by Lila Dubois
“But you can.” Margo insisted.
“It’s not that simple.”
“It’s exactly that simple,” Jane added quietly.
“And what do I do when the relationship goes wrong?” Couldn’t they see how dangerous it was to make yourself vulnerable…and to have another person at your mercy?
“You come to us, we’ll pick you up, and then, after a while, you try again.” Lena words were matter of fact, as if there was nothing wrong with doing something guaranteed to hurt you.
“That’s stupid.”
“That’s dating,” Akta said.
“Margo, Lena, Akta, hold on.” Jane rose and shooed Margo away from Cali. “I want to ask you something.”
“Why not?” Cali put her hands on her hips. “Everyone else has.” Though she wanted out of this trailer, the argument had helped tamp down her tears and worry under a nice, thick layer of anger.
“What color are Seling’s eyes?”
“Brown, so dark they look black when he’s aroused.” Cali bit her lip as she remembered the way he’d looked at her when he was inside her.
“And what does his tattoo look like?”
“It’s stylized flames, just here.” She reached behind her to touch her own back. “It’s beautiful, like him.”
“How do you feel when he smiles at you?”
Cali caught her breath in a little hiccup.
“Okay, that’s okay,” Jane said. “If you were going out to a new restaurant, and none of us were available, who would you take?”
Cali looked at the floor.
“Would you take Seling?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s fun.” What a dumb question. Seling was funny, smart, hot. Of course she’d take him. “He laughs a lot. He thinks people are interesting and when he talks about them, I find them interesting too, instead of irritating.”
“And what about after dinner, what would you do with him then?”
“I’d take him home and we’d fuck until we couldn’t see straight.”
Jane smiled. Cali knew she’d been trapped, but wasn’t sure how.
“I don’t get it,” she admitted. “What was the point of all that? Seling’s cool, anyone would want to do that stuff with him.”
“Let’s poll the other single girl in the room. Akta?”
“Nope. He’s nice, but he’s got a weird sense of humor and doesn’t take anything seriously.”
Cali opened her mouth to defend him, but Jane held her hand up. “See? Cali, you see him differently because there’s something between you. What we just talked about—dinner, sex, laughter. Those are what make a relationship.”
“No, there’s more to relationships than that.” There were things like mangled self-worth, distrust, lies and guilt trips.
“Maybe.” Jane shrugged. “But right now all you need to do is acknowledge that you want to at least try dating Seling. That’s all.”
Cali stepped back and leaned against the counter.
She’d always figured that if she started a relationship she’d drown under the pressure and negativity that she was sure relationships involved. But maybe they were right. Maybe she could have those things she enjoyed, without it ripping her to pieces—or her ripping the other person to pieces.
Maybe there was a way to not feel so terribly alone.
“I want to date Seling.”
“Yes.” Jane grinned at her.
“And I can just…date him?”
“Just think of it as a series of one-night stands all strung together.”
“I want to date Seling,” Cali said again, testing the words. They felt good, and a smile bloomed across her face.
Jane hugged her. “Don’t let your fear keep you from being happy,” she whispered in Cali’s ear.
Cali hugged her back, not sure if she could do what Jane said, but for the first time in her life she was willing to try.
“Now there’s just one problem,” Cali admitted.
“What’s that?”
“I blew him off. Hard.”
“Shit,” Margo muttered. “I forgot about that part.”
“I don’t think he wants me anymore.”
“I’m sure he still wants you, but he’s probably pissed.” Margo bit her lip.
“So what do I do?”
Lena grinned at her. “Easy. Seduce him.”
A few hours later, Cali had pulled herself together. Whatever was going on in her personal life would have to wait. She needed to be a director, not some emotional wreck. She had good support in her producers, but until they knew who’d leaked the footage, she couldn’t bring herself to trust either of her ADs the way she had only days ago. She worked the production, checking in with department heads, talking with grips and best boys and even laying some camera track.
Over the headset, she checked in with everyone and heard the call to start getting the talent ready. Taking a deep breath, Cali turned towards the trailers. Her plan—though it wasn’t much of one—was to intercept Seling on his way to makeup and wardrobe. She tugged her shirt down a bit, showing off her cleavage, and fluffed her hair.
Midway to the trailers, Margo ran up to her.
“Is everything okay?” Cali asked.
“Yes. Give me your radio for a second.”
“Why?”
Margo yanked it off her belt, changed the channel, then handed it back. “Keep your headset on.”
“It will mess up my hair.”
“Keep it on.”
“Fine.” Cali put her headset on. It was the kind football coaches wore with one earpiece and a mic that left the other ear uncovered so she could still hear.
Margo gave her a once over, pulled some hair over her shoulder, then scurried away. Now more nervous than before, Cali made her way to the trailers.
Seling was making his way to wardrobe. He was human, looking handsome and sexy in jeans and a black T-shirt. His hair was a rumpled mess, and he had his hands stuffed in his pockets. He looked almost…sad.
“I can’t do this,” Cali said to herself.
