The past came back to bite me, and you got caught in it, she thought, but she couldn’t force the words through her lips. She thought she’d dealt with the past, but Barnard’s talk of babies and adoption followed by Preacher’s reentry into their lives brought it all back.
“Serena?” Barnard said.
Her name on his lips brought her thoughts back to the present. “You think I like the way things are between us?” she asked, turning to face him. She placed her hand against his cheek. “I don’t like it, but I don’t know how to fix it.” Or I don’t have the courage to fix it.
“Going running won’t help.”
“Neither will arguing about it.”
“What about counseling then? We have to do something.”
Serena knew counseling wouldn’t help. Been there, done that, years ago. “Please, let’s not do this. Not now.”
“Okay,” Barnard said. “For today, let’s call a truce. Let’s not think about those things that separate us. No talk of Preacher or of babies. It’s just you and me.”
Preacher and babies, the two thoughts were intricately linked in her mind. “Think you can do that?” she asked.
He pressed a kiss against her lips. “I know I can. How about you?”
She wrapped her arms around his waist and held on tight, wanting more than anything to push away the demons that separated them. “I love you so much that it scares me sometimes.”
He pulled back and looked at her. “You have nothing to fear with me. I’ll never hurt you. Don’t you know how much I love you?”
She bit back tears. “I’m afraid that one day you’ll stop,” she whispered, holding him tighter.
“I won’t,” he said, even as the concerns Luther had expressed about his marriage filled his mind.
“I love you,” she said again, still holding tight to him.
“Show me,” he encouraged, backing toward the bed with her in his arms. When his knees hit the bed, he fell back with her on top of him. He pushed her hair away from her face. “I do love you,” he said.
She tried, but that was the problem. She shouldn’t have to try so hard. He didn’t know what was worse: no lovemaking or dutiful lovemaking. Both left him feeling empty.
Preacher speed-dialed Tanya’s cell phone number again when he reached his home and saw her car was not in the garage. He was beginning to get upset. He’d been calling her since he left the restaurant, and she hadn’t picked up her phone. Calls to her mother’s house went unanswered, leaving Preacher clueless as to where they were. Tanya finally answered on the fifth ring. “Where have you been?” he asked. “I’ve been calling you for the last half hour.”
“Hello to you, too, Preacher,” she said. “Momma and I took the boys to see some kids’ flick. ’Bout bored me to death, but they wanted to see it. I couldn’t very well keep my cell on during the movie, now could I?”
Preacher didn’t even suggest that she could have kept it on vibrate, which she used to do back in the day when she didn’t want to take a chance on missing a call from him. It seemed those days were long gone. “When will you and the boys be home?” he asked.
“We’re going to get a bite to eat first. We should be there in a couple of hours.”
“Why don’t I drive over and join you.”
“There’s no need for that,” she said. “By the time you get here, we’ll be finished anyway. I’ll see you in a couple of hours. You can wait that long, can’t you? Now if you have romantic plans for the two of us, I could put a rush on it.”
Preacher couldn’t help but smile. Tanya was nothing, if not persistent. “Just get home soon,” he said. “I miss you and the boys.”
“I know,” she said. “See you soon.”
Preacher clicked off the cell phone. He looked at the empty house before him and knew he didn’t want to go in because he didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts. He was a man with woman problems, three women to be exact: Tanya, Loretta, and Serena, and he had no idea how he was going to handle them. Tanya was totally out of hand, treating him like he wasn’t even there and had no say-so in their lives. Loretta couldn’t take no for an answer and Serena wanted him to disappear. He’d known he’d have challenges when he got out of prison, but he had no idea the first ones to surface would all involve women. He guessed his player days were catching up with him.
When he looked at his relationship with each woman, he knew in his heart he owed something to each of them. He’d strung Tanya along with the promise of marriage for more than six years. To be honest, he hadn’t really planned to marry her. He’d only given her the ring to shut her up and to keep her from aborting Jake. He owed her. He’d been Loretta’s only family for as long as he could remember. He’d taught her to lean on him, taught her that her life revolved around him. And now that he wanted out of her orbit, she wouldn’t let go. At least, not easily. He owed her. And Serena. Lord, Serena. He’d taken an innocent girl and made her a woman before her time. And when she’d gotten pregnant, he’d turned his back on her. He owed her. He owed them all and he had no idea how he was going to repay them.
Knowing he wasn’t going to come up with any answers today, he backed up the car and headed out with no particular destination in mind. Even though he missed his boys, he took great satisfaction in being able to drive down the familiar streets taking in the old and the new.
After driving around for about an hour, he got the idea of driving by Circle Autos and taking a look at some of the cars. He thought he might get an idea of how much cash he could expect to get from those money pits Tanya had bought. Ten minutes later, he pulled into the lot. It was closed, of course, so he was free to roam. He whistled at some of the sticker prices, realizing costs had certainly gone up in the short time he was in prison. He also saw a few new body styles. The new Chrysler really got his attention. She was a beaut! Now this car better suited the lifestyle that he and Tanya lived than did that Benz and Porsche she had blown money on. He hoped he’d be able to convince her of that. But even if he couldn’t, keeping those cars wasn’t an option. Simply put: they couldn’t afford them.
