Surprise flickered through her. She shifted her gaze to him. “You’ve been planning to come back for a while, then.”
He nodded. “It’s been on my mind for a few years now. Having these done made it seem more real. Immediate. Most of the new developments out in California look like they’ve been stamped out on an assembly line, so that’s what they design.”
She half-laughed. “You really didn’t like California.”
He looked at her thoughtfully. “It’s really not that bad. Its main problem for me was that it wasn’t Texas. I wanted to be here. Now that I am, I want something different. I want the cabins to look like they belong there. A part of the ranch itself.”
“Yeah, you said that.” Idly Beth picked up a pencil and sketched a porch on one of the cabin drawings, then added window boxes and rockers on the porch. She had never been much of an artist, but it didn’t look too bad to her eye. “Better?”
“Yes.” He smiled at her, and her breath caught.
She didn’t want to feel for him. Didn’t want to be drawn to him. But it seemed what she wanted and what was happening were two separate things.
“You can make each cabin different by adding little finishes or even by differing the structures themselves. Arched doorways, painted different colors.” She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Log cabins, Victorians, bungalows, hobbit houses. Give them each a personality.”
“You’re good at this,” he mused.
His voice was too soft. He was standing too close. He smelled too good. Beth had come here riding on fury, but that had passed, leaving her feeling hollowed out. She still didn’t have answers, but what she did have, as always, was this driving need for Camden Guthrie.
“I should go,” she said.
“Don’t.”
Looking up into his eyes, she fought with herself internally. Beth knew she should leave, but her feet wouldn’t move. She knew that if she stayed, nothing would be resolved. It was more likely the problems and mistrust between them would only grow. Sex wasn’t in itself an answer and often just led to muddying things up even more.
“You’re looking at me like you’re trying to solve a mystery.”
“Maybe I am,” she admitted.
“It’s just not that complicated, Beth.”
“Please.” She shook her head and nearly smiled. “You’ve always been complicated, Camden.”
“There you’re wrong,” he said, moving in a little closer so that she couldn’t breathe without taking his scent inside her. “When it came to you, I wasn’t complicated at all.”
She sighed, still trying to stop what was inevitably crashing toward her. “Until you left with another woman.”
“You don’t understand, Beth,” he said. “Any of it.”
“Then explain it to me. After all these years, tell me.”
He frowned. “We open this door—there’s no going back.”
“Maybe there shouldn’t be,” Beth said, even knowing that what she might hear could tear her heart to pieces. “We keep twisting the doorknob, but we never open it. Never look. Isn’t it better to know the truth?”
He studied her, and emotions darted across the surface of his eyes so quickly she couldn’t have named them all.
Maybe she was crazy to open this all up now. Maybe it would be better if she never knew what had happened so long ago. But if she didn’t take this step, her dreams would always be tortured. She would always wonder how he could have chosen Julie over her.
Keeping her gaze locked with his, she asked, “Julie was pregnant. Were you cheating on me the whole time? Were you and Julie laughing at me?”
“What? No.” He turned and kicked the wall, then whipped back around to face her. “How could you think that?”
“How could I not?” she countered. “We were together for three years and then suddenly you and Julie run away to get married? What the hell, Camden?”
“We’re just going to jump right in, huh? Fine.” He took a step closer. “Like you said, we were together three years. We had plans, too, Beth. Or did you forget all about them that last night we were together when you shot it all down and tossed us aside? Tossed me aside?”
“I didn’t do that.”
“The hell you didn’t.” His voice was tight and low and thrumming with the same anger she felt. “Instead of getting married and going off to college together, you said you needed ‘time.’ That you were too young all of a damn sudden. We were too young.”
She remembered it all as clearly as he did. “We were, Cam. I was only eighteen.”
“Didn’t bother you before that night. What the hell changed?” The challenge was clear in his tone. “Was it your father? He hated you being with an ‘Indian.’”
“You’re wrong.” Beth shook her head firmly. “He didn’t care about that. What he cared about was that you had no money. No prospects. He wanted us to wait. Was that really so wrong?”
“No, what was wrong was you parroting everything your old man said and then acting like it was your version of the truth.”
Beth took a deep breath and blinked frantically to hold back tears of frustration. “All I said was I wanted to wait. To take some time apart to make sure.”
“Translation—” he bit off. “We’re done.”
“No. You’re wrong.” She stormed closer, too, and poked his chest with her index finger. “That may be what you heard, but I never said I didn’t want you. God help me,” she admitted, her voice dropping. “Even after everything that’s happened I still want you.”
SEVEN
Cam grabbed her as they’d both known he would.
He pulled her in close, kissed her senseless, then lifted his head and stared down into her eyes. Beth got lost there, as she always had. It didn’t matter what else was going on. This amazing, nearly magical feeling of being held by him would always drive her. She’d missed him so much. Missed them so much that now that he was holding her again, she could think of nothing else.
Her mouth was buzzing from that kiss, her blood bubbling in her veins, and all she could see was him. Maybe this had been unavoidable after all. This slow slide into Camden’s arms.