There was an electronic screech in her ear, and then Margo barked, “Yes, you can. Go.”
Cali had the mic folded up along the headband. She pulled it down in front of her mouth. “What are you doing?”
“Don’t worry, we’re on a private channel. No one can hear us.”
“You mean ‘us’ as in…”
“Hi, Cali.” One by one, the other three chimed in.
“You know I look like a lunatic walking around and talking to myself?”
“Then stop talking. Go get Seling,” Margo demanded.
“You can see me too? Where are you?”
“Not important,” Akta said. “Go.”
Cali considered turning her radio off, but the truth was she was so nervous she might need the encouragement. “Keep it down,” was all she said before she lowered her mic to just under her chin and picked up the pace to intersect Seling.
“Seling.”
He turned when she called out to him, and for a moment a smile lit up his face. Then it disappeared and he took his hands from his pockets, folding his arms across his chest.
“Did you want something?”
As a matter of fact, I do want something. You.
“Just to talk. Can we go over there?” She pointed to an area behind a row of trailers. She wanted to be out of sight of the girls.
“I have to go to wardrobe.”
“I know that. I’m the director.”
“How could I forget?”
“Well, then why would you tell me something I already know?”
“Cali, be nice,” Margo barked in her ear.
She took a breath, then said. “Sorry. It won’t take long. Can we just talk for a minute?”
Seling shrugged, then motioned for her to go first. Once they were out of sight, all Cali’s carefully prepared speeches went out the window. She felt nervous and out of control, both things she hat
ed.
“What did you want to talk about?” Seling had his arms crossed and seemed to be looking at something just over her left shoulder.
“It’s about the other day. First, I want to say I’m sorry.”
“For having sex with me? I got that.”
“No, not for having sex with you. For not having sex with you, the second time.”
“Don’t apologize. I don’t need or want your pity sex.”
“It wasn’t going to be pity sex. I wanted to have sex with you too.”
Seling snorted. “You acted like I was some ugly dog who had come to you begging for scraps.”
“No, I didn’t.” Had she? “If I did, then I’m sorry.”
He shrugged one shoulder. “Fine. Did you need anything else?”
Cali felt him slipping away from her. She didn’t know what to do, to say. After a moment, she simply nodded.
“Mercedes, do not let him leave! Tell him you want to be with him!” Margo and Lena were both yelling in her ear.
“Seling, wait!”
He raised a brow.
“Go out with me.”
Now he looked surprised. “What?”
“I’m…asking you out on a date.”
Instead of being thrilled and sweeping her up in his arms so they could go have wild sex, Seling just looked suspicious.
“So now you want to date?”
“Yes.” She smiled.
“The other day you asked me if I thought we were dating in a way that made it perfectly clear that you couldn’t even think of anything more disgusting than dating me.”
“I’m sorry, I never meant—”
“I plan to integrate into the human world. When all this is over, I’m going to live here, in one of the human cities. I’m going to find women who do want to date me. I’m sure there are human women out there who will respect me and want me. I’m a proud of my Clan and my people and I will not be with someone who looks down on that.”
He turned and walked away. Cali stared after him in shock. Is that what he thought? That she didn’t want to be with him because he was a monster? Him being a monster had nothing to do with it.
“Oh my God, go after him!” Jane’s voice was barely audible over the curses of the others.
“Seling, wait!”
Anger rolled in his belly, hot and bright. Seling tried to calm himself, but it was no use. He went back to the trailer. He was angry enough that it would be dangerous to be around anyone. Cali was behind him—he could hear her footsteps—but it didn’t matter. He opened the trailer door, stripped and threw his clothes in.
The sun beat down on his human shoulder, while a cool breeze kissed his naked belly, ass and legs. Seling made one final effort to tamp down his anger, to hold back the change.
His true form would not be denied.
With a sigh, Seling let go, released his hold on the spell Maeve had made that allowed him live in this human body. His real body burst forth, growing faster than the human skin could disappear, so wing and bone ripped through the soft flesh. It hurt, but it was a pleasant pain, because now he was home.
He’d closed his eyes, not wanting to see the skin of his hands and arms splitting before it dissolved. When he opened them, it took a moment for his brain to process what he was seeing. After being in his short human body, the ground seemed too far away. He rocked forward, reorienting himself to standing on his distinctly non-human legs. In the space of a breath, he’d settled into his true form.
He heard Cali suck in a breath behind him. Seling closed his eyes. He could smell her, hear her heartbeat. She infuriated him. She was both cold as ice and hot as fire. It was her fire he wanted. He liked the burn.
But she’d turned to ice, frozen him out.
And now she insisted that she wanted to be with him. Seling didn’t believe her—he was sure her friends had told her what a mistake it was to be rude to him, considering that he was in the movie. When he’d asked if sleeping together would negatively affect the movie, he hadn’t anticipated that she’d go cold and stomp on his heart.
“Seling...listen.”
