He gave a tiny shake of his head. “I’m not even going to tell you to stop this time.”
His body moved faster than my brain could process as he lowered his head and covered my mouth with his, shoving me roughly against the door in the same movement. He immediately speared my mouth open with his tongue, seeking out my own. Our mutual moans at the touch were heavy with arousal and relief. It was like both of our bodies relaxed in the same instant when our lips connected, like a huge weight was lifted off of both of us.
It had been so long since we’d done this. Years since we’d last kissed.
He locked both of my hands in place with his body, pinning me to the wood with his hips. Those hips started rolling into mine, his thick shaft thrusting into my core, which was throbbing with need. I ate at his mouth and he completely devoured mine, our bodies re-discovering each other and what this felt like.
He angled his head to the side, taking the kiss deeper, our heavy breathing becoming hotter. Suddenly, I felt his fingers covering mine over the zipper at my back and he slowly started to drag them down with his, lowering the zipper further.
It was a heady moment as that zipper moved downward. The only sounds in that hallway were our breaths and the quiet hiss of the material opening. Every millimeter it moved was another second for one of us to stop this because the further it lowered, the closer we moved toward rolling around naked on my sheets.
And we both knew it.
He kept moving it and I didn’t stop him, until it finally reached the edge of the material. His hand froze for only a second before gliding his fingers over my bare skin, touching every inch that was now exposed.
Between the way he was touching me and the way he was sucking out all of my oxygen through his mouth, I could hardly breathe, making me lightheaded. And when his hand started to move toward the hem of my dress, I pulled away, breaking the kiss.
His face said he already knew what was coming before I even said it. Probably didn’t even need to say it, but I did. “This probably isn’t a good idea tonight.”
He nodded reluctantly. We both knew it was the truth. It just sucked.
“I know,” he breathed, still panting harshly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed.”
I smiled at him. “You didn’t. I wanted it, too. I just don’t want us to be drunk the first time we do this. Especially after all this time.”
His face softened. “Me either. I want us to remember every moment of it.”
I put my hand on his chest and he immediately covered it with his own. “I’m not entirely sure what’s happening here, but whatever it is, I want to take it slow. There’s a lot of complicated stuff between us, and if this is real, I don’t want to ruin it by going too fast.”
His grip tightened on my hand. “I know. I’m not going to mess it up this time, Kin. I swear to you. We’ll go as slow as you want. I’ll wait however long you need me to.”
I hated that my eyes burned with the threat of tears. I didn’t want to turn all emotional on him. Stupid alcohol.
“Why don’t we just take it one day at a time, okay?”
He nodded, his smile both joyous and relieved. “Whatever you want.”
I gently pulled my hand away and stepped inside the bedroom. “I’ll see you in the morning,” I told him, my heart beating a mile a minute with the implication of this change in our relationship.
The look he gave me was reassuring. It said that he was going to remember all of this in the morning and things weren’t going to go back to the way they were. That we hadn’t made a mistake and that he wanted this just as badly as I did.
“Sleep tight, Kin.”
##
It was really no surprise that all of my dreams—and yes, there was more than one—were all about sex, with Parker. I woke up only slightly less worked up than when I went to sleep.
But that took a back seat to the hangover I was currently nursing.
This was when alcohol turned into your worst enemy—in the form of a grueling headache, a queasy stomach, and a taste in your mouth that made you wonder when the hell you stopped for Mexican food before you came home.
I needed a hangover cure in a bad way.
I stumbled out of my bedroom, relieved that Parker wasn’t standing in the hallway with a shit-eating grin on his face, and carefully walked into the bathroom.
Yep, I looked like death.
Between not getting all of my makeup off last night and sleeping with my hair down, I looked like I could have been an extra in Zombieland. I did what I could with a hair tie and a water scrub to the face, but in the end I just said screw it. If Parker couldn’t take me at my most unattractive, then he shouldn’t even waste his time. Because I definitely didn’t bother with makeup and a curling iron every single day, especially when I was working.
I made my way downstairs—again, carefully due to my pounding head—and smelled the food before I even got to the kitchen. Though it smelled amazing, my stomach rebelled at the idea of digesting any kind of food right now.
Parker was standing at the stove with his back to me, wearing flannel lounge pants and a long-sleeve thermal when I made it to the kitchen area. “Morning,” he said, turning to me with a knowing smirk on his face.
“Uhhgmmph,” was my mumbled response. My head was buried in my folded arms on the bar, so there was no telling what that word was supposed to be.
Parker chuckled, sliding a glass of orange juice and a couple of blue pills my way. “Take those and drink that.”
I did as he said, the juice already lubricating my cottonmouth. “How are you so chipper and lively this morning? You drank more than I did.”
He went back to stirring something in the skillet on the stove and pointed his spatula at me. “One, you’re kind of a lightweight and I’m a heavyweight champion. Two, I chugged some water right before I fell asleep last night. And three, I’ve never really had bad hangovers.” He glanced at me sympathetically and added, “Sorry. I should have made you take some pain killers before you fell asleep but I didn’t think about it.”
