“You should probably get her home,” Joslyn mentioned softly. “It’s been a long day, and we can come by tomorrow, talk more then. Your brothers and I will clean up for you here.”
Cade thanked her. “You guys drop by the house around lunch.” To the trembling woman he was holding, he added, “You can show ‘em how good a cook you are, Ash.”
Somehow, she liked the way he called her that, but was too distraught to give much of a verbal response, only nodding while trying to get her shaking under control.
Finally she managed to let go of Cade, a little embarrassed by just how hard she'd been clinging to him, which wasn't something she needed to deal with on top of everything else.
Caleb walked over and handed Cade his jacket, which he put on Ashley in turn. It was cold outside and she didn’t have a sweater yet, and the consideration didn't make it any easier to forget about her thoughts of attraction.
After saying goodbye and apologizing to everyone—though they seemed to think her outburst was perfectly warranted—she and Cade left Blue Moon for the night.
In his truck with the sound of the wind rushing by outside, Ashley sat in silence and watched the moon peacefully looming overhead. She couldn't get her mind off of what she'd learned, but she did wonder how she'd gotten lucky enough to find her way to Cade's pack.
When they came to a stop, she felt a hand on her shoulder, and glanced over at Cade to see a concerned look on his face.
“I scared them, didn’t I?” she asked softly.
“No, we’ve all seen a newborn snap.”
“But not for that reason.”
“True,” he confirmed. “But it only goes to show us exactly why we hate what those fuckers are doing to people. It's not right, human or not.”
Ashley stared ahead, another tear rolling down her cheek before she suggested, “And there’s more people out there now, going through what I went through, if not worse, aren’t there?”
She didn't look at him, unsure she'd be able to without bawling her eyes out, but noticed him reaching down and tugging her seat belt off.
Without a word, Cade pulled her over against his side. The stoplight turned green in the process, but he was the only person on the road, and stayed there until she was settled.
Ashley didn't fight, taking the comfort when it was offered while more tears flowed down her cheeks.
“Go on,” he urged softly before driving again. “Let it all out, cutie.”
She cuddled into his side, taking his advice. Ashley didn’t know why it felt so good, and she didn’t care. She wanted someone to be close to, and Cade was warm, strong, and made her feel safe—exactly what she needed.
She remembered thinking he wasn’t someone she’d go to for comfort, but now, he seemed perfect for the task. Guess I was wrong.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “I might not deserve the help, or I might, but thank you either way.”
“Don’t go on a guilt trip, Ash. You’re not a bad person, you were victimized. Nothing that happened was your fault. Besides,” he went on, glancing down at the top of her auburn hair, “I like being able to help. My dad was the same way, helping people whenever he could. It makes me feel closer to him.”
Ashley finally smiled. Quietly, she peered up at Cade, wondering what was it about him that comforted her so much, and whether it was normal for a lupine to want to inhale someone’s scent so deeply.
Her attraction to him was turning into a full blown infatuation. Puppy love? That sounds so corny now.
But she was letting her mind wander onto things it probably shouldn’t, and forced the urge to inhale away, speaking to keep her thoughts off of it.
“If you don’t mind my asking, what happened to your dad anyway?” Sara told her when the memorial was, but not how he'd died.
“Long story,” Cade replied, turning the wheel. “Not one I’m really fond of.”
“Okay,” she gave with a respectful nod. “If you ever feel like telling me, let me know.”
He seemed to appreciate being allowed to avoid the topic, and changed the subject. “I talked to Leo tonight by the way. He said it was Thomas Clifton who filed your case. They've reported you found, said your car was stolen not far from here after you got lost on the road.”
Ashley thought about that, nodding, “Sounds about right, I did get lost. But for future reference, why didn't I call anyone?”
“Do you remember their numbers?”
“No,” she confirmed, “good point. I could say I tried, but without my address book, I wasn't using the right number and the call wouldn't connect.”
That would be believable, if she ever talked with Thomas again anyway. She was still on the fence about calling her dad as well. It seemed better to wait until she knew she wouldn't snap at him without meaning to before trying—not that she really thought it would matter.
When they arrived home, Ashley got a bath after convincing Cade she was fine, and realized she was much more tired than she’d thought in the tub. Her whole body felt heavy, and she drug herself back to her room, deciding she was too exhausted to look for the cotton shorts she thought she'd pulled out to wear, falling into bed without them.
After some tossing and turning with the things she'd learned plaguing her, she finally managed to pass out completely. But close to morning, she woke in a cold sweat.
Ashley had no idea where she was.
Chapter 18
Sleep was fleeting that night.
Cade dozed on his couch, thinking about the events of the evening. He couldn't stop worrying about Ashley after her outburst, all while recurring dreams of his father's murder plagued him, waking him on and off before he finally rose in frustration.
Sitting quietly and shoving his fingers through his hair, Cade decided to get something to drink, hoping the activity would clear his head of the bothersome images. As he stood and walked to the kitchen, he heard a thud coming from upstairs.
It was a little past five thirty, and Cade looked up, knowing the sound came from Ashley's room. Without pause, he turned to the stairs.