Staring into his eyes, she whispered, “This solves nothing.”
“Maybe it doesn’t have to,” he said softly, his gaze moving over her face as if he’d hungered for no more than simply seeing her again.
“Maybe not,” she agreed as her heart began to race. “No more talking.”
“None,” he muttered, and kissed her again. His mouth ravaged hers, taking, giving, demanding. She was breathless as his lips, teeth and tongue claimed every inch of her mouth and silently demanded more.
He scraped his hands up and down her back, and all she could think was that she had too many clothes on. She needed to feel his hands on her skin.
As if he’d heard that stray thought, Cam tore his mouth from hers and looked down into her eyes as he tugged the hem of her shirt free of her slacks. Sliding one hand beneath the cool green fabric, he skimmed his fingertips across her abdomen and then up to cup her breast, and even through the fragile lace, she felt the heat of him.
His thumb and forefinger tweaked at her nipple and a shiver swept over her. Need erupted and she moaned softly, arching into him, pushing her breast into his hand, wishing her bra off and away. Then he took care of that, too. He flicked open the closure between her breasts and then he was touching her. Skin to skin, the heat overwhelming.
Beth stared up at him and saw her past, her present, her future, staring back at her. For her it had always been Camden. And maybe it always would be.
“Gotta get this off,” he murmured, shifting his hold on her so he could work on the tiny buttons lining the front of her shirt. “Have to touch you. Feel you.”
“Yes.” She watched his strong hands and nimble fingers make short work of the buttons, th
en shrugged out of the shirt and tossed it onto the table as soon as he was finished. He slid her bra straps down her shoulders and let the pale blue lace drop to the floor.
“You’re even more beautiful than I remembered,” he whispered, and bent his head to take first one hardened nipple then the other into his mouth.
A groan erupted from her throat. She tipped her head back and stared unseeing at the ceiling. Her knees were weak, but Cam had one arm hooked around her waist holding her up as his mouth did incredible things to her body. His lips and tongue pulled at her nipples. The edges of his teeth scraped the tender flesh, and when he suckled her she felt the pull all the way down to her toes. She held on to his shoulders, digging her fingers into the fabric of his white shirt and the whipcord muscles beneath it.
When he dropped his free hand to the clasp of her slacks, then dipped his fingers beneath the elastic band of her panties to drive deeply into her heat, Beth exploded with an orgasm so shattering it stole her breath. She hadn’t meant to come so quickly. Hadn’t expected to. But her body had been starved for him for so long that his barest touch had driven her over the edge.
He held her while she trembled and rode the wave of the sensations claiming her. When she finally drew a breath again, she looked up into his eyes and found hunger stamped there so blatantly she almost came again.
“Upstairs,” he said tightly.
“Yes,” Beth answered. “Quickly.”
“You read my mind,” he admitted. Grabbing her shirt off the table, he swung her into his arms and headed for the stairs.
“I can walk,” she told him, looking up into the harsh, taut planes of his face as he took the stairs two at a time.
“Not fast enough.” He kept his gaze fixed ahead and she watched him, feeling her stomach swirl with the overwhelming reactions he caused in her. Seeing the blatant need on his features only inflamed her own.
Beth tore at the buttons on his shirt, and when two of them popped free she slid one hand across his chest as he made a left turn at the landing. He hissed in a breath at her touch and she smiled, knowing that she affected him as strongly as he did her.
Her fingers defined his hard, muscled chest, and all she could think was she wanted to be lying on top of him. To feel their bodies pressed together. Then he stalked into a room at the end of the hall and Beth took a quick look around.
The huge square room was as deliberately masculine as the great room downstairs. A massive four poster bed covered in a bloodred duvet took dominance and, frankly, was the only piece of furniture she was interested in at the moment. And still, she noticed the two chairs pulled up in front of a brick fireplace. The dressers, the bookcases, and the flat screen television on the wall facing the bed.
Then her mental tour was over as Cam dropped her onto the mattress and stood looking down at her. He wasted no time tearing his shirt off and tossing it aside. Beth kicked off her heeled sandals and squirmed out of her slacks and panties, all the while watching Camden remove his boots and jeans. And when he was standing beside the bed naked, she took a moment to just enjoy the view.
His body was hard and muscled, speaking more of years of hard work than a gym. As he stared down at her, she saw his eyes flash with the same raw desire peaking inside her. Gazes locked, he reached into the bedside table drawer, pulled out a condom and, ripping it open, sheathed himself in seconds. Then he moved so quickly she hardly saw the action. He caught her legs in his hands and pulled her to the edge of the mattress.
“Camden…”
“We agreed,” he reminded her. “No more talking.”
“Yes, but—”
He knelt before her and lowered his mouth to her center. Instantly, talking was the last thing on Beth’s mind. She gasped at the sensation of his mouth and tongue working her most sensitive flesh. Again and again, he licked at her, suckling at the center bud until Beth thought she would lose her mind. She tried to twist and writhe on the bed to ease the ache, the tingles of expectation building inexorably inside, but Cam held her fast to the bed. She was caught in his grasp, and there was nowhere else she wanted to be.
