
“Did you have a good day while I was gone?”
He brought her to vertical and she nodded. “There’s a surprise for you in the bedroom.”
Instantaneous grin.
Dare rolled her eyes. “I’m not talking about sex. Well, I could be talking about sex, but that’s not the surprise.”
Jesse slipped his fingers through hers, walking slowly down the hall at her side. “Right. The decorating.”
He stole a glance into the room that had been set up as a nursery, his mom and Jaxi and Vicki and all the girls coming over to get it ready a week ago. A flannel quilt made of dozens and dozens of squares hung over the edge of the crib—the one the family had started the day Dare went into the hospital. His fingers squeezed hers for a moment before he moved on to the guest room.
He paused in the doorway. Dare looked at it with new eyes, smiling at the little things that had been brought from the cottage down at Silver Stone.
“It looks great, but where did you get the bed?” he asked.
“It’s the old bed. I bought a new one for the master bedroom.”
He looked damn impressed. “Nice.”
Dare nodded. “You know, this is the first time in my life I’ve ever bought a bed. Is that stupid?”
Jesse shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never bought a bed before, either.”
Amusement returned. “Seriously? Jeez, what a slacker.”
He pulled her into the guest room and took a leisurely stroll around, laughing as he glanced at the poster on the wall. “Cowboys are like guns. If you keep one around long enough, you’re going to want to shoot it.”
“Truth in advertising,” she said.
He took his time and was properly appreciative, but she was eager for him to get to the main event.
His response entering the master bedroom was worth the effort. “Holy shit. This is gorgeous, Dare.”
The bed was a four-poster, with solid wooden beams for corners. Queen-size, which meant she didn’t have to be farther away from him than necessary. Not that she’d told him that yet, damn her ass.
“Daniel and his boys made the bed. The quilt is from Hope’s stash.” Dare stepped forward and pointed to a pair of pictures on the wall. “Your mom and dad gave me this, and I got Caleb to send me the other one.”
Two pictures, aerial shots. Six Pack and Silver Stone, beautiful pastoral scenes with the mountains in the distance. Different, unique and yet distinctly home in her heart.
He examined them closely, happiness written all over his face. “I love them. Thank you for doing this up so beautifully.”
His gaze fell on another poster that she’d placed on the wall opposite the bed. He didn’t say anything, not for a few minutes before turning back to her, a smile on his lips. “Is that true?”
“The saying on the plaque? Definitely.”
My heroes have always been cowboys.
She’d seen the phrase in a magazine, and now the bold proclamation hung there in a spot where she’d see it every day.
Jesse nodded firmly.
Then he took her hand as they continued the tour, moving to the bedside. He ran a hand over the quilt before pressing on the mattress, glancing back at her slyly. “Seems firm enough.”
The next thing she knew she was seated on the bed, Jesse leaning over her, one hand planted on the mattress on either side of her hips. “Do you like it?” she asked.
“I like lots of things. You might need to be a little more specific.”
She wiggled backward, thrilled when he joined her. “The bedroom.”
“Our bedroom.”
It wasn’t a question. Plus, his entire intonation was different than the casual way he’d said that phrase before.
Dare’s heart gave a little kick. “Ours?”
He nodded before reaching for her. “I’ve been thinking about something you said once. Funny how it stuck in my mind, but there’s a certain complaint I need to correct.”
Totally distracted. That’s what she was. He’d lifted her hand to his mouth and was nibbling on her fingertips. “You forgot to eat lunch? You need a snack…”
“You like peanut butter on celery but don’t like raisins on top, which is really odd considering it’s called ants on a log for a reason, and you like raisins in everything else. Including cookies, which I forgive you for because you add enough chocolate chips to hide them.”
She couldn’t help it. A giggle escaped as he kissed her little finger then moved to the next.
“You drink pop with ice, water without ice, and milk straight from the container—and don’t say you never, because I’ve caught you. Twice.”
“Guilty,” she admitted, wondering what was going on, but happy to let it unfold as he gave her another kiss, this time sucking the tip of her ring finger into his mouth before pulling away.
Dare relaxed back on the bed as he moved intently through her next two fingers and thumb.
“You like wearing pale sunshine colours, or browns and blues, but your first pick for house stuff is all bright colours. When you’re working on a blog entry that’s not quite right you wander around in a daze. Sometimes you get thinking so hard you stop and don’t move for ages. You’re wickedly loyal to friends and family, but you don’t put up with bullshit from them just because they’re yours.”
He paused to undo the row of buttons at the front of her blouse.
“Not that I’m complaining.” Dare offered with a sigh of pleasure as he stroked the skin he exposed, his big palm sliding along her ribs. “But what’re you doing?”
“Fixing a mistake.”
He lifted her up just far enough to undo her bra, and somehow a minute after that she was down to nothing but her undies. “Hmm. I would have called it Stripping Dare, but you go on and do your thing.”
Jesse picked up her foot and rubbed along her arch, and she just about melted into a puddle. “Your sex noises—my god, you make them all the time. Every fucking time I get hard, which is a real pain when we’re at the dinner table with my family and you’re damn near orgasming over the dessert.”
She laughed, then groaned as he kissed her toe. “Oops?”
“You smell like heaven—half the time it’s because you’ve got on some herbal thing Ginny concocted, and half the time it’s because you spent hours outdoors in spite of hauling this precious burden around with you.”
He caressed a hand over her belly, the expression in his eyes one of adoration. He might think he didn’t have the look, but he totally did.
Something inside her crumbled to a messy pile of love-struck mush. “Jesse.”
One sweep of his hand later she was naked, and then he was too, pulling her into his lap and looking over her with awe on his face. “When we reconnected, you said what I knew about you I could list on one hand, and you were right.”
Memory like a steel trap. “I guess.”
Jesse laid her hand on his chest then covered it with his own. “I know lots more now. I know where your ticklish spots are, and where to rub to make you relax, or make you really turned on.”
His hands slid over her in sweeping caresses. Brief touches that were heating her up and proving his point. Making her want him even more than she already did.
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