by West, T J
THE TOUR HAS BEEN GOING great. We’ve traveled to the east coast, going from venue to venue, meeting new fans and having the time of our lives. Opening up for The Convicts has been a dream come true; Jax, Benny, and Will spoke highly about us and demanded we come on tour with them. It’s been epic working aside them, opening up their show. They convinced us to go on a major tour this summer with a bunch of other bands and artists. We’ll be going all around the country, including San Diego - Del Mar Fair. It’s going to be incredible.
Besides the invitation for touring amongst all this talent, we’re finally going to make a couple music video’s when we get back home. We’ve been waiting to do one ever since Shattered made the top ten. Lyric, June and Gary have really come through for us. They have done everything to help us succeed and it’s actually happening.
I want to celebrate with the one person I can’t be with. She’s not here. She’s not in my life anymore. How I am surviving without her, I don’t know. It was my choice to let her go, to be miserable without her. I’ve done everything to get over Harmony, but I’ve been doing a pretty shitty job at it. I thought time away would help me get over her - how fucking wrong I was. I almost hooked up with a few women here and there, but my heart was never in it. Every time I was about ready to kiss a really hot girl - boom! Harmony’s face, lips, smell and body came into my head. She’s like the tattoo on the side of my body - she’s permanently etched on my heart.
Weeks on end in this cramped bus with two horny guys, I can’t take it anymore. Plus seeing how happy Lucky and Faith are makes my separation from Harmony even harder. I thought I could do this, live without her. Every passing day seems to get harder and harder. However, there is just one thing that is standing in the way - me! I have to forgive her. I want more than anything to erase the invisible border that is keeping us apart. How do I do it though? Forget she ever lied to me? She played an insane head game with me, with one of my best friends. How do I let it go, put it to rest? It’s a fucking cold sore, blistering, bleeding - it hurts.
One late night I got my answer. I was up in my bunk, trying to get some shut eye. I couldn’t get any sleep. The rocking of the bus, the noise - the memory of Harmony’s moans, when she came for me, kept me up. Damn, she was a beautiful sight when she climaxed over my dick; her nails digging in my back, her pussy all wet for me, her screaming my name - Hell! I was hard all over again. I wanted to jack off from the memory. Instead I jumped down from my bunk and got a bottle of water. I was sweating and so frustrated with myself. I am one fucked up SOB; stubborn. Faith found me and sat with me in silence. She didn’t say one word to me. She was waiting for me to start the conversation, to tell her how shitty I was feeling. I didn’t want to confide in her. Though after several minutes passed, I gave up and told her. She listened, never judged. She encouraged me to read the letter our dad wrote to me. I had stuffed that letter away for so long I didn’t think I’d ever look at it. It was time to open my father’s ghost. Time to read his words. This was as good a time as any. I needed something, anything to help me get through this built-up pain. I needed answers. I went back to my bunk and dug up the letter.
Dear Daniel,
My one and only son. I'm leaving this world a better man, yet I have done a million things wrong in the past. I left you when you were only five, when I should have fought harder to keep you in my life. But mistakes happen and we do what we think is right at the time. I was married and had a daughter, Faith. I loved her with all my heart, but ruined our relationship by being too controlling for too long. I am not proud of my choices; having an affair with your mother is one of them, but when you came along I couldn’t regret it. You are my flesh and blood.
What I am trying to say here, son, is I apologize and have the deepest regret for not being there when you were growing up. Your mother was a wonderful mother and I wish I could turn back the clock and make things right with her and you. If I wasn't so caught up in power and money maybe I would have been in your life. Money isn't everything - remember that. Love is. Forgiveness is. Those two things will get you far in life.
Shortly after I found out I was sick I discovered you were in a band. Your mother sent me a video of you performing. In an instant I started crying. You may not know this, but I too was in a band, when I was a kid. I played the guitar as well. Unfortunately I was forced to go to college to get my degree in business. Years and years of regret of not following my dreams I became a jealous bastard. My jealousy ruined my chance at having a relationship with Faith's boyfriend, your good friend Lucas. Seeing and listening to you perform was like heaven to me. I never knew how talented you were and I couldn't be more proud of you. I am just sorry I can't tell you this in person. Know this, though - I do love you and wish you much success with your music. One day when you make it big, stay true to yourself, find that someone special in your life and share it with her. Share your success with her. She is out there. Love her and forgive her for her faults, as she will do for you. Life's too short to dwell on anything - don’t stay angry. Be happy.
