I opened the secret door back to my office and froze.
Hailey, Candace, Bruce, Natasha, and Ryan were all standing in my office holding presents. Ballons were set up along with streamers and confetti.
"Surprise!" shouted Natasha. Her face fell as she looked around the big balloon that had been blocking her vision. "What the…"
"This isn't what it looks like," I said.
They all stared past me with slightly glazed-over looks on their faces. One by one, they slowly walked in.
Bruce stopped in front of the banana, eyebrows drawn. "I knew it…" he said.
"Seriously?" asked Natasha. "You have a freaking trophy room for all this stuff?"
"How?" asked Bruce. "That's what I want to know. How did you get this under my nose? We were here every week during construction."
"I always made sure you got the wrong map when we toured the construction site. I had this marked as a joint office with a secretary sweet. Surprised you never noticed the swap."
He shook his head.
"Is this somebody's wig?" asked Ryan, who was tentatively prodding a hair-piece pinned to the wall.
"Damn right it is."
"Wow. Cool," he said.
"Hey, why don't I have a section in here?" asked Natasha, who sounded a little offended.
"Bruce is a little protective, so I've always considered you a no-steal zone. Sorry."
She considered that. "Fair enough. I'll take it."
"Your own brother isn't a no-steal zone?" asked Bruce. "Are those my fucking socks?"
"So," I said quickly, moving to Hailey's side. "What do you think?"
She was staring wide-eyed at her little section of my collection. "I think I am marrying a psychopath. But I kind of like it?"
I squeezed her ass. "I knew I liked you." I hoisted her up by the waist and set her on a ledge in front of her collection. "Ladies and gentleman," I said, drawing everyone's attention. "The crown jewel of my collection."
Hailey rolled her eyes, but bit her lip. "You're corny."
"And you're marrying me." I moved between her legs and tilted my head up for a kiss.
"For now," she said, kissing me.
"Tell me you don't love me, tough guy."
She grinned.
"See? Can't do it. You love me so hard."
"Stop," she laughed. "Everybody is watching."
"Good. Everybody, watch my fiance process her undying love for me."
They all looked on with mild amusement.
"I love William, even though he clearly has problems."
"Come on. Say it the nice way."
"I love you," she said softly. She leaned her forehead down to touch mine.
"I love you too. Now I just need to figure out how to stick you up here. I think nails would hurt too bad. Maybe handcuffs?"
Please don’t forget to leave a review!
Thank you so much for reading! Whether you loved the book or not, it would mean the world to me if you left an honest review on Amazon. I read every single review and take them all to heart, even on older books, so it’s not just a great way to give me your feedback and help me improve, it’s also one of the best ways to support me and help me find new readers.
If Her Cherry and/or His Banana are the first books you’ve read by me, most of my other work generally has less humor. I still slide moments in here and there, but these books have been a much-needed mental break for me where I can write about something that’s not as heavy while I get over some of the frustrating things I’ve been dealing with in the real world.
Hope you loved it!
xx
Penelope
Want Bruce and Natasha’s Story?
If you found this book before Bruce’s story, no worries! I tried my best to write them to be read in any order. You can find it here:
My new boss likes rules, but there's one nobody dares to break...
No touching his banana.
Seriously. The guy is like a potassium addict.
Of course, I touched it.
If you want to get technical, I actually put it in my mouth.
I chewed it up, too... I even swallowed.
I know. Bad, bad, girl.
Then I saw him, and believe it or not, choking on a guy's banana does not make the best first impression.
I should backtrack a little here. Before I ever touched a billionaire’s banana, I got my first real assignment as a business reporter. This wasn’t the same old bottom-of-the-barrel assignment I always got. I wasn’t going to interview a garbage man about his favorite routes or write a piece on how picking up dog poop from people’s yards is the next big thing.
Nope. None of the above, thank you very much.
This was my big break. My chance to prove I wasn’t a bumbling, clumsy, accident-prone walking disaster. I was infiltrating Galleon Enterprises to follow up on suspicions of corruption.
Cue the James Bond music.
I could do this. All I had to do was land the position as an intern and nail my interview with Bruce Chamberson.
Forget the fact that he looked like somebody carved him out of liquid female desire, then sprinkled on some "makes men question their sexuality" for good measure. I needed to make this work. No accidents. No disasters. No clumsiness. All I needed to do was hold it together for less than an hour.
Fast forward to the conference room before the interview, and that's where you would find me with a banana in my hand. A banana that literally had his name on it in big, black sharpie. It was a few seconds later when he walked in and caught me yellow-handed. A few seconds after that was when he hired me.
Yeah. I know. It didn't seem like a good sign to me, either.
Get His Banana (Click Here!)
Don’t know where to start? I hope this helps! You can also check the next page for a more detailed guide on which of my books might be best for you. Otherwise, click this image to go straight to my catalog on Amazon and start browsing.
