by Kristi Gold
But she wasn’t here, and Jamie had to handle this alone.
She punched the bell and waited, impatiently tapping her foot on the wooden porch, clutching the envelope in her hand. Earlier she had longed to see him again. Thank him. Hold him.
That was before she’d found the notice in the mail from the bank stating an anonymous benefactor had paid off the note to the farm in its entirety.
Anonymous. Ha! Jamie knew exactly who had that kind of money, and she was about to confront him. If he was home and not off rescuing some other damsel in distress.
The door opened to Alima, a bright smile on her face. “Jamie, you have returned! I am so happy to see you.”
Jamie let go of her anger long enough to give the housekeeper a quick hug, then stepped back when she remembered why she was here. “Where’s the sheikh?”
“In his study,” Alima said warily. “Shall I summon him for you?”
“No. I think I’ll just surprise him.” Exactly like he’d surprised her.
Without waiting for Alima’s response, Jamie strode through the great room and down the hall to Ben’s office. She didn’t even bother to knock.
After throwing the door open, she found him sitting at his desk, a stack of papers before him. She slapped the envelope in front of him. “How dare you.”
He met her gaze with his serious gray eyes. “So you have come to see me after all.”
“I’ve come to tell you that I don’t appreciate what you’ve done. You had no right buying my father’s farm.”
He kicked back in the chair and propped his boots on the edge of the desk. Jamie tried not to notice his worn jeans, or the way his T-shirt strained across his broad chest when he braced his hands behind his head, the spattering of whiskers framing his sinfully sensual mouth. “I did not buy it. I simply paid off the note. Through my connections, I discovered the bank was in the process of foreclosing. Had I not put up the money, someone else would have purchased the farm and you would have lost everything.”
She already felt as though she had lost everything. First her mother, then her father. More importantly, she’d lost her heart to this man sitting before her, looking confident and cocksure and way too sexy to ignore.
Jamie’s pulse pounded in her ears. “I could’ve handled it myself had I known.”
“Do you have that kind of money?”
“No…I…” Damn him! “I would have found it somewhere.”
He slipped his feet from the desk and sat forward. “I have done this for you, Jamie. For your father. Can you not see that I care what happens to you both?”
She crossed her arms and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “You don’t even know my father.”
“No, I do not. But I do know where he is. I have spoken with him.”
Jamie dropped her arms to her sides and fisted her hands. “Where is he? How did you find him? I’ve asked everyone I know, and not one soul knows where he is.”
“As I have told you, I have the means to find anyone.”
Worry suddenly replaced Jamie’s anger. No matter what her father had done in the past, she was still concerned for his well-being. “Is he okay?”
“He is safe. He has been residing at a private treatment facility. A place in the southern part of Texas that aids those with alcoholism. He has been getting help for his problem.”
Jamie wanted desperately to cry, but she held back the threatening tears, kept her hurt in check. “Why hasn’t he been in touch with me?”
Ben stood and moved around the desk to face her. “He assumed you were married and living in Asterland. He used the money from the arrangement to pay for his treatment.”
Jamie felt both relief and sadness. She had very much misjudged her father’s motives. And she very much wanted to see him, to hug him, to tell him how proud she was of him that he was getting help. To scold him for not trying to contact her. “Will you take me to him?”
Ben rubbed a hand over his jaw. He wanted to do this for her, but he had promised her father to wait until he was ready. “He is not quite finished with his treatment, but he will be soon. I have made arrangements to return him here when he is released.”
Her green eyes flashed anger, deep and penetrating. “I guess you’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?”
How could he convince her that he had her best interest at heart? What could he say so that she would understand he still wanted her with every thread of his being?
Taking two steps forward, he touched her cheek. “I would very much like to report to him that he is invited to our wedding.”
“No.”
He took her into his arms, hoping he could weaken her resolve. “I am sorry. I do not mean to pressure you. All that I ask is for you to consider my proposal. I am willing to give you as much time as you need. I will see to it that the farm is put back in order for your father’s return.”
She wrested out of his arms and moved away. “He’ll want to pay you back. And I insist you let him.”
Ben’s frustration increased. “I will not deny him that. But it will not be necessary if he is in my family. I protect my own.”
A steady stream of tears flowed down her face. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want your protection. I don’t need your money or your gifts. What I need is—” She shook her head. “Never mind.”
“What do you need, Jamie, that I cannot give you?”
She swiped at her eyes. “I suppose you’ll have to figure that one out yourself.”
She slipped her hand in her jeans pocket and withdrew the ring he had so carefully chosen for her. Taking his hand, she placed it in his palm and closed his fingers around it. “Here. Maybe you’ll find someone else who can wear this. Someone who’s interested in your money and your station and your protection. That person’s not me.”
“I do not want it back.”
“Neither do I.” She turned away and headed for the door, but before she left, she faced him again. “The angels are beautiful, but I’ll be returning those, too.”
“I will not accept them. They are a gift to replace those you have lost.” And he knew in that moment he had lost her.
“Fine. Thanks. As soon as my father returns, he’ll be in touch about paying you back.”
