by Karen Kirst
Henry spoke in a heated whisper. “What? He plans to send Alex away?”
Lavinia turned to him and stared deeply into his eyes, as though searching for something. Her probing look continued for several seconds, giving way to sadness. “He wrote to Stuart and said he’s hired a tutor up in Boston. I couldn’t believe it, but I saw the words myself.”
“I won’t allow that to happen.”
“Neither will I.”
He stared at her, although he had a hard time focusing. “What are you saying?”
She picked up a piece of popcorn, pulled off the three fluffy white flakes and placed them on her palm. “Father expects me to deliver the children so he can take charge of them, but I can’t do that.” She crushed the rounded core in her other hand.
“So you’ve realized I was right?”
She threw the hard ball into the popcorn bowl and rubbed a finger over each of the flakes. “I have. The children are happy, so I’m going to do everything in my power to keep them here.”
He’d waited weeks to hear those words. He could rest easy knowing the children’s future was no longer in question, but Lavinia leaving was something he didn’t want to think about. “I’m relieved, of course, but your father won’t take kindly to having his plans disregarded.”
She held her hand over the bowl, brushed the remaining pieces of popcorn into it and faced him, determination making her brown eyes even darker. “He won’t, but I’m not going to let that stop me. The children’s needs come first.”
“What about you? What will you do?”
“Stuart’s made me an offer that would enable me to stay here with the children.”
The hairs on the back of Henry’s neck stood at attention. “What kind of offer?” He dreaded the answer, but he had to know.
Lavinia took a sudden interest in the bottom button on her bodice. “A marriage proposal.”
“What? But I thought—” He clamped his lips together to keep his protest from pouring out and fought to regain control, not an easy task when he felt like punching something.
Her shoulders rose and fell as she drew in a series of deep breaths. “This would be more of a business arrangement, if you will. My father seems to have settled on the idea of accepting Alex as his heir. When he finds out I won’t be delivering him, I fully expect my father to retaliate as he did when Pauline defied him.”
A business arrangement? She was talking about a marriage of convenience. How could she consider such a thing? A woman as wonderful as Lavinia deserved all the love a man had to give—and then some.
She continued in a halting voice, twisting the button so hard that Henry expected to see it pop off. “If I was to form an alliance with Stuart, I’d be in a better position to provide for them.”
“What do you mean? I’m their guardian. I’ll take care of them.”
“You are now, but I love them, too, Henry. You’ve touted all California has to offer. I could give them that myself in San Francisco.”
The weight that had lifted from his shoulders fell back in place with a jarring heaviness. She wasn’t giving up her fight after all, but it appeared she was considering giving up her dreams for the sake of the children. While that was admirable, the possibility of her marrying Stuart sickened him. “You haven’t given Mr. Worthington an answer, have you?”
She shook her head. “He’s expecting it after the Christmas Eve service.”
There was still time for her to change her mind. If only he was in a position to tell her how much she’d come to mean to him. He couldn’t stomach the thought of her as another man’s wife, but he wasn’t free to declare his feelings when he couldn’t care for her properly. His finances were precarious. He wasn’t even sure how he was going to make the mortgage payment that was due at the end of the year since the prospective buyer for his hotel had made such a low offer. Unless he accepted it, he didn’t have enough money.
Worthington could give Lavinia the kind of life she was used to, but what kind of life would that be without love? She wanted it. She deserved it. “What will you tell him?”
“I’m not sure. My options are limited. Stuart’s given me one, and I feel compelled to consider it.”
“So you’re willing to settle for a loveless marriage, after all?”
“I’m willing to make the sacrifice if that’s what it takes to get what I want. Can you give me a good reason why I shouldn’t?”
“No.” Although he desperately wished he could, he was unable to. Not yet, anyhow.
But he could make a sacrifice of his own, too. Would it be enough?
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Lavinia sat at her dressing table, pinned her curls in place and pinched her cheeks to add some color. She reached for her perfume. Perhaps the rich rose scent would lift her spirits.
Caroling had seemed like a great idea when Henry suggested it weeks ago, but that was before Stuart had arrived in town and changed everything. Ever since she’d told Henry about the proposal, she’d been in a state of turmoil.
Despite her hope that he would protest or beg her not to settle for a loveless marriage, he’d said nothing. Even when she’d asked him straight out if there was a good reason why she shouldn’t consider Stuart’s offer, Henry hadn’t said anything to indicate that he had feelings for her.
How could she have misread things so badly? His kindness? His helpfulness? His kiss? She’d relived that incredible experience many times, and every time she’d come to the same conclusion—Henry might have given in to the children’s mistletoe ploy at the school party two nights ago, but he’d wanted to kiss her. He’d said as much afterward. Surely, that had to mean something.
Things between them had been strained ever since their talk while the children were decorating the tree the day before. She’d asked him what was troubling him. All he’d said was that the mortgage was weighing on his mind.
