I went to find Noah.
He was with my mom, running riot, as usual, tapping away on the chairs and tables with the gavel Dad had used for the charity auction earlier that day. I picked him up. “Come on, Little Man,” I said. “You’re going to hurt someone.”
He gave me the wooden hammer and I put it down on a table. Then he looked around as if searching for someone. “Where’s Rachel? I want to go riding on Bonnie again.”
“She’s not here,” I said. “She went to do something.”
“So, let’s go find her,” he said, wriggling in my grasp, trying to get back onto the ground, but I held him firmly.
“You can see her later. Right now, she’s busy.”
Noah could see my eyes were serious, and he didn’t try to break free again. Instead, he sighed. He looked tired. He’d been running around all day, and I think both he and Mom were completely exhausted.
“I’ll take him back to the house,” I said. “I’ll try to see if he’ll go down for a nap.” Mom seemed relieved and quite happy to spend a little time alone with my Dad and her friends without having her grandson underfoot. I quickly slipped away and put him in the car I’d asked Alastair to bring.
“Where’s Rachel, Daddy. I want her to come with us.” At this, my son’s bottom lip came out and his eyes filled with tears. “I want Rachel,” he said. “I want her to ride with us again.”
I smoothed his hair. “She’s busy, Champ,” I said. “Come on. Let’s get you home. We can watch TV for a little while and then maybe take a little nap. You’ve been up since early this morning.”
Thick, warm tears coursed down his face and I wiped them away with a Kleenex I took from the glovebox. It made me so sad to see him like this, even though I knew most of it came from being tired.
I felt a weariness suddenly wash over me as well. “I know how you feel, Son,” I wanted to say to him. “I suddenly don’t feel all that great, either.”
Noah fell asleep not far into one of his favorite movies, and I laid him down on the sofa and placed a cushion underneath his head. Despite the heat outside, it was cool indoors, so I covered him with a light blanket. Then I went next door into my study, leaving the door ajar in case he woke up and wondered where I was. I opened my laptop and tried to work through some emails.
But I couldn’t concentrate. No matter how much I wanted to dispel the image of Rachel walking away from me, holding on to the arm of another man, I couldn’t. My mind raced with images of the two of them, back in the apartment, doing the kinds of things that Rachel wasn’t supposed to be doing with anyone else but me.
Would she be that stupid, knowing what kind of man he was?
Fuck!
I felt frustrated, but I was damn well not going to run after her and tell her what to do. But it was hard to ignore the fire that burned inside me, a desperate desire to do just that, but I couldn’t.
Goddammit. What was wrong with me? Nobody ever denied me anything. If I wanted something, I damn well took it. But now, thinking about Rachel, I knew that it wasn’t all that simple. She knew her own mind far too well. She needed to make her own decision. She was an intelligent woman, after all.
It just pissed me off that she followed him so readily, leaving me standing there without even so much as a see-ya-later-chump.
There was a knock at the door and when I glanced up, I saw Tom standing there, still in his riding gear. There was a long green stain on one thigh from when he’d jumped off the horse and playfully slid on the grass in triumph at winning the final polo match.
“Hey,” he said brightly as he walked in. “What are you doing here?”
“Noah was a little tired, so I brought him home for a nap,” I replied. “Why aren’t you still back up there?”
Sitting down in front of my desk, he reached for a bottle of gin and poured himself a glass. “Well, to be honest, I came to see you,” he said.
“Me? Why?”
“To see if you’re okay after what happened. I was coming over to show you the trophy when I saw Don Juan walk away with Rachel.”
“Oh, right.” I shifted in my chair and shrugged as though it meant nothing at all. “I don’t think he walked away with her, exactly. It’s her ex, and he’s flown all the way from Spain to see her.”
“And you let her go, just like that? Jeez, I didn’t know you were such an amateur.”
I sat back in my chair and folded my arms. “I beg your pardon?”
“Come on, man. Everyone can see you’re crazy about her. And it’s clear that she feels the same way about you.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. But Tom grinned and shook his head. “I knew what you were up to when you asked her to take on the contract for Skyline. I’m not that dense. Look, I get it. I’m a sucker for a pretty face and a hot body, it’s true. But there are two things you need to know about me. One is that I’m hopelessly in love with Sienna, and that’s not going to change anytime soon. And the other is that I know you. So, Alex, take a little advice from your younger brother. It’s time to put the past where it belongs and think about your own happiness, for once. God knows, you deserve it.”
I didn’t know what to say, but Tom clearly did. He leaned forward and continued speaking to me as though I was the younger brother and he the elder.
“Just admit it. You’re in love with her. I can tell. She’s gotten under your skin.”
“You’re wrong. I hardly know her.”
“Bullshit. She’s not a stranger to us. Even if we weren’t childhood friends, we know enough to know exactly what kind of person she is. And another thing. I’ve never seen you spend that much time with any contractor on any project, ever; and there have been many.”
I couldn’t argue with what he’d just said, so I didn’t.
