Wounded Heroes Boxed Set

by Judith Arnold

  "Joe. Some things are just easier or better if I do them myself."

  "I didn’t say anything."

  "Your face did. You want to scoop me out of the chair and put me on the couch. You obviously want to do things for me."

  Her comment sounded like an accusation. "Is that bad?"

  "No, not in itself. But there are reasons I need to do for myself." He waited and she explained. "Take pushing the chair when I use the manual one. A wheeler wants control of her own speed and direction. If someone pushes her, quite frankly, it’s a bit scary. And I don’t have to exert as much effort as it looks. I did initially, but wheeling doesn’t tire me out now." She sighed. "Same goes for getting into the car."

  "I guess I’m an open book."

  Now she gave him a tender smile. "I love that about you. And as I said before, you’re a rescuer by nature. So as a compromise, if there’s a time I need your help, or it would just be easier for us as a couple, I’ll tell you."

  "It’s a deal." He moved in closer and slid his arm around her. She leaned her head on his shoulder, and he relished the feel and scent of her. A few hours ago, he’d thought he’d never experience having her close to him again.

  "I can tell you’re exhausted. Maybe you should have gone home."

  "Yeah, like that was going to happen. I finally get you to agree to see me and I’ll be damned if we don’t celebrate tonight."

  She clinked mugs with him. His brows rose.

  "What?" she asked. Her voice was flirty. "You wanted more than a toast?"

  "Hey, babe, I’m game for anything."

  "Joe, Ruth is here."

  "Oh, damn."

  "But I wanted to tell you something about her. After she discovered what we’d done with her profile, I manipulated her into going onto RightMatch. I told her she owed me because she kept your secret."

  "Well aren’t you a sneaky devil? Did it work?"

  "Uh-huh, my guess is she’s online with Jeremy right now."

  "Jeremy?"

  "A retired doctor who lives across town. He loves ballet, tennis and pool. Ruth’s three favorite things."

  "Have they met?"

  "No, though she told me they won’t wait as long as we did. She said they don’t have any time to waste."

  "Good for her. She might get laid before you do."

  Dana laughed out loud.

  But Joe sobered. He’d been wanting to ask her something, and this was an opening. "Dana, that night we did Ruth’s profile? You wouldn’t tell me what you wanted that you’d never told anybody."

  He felt her stiffen.

  "No, don’t do that. It’s okay to talk about things. I watched you with Ellie today. It’s what you wouldn’t share, right? That you want a baby."

  "How did you know?"

  "Mostly by the look on your face when you held her. And I’ve also been trying to figure out what it could be."

  "It’s not going to happen, Joe."

  He gave her body a clinical perusal. "As far as I can figure out, if you have a crush injury from the knees down, that shouldn’t affect getting pregnant and giving birth."

  "My doctor said the only drawback to conceiving now would be my age, which works against me. But carrying a child would bring a whole host of problems. Being confined to a wheelchair would make a pregnancy difficult. That could be overcome, but that’s only one reason it’s impossible."

  He could make several arguments but he’d let her have her say. "Why else?"

  "Joe, think about it. I couldn’t meet a baby’s needs. A scream in the middle of the night…the mechanics of changing and dressing him or her. And after that phase, I wouldn’t be able to chase a toddler, who’d be getting into everything. But the worst is, no matter what age the child is, I’m not capable of responding in an emergency." She sighed. "That’s terrifying regarding just me. I live in fear of getting in an accident or stuck somewhere and being unable to get myself out. I could never, ever risk all that with a child. If something happened to him or her because of my disability, I couldn’t live with the outcome."

  "I can understand that." He waited, making sure of what he wanted to say. "But there have to be ways around all that. Have you ever talked to anybody who’s in a chair and had kids?"

  "No, and I don’t want to analyze this to death. It’s just a fact of my life." She watched him with intense, dark eyes. "I never thought to ask, but I guess I should have. And you didn’t say anything on your profile. But do you want more kids? If so—"

  He cut her right off. "No, not necessarily. I have my two. But I’ve always thought if I remarried and the woman wanted some, we’d have one."

