Mia picks up right away. “Hey, babe,” she says, totally happy to hear my voice. “How’s summer treating you?”
“Where to start?” I tell her everything as accurately as I can, starting with Madison’s death and moving on to my assignment, Esposito, the club and, of course, Jaxson Cole. I tell her how fiery and sexy and out of my league he is, how he irritates me by calling me by my first and last name and how I need her to tell me that I should forget he exists.
“Ella, love, you’re in denial,” Mia says. “That’s okay. You kind of live in denial. Every man is into you. You have that little waist and that big brain and that’s more than enough to tame these dim-witted beasts called men.”
“You are awesome,” I say. “I miss you. I love the way you lie to me.”
“Chill, Rihanna,” she says. “I’m truth talking now. You’re into each other. And you need to get a taste of that hot-dog-on-a-stick. That boy is world class man flesh. I actually hate you right now.”
Okay, that wasn’t as helpful as I was hoping.
—nine—
June 26
He calls right after lunch as I sit down in my cubicle at the Daily Scandal to copy some files from my computer onto a flash drive. It’s not that I didn’t know he’d call eventually because, let’s face it, he wouldn’t have orchestrated our little naughty exploration at the strip club only to never call me again. But I wanted him to call as soon as possible—maybe that same evening after we left the club or the next morning at the latest and I wanted him to be anxious, funny and cryptic as always, and asking me to meet with him again.
I didn’t expect him to wait a whole forty-eight hours. So I answer the phone without enthusiasm. “Hey, Jax,” I say, finding that my heart is not quite on board with the calm in my voice, pumping like crazy in my chest. With every passing moment, I want him more.
“I’ll pick you up tonight,” he says. “Dress nice, really nice.”
“Just like that?” I say, getting a little bit annoyed at his confidence. Actually, thank God for his arrogance. It’s the one thing that grounds me and keeps me somewhat sane around him.
“Yes, just like that. Unless you want to say no, of course.”
Yep, he’s cornered me. He’ll probably corner me at every turn until I give him what he wants—and I wish I knew what the hell that might be.
“Fine,” I say, accepting defeat. “Is this business or fun?”
He chuckles. “Fun, I hope.”
So here’s the deal. It’s hopeless, I can’t resist him. I put my head face down on the desk as soon as we hang up, trying to level-off the dizzying roller-coaster I’ve been put through. It’s times like this, when my limitations are tested, that I’m reminded I’ve been on my own too long.
Even when living with my mother, I locked myself in my room for hours on end. It didn’t seem to bother her. She also values solitude. I never learned how to be relaxed around other people, how to fully join in their company while being myself. Even with Mia, my best friend from elementary school, I’m guarded at times.
Jaxson is beyond the shadow of a doubt the most thrilling, dynamic, sexy man I’ve ever come across and giving into him and his game could be the single, most damaging mistake of my life.
Everything I am and have been could shatter against his spectacular, but impossible to navigate coastline. He feels like an undiscovered country, savagely beautiful, yet deathly dangerous.
There will always be someone better equipped to conquer him, someone smarter, sexier or wilder. I don’t want to submit myself to the misery of always failing by comparison.
I am the unchallenged Queen of my own small world. Venture beyond that, ask for more and I’ll be left by the roadside of those dreams eventually. I have no illusions about that—it will happen. Jaxson will lose interest, be it tomorrow, a week, a month or a year from now.
The evening finds me waiting for him in my yellow chiffon dress, hair pinned up in a loose bun, my favorite crystal drop earrings and my light, bergamot perfume.
I’m not ashamed to admit I sprayed a few perfume drops on my breasts and panties. Like a good boy scout, always be prepared.
Jax arrives at the apartment on time, looking absolutely dashing in his dark blue suit and light gray shirt. His blond hair has been carefully spiked and his tanned face looks healthier and fresher than ever.
“This is ridiculous,” I say, pointing at our dressed to the nines bodies. “We look like we’re going to the opera?”
His lips part in a devilish smile. “Welcome to my world, Ella Wade,” he says, offering me his arm. I wrap my arm around his as he leads me to his car, an older Mercedes sedan. That’s as far as my knowledge of cars goes.
As Jax opens the door, I can’t help but think of Rick Esposito and what he would think if he saw me now. He didn’t take it to heart when I turned down his dinner invitation but he did repeat I should stay away from Jaxson during the investigation. So much for that.
Popping out of the car in front of the Mauve restaurant, Jax hands his keys to the valet and then leads me by the hand up the steps to one of the most expensive dining venues in the world.
We enter a huge hall with impressive chandeliers and all kinds of gourmet food splayed out on buffets. We walk past all that splendor to a smaller area where the tables are private, separated by dividers with elaborate nature paintings on them.
The hostess seats us at a secluded table where a bottle of cooled white wine waits for us.
“What do you think?” Jax says, pouring wine into our glasses.
“You could have taken me to Olive Garden, you know. I love the breadsticks.”
“I’ll keep it in mind next time,” he says. “Models are not big on breadsticks.”
“Your job sucks,” I tease.
“Totally,” he says and then raises his glass. “To a happy evening.”
