“Please don’t leave me too. I need you. Wake up, please Sweetheart.” Ryan kissed Rachel’s hand and pressed it to his face. She felt so cold. “I love you,” he breathed, giving way to tears for the first time in his life.
He was still sat this way when two nurses and a porter entered the room almost an hour later.
“We’re sorry to disturb you Mr Law,” said one of the nurses, “but we need to take her down for her scan.”
“Can I go with her?” he rasped.
“Course you can,” she said kindly.
Ryan walked alongside Rachel’s bed like a zombie, watched while she went through the CT scanner then followed her back to the ward, sitting silently in the chair and patiently waiting while she was hooked back up to all the machines.
“When will you have the results?” he asked quietly.
“It shouldn’t take long. The doctor will talk to you as soon as he knows.”
“Thank you.” It was an effort for him to talk, he was too busy dealing with the raging pain inside him. He’d never felt anything like it before in his life.
The senior nurse hesitated before leaving. “You do know you can see your son, if you want?”
He looked up at her with dazed eyes. “I can?”
“Yes.”
“Is he…fully formed?”
“Yes,” she said gently. “He looks perfect, just small.” She swallowed down a lump in her throat when silent tears spilled from his eyes.
“I…I don’t know.” He looked to Rachel helplessly, wishing he could talk it over with her.
“Have a think about it and let me know. I can have him taken to the chapel.”
“Thank you.”
“Do you have a name? At the moment he’s Baby Law.”
“We talked about names but hadn’t decided on one. I can’t make that decision without Rachel.”
“I understand.”
He wanted her to give him some reassurance that she would wake up, but she didn’t, and instead she quietly left.
Mikey brought a tearful Martina to the hospital, Jez and Cathy arriving shortly after.
“I can’t believe it,” said Martina. “After everything she’s suffered life was going so well. How could this happen?”
“The accident wasn’t Rachel’s fault,” said Alex. “The Police came by earlier wanting to interview her. Apparently she was sat at a red light and another vehicle shot across the road straight into the side of her. When the van doors opened everyone thought they were getting out to help her but they changed their mind, got back in and drove off. There were plenty of witnesses.”
“A van hit her?” exclaimed Beth.
“A white transit. Two men got out.”
“Did anyone get their descriptions? Licence plate?” said Mikey.
“Two men, but that’s as far as the witnesses agree. Some say they were blond, others dark, short, tall, young, old. Everyone says different but the driver must have hit his face on the steering wheel because his nose was bleeding.”
“The witnesses must have been in shock, it can play tricks on the mind,” said Jez.
“The good news is they got a partial plate number. As soon as the Police know who did it, we’ll know,” said Alex.
“And you’ll give their names to Ryan?” said Jez.
“Too right I will.”
“Boys, don’t talk like that here, please,” said Martina, indicating Beth and Cathy, who were desperately trying to pretend they weren’t listening.
“I’ve called her parents, they’re on their way up from Devon. Gill was devastated,” said Beth.
“I’m not surprised,” sighed Martina. “It was bad enough with her first miscarriage but this, having to give birth to the baby…it’s just awful. I called Adela, she’ll stay with the kids. I’ll pick them up later, they can stay at mine until Ryan’s in a fit state to look after them.”
“I don’t know when that’ll be,” said Mikey. “He collapsed when he was told about the baby.”
“There’s no rush, they can stay with me as long as it takes but he’ll have to get himself together soon because Leah will have questions. The boys are too young to understand but she’ll want to know why there’s no baby anymore and why her mum won’t wake up.”
“God this is horrible,” said Beth, breaking into fresh tears.
The door opened and Ryan walked in, face pale and eyes red. “I’ve just spoken to the Neurologist looking after Rachel, they’ve had her results back.” He broke off when he saw Cathy’s pregnant belly. She looked uncertainly at Jez, who wrapped his arm around her.
“Do you want me to leave?” she said timidly.
