He looked a little embarrassed, "Well, you remember when we first met and you told me you liked them?"
I nodded warily.
"Well… I may have already known that they were coming to Portland and I got the tickets a week later."
He looked so adorable when he was shy and he leaned against the counter and tapped his fingers nervously. His other hand brushed through his hair and gripped the back of his neck.
"So you are telling me that you have had these tickets for almost three months? You hardly knew me then," I said and almost melted into a puddle on the floor.
"I knew enough," he said huskily and his eyes locked with mine.
I felt a crackle in the air between us and my chest filled with warmth. No wonder I loved this man.
"Andrew," I breathed.
"I don't know if you noticed, but the show is tonight. I already asked Maddy to watch Liv."
I looked back down at the tickets to see the date. Sure enough, it was for tonight. "So she knew about this, too?" I folded my arms across my chest and glared at him.
"Yeah, and she was sworn to secrecy. I threatened to tell Ty about her bed wetting problem in the 6th grade if she even hinted at anything and believe me, she came really close."
I laughed hard and clutched the tickets to my chest. "You are incredible, you know that?"
"I've been told that before," he said as he stalked toward me. I backed myself up against the sink and he wrapped his strong arms around my waist. "But it never sounded as good on any other lips." His hard, lean body pressed me into the counter and he kissed a trail from my temple to my lips and back up the other side sending shivers down my spine.
When he pulled away, I groaned in frustration at his ability to stay in control. I was two seconds away from throwing him down on the floor and relieving this ache I had been feeling for so long.
"How about you go up and take a nap so you can be rested for tonight. I'll take Olivia over to my place and watch a movie with her."
His suggestion sounded tempting and it helped to shake out my dirty thoughts, but I shook my head. I had woken up to a wonderful day with him wrapped around me. I didn't want to sleep when I could be spending that time with him and Olivia.
"Joss, I haven't been very accommodating this week. I've kept you up way too late and I want you to enjoy tonight, so go take a nap."
I thought of the dizziness I had been feeling the past week and how Ben was calling me every day, twice a day, since I told him. He had offered to come and get me and Liv and bring us back to Seattle, but he knew the last thing I should do was go backwards and that I had Andrew. He kept reminding me that I promised him I would be strong and I would be happy. A promise I made before I moved away from him. The conversation ran through my mind.
"Ben, whatever happens, just promise me--"
"Stop it, Joss. You are going to get through this. You have been doing so well. Just stay positive." He kissed my forehead and gave me his famous bear hug. "Be strong for Liv."
"I am trying to be, I really am. And I'm going to give her a good life for as long as I can. Just promise me that you will make sure she is taken care of. I know that you and Linda would take care of her as one of your own, but I don't want him to affect her… just don't let my little girl suffer because I couldn't fight this. Just make sure she knows how much I love her."
"Enough! Olivia is going to have her mother with her for a long time. She is going to know how much you love her because you are going to be able to show her every day." He looked down at me with the love only a brother would have for his sister. "And you are going to meet someone who loves you more than his own life. Someone that will erase the memory of David away forever. He is going to be the father that Liv deserves and the man you deserve. Got it?"
I nodded and blinked back the tears that threatened to fall.
"Promise me, Joss. Promise me that you will take care of yourself and stay strong through all of this and you will remember to keep yourself happy. No matter what. For Olivia and for you."
"I promise."
"Jocelyn?" Andrew's voice was anxious and I realized that I hadn't said anything. I looked up into his eyes and saw the man that Ben had told me about. The man that Olivia deserved and the reason I had been able to keep my promise to Ben. Andrew had made me strong and kept me happy. He was the reason I had been given a little more time, I knew it. I wasn't going to darken that time, yet. Not until I knew exactly what the future held.
"I am going to go take that nap," I said and kissed him gently. "Will you wake me up in a couple hours?"
His lips hovered just above mine and he grinned, "Of course. Do you have a preference on how I wake you?"
"Mmmm hmmm," I hummed against his lips. "With you wrapped around me again."
"Done."
His lips crushed mine and his hands moved downward and cupped my behind, pulling my hips against his and making me hiss out a breath. I wanted him so badly, but I was nervous to take that next step. It had been so long and I wasn't sure I even remembered how to do it. I'm sure I could figure it out again, but I was still worried.
Monty started to whine quietly from behind Andrew and Olivia's voice called from the corner of the kitchen where she was playing.
"Go ahead and rest. I'll get you in a couple hours."
I walked passed him with a smile plastered on my face that I knew wouldn't go away anytime soon.
***
The nap was peaceful and very much needed. Andrew woke me with his arm wrapped around my waist and kisses up and down the back of my neck. Olivia was in her room flipping through her books and apparently they hadn't watched a movie because she was too busy wrestling with him and running back and forth with Monty in the back yard.
"I think she is pretty tired, but I thought maybe we should feed her some lunch first," he said as he nuzzled my neck.
"What time is Madison coming to get her?" I trembled when his hand traced circles down my arm and back up passed my shoulder, leaving a burning trail in its wake.
"I can have her come right now if you want," he taunted. "Otherwise, she will be coming at 4:30."