I blushed and lowered my gaze, knowing precisely why he wouldn’t have thought about it. I didn’t think about jack shit after that mind-blowing kiss last night.
I tried to shake my head, but the effort to do so was too much what with my brain rattling around up there. “It’s my fault. I don’t drink like that very often, so my tolerance was pretty low.”
He walked over to the counter and dumped some sausage patties onto a plate and then proceeded to douse them both with maple syrup. I watched him, completely perplexed and grossed out at the same time. I actually leaned back, not wanting to touch the offensive food, when he pushed the plate over to me.
“Best hangover cure ever. Trust me.”
I stared down at the disgusting-looking combination, doubt marring my features. “There are so many things wrong with this picture, I don’t even know where to start. Plus, my stomach couldn’t handle that right now anyway.”
He propped his hands on the counter and didn’t budge, just stared at me. “I promise it will make you feel better. The grease, mixed with the sweet and spicy of the sausage will work. I made this for Clay so many times in college, I’d take my word for it.”
Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my fork and started to dig in. “Fine, but if I get sick I’m going to make you clean it up.”
He dropped his chin in agreement. “Fair enough.”
After cleaning my plate, I actually felt somewhat human again. Parker sat on a stool next to me at the bar, having finished his own syrup sausage and scrambled eggs. He tried to push the eggs at me, but that really was taking it a little too far.
“Well, you were right. I do feel better.”
The look of smug satisfaction on his face should have annoyed me, but it somehow comforted me. “Told you. You’ll find I’m right about many things if you’d just listen to me.”
I rolled my eyes and lifted the mug of steaming coffee to my lips, savoring the feel of the hot liquid sli
de down my throat. That was sweet relief, that was.
“So, when do you have to go back to New York? Or are you going straight to another shoot?” he asked as he drank his own coffee.
The whole scene was strangely domestic for us, but oddly natural. After all we had been through, the two of us just sitting together eating breakfast and drinking coffee felt normal. Couldn’t explain that one.
“I’m going back to New York for a week or two. I’ve got some jobs around the city I’m going to do while I get prints ready for the gallery. What are your plans?”
“I’ve got to head down to Florida in two weeks for spring training. I’ll be there until the beginning of April, then back here for the regular season.”
Right. Because he was a major league baseball player.
It was actually easy to forget that sometimes when it was just me and him. It wasn’t like he acted like a million-dollar athlete or something. He was just the same Parker I’d known since I was a kid. And now I wasn’t the only person in the world vying for his attention, nor the only woman. The only times his celebrity status was really apparent was when I was in public with him and fans asked for his autograph.
Well, that and at his games. But I had never been to one of those.
Suddenly, I got a truly overwhelming desire to go to one. I wanted to support him, cheer for him, and make up for all the games I’d missed. Because even though we’d had a falling out, he was still one of the most important people in my life, and I felt guilty as hell that I never went to one of his games after we’d ended things. I should have been able to suck up my heartache and be there for him.
I’d just known that it would have been too painful.
So, I took the coward’s way out and never went.
“I can’t believe it’s already time for spring training,” I mused. “Time is going by so fast. It felt like it was Christmas just yesterday.”
He didn’t respond and I looked over at him to see if he heard me. He was staring at me with narrowed eyes and a somber look on his face, wheels turning behind his brown eyes. “What?”
“I’d really like it if you came to some of my games. I’ve missed having you there, Kin.”
The words broke my heart a little. He sounded like a little boy whose dog ran away. I knew how little his parents had paid attention to him growing up, especially his success in baseball. I knew how much it meant to him to have people he loved there, supporting him. Knowing that I’d missed out on all these years made me disappointed in myself. But more than anything, it just made me sad.
Sad that Parker and I had missed out on all those years together.
“I’d love to see you play.”
Hope blossomed in his eyes and his entire face lit up in excitement. I swear, this man was going to break me down completely until I was a quivering mess. “Really?”
I just nodded, memorizing the look of happiness on his face. It was that vulnerability that had first endeared me to Parker all those years ago. I’d been fascinated by the boy who had so many secrets, so much pain behind his eyes. As he grew older, his eyes hardened and his exterior became tougher, but I knew at the center of it he was still soft, still pliant. Part of him would always be that little boy who just wanted someone to love him.
He tried to hide his huge smile behind his mug but was unsuccessful. “Okay, great. Um, just tell me what games you’ll be able to make it to and I’ll make sure you have a ticket.”
My family, along with his brothers, shared season ticket seats at Fenway. Since everyone couldn’t make it to all of the games in Boston, the rotation schedule we used usually worked. Of course, I’d never worried about it because I’d never once used one of the tickets.
I was mentally going through my schedule over the next few months and remembered something. “Where is your spring training at in Florida?”
“Fort Myers. Why?”
“I have a photo shoot in Key West at a resort down there from March eighth through the tenth. I could probably just fly over to Fort Myers after I’m done, stay a few days and watch some of your games. Would that be alright?”