“No, sorry. I’m glad you’re here. The good news is there’s no internal bleeding, swelling or damage. They think the coma’s caused by a severe concussion, so it’s hopeful she’ll wake up.”
“What can they do for her?” said Martina.
“Nothing. They just intend to wait and see if she wakes up on her own.”
“If?”
“There’s nothing else they can do Martina,” said Beth.
“Well that’s good news, isn’t it?” said Cathy.
“Yes. It could be a lot worse,” replied Beth. “At least she won’t need surgery.”
“Can I see her?” said Martina.
Ryan nodded. “Alex, I’d like a word.”
He’d been expecting this. “Alright.”
They went outside for some fresh air. As they walked Alex noted Ryan’s body getting tenser with rage. When they were outside Ryan rounded on him, pinning him up against the wall. “If this turns out to be anything to do with the fucking Jordans I swear to God I’ll kill the lot of them, then I’ll kill you.”
Alex didn’t flinch, realising he had to lash out. “The Jordans are in Liverpool, I’ve already checked. It can’t have been them. Witnesses got a partial plate. I’m waiting for a call from my contact. As soon as I have a name you will and you can pay them a visit.”
“My boy’s dead and my wife’s critically ill. Someone’s going to pay for that.”
“And they will, I promise, but don’t do anything rash. Rachel and the kids don’t need you getting banged up. We do this right.”
“No, I do it.”
“Don’t shut us out of this Ryan. Rachel getting hurt affects us all.”
“Has your baby just died? No. Whenever someone gets hurt it’s always Rachel, not your wife or kids and you know why? Because she always puts the family first and her selflessness turns around and bites her. You think this is a coincidence after that meeting with Jan Jordan? Course it’s fucking not.”
“If it is the Jordans we’ll sort them.”
“You should have killed them while you had the chance.”
“If they’re responsible for this they’re dead. I don’t give a shit what their connections in Liverpool and Newcastle have to say. We’ll take on the lot of them,” said Alex passionately. “But I can’t see how it was them, they were nowhere near when it happened.”
“I want blood for this.”
“And you’ll get it but let’s not turn on each other. If we’re going into another war we need each other.”
Ryan nodded, pain and rage vying for supremacy inside him. “Jesus I feel like I’m being ripped apart.”
“You’re not on your own in this,” said Alex, clapping him on the shoulder.
The door burst open. “Ryan, she’s awake,” called Beth.
Ryan shoved past her and sped back up to the ward. “Rachel,” he yelled as he entered her room, pushing past everyone to get to her side.
“Ryan?” she said weakly.
“The nurse has gone to fetch her doctor,” Mikey told him.
He grasped her hand and kissed it. “God it’s good to see you awake. How are you feeling?”
“Headache,” she grimaced. Her hand stroked her belly. “How’s the baby?”
His smile fell and he looked questioningly at Martina.
“Ryan?” said Rachel,
worried by his reaction.
“Come on, let’s give them some space,” said Martina, ushering everyone out.
“What’s happened? Is the baby okay?”
For a moment Ryan couldn’t speak, frantically searching for the right words, but they wouldn’t come. He had no choice but to come straight out with it.
“The accident started labour.”
“But it’s too early. Did they manage to stop it?”
“No, they had to do a caesarean. The baby didn’t survive.”
She shook her head. “No. Don’t tell me that, please Ryan.”
He gripped her hand tightly, a tear sliding down his cheek. “I wish I could tell you different, I really do, but I can’t.”
“No,” she wailed, bursting into tears. “But look at my belly, it’s still swollen, it looks like he’s still in there.”
“He’s not Sweetheart.”
She clung onto him, crying her heart out and he held her tightly, burying his face in her hair, soaking it with his tears.
“I’m sorry,” she eventually managed to hiccup through her sobs.