Continue for a more detailed reading Guide ——>
I have written more or less in three distinct styles since I started two years ago. This is a more detailed breakdown of how to find which of my books might suit your interest the most:
Laugh out loud funny:
His Banana: It’s not so funny that it leaves sexy and steamy by the wayside, but there are several moments that should have you laughing out loud.
Her Cherry (coming this August): Maybe even a little funnier than His Banana, at least as far as I can tell. I’m in the middle of writing this one right now, but I’m so excited to see what everyone thinks. I think it’s going to be such a fun book!
Lighter Humor:
I won’t go into every book here, because no one would read all that, but these books don’t focus as much on silly situations. There’s more emphasis on the drama of the relationship and all the usual things you’ve come to know and love in a romance. However, I generally think it’s safe to say that you’ll find comic relief in a few situations, as well as with many of the side characters in these books.
Single Dad Next Door: Mechanic gets a new neighbor, and it just so happens he needs a wife if he wants to keep his grandfather’s shop. The only problem is he hates his new neighbor.
This is the book I’d recommend starting with to get a taste for my lighter romantic comedies. It has one of my all-time favorite scenes that I still smile to think about. It was also the first romantic comedy I wrote, and if you’re like me, it’s fun to read through an author’s catalog chronologically so you can watch them grow.
Mafia:
I’ve done two styles of Mafia books in my career. The first series (the Citrione Crime Family) is violent, punchy, sexy, and pretty in-your-face. The men are alpha and there’s kidnapping, gunfights, and all kinds of drama. If you enjoy a side of action with your romance, my debut novel, “His” is the best place to start.
If you like the mafia to be more in the background than the foreground of the story, and you don’t enjoy all
the violence and physical action, “Baby for the Beast” and “Baby for the Brute” are the two books for you. These spend more time focusing on the development of the relationship, but the mafia aspect still weaves itself into the story, just not in a violent sense.
BDSM:
Just like mafia, I’ve done a couple styles of BDSM books. One universal in my BDSM books was my goal of writing BDSM for people (like me) who are kind of put off by all the extreme elements of the kink. Everything is consensual, the Dom’s are responsible (with the exception of forgetting a condom here and there for story purposes *wink*) and all the tools and toys used are light and cause no serious harm.
My most popular book across all categories by far was Knocked Up by the Dom. It’s the book that ended up on the USA Today Bestseller list. If you like all the background plot to be out of the way and you want a spotlight shining right on the relationship, this is the book for you. It also comes out of the gate very very steamy and doesn’t let up. The three “Knocked Up” books are probably the most smutty books in my catalog.
My BDSM books outside the Knocked Up series have a much lighter tone. The Dom’s Virgin is a good place to start if you like romantic comedy and BDSM. If you feel like reading something completely different than anything you’ve likely read in romance, you can also check out Punished by the Prince (kind of a fantasy/BDSM/royalty/romance mashup with action and world-building).
Enemies to Lovers:
This is a category that, like the laugh out loud books, I plan to add more to this year. If you don’t want the dislike between the hero and heroine to be mostly superficial, give these books a try. They tend to be longer than my usual books and you may have to give the hero a chance before you warm up to them, but if I do my job, you’ll end up loving them in the end!
Savage: Currently, this is my only published enemies to lovers book, but I’m confident it’s one you’ll enjoy. I also wrote a book called Hate at First Sight, but it won’t be live on Amazon until around September or October. Keep an eye out for it though, I think it’s a truly powerful book and maybe the best I’ve ever written. I can’t wait to share it with everyone!
Also By Penelope Bloom
My Most Recent Books
His Banana (top 8 Best Seller and 3 weeks on the Amazon most sold list!)
Baby for the Beast (#60 Best Seller)
Baby for the Brute (We don’t have to talk about rank on this one, do we?)
Savage (#20 Best Seller)
The Dom’s Bride (#40 Best Seller)
* * *
(Babies for the Doms)
Knocked Up and Punished (top 21 Best Seller)
Knocked Up by the Master (top 12 Best Seller)
Knocked Up by the Dom (USA Today Bestselling Novel and #8 ranked Bestseller)
* * *
(The Citrione Crime Family)
His (Book 1)
Mine (Book 2)
Dark (Book 3)
* * *
Punished (top 40 Best Seller)
Single Dad Next Door (top 12 Best Seller)
The Dom’s Virgin (top 22 Best Seller)
Punished by the Prince (top 28 Best Seller)
Single Dad’s Virgin (top 10 Best Seller)
Single Dad’s Hostage (top 40 Best Seller)
The Bodyguard
Miss Matchmaker
Join My Mailing List
Join my mailing list to get regular updates from me on my upcoming projects, opportunities to earn gift cards and prizes, bonus content, and more!
Hate the spam? Join my “Bloom Only” newsletter for a monthly update when my newest book is live and absolutely no additional emails!
Check out my website for my bi-weekly blog posts and more behind-the-scenes information about me, my books, and the author world than you’ll know what to do with!
You can also find me on Facebook. I love to interact with fans, post sneak peeks for my upcoming books, host giveaways, and hear feedback!
Her Cherry Page 17