  "Are you sure?"

  "I said I wouldn’t lie anymore, honey."

  "All right." For a moment they were silent and Joe enjoyed the way she cuddled into him. Then she said, "Tell me about your job. What happened with the call you went on and weren’t supposed to?"

  Now this was a real disappointment. Joe’s job was central to his life and he rarely did anything to jeopardize it. But he’d lost his head after his fight with Dana. "My captain was really pissed at what I did. The worst part is, a promotion had just come through for me and he isn’t going to let me have it now."

  "Oh, dear, I’m sorry."

  "No, he’s right. I did a stupid thing. Acted out because I was mad. That’s not my usual style."

  "I can see that."

  "I’ll get the promotion eventually. But it stings."

  "I’m sorry for my part in it."

  Again, he didn’t want to think about that. "Okay, I’ll let you make it up to me."

  He kissed her then, lost himself in the slow, soft tumble of desire touching her brought on. He wanted to hop into bed with her to celebrate. But it was also true that there was something to be said about a gradual climb to making love.

  Chapter 11

  * * *

  NORMALLY, DANA HATED to shop. She bought her clothes online and knew her size by brand. So she rarely had to deal with dressing rooms. Trying things on in the privacy of her bedroom was more expeditious. And comfortable. But she’d accompanied Ruth to Bergman’s today because they both had dates tonight and Ruth wanted a new dress. Dana had tagged along to encourage Ruth’s interest in the handsome doctor.

  "Get something sexy," she said as they came off the elevator at the boutique’s second floor and headed to the dress department. The store wasn’t crowded and had hardwood floors. Dana made her way easily.

  "I’m sixty years old, dear."

  "Yeah, you’re sixty, not dead. For Pete’s sake, Ruth…"

  To Dana’s shock, Ruth giggled like a girl. "Okay. He’d like something sexy." She blushed. "He, um, says things online, you know."

  "Like?"

  "That we’re still young enough for romance. I think he means more." She rolled her eyes. "He said he means more."

  "I’ll bet. And he’s a handsome man." Ruth had shown her pictures of her new beau. Jeremy Johnson was over six feet tall, had a head of steel-gray hair and piercing blue eyes. He was damned attractive.

  Once they reached the dress department, Dana enjoyed browsing through the racks and picking out possibilities for Ruth’s outfit. They were on their way to a dressing room when Dana saw it.

  A lovely summer two-piece outfit in lavender. The material was frothy, it had a low neckline, was sleeveless, and the pants flowed down with a handkerchief hem at the ankles. The whole thing shimmered in the bright overhead light. Ruth stopped when she did. "Oh, my God, that’s perfect for you."

  Dana fingered the wispy material. "It’s beautiful."

  Gently, Ruth said, "We could buy it in two sizes. Try it on at home. I’ll take the other one back."

  "Maybe." Or maybe she was being a coward again, letting a public dressing room scare her. Lately, she had an aversion to fear. Joe would be proud of her if she crossed this hurdle. And in truth, she was tired of being so limited by risks she refused to take. Suddenly, she wanted to be like any other girl trying on clothes in
a store for her guy.

  "Hell, let’s bring both to the dressing room."

  "You’re kidding!"

  "Nope. I’m going to do this, Ruth."

  Ruth hugged her. "I’ll be right next door."

  "I know."

  In the large, handicap changing room, Dana transferred herself to the bench and began to remove her clothes. She could hear Ruth humming softly next door and felt safe. She slipped on the size eight and found it was just a bit too small on top, though the pants fit great. She’d just disrobed when she heard Ruth’s cell phone ring next door.

  "Hi, Jer." The sensual undercurrent in her friend’s voice was so good to hear. Ruth deserved this happiness. "Yes. I found a couple I like. No, Dana’s right next door. I can’t talk about that."