“Amen,” I say, taking a sip of the wine. “Mmm, that’s good.”
“I thought you’d like it.”
“Really? And why is that?”
“You like understated things.”
“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or an insult.”
“It’s a statement,” he says. “I could be wrong.”
“You’re not understated.”
“Well then, I hope I’m wrong about what you like.”
“You know what I think, Jax?” I say, drinking more delicious wine. “I think a day will come when your wings get clipped and that will be good for you.”
“How about the day I asked you out and you refused?”
“And yet here we are, out together. Jax always wins.”
“I understand what you’re saying, but my life is not all that.”
“I don’t mean to be judgmental,” I explain. “I just hope you know nobody can stay on top forever. Life has its own gravity.”
He smiles. “And you’re worried about me,” he says. “Is that what you do? Worry about everyone and forget yourself completely? That way you never have to risk anything. Smart.”
A little hostility stirs in my belly. I stare at him for a while, saying nothing. I replay what we just said to each other. We’ve both managed to condescend and insult each other, but I decide I like that about us.
“Jaxson Cole,” I say and then just smile for him. “I didn’t tell you, I kind of enjoy saying your whole name too.”
“Is that right, Ella Wade?”
I don’t answer. I live in this electric moment between us. The future and past seem so unnecessary. To linger in his eyes in the here and now. This is all I want, this tender magic.
“Shall we order?” Jax finally says. I watch him whisper the words off his lips like so many escaped kisses.
I’m a total hot mess. I need to get my feelings back under control. “Is Brad a model like you?”
His eyes resume a more playful state. “You can say that. He does a lot of nudes. I mean, dude loves it. He’s the drummer in a rock band or two. He has no use for fame or money or thin
gs like that. Brad is the one living on a high. Adrenaline is his game. That guy doesn’t know what a loss would look like.”
Okay, I have not the slightest clue how to react to this information. I don’t even know why I asked in the first place.
“Madison’s father is in town,” I say, changing subject. “He will…”
Jax takes my hand, interrupting me. “Ella, let’s make tonight about us. It’s not about Brad or Madison or anyone else on this planet. Ask me anything you want about me.”
Us. He said us. I tuck the shock in the back of my head, gulping down some more wine. Where’s the waiter anyway? “Where are you from?”
“Arcadia, Nebraska,” he says proudly. “Population 406 last time I checked. Although everyone’s old there. So that number is always precarious.”
The most delicious guy in the world, the utterly sophisticated Jaxson Cole was born in a tiny Nebraska dirt town?
“Why the teasing face?” Jax says.
“It sounds, you know, quaint.”
“You mean boring,” he says as his eyes sparkle in the candlelight. “Why do you think I left? Actually, everyone leaves for a time. Some come back.”
Jax leans over to rub his thumb lightly on my cheek. “What do you like, Ella Wade?”
“That’s rather vague,” I say, fighting the swelling inside my chest and the tingling on my skin. My whole body is warming to him.
“Just say whatever comes to mind.” His smile is encouraging and infuriating at the same time.
“I like strawberries and the rain at the beach and books that make me disappear into other worlds.”
Jax shakes his head. “No, what do you really like?”
What on Earth does that mean? “Let’s see,” I say, trying to humor him. “I like people who are honest but lie to spare others’ feelings. I like generosity. I like determination. Better?”
“Worse. Do you even know anything real about yourself? Are there any interesting things you like to do? Anything you’d like to explore?”
I hate it that I find him incredibly sexy right now. I should be pissed. He’s infuriating. “I like to drink cool martinis by a silver swimming pool with lily pads flowing about while a hot pool boy in a tattered white shirt and blue jeans fans me with two huge palm tree leaves. I like to contribute to society’s harmony by staying the hell out of it. And I like to type random words until a meaningful sentence magically forms on my screen in the shape of tiny little digits dancing in pajamas. I mostly like to stay out of the spotlight. How’s that, you total brat?”
“Much, much better.”
I don’t know why I do it, but I kick him under the table.
“I’m sorry, Jax, I thought I might like it.”
“I can see that you did,” he says with a hungry look in his eyes.
I would like to kiss it and make it all better. I’m really losing it. “You see whatever you want to see, obviously,” I say.
“That’s true, because right now I’m seeing you.”
I can’t win this war of words with him. Who knew a model could be so verbally skilled. That thought leads me to his tongue, the same tongue that so hotly displayed its magic in my mouth at the naughty dream chamber.
“How many women exactly have you seduced?” I say, trying to remind us both of who and what he is, a busy Casanova.
He doesn’t answer. Two waiters show up, carrying huge trays filled with all kinds of food most of which I wouldn’t be able to name.
“I don’t remember ordering,” I mumble.
“I took the liberty in advance. A little bit of everything.”
“My Lord, Jax. Just how much do you think I eat?”
“By the looks of it, not much. But this isn’t about eating, Ella Wade. This is about living and experiencing all that life has to offer.”
—ten—
The Thrill Of Being Really Alive
Outside the restaurant, we wait for the valet to bring the car. The night is getting chilly and I start rubbing my sleeveless arms to warm them up.
