by Frankie Love
She wipes her mouth, smiling—and, god damn it, she has the most gorgeous smile in the world. It’s soft and fragile, like she doesn’t know if it will last longer than this moment.
And maybe she’s scared it won’t. If she’s been with fuckers like Yuri, she’s probably terrified that the next man she’s with won’t know how to treat her right.
She doesn’t need to be scared with me. I wrap my arms around her so fast, unable to wait another moment to touch her.
“God, I want your pussy so fucking bad,” I tell her, my fingers grazing her opening. She whimpers at my touch.
“Then do it,” she says. “Fuck me, Jude.”
“I don’t want to hurt you. You’ve had a long night.”
“No, I had a shitty night. But then you came along, and you changed everything.”
“If I fuck you now, there’s no going back, baby. You and me, this is going to be more than a hook-up.”
“Good.”
Her eyes sear into mine, and I squeeze her ass before spinning her around. Her hands press against the tiled wall as she braces herself. I spread her legs with my hand, and reach between them, pressing a finger against her slick entrance. It’s not just the water—she’s so wet, so filled with desire for me.
My fingers dip into her folds, fluttering against her clit. She gasps for breath as I finger her softly. At first it’s slow, but then I touch her more aggressively, wanting to make her pussy gush, knowing what it’s capable of.
I press a second finger into her dripping gap, getting so fucking turned on by the way she moans.
“Oh, Jude, that feels so good. Don’t stop that, please,” she begs me. “Don’t stop, whatever you do. Don’t stop.”
“You like that?” I ask, my mouth hot against her ear. Our bodies are pressed together, but I want more. I want all of her.
I know exactly what she wants, and I press another finger inside her, then start moving—faster, faster, and faster still. I’m working her so hard that her knees knock against each other.
Her back is arched, and I run my hand over her spine, squeezing her ass. My other hand works her pussy up and down. She’s reaching climax; I can tell because her pussy is pulsing with life.
She’s moaning, her breath ragged, begging me to keep going. I pound her with my fingers. Harder, harder, until she tells me to stop.
“Just stop, Jude, don’t make me wait anymore. Just come in me. Now.”
I grin, and then I do exactly as she asks. I press my cock, still so hard and rigid, into her dripping pussy. She’s so ready for me after that finger-fuck, and I’m ready to plow into her willing cunt.
“Fuck me,” she moans. “I want it hard. I want to feel you in me.”
I lean against her, pressing my massive length into her.
“Jude, oh, Jude,” she moans. “Yes, yes, harder.”
“Oh, baby, you’re so fucking wet for me,” I tell her, pulling her hair as I push deeper into her. Just the way she asked for. Just the way I like.
I thrust deep inside her, rocking our world—or rocking whatever we thought was the world, because this is a whole new galaxy. We’re in completely uncharted territory.
“I’m so fucking close,” I tell her. “I’m going to come all over your ass.”
“Prove it,” she dares. “Prove how hard you’re going to come all over me.”
I push deeper against her, and she cries out. “Oh my God, oh yeah, oh yeah,” she groans, coming with me.
Her pussy is so tight around me, her juice running down her leg, the water washing it away. As I pull out of her, the shock of it causes her to press her cheek against the tiled wall, and she searches for breath.
I pump my come all over her wet ass. I cover her round butt with my milky come, and damn, it’s the most gorgeous sight in the world. Her, covered with me.
I finish, spin her around, wrapping my arms around her waist. With fingers grazing to her ass, I lift her up, onto me. She wraps her legs around me, squeezing tight, her wet pussy pressed against my still-hard cock. Her arms wrap around my neck, my hands holding her. The water rushes over us and our mouths meet.
But it’s no longer just our mouths—I swear, somewhere in the space of the shower, our souls motherfucking collide.
Chapter 20
When I wake the next morning, I’m in Jude’s arms, in my bed. Sunlight streams through the window, and I nestle deeper into the crevice of Jude’s body.
