I tensed, too, but for a different reason. Stay away. I knew Darthon’s first rule.
“Jessica,” I spoke to her in silence. “Can you hear me?”
Instead of pushing against my chest, she pulled herself away, so she could see me. “Of course I can.”
“I have to tell you—”
My brain singed when I tried to tell her who Darthon was. I grabbed my scalp.
“Eric.” Her nails were against my arm. “Eric, are you okay? What happened? Did I hurt you?” She moved away again, and I was cold.
I shook my head. “You didn’t hurt me.”
“What is it, man?” Pierce spoke up. “What’s going on?”
I opened my mouth, and nothing came out. Not a single sound.
I felt myself pale.
Jessica said my name again.
“Do you have a pen?” I asked.
Pierce leaned over to the nurse’s station and grabbed one without question. “Want some paper, too?”
I glared at him.
He chuckled like our lives weren’t at stake. “Here.” He handed me both.
I gripped the pen, but it froze in my fingers. I couldn’t even write it down. I dropped it.
“What is going on?” Jessica’s high-pitched voice rose. “What’s wrong?”
I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t tell them. The only thing that happened was the burning in my throat, the touch of Darthon’s fingers on my neck. He was controlling me, and I had agreed to it. There was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t warn Jessica or confess to Pierce, and I definitely couldn’t fight it. I didn’t have free will anymore—not until I broke the illusion—and that meant one thing.
I had to break up with Jessica.
20
Jessica
“Eric’s acting weird,” I spoke to Jonathon after art class. Eric had avoided me all morning, but he also avoided Jonathon. He hadn’t spoken to anyone that I knew of, but he couldn’t avoid me in homeroom.
Jonathon scratched the paint off his fingernails. “You two went through a lot.” When I didn’t respond, Jonathon adjusted his glasses. “Just give him time.”
Time—it was the last thing we had, but Eric was acting as if it existed. After he woke up at the shelter, he paced the room like his father often did, and then, he left. He didn’t even say goodbye. Jonathon was the only reason I didn’t follow. My guard took me home instead, and he kept repeating how Eric needed time. It reminded me of how much time Jonathon had with Eric. They had known one another since birth. I had only been around for one year—a year that felt much longer than it should have.
“Just stay focused,” Jonathon said before I could walk away. “Darthon could come back.”
“I know.” He didn’t have to remind me. “I’ll see you after school.”
Jonathon nodded, and with that, he was gone, off to his other courses with the crowd of students he disappeared into. I joined the crowd and walked into my homeroom, knowing Eric wouldn’t arrive until the bell rang.
Crystal was the first one to approach me. “Welcome back.” It didn’t sound welcoming at all.
I laid my bag on my table. “Hey.”
Eric’s seat was empty until Crystal sat in it. “How was your trip?”
“It was okay,” I said, waiting for the interrogation to continue.
Crystal had the right to be upset. She was my best friend, and I hadn’t told her anything. It wasn’t like I could, but she didn’t know that. I would’ve been upset with her, too.
She folded her arms, but a smile finally broke her lips. “Tell me about it at lunch?”
“Sure.”
When she got up and left, I knew Eric was behind me. I could feel his heartbeat in my veins. Even though we were back from the realm, the sensation hadn’t left, but it was different now, stronger and pounding. Like he was scared.
I watched as he took his seat, and I didn’t stop when I sat next to him. He refused to make eye contact with me, and if I tried to catch his eyes, he focused on his bandages. He had three—one wrapped around his torso, and two circled his wrists—but I could only see one that encased his hand. His long sleeves hid the rest. They would be off before tonight.
“Are you okay?” I whispered.
“Class is going to start,” he said, just as Ms. Hinkel came in and demanded our attention.
Homeroom passed, and when the bell rang, he gathered his things without talking to me. Sweat collected on his brow. His heartbeat increased.
I grabbed his arm before he could walk away. “What’s up with you?”