He'd just made it to the top when the guestroom door forcefully swung open. Ashley tore out of it and down the hallway, coming to such an abrupt stop when she saw Cade ahead of her that she slid across the floor and fell right on her ass, letting a startled cry.
There was a wild look in her eyes, and Cade could scent fear on her. He had no idea what might have triggered this episode in specific, but knew he had to stop her. She looked ready to bound off in the opposite direction, and who knew what kind of damage she might do—both to herself and his home.
As she tried to escape him, Cade dropped to his knees and grasped her wrist, pulling her in before she could get very far. Ashley cried out in alarm and started to struggle, but Cade was up for the challenge.
“No!”
“Ashley! It’s just me!”
She continued to fight despite his attempts to get through to her, and though she was afraid, she wasn’t close to changing, her eyes still their normal hazel color.
But Ashley swung a fist at him, and Cade managed to grab her wrist before she landed the blow. As she tried to pry his fingers away, he reached around her to grasp the other.
Ashley jerked, letting another yell before he sat back and drew her up quickly, her back hitting his chest as Cade latched his arms tightly around her sides, emitting a menacing warning growl. The sound would appeal to the instinct she’d kicked into more than spoken words, and surely enough, Ashley became motionless, panting harshly.
Cade stopped growling and stayed still so he wouldn't startle her. Quietly, he held her close, listening to her breathing carefully. Her heart rate had to be going through the roof.
“Breathe slow, Ashley, you’re gonna make yourself change if you keep goin' like that.”
To help, he clasped both of her wrists together in front of her stomach with one hand, and reached up to slowly stroke his fingers along her jaw, pushing some hair from her face. She flin
ched in response, but that was the extent of it.
He continued sweeping his fingers up and down her throat a few times, feeling her racing pulse while shushing her softly.
Finally, she started to relax against him. “That’s it,” he urged, “you're safe here, sweetheart.”
Cade could only guess that she'd had a bad dream, specifically when he caught sight of her vacant expression. Nightmares weren't uncommon with newborns if their change hadn’t been pleasant, so he wasn't too surprised. He'd just have to sooth it away.
“Talk to me, Ash. What’s wrong?” He turned with her slowly, coming to sit against the wall, and pulled her into his lap where he let his fingers continue to stroke along her arm.
Ashley was silent for a few more moments as her breathing slowed down, and seemed to realize who she was with when she reached her hands up to wrap around his upper arm. With her face still pointed away from him, she laid her cheek against his shoulder quietly.
He gave her time to try to get hold of herself while realizing how natural it felt to sit with her so close. Then she whispered words so softly that he almost didn’t hear them.
“I’m sorry. I had a bad dream, didn’t know where I was.”
Cade remembered how he'd hated the ones involved in turning uninformed humans even before Henry was murdered. Now, hearing how fearful Ashley sounded, seeing her so vulnerable, he completely loathed them.
The urge to protect her was running stronger than ever. “I've got you now, you'll be fine. I promise.”
Though he wanted to, Cade couldn't ignore the need to tell her that, to stroke her back gently and make sure she was taken care of. He could play it off as nothing more than the relation of her situation to his father's death fueling the urge, but his instincts knew better.
Still, Cade refused to acknowledge them for the time being. Instead, he moved to adjust her across his lap. Once he had her where he could see her face, Ashley turned her head away in shame.
In response, he lifted a hand to her cheek to turn it back. “Look at me, Ash. You've got nothing to be ashamed of.”
Ashley stared at him quietly, letting him wipe away the tears she’d silently cried with his thumbs. She shook her head once he was done, saying, “I . . . I don’t know how much more I can handle.”
“Nah, you're a tough girl.”
She pursed her lips, trying to fight a smile, but when he grinned, she ended up snorting.
“How do you know?” she asked, attempting to remain serious.
“You've come this far, haven't you?”
With a sniffle, Ashley cast her gaze back at him. “I don’t know how strong that means I am, but I’ll believe you.” Then she sighed, “I just don’t know what to think. I keep wondering why I'm even trying.”
“Don't talk like that. You’ll get there,” Cade promised, and realized his voice sounded more commanding than he'd meant it to, as if he wanted her to get there more than he'd thought.
In order to try to hide that, he added, “It’ll just take some time. Trust me.”
She stared down in consideration while Cade looked her over with his mind going places he didn't want it to.
He knew how fast lupines could fixate on one another—sometimes in only a matter of days—and he was already losing the battle of lying to himself over how interested he was. All he could think about was pulling her in and kissing her until her troubles melted away. Damn it all.
Being this close wasn't helping either. Even now when she was so vulnerable, he was fighting not to stare at her legs, or the way her top showed off her curves.
Cade was going to get himself into trouble, he just knew it.
“I’m just tired,” Ashley excused softly, interrupting his thoughts as she looked back up at him.
When her eyes met his, Cade froze. He held her gaze, the urge to kiss her growing stronger with each second, and her breath hitched as if she was of the same mind. Just don't move.
