Finn felt the monster retreat and stretched the fingers on his right hand, then his left. “Okay.” He waited for her to explain and then waited some more. But no explanation came.
Crap. He didn’t like being kept in the dark. Not about her. And he knew, at a gut level, whoever had been on the end of the call was damn important to Beah.
Who? Why? What was she up to?
Before he could push, Beah changed the subject. “Where are we going first?”
The moment had passed and Finn knew he wasn’t going to get anything out of her until she was ready to spill. And she might never be ready. Not the nicest thought he’d ever had.
Finn pushed his irritation way and signaled to turn right. Get your head in the game, Murphy. You have no right to push and pry.
How would you feel if she was pushing you?
Finn wished, just for a second, that she would. He wanted her to go there, mentally encouraging her to pry, so they could start breaking down the barriers between them.
And why did he want to do that? He had no intention of falling even a little in love with her again, so what was the point?
Crap, she confused the hell out of him. And he wasn’t a man who was easily confused.
“Finn? Agenda?”
Finn dragged his thoughts back to the present and dragged a hand over his face. “Right. I haven’t been completely useless, wedding-wise. I have been in contact with vendors and last night I sent various emails to various people—the florist, the cake baker and the wedding coordinator for the chapel—asking to meet this morning.”
“And they agreed at the last minute?” Beah asked.
He couldn’t blame her for sounding skeptical; it was primo wedding season, and few people in the wedding industry had time for last-minute demands. But being a Murphy had its occasional perks, and immediate attention was one of them.
Finn shrugged. “I’m a Murphy and our name grabs attention. No doubt my wedding planning inquiries have the rumors flying about my impending marriage. When I rock up with you, the rumor mill will go into hyperdrive, so do not be surprised if you see a headline tomorrow suggesting we are getting remarried. Would that be a problem for you?”
He was fishing because he was still curious about her call, but Beah, dammit, was too smart to take the bait.
“Are we going to tell the vendors that it’s Piper and Ben getting married, not us?”
“If it comes up. I’m not in the habit of explaining myself and I really don’t care what people say or write about me.”
He’d learned that lesson from Carrick after his ex-wife Tamlyn fed malicious stories to the press about Carrick’s alleged verbal abuse and his numerous affairs. None of it had been true, but the truth didn’t matter when it came to selling stories.
As a result, Carrick never explained or issued comments.
“But,” Finn said, thinking out loud, “it’s a helluva sensitive time for the company right now and we cannot afford any bad publicity. Maybe we should just tell people we are organizing this for our friends. We’ll keep it simple, saying they are in Hong Kong and we’re doing the legwork for them.”
“Are you really worried about adverse press attention?”
He felt Beah’s eyes on his face and turned his head to send her a quick look. He frowned, feeling a swirl of apprehension in his stomach. “You know we are, Bee. The sale is huge and we can’t afford anything to take the attention off it.”
Beah nodded and looked out her window. Finn wished he could see her eyes, wished he knew what was going on behind those copper-colored depths. Because he sure as hell thought something was.
Beah played with the funky antique silver bracelet on her left wrist and he wondered if it was the same one he’d given to her their first Christmas together. It looked like it, but he couldn’t be sure.
“I’m sorry for assuming you hadn’t made any arrangements,” Beah said. “I’m a bit of a control freak and it’s really important to me that Piper has her fairy-tale wedding.”
Because she didn’t have one? Before Finn could ask that question, Beah started to speak. “There wasn’t much my mom wanted when she was dying, except to be with me. But she did want one last holiday by the sea, so I packed her and her morphine drip into my car and we headed for Devon. She couldn’t do much more than sit in her wheelchair on the pier but I saw the peace on her face. I still remember her lifting her face to the sun and smiling.” Beah’s voice cracked and Finn swallowed down an unexpected rush of emotion.
“It’s important to me that Piper gets her version of a seaside holiday and if this wedding is what she wants, then that’s what I’m going to give her. We’ve become pretty close in the past couple of weeks, maybe because I’ve experienced watching someone with cancer and I know how devastating it can be.” Beah lifted her slim shoulders before allowing them to sag.
Finn thought she’d exchanged a few emails, maybe spoken to Piper on the phone once or twice. He’d never expected her to become emotionally involved with Piper, especially with Beah’s history of nursing her own mom through her death. He admired her courage for giving this to Piper, and for nursing her mom, especially since he still felt uncomfortable talking about her mom and her battle with cancer.
“I’m sorry.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Finn saw her tense, saw the same expression on her face that he’d seen last night. But he needed to say this again, make her understand.
“I should’ve listened to you when you wanted to talk about your mom. I shouldn’t have changed the subject or distracted you. That was wrong of me.”
Beah half turned to face him, pushing her glasses onto the top of her head. “Why did you push me away? I’ve never understood.”
He couldn’t tell her she made him feel too much, that getting emotionally close to her, as close as two people should be when they were married, scared him.
“I’m not a great talker, Bee.” Finn glanced out the window and felt the pressure in his head, in his chest. “That being said, I should’ve tried harder. To understand. To, at the very least, let you talk.”