“Hey,” Jax says, noticing me shiver. His left arm wraps quickly around my shoulders, pulling me closer to his body heat. “Is this better?”
Everything is better when he does that. I nod, resting my head against his powerful chest, a little bit shocked at my nerve. Such intimacy must be as good as a confession of my heart.
It is. We both know it. His free hand reaches for my earlobe, playing with it. I turn my face to him, my breathing getting faster. He stares into my eyes for a second before his lips find mine. I practically fall into him, getting on tiptoes to get as much out of his kiss as possible.
My body responds to his passion as if I’ve been waiting to be kissed like that my entire life. I let my tongue loose in his mouth, following his cues and then inventing my own, getting to taste every little cell and taste bud on his tongue.
This kiss is so much more intense and meaningful than the naughty, bruising kisses we exchanged at the Club because this time it feels real.
The flash of a camera almost blinds me as it is directed at my face from only inches away. At least, that’s what it feels like. Before I can recover, a second flash goes off and then another.
Jax puts a protective arm around me while holding up a hand against the cameras to block them as much as possible.
“Hey, Jaxson,” one of the heads behind the cameras says. “New girlfriend already?”
Jaxson hisses a few curses under his breath as he pulls me by the hand, practically dragging me toward the oncoming car that luckily turns out to be his Mercedes.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he says as we get in the car, banging his hands hard against the wheel again and again.
His reaction is a little alarming to me. I mean, I get that he doesn’t appreciate being followed by the paparazzi and lord knows the last thing I need is my face plastered all over the internet, kissing the man everyone thinks was Madison’s boyfriend, but Jaxson’s meltdown is a bit over the top.
“Jax, are you okay?” I ask him as soon as he calms enough to drive away.
“Those motherfuckers will have those pictures of us everywhere by the morning,” he says. “With all kinds of asinine commentary to go with them. They’ll rip us apart, Ella.”
“Hey, I have no room to judge them,” I say, trying to relax him. “I’m working for the Daily Scandal for fuck’s sake.”
He is not amused, not in the least. “Publicity is not good right now, Ella. Not for you and not for me. Trust me, it’s the last thing we need.”
I shrug. “Let them think what they want. Who cares?”
“You don’t?”
“No, I don’t,” I say even if it’s not completely true. It won’t look good that Jaxson would go out with Madison’s stepsister but all he has to do is make it clear they were never a couple. The thing is we kissed and fireworks brightened up my world. They still do. To hell with everything else. If he wants me as much as he says, he should feel the same.
“You don’t care?” Jax says. “Then you’re more naïve than I thought.”
Am I hurt by his words? Yes, I am. Not only because he has obviously thought me naïve all along, but also because his reputation seems far more important to him than our relationship. It could also be that he has something else to hide but I don’t want to go there right now.
I stare out the window, silent, gathering the strength to ask him to drop me back at my place. He pulls over suddenly in front of a park.
He turns the engine off and brushes his hair back with both hands. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
“It’s fine,” I say. “You were upset.”
“The thing is, tomorrow everyone will know who you are which means we won’t be able to get any information from the Club. We’ll be made, Ella. And it’s all because I stupidly took you there to impress you. I should have let Brad work his angle on his own.”
The club. He’s right, I forgot about that. “You were trying to impress
me?” I say, fighting a grin. “By taking me to a strip joint?”
He smiles, nodding. “You can laugh freely. In my immense brilliance, I thought you’d want to spend time with me if you knew I had crucial information to share with you.”
Wow. Just wow. He actually spent time thinking how to get me to hang out with him? What the hell? Has he ever looked in a mirror? As superficial as it sounds, no single woman in her right mind would turn down an opportunity to get to know him better. I should be thrilled except it doesn’t sound believable. I’m sure there’s more to this than he wants me to know.
He opens his door to get out and circles the car to open mine. I welcome the cool, fresh air that enters my pores and nostrils. Jaxson takes off his jacket to wrap it around my shoulders. He takes my hand and we walk through the empty park until we get to some trees.
Jaxson pushes me backward until my back is up against a tree trunk. “You’re so beautiful, Ella. So courageous,” he whispers in my ear.
And there, in the midst of the turmoil and uncertainty we have created, Jaxson kisses me again. His strong, muscular body crushes onto mine, literally pushing me into the tree.
His hand cups the back of my neck as he forces his tongue deeper into my mouth, searching to reveal all the secrets of my blood.
I curl my arms around his neck, unable to pretend a second longer. He has created a perfect symphony of sounds and sensations inside my body and he has a right to enjoy the results.
Our mouths stay glued for a while and we kiss and tug at each other’s lips, licking, sucking, devouring. Pure ecstasy courses through my veins, arousing my most sensitive spots.
“We should go back,” I whisper with a groan because I want him so bad and I can’t exactly have him here in the park. I need to get behind a closed door and take his clothes off.
“Don’t you want to feel alive?” he says, his eyes gleaming with possibilities and promises.
I nod, biting on his earlobe gently. “I do. I feel alive, Jax.”
“No,” he says. “You don’t know the thrill of being really alive. I used to own it but now I only get glimpses of it. You make me feel alive more than anything else in a long time.”
Scandal: The Complete Series Page 6