Beyond this letter is a check in your name. You deserve every penny. You are my son.
With love,
Gordon Daniel Montgomery (Dad)
I was flabbergasted, speechless. So many thoughts were competing in my head, I assumed I was going to spin out of control; I was overwhelmed. My dad - a musician? What the fuck? One surprise after another, I couldn’t believe it! Is this finally it? Is the last piece to my puzzle finally put together? I had my answers. They were staring at me, they were never going away. It was as if my father had been in the room with me, guiding me along this whole time. I just needed his push. I knew exactly what to do now. It’s crazy to think I was actually waiting for his approval, to help me get rid of my anger. It’s all insane.
Harmony.
She’s been there for me, whether I knew it or not. I felt as though my dad sent her my way - to help heal me. It sounded so fucking sappy I wanted to puke, but I couldn’t ignore it. I needed to get her back. I wanted to tell her face to face how sorry I am, how much I needed her in my life. She made me happy. Time to forgive her and myself. Time to forgive my best friend too. He’s one sick dude, but he’s got a big ass heart. Damn bastard. Soon after, I opened the check my dad made out for me. I almost fell out of my bunk, the check was that fucking big. Twenty-five million dollars - in my name. HOLY SHIT! This had to be some kind of hoax, it couldn’t be right. I studied the check a few times to make sure I was seeing it clearly enough. Hell - it was real. With this check and the check I received from our music label…...I am filthy fucking rich. I didn’t know whether I should cry, shout out to the world I’m loaded, or sit here quietly and think about what I could do with this kind of money. I was so overwhelmed. How the hell was I supposed to go to sleep?
The next morning I was so tired. I didn’t get any sleep after reading my dad’s letter, and opening the check. I was up most of the night thinking about the money and how to get Harmony back. Before I knew it we were in Orlando, Florida.
I am one of the first ones up and ready to head out, but I wait until the guys get off first. I need to speak to Faith. I pull her to the side before she steps out. I’m not sure anything will work, but I have to at least try. "Look, uh, I need you to do me the biggest favor."
"Depends on what it is." She crosses her arms and winks. I know she’s just joking, but I am too serious right now.
"I know I shouldn't even be asking you this, but....." I exhale nervously, swiping a hand through my hair.
"Danny, tell me,” Faith urges.
"I need you to figure out a way to get Harmony here for the concert - like tomorrow."
She blinks in surprise. "Of course I'll help." Then she smiles.
"You will?"
"Danny,” she chuckles, “I've been waiting for you to get your shit together for months now, so yes, absolutely, one hundred percent, yes."
"Thank you." Damn, I feel so much better.
"Ok, so lets talk."
Once we head off the bus, and into the Amphitheater we initiate a plan, involving June, Helene and Melody. It’s a damn good plan. I just pray to God it works.
After a few hours of rehearsal we have a catered dinner and finally have some down time on the bus. Throughout the day there was never a good time to talk with Wayne. We got so caught up in rehearsing and press interviews I couldn’t pull him aside. Even though he’s now in the middle of playing a car racing video game, I interrupt him and Slim. "Bro, can we talk?"
Without looking up at me he says, “Sure, dude. Hold on one sec.” He takes his last lap and beats Slim. He smacks his hands together and yells out, “Wooo!”
“Shit,” Slim hisses. “Alright, who’s next?”
"I'll play!" Lyric speaks up.
"You play, seriously?" Slim is just as surprised as all of us that Lyric pipes in. We never would have thought she’d want to play; she’s usually stays within her said boundaries - never mix business with pleasure.
"Heck yeah! I have three older brothers and one younger sister. We played all the time.” She makes herself comfortable next to Slim, on the wide ottoman, then grabs a game controller and gets a wicked gleam in her eye. “Just so you know, I kickass at car racing."