“And you will not see me again?”
“I can’t, Ben. It’s too hard.”
He clung to the last of his pride, yet he must ask once more, but only once. “And you will not consider being my wife?”
Another rush of tears streamed down her face. “No.”
He strode forward but kept his distance although the need to hold her, kiss away her tears, lived strong within him. But he would not let her leave until he had said all that he needed to say. “Should you decide that you need me, for any reason, I will be here for you.”
“I appreciate it.”
“You have my word, I will not bother you. If you change your mind, then you will have to come to me, for I will not ask anything of you again.”
Then she disappeared out the door, out of his life.
He returned to his desk and sank into his chair. Tossing the ring aside, he rested his elbows on the solid surface and placed his head in his hands.
His chest constricted with the weight of his sadness, his remorse. He recalled his mother telling him that a shattered heart was the greatest pain anyone could endure, even a man. At the time, that concept seemed ludicrous. But that was before Jamie Morris.
Why could he not tell Jamie with words how he felt? He had been trained to be the best soldier. He had been groomed to be a proper prince. He had strived to be a learned businessman. Yet he had never been taught the ways of the heart, nor could he voice these strange emotions piercing his soul.
He had also learned when to accept those battles he could not win—and he could not win Jamie Morris.
That did nothing to ease the deep ache in his heart. No matter how long he searched, he would never find another woman who had touched him so.
But was he really so ready to give up this fight? His tenacity had seen him through difficult times. Would he simply walk away from something so precious?
He would have to consider that tomorrow. Tonight he had arrangements to make to return Jamie’s father to her. At least then he would have some peace knowing that she would no longer be alone. Unlike him.
You have my word, I will not bother you. If you change your mind, then you will have to come to me, for I will not ask anything of you again.
Jamie had spent countless hours thinking about Ben’s declaration, about him. Only moments ago she’d considered going to the ranch, telling him she’d been wrong. She wasn’t sure what she would say. All she knew was that she needed to see him again as much as she needed air.
But he wouldn’t want to see her unless she agreed to marry him. Could she do that not knowing how he really felt about her? She wanted desperately to believe he loved her. At times she truly thought he did. So why couldn’t he tell her?
She shook her head. When it came right down to it, she hadn’t told him, either. Maybe if she had, it might have made a difference.
The doorbell rang, and Jamie knew it was him. Prayed it was him. Now she would get her chance to tell him exactly how she felt. How much she loved him.
Slowly she opened the door, and discovered she’d been wrong. It wasn’t Ben at all.
Sheer joy replaced the disappointment when she recognized the man standing on her porch. A man who had meant so much to her for so long.
His neatly combed silver hair, his careworn face were as familiar to her as the town she’d grown up in. He stood tall, his body still straight and strong despite the fact he had lived the life of a hardworking farmer and had suffered the loss of the woman he loved more than life itself.
“Daddy!” Jamie threw herself into her father’s arms, hugging him tightly, crying some more even though she had mistakenly believed she was fresh out of tears.
“I missed you, baby girl.” He set her back but kept his weathered hands braced on her shoulders. “My, my, you are a sight for these old eyes.”
“So are you.” She swiped her face with the back of her hand and tried to look stern despite the fact she wanted to shout with joy. “You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, Caleb Morris.”
He dropped his hands from her shoulders, lowered his eyes and pushed up the sleeves of his faded chambray shirt. “Yeah, I know it. And I got a lot of apologizin’ to do, too. So if you’ll hear me out, I’d like to explain.”
Jamie closed the door behind him and showed him to the couch, taking her place beside him.
“Are you feeling okay, Daddy?” she asked with concern once they’d settled in side by side.
He smiled. “Yeah. Better than I’ve felt in a mighty long while. Haven’t had a drink in months.”
“I’m so glad. But you’re looking a little thin.”
“I could say the same for you. You’re as skinny as your mama when I married her.” Sadness flashed across his expression and centered on Jamie’s heart.
She hugged him again. “I know how much you still miss her, Daddy. I miss her, too. But she’d be so proud to know you’ve gotten help.”
He clasped his hands in front of him and dangled them between parted knees, surveying the floor. “You know, Jamie girl, I ain’t never held much stock in dreams, but your mama came to me in one right before I left. She told me to get on with my life in that voice she always used when I was late for supper.”
Jamie smiled at the memory. “I can just imagine that.”
“She mentioned you, too. Told me to take care of you. That’s why I did it.”
“You should have done it for yourself.”
He slowly met her gaze, shame in his weary blue eyes. “Not the treatment center. I meant the wedding arrangement. I wanted you to have a better life than what I could give you. I figured if you got out of this town and moved to that Asterland place, then you could finally have the fine things you deserve.”
Jamie spoke through another rush of tears. “Oh, Daddy, I was happy just being your daughter. I’d have found the money to go back to school eventually, at least after you got back on your feet again.”
“I wasn’t sure that was gonna happen at the time. I know now that selling you into marriage to a man you didn’t love wasn’t a good thing. But I also thought that maybe if you didn’t love him, you wouldn’t hurt so bad if you lost him.”
