by Kristi Gold
“Then it is done.”
He kissed her thoroughly, hurling a spear of heat that settled in intimate places craving his touch. His tongue danced against hers, moving in and out between her parted lips. He teased and tempted her until she shifted restlessly beneath him.
Breaking the kiss, he pulled her up and worked the gown up and over her head. His expression was almost frightening in its intensity. She wasn’t necessarily afraid of him, but she was more than a bit apprehensive over the intense desire sparking in his eyes—worried over whether or not she would please him. What did she know about the art of lovemaking? Not nearly enough.
His features softened when he touched her cheek, his gaze roaming over her face, seeking, searching. If he expected to find some hesitancy there, he wouldn’t. She was determined not to let him see anything but longing.
“My Jamie,” he whispered as he touched his lips to her temple, her cheek, her jaw. Then he sent his hands on a mission down her body, lingering at her breasts, fondling her until she shook with the force of her need.
“You tremble,” he said. “Are you afraid?”
“No.”
“Do you desire more?”
To say no would be one whopper of a lie, regardless of her concern. “Yes.”
“Then lie back. Let me show you all the ways a man pleasures a woman.”
Lying down sounded like a great idea to Jamie. She felt as weak as a starved woman. In some ways she was starving—for Ben’s undivided attention. And she was getting it. Boy, was she getting it. His lips drifted down her neck then closed over her nipple. Her back arched as if it had a mind of its own, thrusting her chest upward, giving Ben better access. Slipping his hands underneath her back, Ben paid equal attention to both her breasts, and it was all she could do not to cry out from the pleasure.
Jamie couldn’t seem to stop shaking. She wasn’t the least bit cold, either. In fact, she was hot. So hot she could melt the mattress.
Ben sat up and straddled her thighs, then took a nearby pillow, placing it under her hips. He brought her hands up to his face and touched his lips to each of her palms. “I want to kiss you,” he said.
Jamie reached up to cup his jaw in her hands and tried to draw him back to her eager mouth. He wouldn’t budge.
“A more intimate kiss,” he said. “I do not want you to be afraid.”
She was more excited than fearful. Maybe a little of both. Did he really mean what she thought he meant? Only one way to find out. “Okay.” Her voice sounded small compared to Ben’s.
Then he lowered his head to nuzzle his face between her thighs, and she knew exactly what he had meant. The promise of a kiss like none she had ever known.
At the first intimate contact of his tongue on her vulnerable spot, Jamie’s hips rose off the pillow.
“Be still,” he said, his voice a gentle command.
Be still? How could she be still when her body wouldn’t let her? Somehow she managed not to move too much, even when he delved deeper, using his tongue, his lips, to drive her to the threshold of the ultimate insanity.
She couldn’t stifle the sounds leaving her mouth, sounds as unfamiliar to her as this act he performed with such tender persuasion. Lights flashed behind her closed lids. Sensations overtook her, not unlike those he’d created with his touch earlier that day, but more intense. He increased the pressure of his expert mouth until Jamie thought she might actually scream. Then the sensations overtook her as the pressure began to build and build, driving her toward release.
Jamie was totally captive to Ben’s will as he continued with his kiss. Nothing could prepare her for the ensuing climax. Not a book. Not her imagination. Nothing.
The moan left her mouth regardless of her efforts to stop it. It was as if she left her body for a time, yet she’d never been so aware of every wonderful sensation. She didn’t want it to end, but it did, leaving behind a slow dissolving heat and a sense of total euphoria.
Opening her eyes, she met Ben’s gaze and his crooked smile. Male pride, plain and simple. Some things were inherent in every man, regardless of their background.
“Did that bring you pleasure, Jamie?” he asked in that slow-burn voice that made her want to moan some more.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“Good. But I am not yet finished.”
The man had the nerve to touch her there again, and again she didn’t have the strength to fight the onslaught of feelings, nor did she want to. But before she toppled over the edge, he came back to her. She groaned in protest.
“Patience.” His smile came full-force. “It is not over yet.”
With that he pulled her closer to him. She felt the nudge of his erection, and braced her hands on his shoulders. She closed her eyes tightly.
As he began to enter her, he met the resistance Jamie knew would come with her first time. He suddenly stopped trying, and she kept her eyes closed against his scrutiny although she could feel his gaze on her.
“Jamie, please do not tell me—”
“Okay, I won’t.”
“Look at me.” His tone demanded she comply, forcing her eyes open. “Are you a virgin?”
“As a matter of fact…yes.”
He turned his face upward and released a heavy sigh. “Why did you not tell me?”
“You didn’t ask.”
He started to pull away, but she wouldn’t let him. “You finish this, Ben. I swear if you don’t, I’ll never forgive you.”
He studied her for another long moment. “Perhaps I’ll never forgive myself for abandoning good sense, but logic be damned. If this is what you wish, so be it. I cannot resist you.” With one hard thrust, he filled her completely.
Jamie winced and held her breath. Ben stilled against her, allowing her body time to adjust to his intrusion.
“You tempt me to hurry,” he whispered. “You feel so good surrounding me. Like velvet.”
“Then hurry. Please.”