The way he’d been watching her when he thought she wasn’t looking, his handsome features downcast, said there was more to it than that. He bristled whenever Stuart was mentioned, making it clear he was the cause of Henry’s ill humor. Although that gave her hope, his stony silence ate at her.
She corked the bottle, returned the perfume to its place and closed her eyes.
I’ve fallen in love with Henry, Lord, but he doesn’t love me. If only he did, I wouldn’t have to keep up this fight. We could raise the children together. Since he doesn’t return my feelings, I have no choice but to consider Stuart’s proposal. Being married to him would help me win my case and enable me to raise the children myself. I know Henry thinks he can do it on his own, but they’d be better off with me. I could give them many of the things Father planned to.
Father!
Her eyes flew open. She picked up the letter she’d started that morning, her third attempt to write one to him since learning of his plans to send Alex away. The right words wouldn’t come. Thankfully, she had a few more days to figure out how best to explain her decision.
Even though she had no intention of taking the children back, knowing what awaited them if she did, she dreaded her father’s reaction to the news. The reply he was sure to send her would be scathing. At least she wouldn’t have to hear the words as she had his criticisms about her sister. She could read the rebuke and retribution and burn the paper they were printed on afterward.
“Aunt Livy!” Marcie called up the stairs. “Are you coming soon?”
“I’m on my way!” She shoved the letter into her dressing table drawer and joined them in the entryway.
Henry, Lavinia and the children donned their coats, hats, scarves and gloves and set out.
“Where will we be singing, Uncle Henry?” Alex asked.
“I thought we’d start on Main, and then we could visit a few homes on Spanish Street.”
“Good.
Frankie lives there. Can we go to his house?”
“I’d planned on it.”
They reached Main Street, stood in the glow of a gaslight and launched into the first of the many carols they’d rehearsed. A crowd formed around them, primarily single miners who cast appreciative glances Lavinia’s way, to her dismay.
She stepped closer to Henry, grateful for his reassuring presence. When she was with him, she felt stronger and more capable than she ever had back home. His belief in her meant more than he would ever know. Leaving Sutter Creek would be difficult because, although she’d be taking the children with her once she won her case, she’d be leaving a part of her heart behind. Just for tonight, she could imagine the five of them were a family with Henry as the head.
The time passed quickly. Before Lavinia knew it, they were at the last house, where Frankie lived. They sang two carols. Afterward they were offered shortbread that was still warm from the oven. Alex and the girls were talking with Frankie and his sister, enabling the adults to enjoy a few minutes of conversation.
Lavinia was ready to gather the children and head up the hill when Frankie’s father, Cyrus, stopped her cold with a question. “How are things working out with that case of yours?”
Her knees went as soft as whipping cream. She gripped the porch railing to keep from swaying. He couldn’t mean her case, could he?
She feigned confusion. “I beg your pardon?”
“I was working in the livery the other day when Mr. Price’s clerk came in. He was asking if anyone had asked to have a notice posted about Jack’s creditors after yer—” he cleared his throat “—losses. Said his boss needed the information to make a case. I was curious how that was coming along?”
Henry answered before she could, his words clipped. “There must have been a misunderstanding. I haven’t hired Mr. Price to check into anything.”
Cyrus looked from Henry to Lavinia and produced a weak smile. “I, um, think I’ve said more than enough. It was right kind of you all to come sing for us. We’re looking forward to seeing you at the church service tomorrow and enjoying some more of those fine baked goods of yours at the party afterward.”
Lavinia couldn’t say their farewells quickly enough. She hustled the children away, putting them between herself and Henry. Their excited chatter would provide a welcome diversion. If all went well, she’d be able to slip inside before Henry had an opportunity to ask questions she’d rather not answer.
When they reached the house, Henry stood on the porch and hugged each of the children good-night in turn.
Marcie lingered. “Can you believe it will be Christmas Eve tomorrow, Uncle Henry? Are you excited?”
“Not as excited as you are, Muffin, but—” he cast a glance at Lavinia before returning his attention to Marcie “—it could prove to be an interesting day.”
Lavinia didn’t miss his meaning. He’d made his thoughts about her proposal from Stuart clear. Not that Henry’s opinion changed anything. Her options were limited. She’d secretly hoped he would present her with another one, but thanks to Cyrus’s ill-timed revelation, that possibility had evaporated as quickly as the wispy vapor from their breath in the cold night air.
“And it won’t get here if you don’t get to bed, sweetie.” She managed to get the children inside and a couple of lamps lit without further comment from Marcie. Alex took one of the lamps and headed up the stairs with his sisters behind him.
“Good night, Henry.” She held the front door open for him.
He closed it. “I’m not leaving yet, Lavinia. We need to talk.”
“I have to see to the children.”
“You will. Later. But first, tell me about this case Cyrus mentioned. I assume it’s yours and that it’s against me.”
Facing him wasn’t easy, but she must. She looked into a pair of steely blue eyes. “That’s correct. I hired Mr. Price to help me find a way to gain guardianship since you refused to relinquish it.”