“Huh?” His sunken eyes made him look asleep, like he was stuck in a dreamland far away from me.
“You’ve been quiet all morning.” I walked by his side as he headed for the lunchroom. “Are you tired?”
He didn’t respond.
“Do you have a headache?” I searched his face for any sign of response, but his expression was stoic. “If it’s from your concussion, you should relax—”
“I’m fine, Jessica,” he snapped.
When I stopped, he did, too.
His green eyes widened as he searched my face, and then, his arm shot out and wrapped around my shoulders. “I’m sorry.” His breath was against my forehead, and he breathed twice before he spoke again. “Everything is going to be okay,” he said it like it wasn’t going to be.
My palm landed on his chest just as he stepped away from me. “Eric?”
He smiled, but I knew it was forced. It was the way his upper lip extended to the right instead of the left, the way his shoulders fell, the way he adjusted his backpack to distract himself. Even if we had only known one another for a year, I knew him well enough to know when he was lying.
“It’s nothing,” he said again before I could ask him what was wrong. He ran a hand through his hair, and his bangs stuck together like he hadn’t showered. “We should probably get to lunch. You have to talk to Crystal, don’t you?” This time, his smile was sincere.
I shot one back, and we walked together, but didn’t hold hands. He kept his on his bag, and I stuck mine in my pockets. It was cold outside, but it was warm enough for the students to sit there. Everyone was desperate for fresh air.
“Want my jacket?” he asked as we approached the elongated bench where everyone always sat, but Crystal was the only one who had arrived.
“I’m fine.”
Eric dropped his bag by the table and shook off his coat. Before I could continue arguing, he handed it over, and I slipped it on.
Crystal watched, and a grin broke her lips. “Aren’t you two adorable?”
“Yeah. Yeah.” I sat down next to her and pulled out my lunch. Eric sat on my other side.
Crystal had to lean over to get his attention. “So, where’d you two go?” Unlike the previous times she had spoken to Eric, she didn’t stutter this time. Whatever horrible past they had was starting to melt away. “Aruba? The Caribbean?” She rolled her eyes. “Please, tell me it wasn’t somewhere lame like Seattle. It just rains there. I need some sunshine.”
“Georgia,” Eric answered.
“My extended family still lives there.” I seconded the lie the Dark created.
“Didn’t realize you had extended family,” Zac spoke before I saw him, and he kissed Crystal on the cheek before I could stop him. His dark eyes were on me the entire time, but I didn’t hold his gaze for long. Robb and Linda had joined us. She was in the lunch period before ours, so she would have to leave soon.
“Hey, guys,” Robb spoke for both of them.
Crystal chirped a reply, but I didn’t hear it. I was too busy remembering what he had done, how he didn’t remember, how only Zac remembered.
“You were saying?” Zac pressed as he put his coffee on the table. He must have stolen it from the teacher’s room.
“My dad’s family lives in Atlanta,” I managed. It wasn’t a complete lie. My uncle lived there, but my dad hadn’t spoken to his brother in years. As far as I knew, they had never forgiven o
ne another over their mother’s will. It was one of the reasons my dad was happy to move to Kansas when he got the chance. We didn’t talk about it any more than that.
“Isn’t that where you moved from?” Zac asked.
I nodded. “But we moved around a lot for his job.”
“What does he do anyway?”
“Enough questions,” Eric snapped.
I jumped at his tone, but when I looked at him, I froze. Aside from his flushed cheeks, his complexion had paled. “Eric—”
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Robb interrupted.
I glanced over, expecting him to be looking at Linda, but his eyes were on the last person I expected. He was talking to Eric.
Eric shifted away from me.
“About that thing we were talking about earlier,” Robb continued.
When they were silent, I looked between the two, twisting my neck to the left to see Eric, turning it to the right to see Robb. They never broke eye contact.
“You two were talking earlier?” Crystal giggled. “What a reunion.”