He slowly blinked at me, as if he couldn’t comprehend what I’d just said. For almost a minute, his face was just a blank mask and then finally started to take on actual expression again. The corners of his mouth ticked in a tentative smile, like he didn’t want to believe it and get too excited if what I’d said wasn’t true.
“You’d actually fly there to see me play?” The shock in his question made me want to cry for him.
I shrugged, fighting back the emotions swirling around inside my heart. “I’ll already be down there. Key West is just a quick flight away from Fort Myers, so it really wouldn’t be a problem. Plus, I’m sure you could use a cheering section, right?”
He nodded, swallowing slowly. “Yeah, I could. That would mean a lot to me.” The look in his eyes told me he was sincere.
“Well, you wanting me there means a lot to me.”
We were quiet for a few minutes as we both lost ourselves in our own thoughts. I was dying to know what he was thinking about, but I was also okay with not knowing for now. After a while, he spoke again.
“We don’t have to talk about what last night meant if you’re not ready for it. If you don’t want to go there, I’m fine with it for now. But I want to make something clear before we go any further and especially before we’re apart from each other for another month.”
I turned to him, recognizing the seriousness in his voice. “What’s that?”
His brown eyes flickered to me, penetrating me with such ferocity that I almost gasped out loud, as ridiculous as that sounded. He just looked so strong and powerful when he had that domineering look in his eyes. It probably wasn’t the most appropriate time, but it was turning me on in a crazy way.
“If we’re going to do this, regardless of whether or not we’re defining it yet, I need to know that I’m the only man in your life. I’m serious, Kin. If we’re going to give ourselves a real chance this time, I need to know that I’m the only one getting that chance with you. I won’t be able to handle it if I think you’re seeing someone else.”
I had to admit that I was taken aback by this. Part of me wanted to be offended by it, but I also understood why he felt it necessary to say.
“Parker, I would never get involved with you if I thought there was even an idea of someone else. If I’m in this with you, I’m all in.” He let out a breath, as if he’d been holding it until he heard my response.
“But I need that promise from you, too,” I added. I waited until his eyes met mine again to continue. “I can’t imagine how crazy life can be for you, but I know that you have thousands of women throwing themselves at you wherever you go. I need to know that none of them are taking my place when we’re apart. I’d never be able to handle the thought of that.”
He smiled sweetly at me and pulled my bar stool closer to his until my legs were tucked between his thighs. He captured my face in his hands, just like he did last night, and pierced my green eyes with his brown ones.
“No one could ever replace you. Trust me, I’ve tried.” I frowned at that but he went on. “I mean, I’ve tried to find someone who made me feel the way you do and I’ve never met anyone who even came close.” That was better. “If you want me, you have me. All of me. I give you my word.”
My smile was so big it almost hurt. He couldn’t have said it any better. Though he did make it better when he brought his lips down to mine, crushing them in a hard, firm kiss that said so much more than words ever could. It said that I never needed to worry about him forgetting me when we weren’t together. It said that this thing between us was real—always had been—and that he was serious about making it work this time.
And it said that no one else would be kissing me like this while he was around.
I most definitely had to agree with that last one.
Nobody else on the planet could kiss like Parker Cruz anyway.
Chapter Ni
neteen
Parker
“You’re lookin’ pretty weak there, Cruz!” Corbins shouted over his shoulder as he walked to the bull pen.
I shook my head and grinned. “Might want to worry about your own shit, Corbins. I know how many times you missed your spot in the seventh yesterday. Moberly saved your ass.”
All the guys in the vicinity who heard me busted up laughing. Corbins mumbled something under his breath and kept walking because he knew I was right. We may have won last night but some of the guys hadn’t been on their game, Corbins and his pitching included.
I hit a couple more balls and then stepped away from the plate, allowing Moberly to step up and get his batting practice in. It was two hours before our evening game but the whole day had been a scorcher and the sun hadn’t let up yet.
Three weeks down in Florida might sound like heaven on earth to many Bostonians, but that’s only if you can spend every day on the beach. I loved this game, but there were days when sliding around in the grass and dirt, and ultimately sweating your balls off in the humidity was fun and days when it wasn’t. I’d handled it when I was a kid—didn’t even notice the weather most of the time when we played—but age made you notice a lot more things that you otherwise wouldn’t have when you were an idiot adolescent.
Despite the heat, though, playing with all these guys on a field again felt like coming home.
I loved our feeling of family and comradery, how close a lot of us were. We hadn’t had many trades the last couple of seasons. A new pitcher or power hitter here and there but we still had the same core group we had three seasons ago. Most of us were like brothers and like brothers, we busted each other’s balls constantly. Admittedly, it made me miss Mason and Dawson.
I had to wonder sometimes if that was part of the reason I’d gotten so into baseball when I was a kid. To be around people who didn’t care where I came from.
I mean, I loved the sport with my heart and soul—it was part of who I was. But I met Clay and he introduced me to baseball and then we became best friends. When he had me join his Little League teams growing up, I always made new friends. I could remember looking forward to every game because I would get to see all my buddies, the ones who didn’t care where I lived or how much money my parents didn’t make.
Playing for Kinley (Cruz Brothers Book 1) Page 19
