Hard To Love (Rockin' Country #4)

by Laramie Briscoe

  “Yes, Sir,” she breathed deeply, holding on as he took them on a very familiar ride.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  * * *

  “This place is paradise.” Shell sighed as she kicked her feet in the private pool they had been provided as part of their package deal. She held a fruity drink in one hand and a piece of chocolate in the other.

  Jared glanced at her from behind his sunglasses. They had been in Aruba for three days, and her skin had already taken on a golden tone. It made her blonde hair shine brightly and her eyes pop. They’d spent their days being lazy on the beach, snorkeling when they felt like it, walking when they felt like it, or just hanging at the pool as they were doing today. Their nights had been hot; most of them, they ended up falling asleep with him buried deeply inside her, both trying to catch their breath. This was the best vacation he’d ever had in his life.

  “Yup, I would have to say I agree.”

  “Are we doing anything today?” she asked as she rolled her head on the lounger so that she looked in his general direction.

  “We have dinner tonight on the beach, as long as it doesn’t rain or anything,” he told her, pleased that he had one more surprise for her. He’d worked hard on this one.

  “Dinner on the beach? What? You never told me we were going to do that. Seriously, J, you’re spoiling the shit outta me. When we get back to Nashville, how am I going to acclimate back to regular life?”

  “The same way I will.” He pulled a face. “Changing EJ’s dirty diapers and wondering where the fuck the record company came up with whatever harebrained scheme they present us with.”

  “Oh yeah.” She took a drink. “There it is—the sound of reality crashing down. How about we keep this going for a few more hours?”

  That was his plan. They had to head back to Nashville in the morning. She had meetings with Hannah, and the guys had meetings with some local producers who were interested in working on the next Black Friday album. He had to get back to working his program, and hopefully, he and Shell would have something of their own to plan.

  * * *

  Getting dressed for dinner that night was one of the most nervous experiences of his life. He wanted to look nice, but he didn’t want to look too nice. He didn’t want to give anything away, wanted her to be surprised when he went down on one knee and asked her to be his wife.

  “Do I look okay?” she asked as she came out of the bathroom.

  He turned around so that he could see, and his breath caught in his throat. She wore a blue dress that showed off her tan, her blonde hair, and the light color of her eyes. She’d done some sort of curly do with her hair, and he wanted desperately to make a mess of it later. He hoped like hell he would be able to make a mess of it later.

  “You’re beautiful, as always.”

  “And you’re hot.” She got a good look at him. Khakis and a white button-down shirt, sleeves rolled up to show off the tattoos he had on his arms. “Do we really have to go to dinner?”

  “Yes,” he answered. He’d paid a ton for this, but at the same time he wanted this to be something she remembered for the rest of her life, not something he sprung on her in bed. This was special. “I want to do this.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  “I am.” He grabbed her hand. “I heard that this place is particularly gorgeous, and this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. We’ve gotta do it.”

  She knew he spoke the truth and followed him along the pathway that took them to the beach. Instead of walking towards the part of the beach where they had been going for days, he directed them up a few stairs and along another pathway. They continued up a few more sets of stairs, and as they crested a hill, Shell gasped. “Holy shit, this view.”

  “Right?” Jared felt his chest swell with pride.

  From where they sat, they could see into the blue ocean and had a great view of the resort they were staying at. The table was perfect with a white linen tablecloth, flowers native to the region, and candles that cast a soft glow. As the sun went down, he knew it would be even more romantic.

  “Welcome, Mr. Jared and Ms. Shell. We’ve prepared a feast for you tonight,” the waiter said as he welcomed them. “We have shrimp, lobster, different kinds of fish, as well as vegetables and indigenous fruit to the area. For dessert we have your special request of a chocolate mousse cake with strawberries, chocolate sauce, and vanilla ice cream. Please, enjoy.”

  They had a seat and waited for the waiter to leave before Shell reached across the table and grabbed Jared’s hand. “You buttering me up? You know that’s my favorite dessert ever.”

  His answer was purposely flippant. “Hoping to get lucky on my last night here.”

  “I’m a sure thing. You didn’t have to go all out, but I’m glad you did.” She took a drink of the fruity concoction she’d been drinking all week. “I sure am gonna miss this stuff.”