Wayne and I look at one another. We smirk because Slim gazes at Lyric like she walks on water. I wonder if he’s finally met his match in video game heaven. "Well then, lets play darlin',” Slim says with a challenge in his voice.
Wayne and I step outside. It’s a bit breezy and less humid than when we arrived this morning; the cool wind on the back of my neck feels really good.
He crosses his arms. "So, what's up?"
I stuff my hands in my back pockets. "So, uh, I've had a lot of time to think about the shit that's happened......I still don't like what went down, but I'm ready to forgive and forget."
"I knew you'd come around.” He claps me on the back, with a big grin. “Thanks, man."
"To be honest?” I shrug. “Your fucking plan worked - it was twisted, but worked." I hated admitting that to him, but it’s time to let bygones be bygones.
"What about Harmony?"
I exhale. "I need to get her back, bring her down here and makes things right."
“‘Bout time! Hell yes!"
I am unexpectedly thrown into his chest for a massive hug. I can barely breathe, his muscles are so fucking enormous; he’s extremely strong. The dude works out way too much - I don’t know how he fits into those tight t-shirts he wears.
I’m finally pushed out of his overly tight hold and cough. Once I get my breathing under control I chuckle, "You're such a spaz.”
Before we go back inside the bus Wayne throws in, "Maybe get her sister, Melody, to come down too?"
I shake my head. "Shit, don't tell me you're screwing the sister?"
"She's one hot babe."
"Harmony will seriously kill you if you do anything to hurt Melody,” I warn him.
"I never said I was screwing her."
"Don't imply it then."
"I wasn't,” he retorts. “You just assumed I nailed her. Chill out!” Unfortunately, I don’t believe Wayne. He’ll do anything to get the next screw, even if it means sleeping with my girl’s sister. I have a feeling he already has. I let the subject go and follow Wayne back inside the bus. When we get inside Lyric is laughing and Slim is frowning. Wayne mumbles into my ear, "Looks as if Slim has some serious competition now.”
Looks like it, indeed.
I woke up nervous, could barely eat breakfast and played like shit during rehearsal this morning. I told Lucky and the guys what was up. They were all in with helping me incorporate our last song just for Harmony; in case she comes to the show, I wanted to be ready and prepared. I apologized to everyone. Lucky gave me an hour to regroup, so I went back to the bus and put my earbuds in, drummed to the beat of the music; letting it flow through my ears. I needed to relax.
Relax goes out the window when Faith comes onto the bus looking for me. “There you are!” She stands in the doorway. I take out my buds. “I came to tell you it’s all set. She’s coming,” she proudly smiles.
Fuck me, it’s happening. “You think this will work? I mean what if she backs out at the last second, then what?” I hate being such a pussy! I need to get a grip and put my balls back in place.
“Not going to happen.” Faith plants her ass next to me on the couch. “Her sister has a leash on her neck...she’ll be here,” she assures me. I fucking hope so, because this is my last chance at making things right. Bringing her here is the perfect way to do it. “You’ve come a long way, Danny. You’ve changed. Its good to see you have happiness in your future”
Whether I want to admit it or not, I agree. “Well, I read Dad’s letter. He said a lot of things that put my shit into perspective.” I bend over and lean on my knees. “What really got me was him being in a band.”
“I know, it’s shocking! Everything makes sense now - why he was so bitter. Though it still didn’t give him the excuse to treat Lucas like crap, but now I understand. I just wish he realized his faults before he got sick. Makes me sad.”
The energy between us becomes gloomy, so instead I think about tonight. “Me too, but it’s time to move on...let the past be what it is.”
Faith agrees and decides to focus on the positive. Soon after our talk we walk back to the Amphitheater. I am ready to rehearse and get my groove on. No time to sulk anymore. I need to focus on tonight, win Harmony’s heart back - I just hope she hasn’t fallen out of love with me. I am not sure I can handle losing her if she has.