“Look, all I’m saying is that since Amy passed, I’ve never seen you happier. I’ve even heard that you had Rachel over to the house once or twice. Now that’s a first. You’ve never even allowed anyone near Noah, for that matter. So, remind me again why you’re sitting here instead of fighting for her?”
“It’s not as easy as that. We’re not kids. She’s a grown woman.”
Tom nodded. “She is. But I’ve known you all my life, brother, and I’ve never seen a woman have an effect on you like she has. Not ever.”
“You’ve hardly been around since Rachel’s been here,” I said. “And how would you know if I spent time with her at work, now that I come to think about it? You’re never there, either”
“Well, I guess Jennifer’s not told you about all the times I’ve called your office, only to hear that you were ‘in a meeting with Ms. Evans,’ or that you’d ‘gone to Skyline with Ms. Evans,’ and that I should try calling your cell if I wanted to talk to you. And why on earth would you allow her to drive your Jeep when you won’t let anyone else anywhere near it, including your own brother.”
“You’re a terrible driver.”
“And you’re terrible at being honest with yourself.”
“What am I supposed to do?” I asked. “I can’t force this, Tom. This is not a business deal.”
“God, man,” said Tom, sighing. “Would it kill you to just admit that you love the woman? If she left right now and went back to Spain with old Antonio Banderas, you’re telling me you’d be okay with it?”
I paused and looked my brother in the eye, knowing that he was right. I gave an ironic laugh “You’re right. I wouldn’t be okay with it at all.”
“I knew it!” He slammed the palm of his hand on the desk. “Right. You need to sort it out, right now, before that man has the chance to try and convince her otherwise.”
“And how do you suggest I do that, exactly? March over there like a Neanderthal and claim my woman?”
“Well, knowing you, that wouldn’t surprise me in the least. But, no. Just leave it with me,” Tom said. “I’ve got a plan.”
Chapter 29
________
RACHEL
God, he looked so pat
hetic, standing there in his creased white suit and greasy hair that I actually felt sorry for him. The only word I could think of when I stepped toward him and gave him a tentative hug, was the word scruffy.
It was only because I felt sorry for him, that I hugged him, and he gave me a limp hug in return, burying his face in my neck. For a moment I almost thought he was about to burst into tears. He looked like a wandering nomad, in desperate need of food, a shower, and a nap.
To be honest, I somehow felt ashamed to introduce him to Alex. I wondered what on earth he’d think of me, seeing Mathias like that and knowing that I had actually been engaged to a man who looked like he’d been pickled in olive oil. Mathias couldn’t hold a candle to Alex.
More than that, this was Alex’s house and land. I had no business airing my dirty laundry in front of him, in front of his family and all their guests.
“God, you really picked the worst day to surprise me,” I scolded, as we marched back to the house.
Mathias trotted beside me. “Are you not happy?” he asked. “I was sure this would be a nice surprise.”
“It was a surprise, alright. How did you even get here?” I cried.
“I gave your address to a taxi driver at the airport. He brought me.”
I had no reply. I hardly said a word to him until we got back to the stables. Once there, I took him up to the apartment where he had a shower while I sat at the kitchen table, feeling more annoyed than shocked at his sudden appearance.
I hadn’t thought about him in months. He hadn’t entered my mind at all. He came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist and nothing else. His lean, dark-skinned body used to leave me weak at the knees, but all I could think of now was how hairy he seemed, and how skinny, compared to Alex.
Alex.
God, I felt so shitty for just leaving him like that. I needed to explain to him exactly what had happened, but I had to drag Mathias away from there as quickly as possible. My ex-boyfriend had a real knack for making a scene, with a flair for the dramatic. I shouldn’t have been surprised he’d turned up, really. It was exactly the kind of thing he’d do.
I hoped that Alex would understand. I’d explain it all later. For now, I had a more pressing problem to deal with. Mathias came into the kitchen, the towel still around his waist, his curly, wet hair falling over his eyes. He sat down on one of the chairs.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“We need to talk,” he said, and he reached for my hand. I pulled it away.
“We really don’t need to talk,” I said. “And right now, what you need to do is go back in there and put on some clothes.”
He gave a laugh. “Are you serious? It’s me! We have been naked together lots of times.”
“Right. When we were a couple. But we’re not anymore, and I’d like you to get dressed while you’re in my house.”
He looked confused, but he shrugged and got up. He ripped the towel from his waist and walked away, bare-assed. I rolled my eyes. His ass wasn’t even that nice. I wanted to kick myself for ever having found him attractive. He was trying to push my buttons, but all he was doing was reinforcing a decision I’d made months ago.
When he came back to the kitchen, he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, his bare feet still leaving damp marks on the carpet. He sat at the table and brought out a small black box from his pocket. He put it on the table and looked at it, then looked at me.
“I want you to put this back on,” he declared.
I opened the box and saw the engagement ring I’d handed back to him after the last time he’d cheated on me. The large sapphire in the center gleamed a beautiful blue. I recalled how much I’d liked the ring when I first saw it, and how sorry I was to have to give it back. But one thing was for sure: I didn’t want it back on any finger of mine.
“Why are you showing me this?” I asked.
He grinned. “Listen, Rachel. I made a mistake.”