“It’s not your fault. You were sat at a red light. Someone drove into the side of you. You did nothing wrong.” He took her face in his hands and stared hard into her eyes. “Do you understand me? It’s not your fault, it’s the bastard’s who drove into you and I will kill them.”
She just nodded, looking completely bewildered. He got a flashback to the time he’d comforted her after she’d miscarried Danny’s baby. At the time he’d thought Danny was an arsehole for the way he’d reacted, but now he understood the pain he must have been in. But that was no excuse to take it out on Rachel.
“You said he. Was it a boy?”
He nodded, hating the word was.
“Just as I thought,” she said softly. “What does he look like? Have you seen him?”
“Not yet. The nurse said he looks perfect.”
“I want to see him.”
“Are you sure?”
“He’s my baby, I want to hold him.”
“Alright, I’ll let the nurses know.”
“We have to give him a name, they’ll just call him Baby Law. He has to have a proper name,” she exclaimed, getting agitated.
He stroked her hair. “What name do you want?”
“I like Thomas.”
“Thomas it is then.”
“I can’t believe it. Why did this have to happen? He hadn’t even had a chance at life.”
“I don’t know,” he said helplessly.
They were interrupted by the Neurologist entering, looking sombre. “Hello Rachel. Has your husband explained the situation to you?”
She nodded. “I want to see my baby.”
“And you will but I have to make sure you’re strong enough first. You’ve suffered a severe concussion.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“I need to check you over.”
“I want to see my baby.”
“Rachel, let him check you out,” said Ryan reasonably. “You’ve got three other kids who need you.”
“Okay.”
She sat staring into space as she was examined, her hands continuously returning to her empty belly.
“Well your vital signs are good,” the doctor told her. “You’re responding normally to all stimuli. Do you remember the accident?”
She scrunched up her face in concentration. “Just a big white van coming at me.”
“What were you doing before that?”
She thought hard. “I was driving, I stopped at the lights.”
“Before that?”
She closed her eyes and concentrated. “Before that I remember leaving home, I was going to the spa.”
“That was this morning,” said Ryan.
“It’s all blank after stepping through the front door. Will I remember?” she asked the Neurologist.
“Maybe, maybe not. It’s impossible to tell with head injuries, they affect everyone differently.”
“It was probably just an average day, I didn’t have anything special planned. Oh, I intended to see Beth after the spa, I hadn’t seen her in a while.”
“Due to the prolonged unconsciousness I do want to keep you in another night and we’ll see how we go from there.”
“Fine. Can I see my baby now?”
The doctor was reluctant to let her go through something that would be so traumatic but knew she was going to do it anyway. Trying to stop her would only cause her more distress. “Yes. I’ll arrange for him to be taken to the chapel, you can see him there. A nurse will fetch you when it’s time.”
“Thank you.”
He left and she looked to Ryan. “Do you want to come with me? I’ll understand if you don’t want to, it won’t be easy.”
“I want to see him too.” He kissed her, recalling Alex’s words. “We’ve got to get through this together.”
“Good because I’ve never needed you more.”
CHAPTER 14
Gill and Rick arrived at the hospital to find Rachel and Ryan looking pale and shell-shocked after visiting Thomas. When Gill wrapped her daughter in a hug, Rachel collapsed into her and started to cry all over again.
Her parents had been devastated when they’d discovered Rachel was going to marry Ryan Law, but their son-in-law had proved himself and they were both very fond of him. Rick took pity on him and patted his shoulder. “How are you holding up son?”
“Not good,” he replied, completely dazed.
“We’ve just been to see him in the Chapel,” wept Rachel. “He’s beautiful. Ten fingers and toes. There’s not a mark on him. He shouldn’t be dead.”
“Have you got a name for him?” Gill said gently.
“Thomas,” croaked Rachel.
“That’s a good name. Would you mind if we went to see him?”
“No, you should. He’s gorgeous, just like his brothers.”