  Dana yelled out, "Yes, you can. Go find some privacy, I’m fine."

  "You sure?" Ruth returned.

  "Yes."

  Ruth left the area, and Dana grinned as she took the next-sized outfit off the hanger. It might be too big, but it was worth a look. As she was about to slip the top over her head, a loud noise rent the air and the clothes dropped from her hands. It took her a moment to realize the sound was a fire alarm.

  She was in her underwear.

  It took her a long time to dress.

  Ruth was off somewhere, far away.

  When she remembered that elevators locked up in fires, she panicked and lurched for her chair.

  But she grabbed on to it too hard as she caught the arm, and the whole thing tipped over on its side. Unbalanced, Dana fell to the floor with a thud.

  There was no way she could right the chair.

  Fear pounded in her chest as her skin scraped the rough rug. Suddenly she couldn’t breathe.

  Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

  ***

  JOE SAT ACROSS from Shelly at the outdoor eating area of Jines Diner, having come from a city school again. There’d been a bomb scare at a high school near here which turned out to be a hoax. They even caught the idiot kid who did it because he called from a cell phone and was overheard.

  After they ordered lunch, Shelly got that look in her eyes that meant trouble. "So you’ve been seeing Dana again for a week. I have to say, the relationship seems pretty off and on. It’s driving me crazy."

  "Cole says it’s common, though, for people to be more cautious in their forties."

  "How’s it going?"

  "Couldn’t be better. She’s a terrific person, Shell."

  "Tell me the truth. You have no reservations about getting serious with her?"

  Rarely did he lie to his partner. Nor she to him; she’d confessed an affair she’d had not too long ago that had almost ended her ten-year marriage. "Of course I do. I wonder if we’ll make it, will she get sick of me having a life she can’t share?"

  "And vice versa." At his questioning look, she added, "Will you get sick of her limitations?"

  "I won’t know until I try. But yeah, I do have twinges when I’m with her sometimes." He thought of her struggles getting in and out of the chair and how she had to make several trips in her chair because she could only carry so much in one hand.

  "You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t, Joe. But I worry about you falling for her."

  He shrugged. "I’m falling fast, I’ll tell you that. She’s so good, Shelly, so upbeat, so sane and sensible. I feel like I can tell her anything."

  "Does she know you have reservations about this relationship?"

  "No, but she’s got to have some, too. Like you said, we’re only human."

  His phone buzzed, and when he checked its ID, he didn’t recognize the caller. He said, "Hold on a sec," to Shelly and into the phone, "Moretti."

  "Joe, this is Ruth Cosgrove. I…" The woman sounded upset. Every protective instinct he had went on red alert.

  "What’s wrong, Ruth?"

  "Dana’s okay, physically. But she had an emotional trauma this morning."

  "What happened?"

  Joe listened as Ruth explained the shopping trip to Bergman’s and the fire alarm sounding when Dana was half-naked. The fire department had responded quickly and she got out of the building unharmed. But the image of her, lying there on the floor, struck him to the core. She had to have felt totally helpless. The urge to protect her rose again inside him like a giant emotional wave.

  "Is she home?"

  "Yes. In bed. She asked me to call and cancel your dinner plans tonight. She doesn’t want to see anybody."

  "I’m sorry about all this, Ruth. But I’m coming over as soon as I get off work. I’ll call her and tell her."

  "She won’t answer her phone. She said specifically for you not to come to the house. Usually I respect her wishes in these circumstances."

  That gave him pause. He knew about the need to be alone when something went bad. Huh. He hadn’t realized they had that in common. "This kind of thing happened before?"

  "On occasion. But she almost always avoids situations where she could be caught like she was."

  Man, he couldn’t do as Dana asked. He just couldn’t. "Ruth, I can’t possibly leave her alone tonight. I might be able to help."

  "I’ve found it best to not try to make things better in these situations. She gets over them in her own way."