Robb smiled. “It’s good to be friends again.”
“So, talk here,” Linda spoke up.
Robb waved her away. “It’s guy stuff.”
“Guys don’t have stuff.” Crystal took Linda’s side of all people. Apparently, everyone had made up while we were gone. I wondered if they had lost more memories than the bar, if the illusion was affecting more than just their thoughts, but it wasn’t like I could ask.
Eric stood up. “We can talk.”
Robb mirrored his movements. “We’ll be right back,” he spoke to Linda instead of anyone else. She didn’t even look at him as they left. I had to pull my eyes off the blonde to watch Eric walk away with Robb, forcing myself to remember how they had fought in the hallway only a few months prior.
Crystal leaned over to steal my chips. “That’s the weirdest thing I’ve seen all day.”
“Not really,” Zac joined in. “They have a lot to work through.”
Hannah Blake. Even if Robb had forgotten the bar and the fights, he had to remember Hannah’s death. Everyone did. Her memorial was displayed in the school, right outside of the principal’s office. The only other girl Eric had loved was someone I would never meet, but Robb knew her. As far as Crystal had told me, they had all been best friends. It was just another world I would never know. The only unique part I did know was her Dark name—Abby. Eric never called her Hannah.
My hands curled against my legs, but I only noticed when Crystal bumped her shoulder against mine. “Lighten up, Taylor,” she said, but she covered her giggle when it escaped her. “I guess you’ll be a Welborn eventually.”
“I guess so,” I muttered through my embarrassment, but my breath caught when I saw my ring.
The piece of jewelry that bound Eric and I together was glowing, but it was doing more than that. The metal was warm against my cooling skin. Even in the January weather, it pressed against my finger as if it yearned to be inside of me. The warmth coursed through my veins like blood, like it was alive, but I hid it in my pocket like I had to make it stay.
21
Eric
Robb leaned against the brick wall so he could face the bench. It was yards away, too far for even Jessica to hear, and he wanted it that way. But it was close enough for others to see us, and I wanted it that way. Even if Robb put up an illusion to hurt me, Jessica would know. Her senses were strong enough for that. To keep calm, I imagined half of the student body was in the Dark, but it also meant the other half was in the Light—when, in reality, they could’ve all been humans. Mindy was the first one I thought of before Robb’s smirk appeared.
“So, who’s going to talk first?” he pondered aloud.
“Looks like you just did.”
He chuckled, raising his finger to point at me. “That’s what I always liked about you, Eric—your wit.”
I wanted to punch the smile off his face.
“I miss that about you.”
“I don’t miss you at all,” I growled.
Robb’s eye twitched. “We used to be friends, Welborn.”
“Good thing we aren’t anymore.” After all, I was destined to kill him. It was that reason I gave up all my friends in the first place, including him. But I remembered how he fought it, how he came to Abby’s funeral, how he showed up at my house and tried to convince my father to let him in. I counted how many times he came.
“Sixteen,” Robb said as he looked at the sky. “Sixteen times I came to your house, and sixteen times you ignored me.”
Apparently, he was thinking the same thing.
“I suppose you were right to.”
“You killed her,” I spat.
Robb’s brown eyes shot down to me, but he wasn’t glaring. “Fudicia did it.” Even I had seen her peek inside the car. “But that’s not what matters,” he paused to fiddle with his shirt. Cigarettes poked out from his pocket, but he didn’t take one out. It wasn’t allowed on campus. It would only bring more attention to us.
“Go ahead,” I coaxed, hoping he would fall for it, but he was smarter than that.
“I’m not an idiot.” He pushed them back into his shirt. “I was afraid you’d forget.”
He knew it would take me a while to remember it all, and I was the one who had fallen for his plan. I had admitted to my memory when I blamed him for Abby. It was all a game for him.
“Did you even try to break up with Jess?” he asked.
“I’m not leaving her.”