  He had to agree.

  * * *

  “Is it time for dessert?” she asked as they cleared the table off.

  “Always here for the sweets, aren’t you?”

  “I haven’t indulged lately, and it sounds divine,” she defended herself, looking up as the waiter from earlier brought them a plate to the table.

  “Your dessert.”

  She looked up, thanking him for everything, and they talked for a few seconds before he made a hasty getaway. “Come on,” she told Jared. “Grab a spoon and let’s demolish this.”

  Spoon poised, she noticed for the first time that something was written on the plate in the chocolate sauce she loved so much and that a box sat next to the plate.

  “Will you marry me?” she read aloud.

  Shock registered on her face and in her eyes. She glanced up at him, seeing the love written so plainly on his face.

  “Will you?” he asked as he grabbed the ring box and got up from his seat.

  He walked over to where she sat, pulling her chair back from the table slightly before he went down on one knee beside her, opening up the ring box. She gasped as she saw the rose gold ring.

  “I’ve wanted to give this to you since Valentine’s Day, but I had to make sure we were at a good spot, I had to make sure this was going to last,” he explained. “I had to make sure I was ready for it, and that you were ready for me. I think we’re there, unless I’m completely wrong.”

  Her eyes met his, and she thrust her hand out to him. “Yes! Yes we’re there!”

  He fumbled with the box and finally put the ring on her finger. When he did, she tackled him into the sand, but neither one of them cared as their lips met and fingers dived into hair.

  “I love you,” he told her, pushing back her hair. “I want to live the rest of my life with you, and whatever difficulties we have, I want to go through them with you. With you is so much better than without you.”

  “I love you too, and I want to be there, no matter how hard it gets.” She gazed at the ring over his shoulder as she stretched her fingers. “It’s beautiful.”

  “It’s everything you deserve, and nothing could be more beautiful than you.”

  Epilogue

  * * *

  Three Years Later

  “C’mon, Shell, you can do this,” he encouraged her, brushing back the wet hair from her forehead.

  “No,” she heaved, her voice tired. “I can’t.” She licked her lips, making a grasp for the cup of ice he held.

  Grabbing a piece, he ran it over her dry lips and pushed it into her mouth. “You can. You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known. Look how you’ve put up with me and my bullshit. You got this, sweetheart.”

  “I’m so tired.” She lolled her head around on her pillow, trying to focus her bleary eyes.

  Hannah appeared at her bedside, grabbing her friend’s hand. “C’mon, girl, you got this. I know you got this. Your birth plan says no c-section, remember how we argued over that? It’s time for you to quit messing around and get this baby out.”

  Shell’s eyes flashed with an
ger. “This is hard,” she argued. “You had a c-section! You don’t understand this pain, this tiredness,” she yelled as another contraction hit her. “How dare you judge me?”

  “You pissed?” Hannah asked, her mouth tilting up in a grin.

  “You bet your ass I am!”

  Hannah grabbed her leg and indicated for Jared to grab her other. “Good, now use that and give birth to your daughter.”

  “Push for me, Shell,” the doctor said from where she was, ready to catch the baby, they were that close.

  Using every bit of anger that coursed through her body, Shell bore down, pushing with everything she had, taking the last twelve hours of agony and putting it into this crunch she made with her stomach muscles. She wanted badly to see this baby. This was a baby they had prayed for. She’d had trouble, hormone levels were low at times, and some bleeding had kept her on bed rest for two weeks, but they’d made it. She knew she had to see this to the end. She wanted this for her and Jared more than she’d ever wanted anything in her life.

  “I see the head, c’mon Shell!”

  She could feel the energy in the room, she could feel the love that surrounded her, surrounded Jared and little Montgomery—named for the tour stop she’d been conceived on. It was their own private joke, but they loved the name.

  Suddenly, she felt the baby drop and waited anxiously for the screams that would tell her she was okay.

  “Is she okay?” she asked, leaning back against her pillow, listening intently, dying a little as she didn’t hear anything.

  Jared’s eyes met hers, his equally as scared, and they heard a hard smack, and then the loud wails of a child.

  “Thank God.” She heaved a sigh, tears falling from her eyes in way she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop for hours. “Let me see her.”