Henry shook his head. “You don’t understand, do you, even after all this time? Jack and Pauline wanted me to care for their children. That’s why they named me in the will. Not you.”
“Your brother named you, yes, but my sister told me in a letter years ago that if anything were to happen to her and Jack, she wanted me to raise them. I have every intention of making that happen.”
He scoffed. “Even if that means taking me to court? Do you honestly think that’s what Pauline would have wanted? If so, you’re mistaken. When she wrote that letter, she was hoping you’d come out here and get to know your nieces and nephew. But you didn’t, so she changed her mind.”
His air of certainty didn’t bode well. “How do you know?”
“She said so when they asked my permission to name me in the will. She was afraid you might take the children back to Philadelphia, and she wanted them to stay here—with me.”
Lavinia lifted her chin and responded in a heated tone. “Why haven’t you told me that me before?”
“I thought the fact that she and Jack named me as the children’s guardian made that clear.”
“It didn’t, not to me, but—” she heaved a resigned sigh “—I suppose it no longer matters since I’m not going to take them back. I’ll be staying here instead.”
“Here? I see.” He shook his head. “So you’re going to accept Worthington’s offer after all?”
She hadn’t made up her mind, but she wasn’t about to tell him that. “I love the children and will do whatever’s necessary to be granted guardianship.”
“Including having my rights revoked?”
“If you’d relinquish them that wouldn’t be necessary.”
He stared at her long and hard, his lips pressed into a firm line. Several tense seconds later, he gave a curt nod. “I admire your determination, but I’d advise you to reconsider. You won’t win your case. You’ll just make things hard on yourself and those you love.”
She loved him, but that didn’t seem to matter since he didn’t love her. “I’m doing what’s best for the children, and as far as winning my case, you might as well know that I have a strong one.”
A flicker of doubt crossed his face, followed by a frown. “I’m sorry you think so poorly of me. I thought by now you would have seen what kind of man I am. Good night, Lavinia.” Henry marched down the steps, strode down the pathway and left without a backward glance.
The clanging of the wrought iron gate closing behind him shattered what little control she had left. She gripped the doorjamb, drooped her head and drew in a ragged breath. Her struggle to keep the tears at bay failed. A pair of them coursed over her cheeks.
“Aunt Livy!” Dot called. “We’re ready for you to tuck us in.”
“I’ll be right up.” She swiped at her cheeks, pasted on a smile and mounted the stairs. The children were expecting a wonderful Christmas, and she would make sure they had it.
* * *
“Are my wings on straight?” Marcie looked over one shoulder and then the other.
Lavinia smiled. “Yes, sweetie. You look beautiful.”
Her niece shifted her weight from foot to foot so quickly that the flowing white skirt of her angel costume swayed. She rubbed a hand over her stomach. “My belly doesn’t feel right. What if I forget the words I’m supposed to say?”
“You won’t. You’ve rehearsed your line many times.”
Marcie scanned the curtained-off corner of the schoolhouse-turned-church serving as a staging area for the young thespians. She wasn’t the only one with a case of the collywobbles. The nervous energy in the small area was palpable. “Where’s Alex?”
“I’m right behind you.”
“Oh.” Marcie whirled around, her wings fluttering wildly. “Are you ready?”
He nodded. “Are you?”
Marcie shook her head, stoppe
d abruptly and reached up to make sure her halo was still in place. She peeked between a small gap in the curtains. “There’s so many people out there.”
Alex shrugged. “They’re the same people who were at church yesterday. You know all of them. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
The reversal of roles came as a surprise. Perhaps Marcie’s uneasiness stemmed from the fact that she had more invested in her performance than her brother. He’d only agreed to be a wise man because his friend Frankie was one, too. Notoriety was the furthest thing from Alex’s mind.
“You’ll both do well. I need to take my seat now, but I’ll say a prayer for you.”
As she headed to the benches facing the front of the large room where painted backdrops had been hung, Lavinia petitioned the Lord on behalf of all the young performers. She reached the row where Dot sat beside Henry and took the aisle seat on her other side.
“How’s Alex holding up?” Henry asked.
“He’s doing well, but Marcie is as nervous as a snowman in July.” Lavinia could relate. Her stomach was as unsettled as Marcie’s. Thankfully, Henry had sent word that he wouldn’t be able to join them until now, so she’d had the day to herself. Not that it had been a peaceful one. The children had been so excited that they’d been unusually quarrelsome. If that wasn’t enough, the conversation with Henry kept going ’round and ’round in her mind.
“Good evening.” The hand on her shoulder that accompanied the greeting caused her to jump. Stuart drew back. “I’m sorry, Lavinia. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“It’s all right.” Her reply had come out breathy, which could give him the wrong impression. He was a good man, but he didn’t cause her heart to pound or bring on a bout of light-headedness the way Henry had when he’d kissed her two days ago in that very room. “Dot, would you mind sitting in my lap so Mr. W. can join us? You’ll be able to see better.”