But in staying himself, the tables turned unexpectedly when Ashley leaned up to kiss him.
At the brush of her soft lips, Cade's resolve snapped, and he reciprocated immediately while she clutched his sides tightly in her small hands. The sensation drew a wave of heat through him, one that had him slipping his palms up her back, tightening his grip around her.
It was a simple kiss, but her scent coupled with how soft she felt all over made it fervent, and Cade realized he was going to have a hard time letting her go. He needed to latch onto her, needed to deepen their contact and find out the way she tasted, run his hands over her body to learn her shape.
When the urge struck him, he forced himself to grab her upper arms and push her back—and it felt like one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do.
Denying this instinct just wasn't something a lupine did.
Ashley couldn't latch onto a single thought as she found herself kissing Cade, and it felt better than she'd imagined.
She shuddered when he swept his hands up her back and tightened his hold, everything spinning around her. His lips were firm against hers, his scent somehow different than usual, more intense, and she was lost—until she felt Cade going tense just before he pushed her back.
The moment he did, reality struck her with the force of a freight train. What did I just do!
“I'm sorry!” she rushed out, staring at him with her cheeks on fire.
As she chastised herself for her lack of control, Cade responded on a gruff voice, “Don't apologize, Ash, it's not your fault.”
Ashley wanted argue with that verdict, but something distracted her. When she’d looked down, she noticed what she was wearing—or the lack of it anyway. Could I even be anymore oblivious?
“Close your eyes and let me up!”
Cade lifted a brow in confusion over the sudden command. “Close my eyes?”
“I’m not wearin’ any pants!”
He suddenly grinned, and when she saw it, she returned a narrow glare. Irritatingly enough, Cade only chuckled.
“You’re not embarrassed about it, are you?”
“Yes! Especially in front of you.”
“Me?” He still hadn’t let her up.
“Yeah, you! You’re my boss and the guy I’m staying with! It's not right for you to see me in my bloomers.”
His chest started vibrating with a laugh, but he did as she asked and let her go. Without pause, Ashley bounded off of his lap and headed for her bedroom. There, she looked for her sleep shorts and found them in the second drawer of the dresser.
Tugging them on, she heard Cade tapping his knuckles against the door behind her, asking, “Decent yet?”
Ashley reopened the door, trying to bravely face him despite the fact that her cheeks were beet red. “I'm really sorry, Cade.”
Cade narrowed a brow in confusion, asking, “For what?”
“Kissing you like that.”
While she was embarrassed, he looked amused—irritating man—and so she rushed out, “It was like hitting that guy on the head last night, I just did it before I thought about it. The last thing I'm trying to do is start something here, and it's the last thing I need, so I won't do it again. I promise.”
Cade looked as if he understood what she was telling him, but somehow, he almost seemed not to like it. Still, he spoke in contrast, “It's okay. Besides, lupine relationships are different from human's anyway, so you don't need to worry.”
Ashley wasn't sure she wanted to know how they were different, but found herself impulsively asking, “What's different about them? You mean like with the marking?”
“Something like that. But I'll tell you about it some other time.”
Deciding that was the best idea for now considering the time it was, Ashley replied, “Okay, well, good night. I’m gonna try to get some more sleep.”
“Are you kiddin’ me? After what just happened, I'm not leaving you alone again.”
“I’ll be fine, really. I don’t think I’ll–,” she stopped when he stepped into the room desp
ite her denial and shut the door.
“Cade!”
Without a word, the Alpha walked over to the bed and settled himself on one side.
“You’re not gonna let this go, are you?” she asked while he leaned back against the headboard, stubbornly folding his arms over his chest in answer to her question.
She realized quickly that looking at him was another thing she didn't need. At the sight of his thick arms, she remembered the strength she’d experienced when he’d held her so close in the hallway. The thought made her breathless, and she wanted to cuss at herself for constantly noticing these things about him, especially after she'd just embarrassed herself by kissing him.
So she was happy when he distracted her with his reply.
“I’m worried about you, Ash. Besides, I wasn’t sleeping very well either.”
Hearing this, Ashley pursed her lips. He must have been awake and heard her moving around downstairs before coming to check on her—she knew she hadn’t been quiet when she'd woken from her nightmare.
Sighing, she decided just to give in, walking over and laying down with her back facing him, not close enough to touch, but close enough that she could feel his warmth behind her.
It was a nice sensation, comforting, as well as furthering her disappointment that he didn't seem to have as much interest in her as she did in him.
With a groan, she focused on the subject at hand, determined to push all considerations of attraction to the man out of her mind.
“Why couldn’t you sleep?”
Cade was quiet, but she didn’t look back to see if he would respond, and after a moment, he finally did so solemnly.
“I kept thinking about what happened last night, and my dad.”
Something really bad must have happened to his father. Knowingly, Ashley asked, “He wasn't sick, was he?”
“He was shot,” Cade replied, his voice emotionless, “not something we need to discuss right now. I’d rather forget about it and go back to sleep.”
She could definitely understand that, especially if the man was murdered.
Blue Moon Page 15