“Morning,” he says, kissing the side of my head as he draws me closer to him. I find myself smiling despite the early morning hour.
Looking at the clock, I see that it’s just barely seven AM, but I know from staying at his place the other night that Jude’s biological clock has shifted now that he’s become a father.
“You sleep okay?” I ask.
“Still tired,” he says, suppressing a yawn.
“Then let’s try to go back to sleep.” I smile lazily. “We’re in no rush. My mom’s not bringing Etta back until noon.”
Jude pulls me closer to him. “Should we talk before she comes back?” he asks, kissing my collarbone.
“Sure you’re ready for that? I feel like there’s still a lot to figure out before we have any answers.”
He kisses my forehead again, then rolls on top of me, his morning wood demanding.
“I’m sorry that Yuri came here.” He kisses me fully on the lips, then pulls back. “You deserve so much better than that.”
“I deserve someone like you?”
“Baby,” he says, shaking his head, “you deserve much better than me.”
“Jude,” I say my eyes open, savoring this moment of his weight on top of my body, neither of us fully awake to the day, but present all the same. “You’re really fucking hot, but you’re wrong about a lot of things.”
“Maybe, but I’m right about one thing.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
“You being good for me.”
He rolls a condom onto his hard cock, presses himself into me, and then we fuck until we fall back asleep.
A few hours later we wake. Someone’s at the door. My first instinct is that Yuri is back. I don’t know if he’s that stupid, but honestly, I wouldn’t put it past him. When he gets something in his mind, he’s determined to see it through.
“Catalina, open up,” Holden calls. He bangs his fist on my door, and a wave of emotions roll over me—at first it’s relief, but that quickly turns to fear.
“Shit, Jude,” I say, nudging him awake. “Holden’s here. Fuckity-fuck-fuck.”
“What?” Jude asks groggily as he sits up in bed.
I get out of bed and wrap a robe around my around me. Cinching the belt, I turn back to Jude. “Holden’s here. This is so not how I wanted this to go down this morning.”
“Oh,” Jude says, grinning. “I know how you wanted to go down this morning.”
I shoot him a dramatic look of disgust, but it’s poorly masked. Jude knows I would’ve preferred that, too.
“Well, Jude, you better be ready with an alibi.”
“I don’t think an alibi is going to cover the fact that I’m naked in his sister’s bed.”
I try not to groan in frustration as I walk toward the door, but I do. I hate that Jude has to come clean this way to his friend. I don’t care about myself, honestly; who cares that I’m sleeping with Jude? He’s happy, I’m happy. It could be a hell of a lot worse.
What I hate is that Jude has to come clean about Rachel this way. I know it kills him. And that kills me.
I unlock the door, swinging it open. “Morning brother,” I tell him. I can feel my fake cheeriness written all over my face. “I thought you were at some swanky bed and breakfast with your woman? She kick you out?” I try to be lighthearted, to cover the reality that Jude is in my bed.
“Yeah,” he says, his eyebrows raised. He’s clearly pissed. “I was having a really fucking great time, until some asshole shows up at my door a few hours ago demanding money.”
&nbs
p; I pull back, confused. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, you don’t know? Sounds like you and he go way back, Catalina.” Holden walks into my—scratch that, his—guesthouse, and looks around. “A guy named Yuri? Ring a bell? He told me he came here last night. Looking for you. Looking for me.”
“Looking for you? Holden, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“About Yuri? Or the money? Because Catalina, what were you thinking, not telling us about this guy? He’s serious trouble. He pulled a fucking knife on me.”
“Holy crap, really?” I know a look of horror is written across my face, because Holden isn’t playing around. Taking a closer look at him, I see that his eyes are red, his jaw tense. Something happened.
“Are you okay?” I ask. “Is Bexley?”