Preacher checked his watch and then looked around for a few more minutes before getting back in his car and heading home. Tanya still wasn’t back but he expected her any minute so he entered the main house instead of going to his apartment. To pass the time, he went into the den, turned on the computer, and surfed the Web, looking for used-car prices. In a short time, he found a site that gave resale prices for used cars. He was pleased to see he was even able to print out a price sheet to tape to the car window. He quickly printed one for both the Benz and the Porsche. Looking at them, he knew they’d be great conversation starters for him and Tanya. He smirked. Make that argument starters.
That done, he headed up the stairs, and since he was in the house alone, he took some time to browse the bedroom he had once shared with Tanya. The bathroom was the same, and so was her closet. Well, almost the same. He didn’t think it was possible but she had more clothes than when he’d left. He shook his head. Now she took up her space and the space that used to be his. How could one woman buy so much, much less wear it?
He glanced at the bed, and again, the memories flooded him. On a whim, he took a seat on the side that had been his and bounced a bit, telling himself he was only comparing the mattress to the mattress in his apartment. Tanya’s was definitely better. He checked his watch again and then he stretched out, just for a minute. He yawned, closed his eyes, and was soon asleep.
He slept and he dreamed. In his dream, he and Tanya were married and happy. She’d come to share his faith and they were finally one. No longer was he living above the garage and sleeping alone. Now he was sleeping with his wife. And their loving was so much better than it had been in the past.
“Wake up, sleepyhead,” Tanya’s silky voice whispered.
Preacher’s eyes fluttered open and he saw her standing before him clad in nothing but her bare loveliness. She was even more beautiful than he remembered.
“You were waiting for me, weren’t you, Preacher boy?” she purred as she slipped in next to him. “I’ve been waiting for you, too,” she said, pulling his mouth to hers.
“I love you, Tanya,” he whispered before losing himself in her kiss.
“I love you, too, Preacher,” she whispered back. “And I love what you do to me.”
Her softness in his arms coupled with his long-term celibacy made their celebration of love that much more explosive. Loving her was wonderful, holding her close afterward was even better. Preacher closed his eyes, fighting back reality, but his eyelids fluttered open.
“I knew you couldn’t hold out against me,” Tanya said, looking down at him.
Preacher blinked a few times. “Tanya?”
She grinned. “Who did you think it was?”
Preacher pushed her away and sat up in the bed. “This shouldn’t have happened.”
“I’m not complaining,” Tanya said. She lay back, her hands folded under her head, and winked at him. “I guess you do still like women.”
Preacher closed his eyes as the realization of what he had done, had wanted to do, and had enjoyed doing, washed over him. Forgive me, Lord.
“Please don’t tell me you’re feeling guilty,” she said.
“I wanted to wait until we were married, Tanya. I wanted to show you and the Lord that much respect.”
She leaned up on her knees and kissed his ear. “Hey, you can disrespect me like that anytime.”
Disappointed in himself, he pushed her away. “Stop it, Tanya.”
“I think it’s too late for that now, Preacher. As the old folks say, the horse is already out of the barn.”
As Tanya laughed at her own joke, Preacher reached around the bed for his clothes and hastily tugged them on. “Forgive me, Lord,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to.”
Tanya laughed harder. “Sure did seem like you meant it to me. I’m not too sure God’s going to fall for that excuse. You might want to come up with something else.” She snapped her fingers. “I’ve got it. How about ‘The devil made me do it’?” She fell back on the bed, laughing at her own wit.
Preacher found nothing funny. Dressed, he slipped into his shoes.
“Where are you going?” Tanya asked. “You’re not being much of a gentleman if you’re going to leave without saying thank you or good-bye or something.”
Preacher couldn’t even look at her, his guilt was so strong. “I’m going to see the boys,” he said, heading for door.
When he pulled it open, she said, “They’re not here.”
He turned to face her. “What do you mean they’re not here? Where are they?”
Tanya lay back in the bed. “They’re at my mother’s.”
“What?”
“You heard me. They’re at my mother’s. She keeps them for me.”
“What are you talking about? I want my kids at home. You know that. Why did you leave them at your mother’s?”
“Because I have to work, Preacher,” she explained. “And I can’t afford a sitter. We can’t afford a sitter.”
“Work? You? Since when?”
“Since my man became unable to support me.”
He strode back to the bed and stared down at her. “What are you talking about? Where are you working and when did this start?”
“I’m back in the salon every day,” Tanya said. “Somebody had to bring money into this house. Since you couldn’t, Loretta and I had to step up. You’d better be glad you have hardworking women in your life. Some women would have left you when you got locked up, but not me and Loretta. We stuck by you. And how do you show your appreciation? You kick Loretta to the curb and you pooh-pooh everything I’ve done. From the cars to the job to the boys to my wanting to love you. Well, I’m doing the best I can do. We all are. Too bad you’re too perfect to see it.”