The only sound was the soft purr of the air conditioner. The duvet beneath her felt cool and silky on her skin. Her breath wheezed in and out of her lungs as Camden drove her quietly insane.
His hot breath brushed against her as his tongue stroked her into a frenzy of need so wild it made that first shattering orgasm feel insignificant in comparison. He took her to the very brink of explosion time and again and, each time, pulled her back before allowing her to fall.
She reached down, threaded her fingers through his hair and tugged, making him look at her, making him see what he was doing to her. “Don’t stop, Camden.”
“Need to be inside you,” he muttered, and this time when he pushed her to the very edge of oblivion, he pulled away, shifted her on the bed and then covered her body with his.
This was what she’d craved, Beth thought wildly. This melding of bodies, this press of his flesh to hers. The feel of his heart pounding against hers. And when he drove his body into hers, Beth lifted both of her legs, wrapping them around his hips as she tried to take him more deeply.
His body pounded into hers and she rocked with him, riding the rhythm he set, breathless as she scored his back with her fingernails. She tucked her face into the curve of his neck and bit him as the first explosion roared through her.
He groaned and pumped faster, harder, driving them both in their frenzy to finally at long last feel the crash of release they both needed so badly. Her insides coiled, tighter, tighter, building toward something earth-shattering. Cam raised his head and she shifted to take his mouth, to tangle her tongue with his, to draw his breath into her lungs and give him hers.
But when her climax hit her with the force of a hundred orgasms at once, Beth pulled her mouth free and screamed out his name. Head back, eyes wide, she felt herself splinter into a million pieces and didn’t care. Tremors rattled her body as he drove her on and on, never stopping.
Beth wrapped her arms around his neck and held on to him as the only stable point in her suddenly spinning universe. She was still clinging to him when Cam’s body exploded into hers, and together they took that fall.
* * *
A few minutes later, Cam was still trying to catch his breath. With Beth tucked into his side, he stared up at the beamed ceiling and fought his own internal struggle. Being with Beth again had soothed corners of his soul that he hadn’t even realized had been ragged and worn.
And he didn’t feel even slightly guilty about that. Which made him feel a pang of guilt. Hell, he’d been married to a woman he’d come to love, and he’d never once experienced anything like what he’d just survived with Beth. His heart was still racing and his dick was ready to go again—in spite of what his mind was currently torturing him with.
“Camden?”
He blew out a breath and turned his head to look at her. Beth’s hair was a tangle of gold, and her green eyes shone in the afternoon light. Her mouth was bruised and puffy, and she had one leg hooked across him.
All he wanted was to gather her up and have her again. To feel that magical moment when his body became a part of hers. But as they’d already discovered, that wouldn’t solve anything.
“That was…”
“Yeah, it was,” he said, and shifted, going up on one elbow to look down at her.
She pushed a hand through her hair, swiping it back from her face. Afternoon sunlight drifted through the windows, slanting across the bed, throwing her eyes into shadow. He used to be fascinated by her eyes, Cam thought. Everything she felt was reflected there. He always knew what she was thinking because her eyes kept no secrets.
But now she guarded her mysteries. There was a wall between them now—and a part of him was grateful for it.
Their connection was fragile and it should probably stay that way.
He wasn’t looking for the kind of relationship with Beth that he’d once dreamed of. Today they were different people. The fact that the heat between them had only intensified didn’t change a damn thing. In fact, it complicated things further.
“You don’t have to get that look on your face,” Beth warned.
“What look?”
“The one that clearly reads, How close is the nearest exit?”
He scowled at her. “Think you know me so well, do you?”
“Absolutely,” she said, then tipped her head to one side. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
“You’re wrong. That’s not what I was thinking at all.”
“Great,” she said. “Then what?”
“Just that this doesn’t—”
“Matter? I know. We both knew that going in, didn’t we?”
All he could do was stare at her. Why was she being so damn reasonable? Where was her fury from earlier? Was she really so able to compartmentalize this and tuck it away into the back of her mind? He had been prepared to pull back, to explain that they couldn’t go forward from here. Now that she’d done it for him, Cam wasn’t sure what to say.
“Relax, Camden.” Beth scooted up higher on the pillows banked behind them. “I don’t want anything from you.”
That was a little insulting. “Why the hell not?”
“Because when I needed you, you left.” She shrugged. “Why would I make the same mistake all over again?”
A punch to the gut would have been easier to take. “Are we back to that, then?”
“We never left it. There are too many unanswered questions hanging in the air between us, Cam.”
“You want answers?” He’d kept his mouth shut about what had happened fifteen years ago. He’d never talked about it and had rarely thought about it once his decision to marry Julie had been made. Seemed like the time had come.
“You want answers?” he repeated. “Fine. Here’s one. Up to you if you believe it or not.”
She watched him through suspicious eyes. “Go ahead.”
Harlequin Desire June 2020 - Box Set 1 of 2 Page 10