“Excuse me,” said Ryan, getting to his feet and racing out of the room. He only just made it to the toilet before violently throwing up. Rachel was right, he had been perfect, like he was sleeping. He could still feel him in his arms as he’d held him, he’d weighed absolutely nothing.
“Ryan?” said Rick, coming into the toilet to find his son-in-law slumped on the floor of a cubicle with tears streaming down his face. It was a shock to him because he’d never seen him anything but cool and composed before.
“Come on son, you can’t sit here all day,” Rick said gently, helping him to his feet. “Clean yourself up. Martina’s bringing Leah in. She’s insisting on seeing her mum and she can’t see you in this state.”
Ryan splashed cool water on his face and rinsed out his mouth. Rick waited for him to get himself together in silence and Ryan appreciated it that he didn’t offer him empty words of comfort or try and empathise when he couldn’t.
“Thanks Rick.”
“You’re welcome. Come on, Rachel’s been asking for you.”
Shakily he followed his father-in-law back to Rachel’s room and retook his place by her side.
“Are you okay?” she asked him.
He nodded slowly, although with all the pain inside him he didn’t know how anything would ever be okay again.
Leah clung onto her grandmother’s hand as she led her into her mum’s hospital room, Alex and Mikey following. Jez had taken Beth and Cathy home.
Alex watched as Leah cuddled her mummy, saw her smile when she touched Rachel’s rounded stomach, the smile falling as Martina explained the baby was no longer in there, her subsequent tears. Leah curled up on the lap of the man who Rachel had betrayed her father with, the man she now called daddy when he had no right to that title. Leah loved Ryan, and Alex was starting to detest her for it. Rachel and Ryan had stolen everything from Danny, including his own daughter. If it hadn’t been for the fact that she so closely resembled her real father, he would have suspected her of being Ryan’s child. Looking into Leah’s eyes was like looking into Danny’s.
He gla
nced at Rachel to see if she was regarding him with anger, but she was staring at her stomach with tears in her eyes.
“Do you remember the accident?” he said.
He held his breath when her eyes swept up to him, but there was no recrimination or anger in them, only sadness. “Yes, but that’s about it.”
“What do you mean?”
It was Ryan who replied. “She can’t remember anything after leaving the house this morning.”
Alex wanted to laugh out loud, unbelieving of his good luck. Now he had the power of knowledge over her. Rachel didn’t know she and her husband were now his enemies.
“You came to my house, don’t you remember?” said Beth with a glance at her husband. He’d come home to find an au pair in his kitchen but they hadn’t had time to discuss it before the phone rang with the news about Rachel. “You looked after the kids while I had a rest.”
“I don’t remember,” she said helplessly, the tone sounding alien in Rachel.
Alex had to be entirely sure because Rachel was smart and could be playing a trick on him. He stepped forward and took her hand, “We’ll find who did this, I promise you.”
She gave him a small smile, eyes filling with gratitude and love. “Thank you.”
He bent to kiss her forehead and her arms went around his shoulders and he knew she was being truthful. She genuinely couldn’t remember their fallout. But it was something he’d never forget.
Mikey exited the hospital and slumped in the front seat of his car, the scan picture of his own child clutched in his hand. He’d paid for one of those fancy 3D scans and everything had been crystal clear, fingers, toes, ears. He and Amber had been told they were having a boy and it had been one of the most significant moments of his life. He’d gone to Rachel’s house first to tell her but only the kids had been there with the au pair, who’d told him she was in hospital, so he’d driven straight here, consequently he’d shown the scan to no one.
As he stared at the sonogram he saw Rachel’s stricken face, the devastation. She’d said he’d love his baby like nothing else and she’d just lost hers. He couldn’t possibly show this to anyone else, not for a while anyway.
He swallowed down the lump in his throat and started the engine, thinking he’d go to the pub and get pissed. Instead he found himself driving towards a block of flats on the edge of the city. He took the stairs to the first floor and knocked on the door.
A Family Divided (Dividing Line #3) Page 16