Preacher dropped down on the side of the bed. “I’m not perfect, and I’m not pretending to be. But there are some things that I know are right and some things I know aren’t.”
“And what happened in this bed between you and me is not right? I give myself to you, to show you how much I care, and you take it and then you throw it back in my face. How do you think that makes me feel?”
Preacher thought he saw tears in Tanya’s eyes, but he couldn’t be sure. She was such a player and an actress that he found it hard to believe her words were sincere. “I’m not throwing anything back in your face. I just wish you would work with me instead of against me.”
“Yeah, right. What you mean is that I should do what you tell me to do. Well, that’s never been me and it’s never going to be.”
Maybe she was right, Preacher thought. She really hadn’t changed; he had. And now he expected her to fall into line with his change. “I want the boys back home,” he said. “We can take care of them.”
“How? You’ll be working and I’m working. How are we going to take care of them?”
Preacher didn’t have an answer. “I want them home.”
Tanya folded her arms across her chest. “You can want them home all you want, but until you can put some dollars on the table to pay for their child care while we work, they stay at my mother’s. Thank God, she’s willing to keep them. She gets joy out of it, always has, so I don’t see any reason to change things now.”
Preacher didn’t like Tanya’s defiant attitude and he searched for the words to put her in her place. “Look,” he said, seizing upon the one thing he had going for him, “we’d have the money if we got rid of those cars. They’re too expensive. We’re putting them up for sale tomorrow and we’re going to get our kids.”
The look Tanya gave him told him that she didn’t appreciate his command. “You can sell the Benz but you’re not selling my Porsche.”
“We’re selling them both and you’re getting something less expensive. You never should have bought them in the first place. What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking I was about to marry a man on the move and I ended up with a jailbird. That’s what I was thinking.”
Preacher took a deep breath. “Tomorrow the boys come home and tomorrow the cars go up for sale. You can get something less expensive, but those cars go tomorrow.” He turned and headed for the door.
“I hate you,” she said, flinging a pillow at him. “I wish you’d stayed in prison.”
Preacher ducked. Then he forced himself to leave the room before he said something he’d regret. “Tomorrow,” he said. “My boys come home tomorrow.”
CHAPTER 8
Feeling guilty about his inability to resist Tanya for even a week, Preacher endured a restless night. When he got up the next morning, he knew he had to take charge of his household situation and he knew where he had to start. After taking a quick shower and a few minutes for his morning meditation, he headed out to get his boys. He didn’t bother letting Tanya know his plans for fear she’d call her mother. An unprepared Maylene would be easier to deal with.
He pulled into his mother-in-law’s driveway about thirty minutes after leaving home. He got out of the car, and surveyed his surroundings. Maylene had done a good job keeping the place up. The yard was alive with colorful flowers and the lawn was immaculate. Yes, Maylene had transitioned well from her apartment in Perry Homes, one of the oldest and most dangerous housing projects in Atlanta, to her four-bedroom ranch in a middle-class South DeKalb neighborhood. Preacher knew Maylene was living better than she’d ever lived, and Maylene knew it, too. She’d never admit it though. Just as she’d never admit that it was “drug money” that bought the house, the furnishings, and the car she drove. She told herself the money Tanya gave her came from the salons she and Tanya ran. What a joke that was! The money that started those salons was the same drug money that bought the house.
He rang the bell and waited. Maylene peeped out the sidelights, frowned, and then pulled open the door. Instead of inviting him in, she stepped out.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, in the same ton
e of disdain she’d always used with him.
“Good morning, Ms. Maylene,” he said.
“Don’t play games with me, Wilford,” she said. Since she learned of his drug-dealing ways, she’d refused to call him Preacher. “I want to know what you’re doing here.”
So much for good manners, Preacher thought. “I’m here to get my boys.”
“Those boys aren’t going anywhere.”
Preacher prayed for strength. “They’re my boys and they’re coming home with me.”
Maylene folded her arms across her stomach. “What does Tanya have to say about this? She’s their mother and she left them here with me. God knows, they don’t need to be with you. There’s no telling the kind of people you’ll have around those boys. You’re not fit to be a father.”
Preacher took a deep breath. “That may have been true at one time, but it’s not true anymore. I’ve changed, Ms. Maylene. I’ve decided to live my life for God.”
Ms. Maylene spat. “Please. Everybody who goes to prison finds God. Who you trying to fool, boy? I wasn’t born yesterday.”
“I did find God,” Preacher said. “My life has changed.”
“Tell that to your probation officer, but I know better. Jailhouse conversions are a dime a dozen, Wilford. First, you go around calling yourself Preacher and doing every evil thing a person can think of. And now you’re talking about a conversion. Boy, you better be glad God doesn’t strike you dead.”
Preacher gave up. There was no explaining anything to Maylene. “I want to get my boys,” he repeated. “Are they up?”
“They’re eating breakfast,” she said.
Preacher moved around her to enter the house but she caught him by the sleeve. He looked down at her hand on his arm and then back up at her eyes. “Don’t forget who paid for this house,” he told her, hating to go there, but seeing no other way.
Up Pops the Devil Page 10