It wasn’t the pain that had her wanting him to get on with it. The sheer power of Ben’s possession filled her with impatience. The pain had all but subsided, and in its place came a need so great she couldn’t even begin to understand it.
He moved slowly, withdrawing a bit, then sinking deeper inside her. “Am I hurting you?” he asked.
“No. Not anymore.”
His next move made her grit her teeth, not with pain but with intense pleasure.
“Did you feel that?” he asked.
Heavens, did she feel it! “What did you do?”
“I am searching for a special place.”
He’d found it all right. Again. Then his hands seemed to be everywhere as he thrust inside her. He touched her in places she didn’t know existed. With tenderness he took her higher, whispering words of praise. “My Jamie,” he repeated over and over, and for a moment she truly believed she was his. He had branded her with his body, and now claimed her heart in spite of her caution.
Soon she couldn’t think as she again embarked on another journey to sweet freedom. She didn’t know exactly how he was managing to draw another climax from her, but he was, and she really didn’t care how he’d done it. She only cared about how he felt in her arms, his power, his strength, his sensuality that called out to the deepest recesses of her soul.
This time, when she reached the summit, she cried out his name. And her name left Ben’s lips, too, before he shuddered then stilled against her.
Pure joy had long been absent from Jamie’s life, but now that joy had returned in Ben’s arms. She wanted to sing. She wanted to cry. She simply held on to him, stroked his thick dark hair, kissed his solid shoulder, took to memory everything he had given her. Try as she might, she couldn’t take back her heart. He possessed it now, just as he’d possessed her body.
Alima’s warning came back to her.
A woman who strives to lose her innocence may lose her heart to one who cannot give his in return.
Jamie called herself ten kinds of fool. She had fallen
in love with him—a man who couldn’t love her in return.
Seven
Ben had never been so satisfied in his life. Jamie’s fragile body fit perfectly to his, as if they were truly one. They had been one, at least for a few blessed moments.
Fearing he was crushing her with his weight, he moved to his side and regretfully slipped from her body. When he saw the glimmer of tears in her eyes, only then did he realize what he had done. She had told him she wanted this, but had she really known her own mind?
No. And he had acted on impulse, stolen her innocence. He had never bedded a virgin before, for many valid reasons, the most important being honor. He had learned during his upbringing that a man did not take something so precious without answering for his decision. His honor was now at stake, and only one option remained.
“We shall be married.”
Jamie sat up in a rush and pushed back against the headboard. “Excuse me?”
Ben sat up too, resting his arms on bent knees. “We must marry now. I have taken your virginity, and it is only right.”
Her eyes widened. “Now just a cotton-pickin’ minute, Ben Rassad. In case you haven’t noticed, this is a new century, and you’re in America. That old virginity-marriage clause is no longer in effect.”
Leaning over, he flipped on the bedside lamp. Seeing Jamie naked and flushed stirred his body to life again. He grasped the bed sheets and flung them across her body, covering all that temptation.
“I have told you I cannot change the way I believe,” he said. “And I believe I am now obligated to marry you.”
“Obligated?” Jamie clasped and unclasped a fistful of the sheet, a storm gathering in her green eyes. “I don’t marry out of obligation.”
“Are you certain? If I recall, you almost married Payune for that very reason.”
“You jerk.”
Ben wanted to take back his callous words. He wanted to tell her more, admit that he cared for her deeply. He did not know if what he felt was love, but he imagined it could be if given time. Yet he didn’t dare admit that until he was certain. His honor also bound him to tell the truth.
Her eyes clouded with unshed tears, and he cursed the fact he had put them there. But what could he say to convince her that his intentions were honorable? He would simply have to try. “I would see to your every need. I would make you my princess. I would give you everything you desire—”
“Except love.” She impaled him with her troubled green eyes. “But that’s okay. I don’t want your love. I don’t need your love. I don’t need anything, or anyone.”
“Then you will not consider my proposal?”
“Not on your life. People don’t have to marry this day and time because they have sex.”
“Make love.”
“In the absence of love, it’s sex,” she said adamantly. “I mean, women don’t have to marry even if they get pregnant.” Suddenly Jamie’s eyes grew large. “Oh my gosh. Pregnant.”
The word echoed in Ben’s ears. “Jamie, are you not protected against pregnancy?”
“How could I be? You’ve kept me cooped up in this house. And besides, it’s your responsibility, too.”
Ben had to admit he should have seen to that responsibility, but the thought had not entered his mind. This was not something he normally concerned himself with. “The women I have known in my country see to their protection.”
Jamie narrowed her eyes and glared at him. “Well, great. We’re not in your country, and I’m not one of those women. Haven’t you heard of condoms?”
“Yes. Of course. I wrongly assumed you might be taking the birth control pill. You were very prepared in your seduction, so why would I not believe you would be prepared to protect yourself against pregnancy?”
“Because I’m an idiot.” Jamie clutched the pillow to her chest. “This is just all I need.”
All the energy seeping from him, Ben stretched out and rolled to face her. “Could you be with child?”
She worried her bottom lip. “I guess it’s possible, but it was only once. Surely that counts for something. I mean, who gets pregnant their first time?”