“You were supposed to be my best friend, Finn.” Beah’s quiet words ripped his heart in two.
“I know, and I failed you.” Finn reached across the expanse between them to place his hand on hers, squeezing her fingers gently. “I really am sorry.”
He didn’t know if it helped but the words were out there. He’d managed to say what he needed to. Beah didn’t speak but she did, eventually, turn her palm upwards and link her fingers in his. “I appreciate you saying that, Finn. But our marriage was a long time ago and I’m over it.”
He heard the determination in her voice. His head understood their time had passed but damn, his heart wasn’t completely on board.
And his libido had never forgotten her. She was still the best he’d ever had.
“If we could get past wanting to rip each other’s clothes off, we could be friends,” Beah mused.
Finn lifted his hand to return it to the wheel. Why couldn’t they be friends and have sex? For as long as she was around? It sounded like a win-win solution to him.
Beah took a long time to respond to his suggestion. “I don’t know, Finn,” she said, twisting her hands together. “The last time we hopped into bed we ended up getting married and divorced within a year.”
“We were young and dumb,” Finn replied. “We’re older, wiser, less impetuous.”
“We started kissing in a lift and ended up naked ten minutes later,” Beah pointed out.
Okay, that had been pretty impetuous, but they were allowed one slip, weren’t they? “We’re not going to end up doing anything stupid, Beah.”
They weren’t going to confuse love and sex again, weren’t going to hand over their hearts and exchange rings and vows.
“But friends with benefits, Finn?” Beah sounded
skeptical. “I kind of thought you were kidding last night.”
He never joked about sex. And especially not with her.
“Why not? We’re single, consenting adults who enjoy each other’s bodies.” So much. “We have art in common and Murphy’s in common. We’re both committed to the company and our careers.”
Finn braked at the red traffic light and turned his head to look at her, his curiosity caught by the strange look crossing over her face. It was a combination of guilt and determination, mixed with a healthy dose of “oh, crap.”
What the hell was that about?
“What’s the problem?”
Beah tipped her head, looking puzzled. “I’m not sure what you are getting at…”
Good try, Beah. “What aren’t you telling me? And don’t say nothing because I know something is up. We might not have seen much of each other over the years, Bee, but I know when you are hiding something.”
Beah slipped her glasses back onto her face and sent him a tight smile. She gestured to the traffic light, which had turned green. “Let’s move on, Murphy.”
Finn knew she wasn’t only talking about their trip but also the direction of their conversation. He also realized she wasn’t going to open up, and her reticence annoyed him.
His ex-wife seemed to have more secrets than Vatican City. And he didn’t like not being part of the inner circle.
* * *
By lunchtime, they’d visited the chapel, decided on a white chocolate and raspberry cake, and met with the florist. They were due to meet with the caterer to finalize the menu and had booked a string quartet. The wedding reception would take place in the ballroom at Mounton House, the only place they could find able to hold fifty-plus people at very short notice.
They were making progress, Beah thought, making notes on her iPad. Piper and Ben’s wedding was on track. All the bride and groom had to do was rock up and be happy.
Beah made a final note, looked up and noticed Finn wasn’t heading in the direction of Murphy International.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“Detour,” Finn replied.
“I need to get back to work, Finn,” Beah said, twisting in her seat to face him.
“It’s only noon. We can be back in the office by two or three.” Finn’s placed his big hand on her knee and squeezed. “Come home with me, Bee. For an hour, maybe two.”
Beah pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, caught between temptation and sensibility. If she did this, if she said yes, it would take whatever they had from a one-night stand to a fling, to something not so easy to dismiss.
Oh, she wasn’t going to allow it to go deeper than a brief affair, that wasn’t an option, but it would still be more than a heated, impetuous night.
She should think about this, work out the pros and cons.
Finn pulled over into an empty parking space, just a mile from the Charlestown Navy Yard, where he owned a condo on Constellation Wharf. He’d bought it, so she heard, shortly after their divorce, fulfilling his wish to live on the water.
“If you are unsure, I’ll do a U-turn and take you back to Murphy’s,” Finn told her, his voice low but his tone sincere. He rested his forearms on the steering wheel and turned his head to look at her. “I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing something you don’t want to do.”
She was nearly thirty years old and nobody pushed her around, especially when it came to her body. “I’m perfectly capable of saying no, Murphy.”
Finn grimaced. “I know, Bee.” He shoved his hand through his hair, frustration jumping in and out of his eyes. “You’re not the young woman I married, but can’t you see I’m also trying not to be the jerk I used to be?”
Beah considered his statement. The old Finn would’ve just driven her home, not giving her much of an option, teasing, charming and persuading her into doing whatever he wanted. Grown-up Finn was giving her a choice and she appreciated it.
But she still didn’t know if going home with him was a good idea.
“Jeez, Finn, I don’t know. This could become complicated.”
Finn’s green eyes were steady on hers. “You’re overthinking this, Bee.”