  They laid the baby on her stomach as they prepared Jared to cut the cord.

  “Don’t pass out on us, buddy,” Garrett teased from where he sat next to the bed, taking pictures as Jared did his daddy duties.

  The emotion Jared felt couldn’t be put into words as he did as the nurses showed him.

  * * *

  Hours later, the three of them were alone, and Jared held Montgomery in his arms, cuddling her against him.

  “She’s gorgeous,” Shell said sleepily from her bed.

  “She looks just like you. Of course she is.” He kissed the top of his daughter’s head. It was full of blonde hair.

  “No wonder I had heartburn so bad.” She nodded towards the headful of hair.

  “I love you.” He got up and walked over to the bed. “I can’t thank you for everything you’ve given me.”

  “I love you too.” She tried not to get emotional, but her hormones were haywire. She scooted over in the bed to make room for both of them. “You’ve given me everything too. We’ve been there for each other, in ways that neither one of us ever planned on.”

  He pushed his knees up and set Montgomery on them so that her eyes could see both of them and her head was supported. “She’s a blank slate, Shell. I don’t wanna fuck her up,” he whispered.

  “You’re not going to. You’re gonna love this little girl the way you love me. The way your family could never love you. You’re gonna show her what an amazing man you are.” She reached over and grabbed one of Montgomery’s hands. “You’re going to be her hero.”

  “What if I fail?” he asked, the emotion thick in his voice.

  “Lots of heroes fail—it’s how they handle those failures, how fast they get back up, and how they move forward that matters. There’s a thin line between a hero and a villain—it’s a choice.”

  “I’m going to do my best to always make the right one,” he vowed.

  She leaned her head against his shoulder and absorbed this special moment that was theirs. “I’m going to help you make the right one.”

  They were quiet for a minute before he spoke again. “Thank you.”

  “For what?” she asked, her voice sleepy.

  “For loving me, even when it was hard to.”

  The End

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  Coming January 21st, 2016

  Prologue

  Sketch

  “I love you, but I’m no longer in love with you, Devin.”

  The words echo off the hardwood floor I had paid to have put in our home, they bounce off the walls Nina and I had painstakingly painted yellow. I remember the argument we got into about the trim color; an argument I won by tackling her to the, then carpeted, floor and fucking her into submission. What had happened to that couple? When had that changed?

  “I don’t even know what to say.” And I didn’t. Shock and something akin to anger boil in my gut. I want to scream and punch, ask what the fuck is wrong with her, but those words won’t come. I can’t push them past my lips.

  She sighs. “That’s precisely the problem, Devin; you never know what to say. You never know when you’re going to be home, you never know what your schedule is going to be. I can’t do this. When was the last time we had sex? When was the last time you told me that you love me? Devin, I’m done.”

  There it is again. My real name. For the past seven years I’ve been Sketch. Through my apprenticeship and now at my own shop. Most people don’t even know my real fuckin’ name, and here she’s used it twice in one conversation.

  “You’re done?” I sound like a parrot, but I can’t help it. This shit is coming out of left field for me. I’m standing here like a chump, holding a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of wine, and a box of chocolates. Following her out to the driveway, I watch as she walks awkwardly, holding duffel bags in each arm.

  “Yeah, Devin. Done.” She rolls her eyes and continues putting her stuff in the car. The car, I might add, I bought her with the first profit that my shop turned.

  “Do you even see what I’m holding, Nina?” I ask, thrusting my hands towards her.

  “It’s too late,” she tells me, finally showing some emotion.

  There are tears in her eyes and I wonder why. It’s not like I’m the one leaving her. I still have no idea where any of this is coming from. “Too late? This is me telling you that I finally have the time. Babe, we’re gonna live our lives.”

  “I’ve been living, Devin.” She stomps her foot. “It’s you who’s had your head up your ass at that goddamn tattoo shop.”

  That’s it. My stomach drops, and I see for the first time the ungrateful bitch she’s become. I feel anger overtake me. “That goddamn tattoo shop has provided you with a good life, Nina,” I yell.

  Throwing the stuff down I have in my hands, I let it smash into a million pieces and watch it roll towards the car. Just like my life, it’s a jumbled up mess of shattered hopes and a river full of broken dreams.