“Nice of you to wonder now. Yes, we’re both fine, thank God. She’s in our house showering. She’s pretty shaken up. Do you have any idea the damage he could’ve done?” Holden asks. “Catalina, this guy is dangerous.”
“Yeah, I know. Why do you think I ran away from him?”
“Fucking stupid, to not tell us a single thing about it. He came after me, he came after Bex. We could have both been stabbed.”
“What was he even doing looking for you? I don’t understand.”
Jude decides that this is the exact moment he should make his grand entrance. He’s slipped on his jeans, thankfully, but still—it’s ten AM, and we’ve clearly just gotten out of bed.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Holden asks, his eyes darting between Jude and me. His face is drawn with lines of confusion. “You sleeping with my sister?”
“I’m not just sleeping with her,” Jude says. “We’re—”
“We’re friends with benefits.” I cringe even as I say it, knowing it is not the truth. I don’t know what we are. Honestly, we’re not in any place to make something official. We don’t even know where Rachel is. My mom has his daughter. Yuri is coming after my brother with a knife?
What is my actual life right now?
“Friends with benefits?” Holden shakes his head in disbelief. “What the hell is going on? Where’s Rachel? You’re cheating on her? I get that your past has given you some hero complex, where you want take care of everybody, save everyone—but it’s not cool. Not with my sister.”
“Jude has nothing to do with you or Yuri. It’s all separate.” I shake my head, trying to collect my thoughts. “Holden, stick to the topic at hand. Give it to me straight. What did Yuri want from you?”
“He wanted money. Plain and simple,” Holden says, not the least bit amused by whatever is taking place here. Neither am I. “He said he wanted money or he was coming after you.”
“And what did you say? What did you do?”
Holden shakes his head. “Yuri is taken care of. What I’m really fucking confused about is my best friend and my sister.”
“I had no idea he would come after you,” I tell him. “I thought he wanted me.”
Holden shakes his head even harder. “Catalina, he never wanted you. He wanted to get to me.”
It feels like a knife to my own heart, and I’m ashamed that I even think this way, but I do. I thought Yuri actually came back because he wanted to control me … not because he wanted to rob my famous brother.
I’m more relieved than ever that Jude came when he did. If it had just been Yuri and me, he would have done whatever he wanted to get to Holden. I was a means to an end.
“Yuri’s a fucking clown. I have a bodyguard. He called the cops and Yuri got dragged down to the jail before he could do any serious harm.”
“He came here for me last night, I had no idea he was coming after you next.” I swallow my shame, hating that my mess with Yuri created a scary situation for Holden and Bexley. They don’t deserve that.
“Well, he did. And you can guess how confused I was, considering he was talking about his relationship with my sister. As far as I knew, my sister wasn’t in any relationships.” Holden snorts, looking at Jude and then me. “But I guess I was wrong on multiple accounts, wasn’t I?”
“Dude,” Jude says. “It’s not like that. Yuri came here last night freaking out. We had no idea he’d come after you.”
“You should have called the fucking cops. But both of you … I’m not saying you don’t realize the severity of a situation, but what the hell? Seriously, man—Jude, you’ve been in a fucked-up situation with Rachel for the last year and a half. Now you have her baby. And now, where is she?”
“She left, Holden,” Jude tells him. “She split town, high as a kite with no plans to change. So fuck you for judging Cat and me.”
“This is bullshit. I’m not the bad guy here. For a year, my sister is the hooker for some gangster, and then she sits here for six months pretending it never happened? And then, to top it all off, she starts fucking my best friend.”
His words hit so hard, and I try to hold back my tears. But it’s pointless to rein in my emotions now.
Holden isn’t done. “I don’t know what’s going on with either of you. And, honestly, right now I don’t give a fuck. I’m just glad Bexley’s okay.”
“And you’re glad that Catalina’s okay?” Jude asks coldly. “Right?”
“Yeah, of course I care that my sister is okay. But Jude, it looks like you got this all under control, don’t you? Like you always do.”