“Then, our deal isn’t going to work out.” After he spoke, he hissed and waved his hand. A shallow burn reddened his skin.
I spun around. Jessica waved her hand as she stood up. Zac was already apologizing. He had spilled his coffee on her, and her injury appeared on Robb, too. When I tried to go to her, Robb gripped my shoulder. My neck burned.
“You said you wouldn’t hurt her,” I snapped.
“Not if you follow the deal.”
My jaw ached.
“That includes you hurting me,” Robb reminded me.
“She’s my fiancée.” I pulled away from his grip. “She won’t accept a breakup without question.”
“That’s your problem, Welborn,” Robb said, “but I suggest you figure it out fast.”
I stared at Zac, knowing he was in on it. Jessica had been right from the beginning, and I defended him when I should’ve trusted her instinct. “Who’s he? The half-breed?”
Robb didn’t respond.
“That makes Linda Fudicia,” I told him everything I knew. “Half-siblings, after all.” The reason for their sudden transfer was starting to make sense. Robb needed his henchmen, and if I had to guess, Crystal was one of them, too. I just didn’t know who.
Robb walked past me and shrugged like he didn’t care. “Do what you want to them.” He didn’t care about anything but himself, the Light, and Jessica. “They can defend themselves.”
He walked away, but I followed him like the shadow I was. “My people can defend themselves, too,” I threatened. Jessica and Jonathon were stronger than he thought. “You just wait.”
“Use your actions instead of your words, Welborn,” Robb whispered. As we approached, he lightened his stance, even grinning as he waved at the others. “I leave for two minutes and you guys get in a fight.”
“It was an accident.” Crystal wiped her sweater with napkins. Zac had gotten her, too. “We’re fine, other than my clothes.”
“I’ll buy you new ones,” Zac promised.
Crystal was glowing. “Today?”
“Sure thing.”
“What do you say, Jess?” Crystal’s hands were on Jessica’s shoulders like she was about to hug her. “It’d be fun.”
“It wasn’t my clothes that got ruined,” she laughed, but it strained against her throat. She was trying to clean my jacket.
I touched her arm to get her attention. “It’s fine.”
“I’m sorry,” she started to speak, but she stopped wh
en she saw my face. I hated to think about what she saw. She knew me well enough to know something was wrong. Her eyes darted between Robb and I, and I hoped she would see what he was, but she turned back to me. Her focus wasn’t on him. “Are you okay—?”
“Can we talk?”
Her face flushed. “Sure.”
“Alone.”
She looked back at her friends, the people that were truly her enemies, but she nodded. “We’ll be right back.” She followed me without question until I headed for the willow tree. “Why are we going way up here?”
It was our tree. I had to give her any sign I could that I didn’t mean what I was about to say, and I needed to find any comfort I could in order to lie. As I stared at the tree, at its base where I almost died, I almost wished I had.
“My memories are coming back,” I muttered as I tore my eyes off the grass. “All of them.”
She waited, as I knew she would. After all, she knew how horrible memory loss was, and it sickened me to use it against her.
“What did Darthon tell you?” I asked.
She glanced over her shoulder.
“No one can hear us,” I promised.
When she faced me, she brushed her hair out of her face. She only did that when she was nervous. “Why are you asking that?”
“Did he tell you that you were like him?”
Her shoulders lifted.
“Because he told me that.”
“What—”
“I know it’s true,” I forced the words out, but couldn’t force myself to look at her. If I pretended I was talking to someone else, I could do it. I could convince myself it was the act it was, the script Darthon—Robb McLain—had forced on me. If I didn’t do it, he would hurt her again, and I couldn’t have that. Not until I could figure out a way for us to fight back.
“So, what?” Jessica spoke up, and it was the last thing I thought she would say. “So, what if I’m like him?”
I blinked. “So, you are a light.”
“And a shade,” she pointed out. “We can find a way to tell the elders, and they’ll understand just like you—” She tried to touch me.
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