Jamie let the tears roll down her cheeks, unheeded. “I know now how bad that hurts, and I’m surviving.”
He studied her with questions in his eyes. “Are you talking about that young man, Ben?”
She had no idea how much Ben had told him about the relationship, but she assumed he must have mentioned something. “Yes, I guess I am.”
Caleb straightened and took her hands into his. “Are you in love with him, Jamie girl?”
This time she looked away. “’Fraid so.”
“Well, I’d like to say I’m sorry about that, but I’m not.” He tipped her chin up and forced her to look at him. “No matter how bad it hurt to lose your mother, I wouldn’t take back one minute I had in her presence. She was a gift from God, that woman. I have peace knowing she sleeps with the angels.”
“I understand that, Daddy, but I’m afraid Ben might not have those kind of feelings for me.”
He frowned, deepening the lines around his eyes. “Are you tellin’ me that man doesn’t love you?”
She shrugged. “He’s asked me to marry him, but he hasn’t said he loves me.”
Caleb let go a sharp laugh. “I didn’t tell your mama I loved her, either. Not for a long time. In fact, I believe I finally said so one day down at the creek right after…” He cleared his throat and a blush tinged his ruddy cheeks. “Never mind that. I just didn’t know any pretty way to say it. Guess I was a coward.”
“Ben’s no coward.” Jamie was shocked at how defensive she sounded. She steadied her tone. “I’m just not sure how he feels about me because he’s never really said.”
Rubbing his chin, Caleb stared off into space for a moment before returning his gaze to Jamie. “Well, now, I just spent the good part of two hours on one of them private jets with the man having a long conversation.”
Jamie’s mouth gaped. “Ben?”
“Yeah, and all he could do was talk about you, what a fine daughter I’d raised. I barely got a word in edgewise.”
“Are you sure we’re talking about Ben Rassad? Sheikh Ben Rassad?”
“He said his name was Ben. He had one of those curtains on his head and some kind of robe. Never seen a man wearing a robe ’cept at bedtime.”
“That would be him.”
“Well, since we’re talkin’ about the same man, I pretty much think that he does love you. If not, he’s got one hellacious case of the flu ’cause he looked mighty lovesick to me. Sounded that way, too.”
Was her father right? Hope welled in Jamie’s heart. “So he drove you over here?”
“Yep. After we got to Royal, he delivered me here himself.”
Jamie squeezed her father’s hands. “And he just dropped you off?”
“Nope. He’s downstairs waiting with one of his men. Said he wouldn’t come up unless you said it was okay.”
Jamie’s heart leaped into her throat. “I do want to see him. To thank him. But I don’t want you to leave—”
Caleb stood. “Jamie, I’m plumb tuckered out from the trip. I need to get over to the farm and see what’s what. Jeb and May Prentice have been seeing to the place for me, but I want to check it out myself.”
“You could stay here. I mean, is that a good idea, going back to the place—”
“—where I lived with your mama all those years?” He nodded. “I’m to the point now where I can deal with those memories. She’s still there watching over me.”
Jamie rose from the sofa and drew him into another heartfelt hug. “You’ve come a long way. I’m so proud of you.”
“I’m p
roud of you, too, Jamie girl. You’re the one good thing I ever did in my life. ’Cept for marrying your mama. Now I’m going to head on back and give you your time with your fellow.”
“Speaking of him, there’s something you should know about finances and the farm before you go,” she said hesitantly, afraid of his reaction to Ben’s gesture. Her father had an abundance of pride.
“You mean the fact your Ben paid it off?” Caleb grinned. “He told me about it. Said I could pay him back when I took in the first crop. I still have some of that Asterland fellow’s money left, too. Unless you think I ought to give it back seeing as how you didn’t marry him?”
Jamie laughed through residual tears. “No, Daddy. It’s yours to keep. Believe me, I earned it.”
His brows drew down in confusion. “How’s that?”
Jamie walked him to the door, anxious to see Ben now that her father was well on his way to recovery. “It’s a long, long story. Too long to tell you tonight. But tomorrow I’ll come by and fix you breakfast, then we can have a good long visit.”
“Okay, then. That sounds mighty good. That rehab place fed me slop I wouldn’t even offer the hogs.” Caleb leaned and kissed her cheek. “I’ll send your young man on up. I’m thinkin’ you both have lots to talk about.”
“Yes, Daddy, that we do.”
Jamie watched her father head away, his gait quick and determined, so unlike the man he had become after her mother’s death. She had so much to be thankful for. They both did. And she owed so much to Ben. She planned to tell him tonight. If he decided to come up.
Ten
Jamie leaned against the door for support and waited for Ben’s arrival. She was dying to see him, to hold him, to tell him that what he had done for her, for her father, was more than anyone had ever done for either of them. To show him how much he meant to her.
A few minutes later, a steady knock caused Jamie to push away from the door, her pulse pounding in her ears.
She opened it to find Ben standing on the threshold wearing his traditional clothes and a killer smile, holding a bag from Claire’s.