Was he right? Was she overanalyzing the situation? Sleeping with Finn didn’t mean anything had to change; she would still be the same person she was before. She’d just be Beah with a sex life.
Sleeping with Finn didn’t mean she’d have to make any compromises or change her thinking. He was asking to share her body, not her life. A good thing, since she wasn’t about to give up her independence for anyone, to rely on anyone, ever again.
“Maybe this will help you decide,” Finn murmured before she could give him her answer.
He cupped the back of her neck and his lips touched hers in a surprisingly tender kiss. Beah murmured her approval as he softly, gently explored her mouth.
It was a first kiss, a getting-to-know-you-again kiss, a kiss with no beginning and no end. Beah forgot she was sitting in his car just a mile from his condo. It felt like she was sitting on a moonlit beach in Santorini, in an isolated treehouse in the Pacific Northwest. It was sweet and sigh-worthy and persuasive.
She wanted this, she wanted him…
Had she ever stopped? No, not really.
She was going to say yes.
SIX
At his harbor-view condo, Finn didn’t bother giving Beah the tour. In true Finn fashion, he looked single-minded and determined, and Beah was left in no doubt as to where he wanted her.
In his bed, naked.
As Beah followed Finn through his luxurious house, her hand swallowed by his, she caught glimpses of his deck, the harbor, expensive yachts and boats through the floor-to-ceiling glass of his living room on the bottom floor. They went up a floor and a sleek kitchen, den and dining area occupied the open-plan space. Finn didn’t stop to let her take in his eclectic collection of art, he simply led her up the stairs to the third floor, finally stopping in the spacious hallway. He turned to look at her, placing both hands on her hips.
“Study to your right, master bedroom to the left. Guest rooms on the next floor,” Finn told her, his eyes on her mouth. “Last chance, Bee.”
Beah placed one hand on his chest, the other on his right cheek. She slid her thumb over his full bottom lip. She didn’t need to think about this. She knew exactly what she wanted, and that was him. Above her, around her, in her.
“Take me to bed, Finn.”
Finn didn’t hesitate. He wrapped his arm around her waist and opened the door to his room. Beah’s attention was immediately caught by the view. How awesome would it be to wake up to boats bobbing in the blue-green sea? The sun was shining and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky and she felt like she could step from his bed onto the deck and from there onto a yacht.
Beah gestured to the view. “Wow, love the view, Murphy.”
Finn didn’t answer and when she turned her head to look at him, she immediately noticed the gleam in his eyes. Eyes that had yet to leave her face.
“Mine is better,” he solemnly told her. Beah felt warm and squishy, like she had when she was newly married to him, caught up in the romance and emotion of being appreciated by the man she adored.
Don’t go there, Beah. He’s not your husband anymore and no matter how wonderful he makes you feel, this is only sex, just sex.
This was an hour or two out of her day, not a gateway to something more, something important.
Don’t you dare forget that.
She had to stop thinking, so Beah sat down on the edge of his California king and pulled off her boots, then her thin socks. Conscious of Finn watching her, big arms crossed and biceps bulging, she stood up to shimmy her tight jeans down her thighs.
He watched her movements with those soul-melting eyes, his intensity raising sparks on her skin.
Beah
arched an eyebrow at him. “Are you just going to stand there?”
“I’m enjoying the show,” Finn told her, the corners of his mouth edging upward. She loved his half smile, half smirk; it was as sexy as hell. Finn rolled his finger, silently telling her to keep going.
Okay, if that was how he wanted to play it. Feeling sexy and dainty and oh-so-feminine, Beah turned her back on him, slowly pulling her cable knit sweater up her torso. She glanced out the window, wondering if she was giving the yachties a free strip show. Hesitating, she looked over her shoulder at Finn, whose eyes were on her butt. She briefly wondered if he liked her sunshine-yellow thong.
The huge bulge in his pants assured her he was liking everything.
That was all good and well but Beah had no intention of sharing this very private moment with anyone who happened to be looking out their portholes. She wasn’t into public displays of affection, and the idea someone might be watching made her feel creeped out.
“Can we have some privacy?”
“We can see out but nobody can see in. But I can lower the blinds if you feel uncomfortable.”
Trusting his word, and only dressed in a skimpy half-cup bra and the matching yellow thong, Beah walked over to the window and placed both her hands on the glass.
“Sure nobody can see what I’m doing?” she said, purely to tease.
She waited, heard rustling behind her but didn’t turn, knowing Finn was shedding his clothes. Beah shuddered when she felt Finn’s bare chest against her back, his erection pushing into her lower back, their skin separated only by the thin material of his boxer briefs. Then his big hands slid around her waist, one hand on her stomach, pulling her into him, the other moving up her torso, stretching his fingers to cover as much of her breasts as he could.
“You are so damn sexy, Beah Murphy.”
She wasn’t a Murphy anymore, but Beah didn’t correct him, not wanting to spoil the moment. A rose by any other name and all that. Besides, the time for words had passed. She now needed him to touch her, to taste her, to make her scream.
Harlequin Desire June 2020 - Box Set 1 of 2 Page 38