The sound of her voice, husky and soft, sent a spike of arousal through him. His cock swelled and, without turning to face her, he ripped open the door to the trailer and reached one long arm in, grabbing the pants the costume department had made for him. He pulled them on and tried to will his cock to stop twitching. He hated himself for still wanting her.
Angry at her, at himself, Seling vented his frustration the best way he knew how.
He took a deep breath, letting the fire inside him roll up until it licked the skin along his neck and cheeks. He faced the empty space between trailers and roared. A twenty-foot plume of fire shot from his mouth. The fire groaned and hissed and the air temperature jumped twenty degrees. Seling let the fire carry the worst of his anger and hurt from his body, and when he stopped, he felt calmer. There was a long swath of black pavement in front of him, and the paint of his trailer had bubbled. Seling flicked his tongue over his fangs, which were hot.
Turning to her, Seling crossed his arms and spread his wings. He expected her to take a step back, for fear to crease her face. Maybe if he scared her, made her hate and fear him, he’d stop wanting her.
Cali rolled her eyes. “Really?”
Seling sighed. Then again, maybe not.
“Okay, fine, we’ll have the conversation this way.” Cali crossed her arms, showing no hint of fear.
“We don’t need to talk. You made your position very clear.”
“Did I really? So now you know everything about me?”
“I know you.”
“Oh yeah?” Cali tipped her head, staring at him.
“Yes. You’re beautiful, infuriating, smart and a bitch.”
Cali smiled. That wasn’t the reaction he’d been going for. “All true.”
“And you don’t care about anyone but yourself.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is from where I stand.”
Cali’s lips pulled back from her teeth in a snarl. Her eyes were like pools of molten gold. She opened her mouth, then cocked her head to the side as if she were listening to something. She took a breath before speaking again.
“I hurt you. I didn’t want to do it, I didn’t mean to. Sometimes I say what I’m thinking when I shouldn’t.”
“I know that. Everyone knows that.”
“And sometimes...” Cali swallowed. She bit her lower lip, then took off her headset and radio, setting them on the steps of the trailer. Seling heard what sounded like Margo and Lena’s voices before she flicked the radio off.
Seling was overcome by the feeling that there was something going on here he didn’t know about and didn’t understand.
“Yes, I say things I shouldn’t. I say what I think, I tell people truths they don’t want to hear, even when it hurts them.”
She looked up and now her brown eyes were soft pools, as dark and mysterious as the deep places of the earth.
Seling waited, now sure that there was something more going on here. That she was hiding something from him.
“But sometimes...sometimes I say things to push people away.”
She pressed her lips together, gently took her headset and walked away.
Seling stalked around the perimeter of the set, looking for something he could burn up. In the end, a pile of wood pallets took the force of his anger and he reduced them to cinders.
Breathing fire wasn’t easy, and Seling let out a tired breath when he was done. He had no idea how much time had passed, but he was so late to wardrobe it was laughable. The fact that a PA wasn’t running around screaming his name probably meant that his confrontation with Cali had slowed down the production. The director was the leader and if she was distracted, everything else slowed down.
That was exactly why Seling had asked if their being together had been a problem. He’d been willing to walk away that first night.
He thought they’d been starti
ng something fun and sexy, she just wanted one night, and now things were weird.
And after that last conversation, they were even weirder. She’d made it very clear that she didn’t like him, didn’t want him, and yet a few days later she’s telling him she wants to date.
Females could be so confusing.
“Uh, I’ll go the other way.”
The voice intruded in Seling’s musings, and he turned to see Catherine. Seling wasn’t entirely sure what they needed a visual effects supervisor for, and from the few times he talked to her she’d seemed a bit confused too.
“Sorry.” He folded his wings down over his shoulders and smiled. Her eyes rounded and Seling reminded himself that he couldn’t really smile in this form. The fangs made it look threatening.
Her eyes slid to the blackened bit of pavement. “Did you just burn up the wood pallets?”
“Yes.”
“Does Jo know?”
“Were they for the set?”
“Yep.”
“Don’t tell her.” Seling winced. It wasn’t Jo he was worried about, but Tokaki, who would kick his ass for messing with Jo’s stuff.
“She’ll never hear it from me.” Catherine examined him, her eyes moving slowly over him, from his feet up.
Seling cleared his throat, a little embarrassed. When Cali looked at him, it was either with desire or with cool assessment. Catherine’s regard was different—it was as if she didn’t like him or didn’t know what to do with him.
“Are you done burning things up?” Catherine asked.
Seling felt like his mother had just scolded him. “Yes.”
“Okay. I’m leaving.”
He watched Catherine tuck her laptop more securely under her arm and walk to one of the entrances where a guard let her pass.
He really didn’t understand females.
Now later than ever, he headed to his trailer. His next scene was as a human, so he needed to change forms and grab some human pants before he went to wardrobe.
Lance, the casting director, was standing in the door of his trailer, his head deep inside.
“Hey, Lance.”
He spun and gasped, pressing his hand over his heart. His eyes were wide with terror as he stared at Seling before he dropped his gaze.