I turned in his arms and pressed my palm flat against his firm chest. "And after the concert? What were your plans?"
I hadn't been able to get my mind off of him and how he had touched me that morning, which led to me wondering what was going to happen tonight and picturing all types of scenarios. Needless to say, I had some good dreams during that nap.
He kissed the tip of my nose and pressed his forehead to mine. His breath smelled minty and sweet and I resisted the urge to take another small taste of him.
"It will be pretty late by the time we get back. If you are okay to leave her overnight with Maddy, she is prepared to keep her, that way we won't have to risk waking her up to bring her back. Might be nice for you to get a little more rest, too. I know you've been working every chance you have gotten this week and… I haven't really let you get to bed at a decent hour the last several days. It's up to you."
I thought about that for a minute while he ran his hand up and down my back and through my hair, making the circuit several times before I forced myself to focus. It would be nice to have some extra alone time with him. I would miss Liv like crazy and most likely wouldn't get much rest without her at home, but it would be too hard to pick her up so late and get her into bed for the night without waking her up and if she did wake up, it would be an even longer night.
Plus, I had a feeling that one of the hundred scenarios I had thought about would play out. At least, I hoped one did.
I hadn't been with anyone since Olivia was conceived and it had never really crossed my mind or been an issue until Andrew. He never pushed me into anything unless I gave him the invitation and so far, the most skin he had touched on me was touched just this morning. I always kept myself modest for the most part and not because I really wanted to, but after being pregnant, my body had never really returned to its original state. I had exercised o
ften at first, but stopped as Olivia grew up and took more of my attention. It wasn't horrible, I just had extra curves here and there that I wished I could erase.
I thought of that bitch, Megan, and what she had looked like. Big breasts, long legs, tiny waist. I hated to admit it, but she was what most men would call sexy. I was not.
What if he saw me naked and wished I looked like her instead? What if it was awkward and he was disappointed?
No, don't do this to yourself. You don't even know if he is planning on--
"Jocelyn? If you are wondering what I am expecting if we don't pick Liv up tonight, the answer is nothing. I know that we have been trying to take things slow and I will continue to go slow for as long as you need me to. It might be nice to spend some alone time together, see what we come up with…" his words trailed off, but I got the gist of what he was trying to tell me.
I wasn't going to worry about anything tonight. Whatever happened, would happen because both of us wanted it, and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted it.
"Okay, why don't you let Madison know that she will have Olivia all night. I can pick her up in the morning after she wakes up." I felt him tense for an instant and questioned whether he was nervous about what may happen, too. I had seen most of his body before. Whenever we went to the pool, I had to wipe the drool off of my chin when he removed his shirt and envisioned beating every staring woman to a pulp. He was like a God with that body, so he had nothing to worry about. He worked out a lot and anyone with eyes could tell. His abs alone could probably cut glass…
He brushed his lips over mine and tangled his fingers in my hair. "You sure?"
I grinned and looked into his ocean blue eyes. Maybe tonight I would get to touch those abs, or even lick them the way I had imagined. "Yes, I am."
He nodded as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Olivia walked into the room with one of her books and brought it over to me.
"Book, peez. Lion, raaar."
I looked at the book and saw that it was her animal book that Andrew had found several weeks before. She loved when he made all the sounds because he did it so loudly. She already knew most of the animals and the sounds they made, but after he got her the book, she was now a pro at every single one in there.
Andrew would take care of her as if she were his own.
I shook the thought from my head. Not the time to think those things.
He was already saying goodbye to Madison by the time I climbed out of the bed and lifted my sweet girl into my arms. "Let's go read this downstairs and I can make you some lunch."
I heard Andrew talking to Monty in my room as I made my way to the stairs. I don't think he realized that I was still within hearing distance.
"What do you think, boy?" he said, "Should I tell her tonight?" Monty made a groaning sound and I imagined that he was getting his ears scratched. "You okay with me taking care of her now?"
My heart thumped wildly and I hurried down the stairs as quietly as possible. After a few seconds, he made his way down to the kitchen and stood in the doorway watching me make some lunch. I felt his gaze on every inch of my body and my stomach fluttered wildly at the thought of what might happen tonight.
I was ready.
Chapter 10
Andrew
The drive to Portland was quick and Jocelyn spent most of the ride asking what Olivia had done while she was taking a nap. She hated to miss any time with her and I told her everything in great detail. Liv had been going through a growth spurt and was a little more active than what was normal, which was a lot anyway.
She called Maddy after we had dinner and checked in. Olivia got on the phone and talked to her for a minute and the pride in Jocelyn's eyes was unparalleled. This was the first time she would be without her overnight and I knew it was going to be hard on her. It was hard for me to be this far away from her.
When we found our seats for the concert, I entwined my fingers with hers and brushed my lips across her knuckles. "Are you excited?"
She nodded excitedly and bit her bottom lip, which only made me want to get this concert over with as quickly as possible so I could do that for her.
"Yes, I am."
"Good. You know," I said close to her ear, "you look absolutely beautiful tonight. I don't know how to keep my hands off of you."