“What are you trying to say, bro?” Jude asks before Holden can walk away.
“I’m saying, Jude, you like being the hero, like fixing things for everybody else. Maybe it’s time you start fixing your own goddamn life.”
Holden leaves, slamming the door behind him, leaving Jude and me alone.
“Fuck,” I, say wiping the tears from my face. “I did not need to hear all that.”
“I didn’t need to either.” Jude exhales, but I know my brother’s words were cruel.
Still, I can’t help but wonder how much of what he said was true—because I know what he said about me was spot on.
I was Yuri’s plaything. I did run away and keep my lips tight, and that choice hurt everyone in the space of a day.
“Is Holden right?” I ask, biting my lip. “Are you just here because you want to swoop in and save the day?”
Jude shakes his head, adamant. He reaches for my hand, pulls my body to his. “No. When I met you, Catalina, I didn’t know you needed saving.”
His words are firm, but I feel the broken parts of me pushing him away. I want him to fight for me, but I feel myself pulling back.
“But I do Jude. I do need saving.”
My head is in a fog, feeling the weight of the words that Evangeline said at the beach yesterday, and the words of my brother, all of it hitting me squarely in the chest. Why does Jude want to save me, why did he want to save Rachel? What is he trying to prove by being a hero?
I don’t want to fight. I’m tired and confused.
I want to crawl back under the covers, go back to the early hours when Jude and I whispered in the breaking light of the morning. A few hours ago everything seemed possible. everything seemed like ours for the taking.
Now? Everything is heavy. The weight of everyone’s words bears down on us.
I hear a car pull up, and I look out the window, seeing my mom’s Subaru.
“Etta’s back,” I say.
Jude runs his hands through his hair, exhausted—the exact opposite of where he and I should be right now.
“Did you mean what you said to your brother, Catalina? Am I just a friend with benefits?”
I swallow, not knowing if I should say the truth. Because the truth seems like it’s just going to make things messier.
“I don’t know, Jude.”
He shakes his head, disappointment covering him. “I’ve got to get Etta home. When you’re done pretending this isn’t real, call me.”
He walks back to my room to dress, and I press my hand to my heart because it feels like it is breaking.
But how can
it be breaking when I never offered it to anyone?
Chapter 21
Leaving Catalina’s is hard. So much was said over the course of the morning, and I don’t know what to think of Holden after he spoke his mind. I want to be pissed at him, want to call him out for being an asshole. For treating Catalina like crap, for treating me like shit.
But I don’t operate that way, don’t assume I know anything about anyone. Because usually the truth is a lot more complicated than that.
Maybe I should’ve explained my whole backstory to Holden a long time ago, let him in so he understood why I act the way I do. Why I give, give, give until there is nothing left.
I don’t think I’m a hero; I know I’m no saint. I’m just a man trying to make my wrongs right.
As I bring Etta into the house, I decide that right now I just need to focus on our life. If Catalina needs time to figure out what she wants, fine. I’ll let her. I’m not going to push someone to be with me. And she doesn’t want my help, even though I’m willing to give her all I’ve got.
Etta looks happy, well fed, rested. Cat’s mom did a good job with her, and I’m grateful for that. Still, it’s been a long morning, and after I feed her a bottle I bring her into bed with me, nestle her in the crook of my arm, and let her sleep.
Clearly I fucked things up with Holden—and hell, I feel awful that all that shit went down with Yuri this morning. And maybe I fucked things up with Catalina, I may have scared her away by assuming we could be more than what we were. And apparently I can’t keep Rachel here, can’t get her the help she needs.
But there’s a lot I can do.
I can be here for Etta. I can let her nap on a lazy afternoon. I can put her to sleep at night, and pull up my laptop, and work on the script. I can do the best damn job on this film. Maybe I fucked things up with my friends but I’m not going to mess things up with my family.
Speaking of family … I know I need to talk to mine.