Hours later I can hear the crowd from our green room. They’re ready for some action - I can’t wait to get started. I specifically held two spots in the second row just for Harmony and Melody. I want to be up close and personal with her when I make my small speech; I want to see her face and eyes light up when we sing to her. It will be the first time playing our new song, Because of you. I wonder how she’ll react to it? I wrote it just for her. Of course it was at the time when I thought her and Wayne were together, but all in the same, it’s her song. All because of Harmony I have started wanting to open up to people. No more pain or anger. It’s all about making amends, and most importantly - Love. I want to love Harmony, make her mine.
We’re up, pumped and ready to go. We do our normal huddle before we take our places; give each other a pep talk, then shout - JINKS! - at the end. The lights, smoke, and music begin as we start our introduction. The energy around the stadium never gets old. It’s exhilarating, surreal, magnetic, I still cannot believe we’ve made it this far. We’re here, actually living our dreams, doing exactly what we are meant to be doing - we are entertaining the world through our voices, instruments, lyrics and music. It’s badass.
I know exactly where Harmony is at. I take a quick glimpse at her as we start to play. The lights don’t block her out, thank God, because I got to see the most beautiful woman I ever laid my eyes on. I don’t want to be too obvious, I know she’s watching me, so I lay all my thoughts into the music and let the energy of the crowd suck me in. When we get to the very last song of our opening Lucky makes the announcement. “Orlando you rock our world!” The ladies scream for more. “Before we begin our last song, my bro here, Danny Jay -” When Lucky says my name the screams go insane! I laugh, and wipe my brow; I’m sweating like a pig. “He has something to say to someone who’s in the audience tonight - someone who rocks his own world. It’s all yours Danny-boy!”
Here it goes. Time to get Harmony back.
I take the mic and look straight at Harmony. I see Melody nudge her shoulder to get her attention. “Someone recently told me that all we truly need in life is love and forgiveness.” Harmony lifts her eyes up to mine. They are wide and so gorgeous. She’s in shock that I am speaking to only her. “It’s hard to see what’s right if front of your face when you are full of anger. I know better now. My life is not complete without Harmony. Harmony is music off my tongue.” I end my speech, start up
the song and not once take my eyes away from her. And not once does she take her eyes away from me. Lucky sings as I play along side with him.
“You’re all that I think about, yesterday and tomorrow
Heal the demons crawling through my soul, I am in deep sorrow
Take me to a place and time to gather my strength
I’m not sure how long you can keep me at arm’s length”
“My wall is tumbling down, crashing to the ground
All because of you, all because of you
My eyes are no longer closed, everything is so clear
All because of you, All because of you”
“Harmony’s tune is deep within my soul
I want to find that place to explore and make you my whole
Finding you with another man and in his arms, it’s crushing me
Crushing me to no ends, crushing my sanity, I am begging my plea”
“My wall is tumbling down, crashing to the ground
All because of you, all because of you
My eyes are no longer closed, everything is now exposed
All because of you, All because of you
Harmony….Music off my tongue.”
She had tears by the time the song ended. Hell, I wanted to jump down from the stage and take her in my arms. I never wanted to let her go. I saw her wipe her eyes right before the lights went out. We were being hauled off the stage and dragged back into the greenroom.
When we get into the room, I start to pace. I really hope she makes her way back here. I need to see her. The guys let me be as they start to wind down. I wipe my brow with the end of my shirt and shake off the fucking anxiety I am starting to feel. It’s been several minutes. Maybe she’s not coming after all? I want to punch a wall! Instead I walk out into the hallway and almost crash into someone when I turn a corner. It’s Harmony. I abruptly stop by placing my hands on her upper arms. We are now eye to eye, so close I can kiss her. She looks amazing and so fucking sexy I want to eat her up. I look her up and down; her little shorts are so short - holy hell - I swear her butt cheeks are on the brim of hanging out. Her legs are smokin’ hot, long and lean - so appetizing. I can almost feel them wrapped around my waist as I imagine fucking her. And I can’t forget her tits. I want to knead the nipples with my fingers, suck on them, taste them and feel them pucker up into little mounds. Damn, I’m getting hard. Say something to her, you moron!