She flushed and looked down at her hands. She was wearing dark jeans with a long sleeved black blouse that hugged her waist and was unbuttoned enough to be distracting. She didn't see herself the way I did, but I would make sure to spend the rest of my life trying to fix that. Her ex-husband deserved to be tied to the back of a horse and dragged across the country, and then some.
I wish I would have known the Jocelyn before him. Then I thought, I may not know who she was, but I know who she is. I love who she is. That's all that mattered.
She continued to stare down at her hands and had started picking at her nail polish. She was nervous and I knew that she was thinking about later. I hooked my finger beneath her chin and tilted her face to look at me.
"Hey, whatever you want is yours, you know that right? Let's just enjoy each other and not think about anything else tonight, okay? Just know that you are beautiful and I have every intention of reminding you of that every day."
Her eyes welled up with tears and one fell down the smooth skin of her cheeks. I wasn't expecting her to get emotional and for a moment, I worried that I had said something wrong. Then, she smiled.
I brushed the tear away with my thumb and held her gaze. Her beautiful chocolate eyes made me helpless and my entire body hummed with awareness of her. The words I wanted to tell her so desperately came to the surface.
"Jocelyn…I lo--"
The sound of a banjo came loudly through the speakers and the crowd went crazy. We were still face to face and all I could do was smile down at her and kiss her full lips, hiding the disappointment I felt. Her eyes were dark and searched mine, pleading with me to say what I so desperately needed to say, but the moment wasn't right. I leaned into her ear and felt her shiver, "Enjoy the show, babe."
She sang and danced and hugged me when one of her favorite songs was played, kissed me after every song, and made me fall in love with her all over again. It was great to see her so carefree and having fun. I know she loved every minute with Olivia and she wouldn't trade it for the world, but I could tell that she needed this kind of thing in her life, too. She had sacrificed so much to be where she is today, I only hoped that she wouldn't have to sacrifice anymore.
When the band finished and the crowd started to disperse, we stayed seated, holding hands with her head on my shoulder.
"Thank you, Andrew. This has been a wonderful night. I can't remember the last time I have had so much fun."
I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple, "Good."
"Should we go?" she asked as she looked around the stadium.
"Only when you're ready."
The corners of her mouth twitched and she stood, pulling me up with her. "I'm ready."
***
When we pulled up to our houses, it was well after midnight. Jocelyn had dozed off the last 10 minutes of the drive and was still sound asleep. I took the opportunity to gaze at her. Her eyelashes fanned over her cheeks and the line of her jaw leading down to her soft neck was more than a little tempting to kiss. I wanted to sit there and stare at her forever, but she stirred and opened her eyes.
Her sleepy voice was the sexiest thing I had ever heard, "How long have we been home?" She rubbed her eyes and straightened in her seat.
"Just a couple minutes."
"Oh." She snatched her purse from the floor of the car and reached for the door handle, but paused. "Do you want to come in?"
My heart beat rapidly and I pictured every possible outcome of the situation before I finally spoke. "Only if you want me to."
"I do," she replied almost instantly.
I smiled at her and she smiled back, but we didn't move. I studied h
er face and my eyes roamed down to her neck where I could see the rapid beating pulse at the base. She was just as nervous as I was. My eyes flicked back up to hers and the look she gave me… "God, Jocelyn. You are so beautiful."
She didn't look away, but a blush crept up her neck and covered her face as she smiled shyly. "Let's go inside."
We walked up to her door and I let her unlock it. For the first time in my life, I had absolutely no idea what to do with a woman. She made me question anything I had ever done before and the last thing I wanted to do was screw this up. Monty was there to greet us, his tail wagging wildly and his ears pressed back, he seemed to be yelling at Jocelyn with all the noise he was making.
"I know, buddy. We left you all alone in the dark. I deserve everything you have to throw at me, but can we wait until morning?" she said and scratched his chin.
He whined a few seconds longer and then groaned in agreement.
"I'll never get over that," I muttered.
"Get over what?"
"Him acting so… human. I swear, just the look on his face tells you what he is thinking. It's incredible."
She chuckled and flicked the light on in the kitchen. "You thirsty?"
I cleared my throat and sat down at her small table. "Yeah, I am."
None of it was awkward. If anything, it was extremely comfortable except that my heart was about to beat out of my chest and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. I watched her move around the kitchen, stretching to reach into the cupboard and sweeping her hair behind her ear as she filled each glass with water and ice. Just watching her move was enough to make my entire body tighten. Her hips swayed as she made her way back to me, and the best part was she didn't even know how incredibly sexy she was. She was intoxicating and every part of me itched to be near her.
She sat down next to me and handed me a glass. My mouth had gone dry and my skin felt tighter. The air around us felt thicker, palpable.
Here we go.
Jocelyn
Andrew looked like he was deep in thought and I took that opportunity to watch him closely. He had shaved this morning, but had a thin scruff already coming in and I wanted to reach out and feel it with my fingers. His eyes were so blue tonight and every time he looked at me, I had to catch my breath. I ran my eyes along his jaw and down his neck where I saw the tiniest flutter of a pulse. Looked like his heart was beating just as fast as mine.
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