He sought her gaze. “Many, I imagine, and all the more reason for us to wed. If you are carrying my child, you will be carrying another heir to my father’s kingdom.” And the son or daughter Ben had always secretly wished for, but never considered a possibility.
Jamie pushed off the bed, retrieved her gown from the floor, and slipped it back on. “I have no intention of marrying someone because I might be pregnant. And I sure as heck am not going to marry someone because I happened to lose my virginity to them during a fit of insanity.” She spun around and headed toward the door.
He sat up quickly. “Jamie, where are you going?”
She paused with her hand on the knob, her back turned to him. “To my room.”
He did not dare let her leave. Tonight he wanted her with him, for many reasons, the first being that he needed to ensure her safety. The second was much more selfish. He craved her nearness, wanted her curled up next to him until the dawn. Wanted to make love to her again and again, until they were both too exhausted to consider anything but each other.
Slipping from the bed, he caught the door before she could open it and leave. Both hands braced against the wooden surface on either side, he leaned into her and rested his face against the back of her head, drawing in the sweet smell of her damp hair. “Stay with me.”
“Why?” she asked without turning around.
“I want you in my bed.”
“You’ve already had me in your bed. Three times, last count.”
“Yes, but tonight was different.”
“You can say that again. And right now I wish I could take tonight back. I regret I’ve been so careless.”
Ben had no regrets about making love to her. He only regretted that he could not give her what she needed, a promise of love. He had built armor around his emotions for so long, he did not know if he could rid himself of it. But perhaps he could try, if she would give him the chance.
He ran his fingertips over her hip, then grasped her waist to pull her to him. “I need to keep you nearby. Keep you in my arms. Keep you safe.”
Jamie tried to ignore his low, whispery words, the feel of his arousal pressed against her bottom. She couldn’t, but that didn’t mean she had to do what he was asking. She longed to stay with him all night, but feared that by doing so, she’d give in to his demands and agree to his proposal. Agree to anything, for that matter. She refused to do that, give up her control. She wouldn’t marry a man who didn’t love her; she’d made that vow after Payune had called off their arranged marriage. She couldn’t commit to a stranger.
Ben was no longer a stranger, but he didn’t love her. Yes, he might desire her, but that wasn’t enough to build a marriage on. She wanted love. She wanted him to love her. Stupid, senseless fantasies.
Jamie didn’t dare turn around. Just one look in his dark eyes would have her melting like gooey fudge all over the carpeted floor. “I’m going to my room now. I need some space. Time to think.”
“To think about what I have proposed?”
“No. I need to think about where I can go to get away from here. Away from you.”
“You cannot leave until—”
“I know. Until you find this Klimt. I can find somewhere else to go. I know Lady Helena. She’s right next door with your neighbor, Matt. I imagine she’ll let me hang out there for the time being.”
Ben pushed away from her, muttering in Arabic with a severity she’d never before witnessed. “That will not be necessary. You may remain here, and I will give you your peace. I shall not touch you again. And damn you for what you have done to me.”
She heard the slamming of the bathroom door behind her, and moved into the hallway on rubber legs. The tears came then, slow and steady, falling down her chin and onto the floor. She welcomed them as punishment for exposing her tender heart to Ben. It wasn’t his fault; it was hers. She ha
d shamelessly seduced him, not once thinking about the consequences. Not once realizing that something as intimate as making love could be so emotionally overwhelming. Ben was right, it wasn’t simple, giving everything to someone.
Now he wanted to do the honorable thing and marry her. Make her his princess. No matter how much she cared for him, she couldn’t do that. Not unless he said the words she needed to hear—I love you.
Ben braced his hands on the sink and lowered his head. Turning on the faucet, he splashed cold water on his face, yet it did nothing to relieve the inferno raging inside him, or the terrible ache in his heart.
Jamie had given him her body without hesitation, yet she refused to be totally his. He could not blame her. She deserved a man who could commit all his heart. A man who knew where he fit into this world. He was not that man. Still, deep inside he wondered if she could change him. Show him this elusive emotion known as love. Love between a man and a woman.
He loved and respected his mother and father as a son should, but he was uncertain he could ever let down his guard and bare his soul completely to a woman, although tonight he had come closer than he ever had before. Yet Jamie would not marry him, or so she said.
What if she now carried his child? He must make her understand the importance of their union. But should she finally agree to the marriage, would he be doing her a disservice by thrusting her into a culture intolerant of strength in a woman? His mother had survived, with great effort. Jamie was much like her. He had seen what love had done to his mother, robbed her of spirit. Could he prevent that from happening to Jamie? The very thing that he admired most about her would be the one thing looked down upon by his people. Did it truly matter that much what his people thought?
Grabbing his pajamas from nearby, Ben slipped them on and walked back into the bedroom. He would go to Jamie. Talk to her again. Keep vigil at her bedside since she would probably not allow him in her bed. He still must remember his duty to her. He must guard her with his life. Tomorrow they would discuss the rest.
The bedside lamp and bathroom light shut off simultaneously. Instinctively, Ben’s gaze snapped to the security system panel attached to the wall near his bedroom door. No red light glowed to indicate that the alarm was functioning.