I just glared at him with raised eyebrows.
“Okay, a couple of mistakes, but I’ve learned my lesson. I miss you and I came all this way to show you just how much. This ring belongs on your finger and we belong together, I know that now. Please, my dear, give us another chance. Give me a chance to show you how much I’ve changed and come back to Spain with me. This ring belongs to you.”
I sighed. “No, Mathias. I’m not taking it back. The day I gave it back to you, I meant it.”
“But… but I came all this way to tell you I love you, and I was hoping that you still felt the same about me, too.”
“Well, you were wrong. I’m not in love with you anymore. I haven’t been in love with you for a long time,” I said firmly. “I meant it when I said it was over. You cheated on me more times than I could count, and even then, those were only the ones I knew about. I’m sure there were others.”
“I’m a man who has always loved women,” he said, pushing out his chest. “It’s in my blood.”
“Is that an excuse?”
“No,” he said. “But there has never been anyone like you, sweet girl. You are the only one for me. I know this now.”
“Now is a couple of months too late,” I said, gently.
For some reason, I wasn’t mad at him. I’d been so angry, so furiously hurt, that I’d wanted to kill him with my bare hands and I swore I’d hit him if I ever saw him again. But now, he just looked so pitiful. And he looked so pitiful because I’d had experienced, firsthand, of what a real man truly was, and how a real man behaved. I hadn’t known Alex all that long, but I knew him well enough to know that he’d never treat me the way Mathias had. I knew it because I could feel it.
“Please don’t tell me we’ll never have another chance,” the man sitting opposite me begged, but I wasn’t to be swayed by pleading.
“I appreciate that you’ve come all this way,” I said. “I really do. But I’m sorry to say that you’ve wasted a trip. I don’t even understand why you would come over before checking with me first. I think you need to leave now, and take the ring with you. Whatever there was between us has been over for a very long time. You need to accept it.”
I stood up. “Now, I’m going to drive you back to the city. I’ll book you into a hotel for the night and then look at getting you a return flight back to Madrid.”
He looked utterly bewildered. I understood why. Time and time again, like an idiot, I’d taken him back after he cheated on me, believing all the excuses he came up with. My love for him had made me blind to all his faults, but, thank God, I’d come to my senses before it had been too late.
Defeated, he picked up the ring, packed the few things he’d brought with him and left the house without another word. I grabbed the keys to my dad’s car and picked up my own overnight bag, which I slung into the trunk.
It was a very quiet ride back into the city, with neither of us wanting to talk. I turned on the radio, desperate to break the silence, but it only seemed to irritate me more. Mathias’ return was the last thing I wanted to deal with at this point in my life.
“Are you in love with him?” he eventually asked.
“Who?”
“The man I saw you with.”
“Yes, I am,” I said softly.
By the time we got to New York, it was dark. I couldn’t face another long drive back, so I wearily checked Mathias into a hotel before leaving for my city apartment. He insisted on paying for his own return flight and even said that he’d considered staying in the Big Apple for a few days before returning to Spain, but I didn’t care.
I was too concerned about whether I’d completely blown my chances with Alex. I thought about calling him, but what could I say? And I didn’t want to talk about this over the phone, either.
God, how I missed Alex.
I didn’t know whether it was because I was so tired, or because I was afraid of what Alex’s reaction to all this was going to be when I saw him again, but I suddenly felt like crying. Why was it that love always seemed so complicated?
&n
bsp; I’d been stupid to ever get involved so soon after coming back home. I should have given myself some space, and maybe should have told Kate that I couldn’t work for Alex Maitland because it was a conflict of interest, having grown up living on his estate.
But it was too late for regrets now. I had fallen hard for Alex and it scared me. Would I have the strength to recover from a broken heart, yet again?
I needed some time to myself, away from everything and everyone. Some time to clear my head. So, I decided to stay in the city for the rest of the weekend and start afresh on Monday. For now, I just wanted to be alone.
Chapter 30
________
ALEX
I gave Tom my most arched of eyebrows. “She didn’t come home last night. I think it’s clear to see the choice she’s made.”
“Have you called her?”
“I’m not interested in calling her. I’d like to be left alone to do some work, please.”
Tom sighed. “I can’t believe you’re doing this,” he said.
“I’m not doing anything. I’m not worrying myself over trivial matters like romance. I was foolish to have my head turned in the first place.”
He gave up and left. As difficult as it was for me to keep my mind focused at first, I soon lost myself in my work.
I hadn’t slept well. For someone who prides himself on always having a restful night, I hated it when sleep eluded me. Rachel hadn’t come home all night; her father’s car was still gone from outside the apartment the last time I checked, which was long after the party had finished.
Noah had a play-date with his friend, Toby, and I spent the rest of the morning working on the Halii-Kai project. If last night had given me anything, it had yielded the knowledge that Tom’s heart was with Sienna, which meant I no longer had any concerns that the Hawaii project would go ahead. I could look at the next part of the project, which included getting the right people to sign off on the land surveys.
ELEMENTAL LOVE: A Second Chance Single Dad Romance Page 17