  He remembered a quote from one of his dad’s letter. Sometimes, you just have to accept bad things, Joey. You can’t fix everything. I’m afraid you’re going to be overly protective, like I was, and that’s not good.

  Despite his father’s words and regardless of the images Dana’s circumstances conjured for him, he said forcefully, "I’m not abandoning her. Will you be home tonight?"

  "I have a date, too. That’s why we went shopping. But she found this pretty lavender pantsuit she wanted to wear for you." A few sniffles. "I’m going to cancel with Jeremy as soon as I hang up."

  "Don’t. Leave the door open and I’ll let myself in."

  "Joe—really—"

  "Better yet, lock the door and leave a key under the geraniums on the front porch."

  "I don’t know."

  "Trust me on this, Ruth. My instincts so far where Dana’s condition is concerned have been right. I know what I’m doing." At least he hoped he did. One thing for certain, if he let Dana shut him out of this problem, he’d be setting a precedent. They both needed to be more open with each other. Thinking of his doubts, he vowed to do better.

  Shelly was scowling when he disconnected. "Trouble in paradise?"

  He told her what had happened.

  "Oh, that poor woman. I’m so sorry."

  "I guess I should expect things like this." But he hadn’t. At least consciously. Damn the psychology talk—Dana and Ruth were wearing off on him.

  Later that day, Joe left work at five, went home and showered and changed. After making two stops, one at the Chinese restaurant for healthy food, he arrived on Dana’s doorstep at seven, the agreed-upon time for their date. He found the key—bless you, Ruth—let himself into the house and went to the kitchen to set the food to warm in the oven. The house was eerily quiet and still.

  When he shut the stove door, he heard from the bedroom, "Ruth, did you come back for something?"

  Bracing himself, he picked up the second package he’d brought and strode to the doorway of her bedroom. It was light outside, but the room was dim with the blinds drawn. Dana was lying on the bed in summer pajamas. The TV was on low and a news station was broadcasting. She looked away from the screen, and when she saw him, her eyes widened. "What are you doing here? Ruth said she called you to cancel our date."

  "She did. I refuse to be banished like a child."

  "Joe, please. You don’t understand." Her voice was hoarse with emotion. "I can’t see anyone tonight."

  It killed him to witness the resignation on her face. This was so not the Dana he knew, Dana the fighter. "I’m not just anyone."

  "When bad things happen to me, this is how I deal with them."

  "I understand that completely, as I’m the sa
me way. But now, for both of us, isolating ourselves is how we used to deal with bad things. No more. Let me in. We’ll deal with what happened together."

  Instead of arguing, she closed her eyes, shifted to her other side and curled into a fetal position. That small indication of defeat was worse than a full-out battle.

  Crossing to the bed, he sat down on the mattress and tugged her around—she didn’t come willingly—but she did open her eyes and look at him. Up close, the expression in them was so grim, it ripped him apart inside. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms.

  "I’m so sorry this happened to you. I don’t know exactly how you felt today, but I can guess how raw you are. It must be really, really hard when you can’t control your surroundings. Worse, that you can’t escape danger."

  Teary-eyed, she grabbed his hand. "I…I was so scared, Joey. I couldn’t do anything to help myself."

  "That would kill me."

  "I couldn’t right the chair, I was in my underwear. And I was so embarrassed when the firefighters found me."

  "Yes, well." He cleared his throat. "We have to talk about that."

  Puzzlement replaced the defeat in her eyes. "Excuse me?"

  "It’s all around the police department that a hunk of a firefighter carried you out half-naked. I have to tell you, Dana, I won’t put up with this. No man but me is to see that lovely body of yours unclothed."

  She was so startled she couldn’t speak. Then a ghost of a smile curved at her mouth. "He gave me his coat before he took me to safety."

  "Still, I’m sure he got an eyeful. Which I will not tolerate, woman."

  She shook her head. "He was fifty, with grandchildren."

  "Older men are not immune to your charms."

  Sighing, she pulled herself up to a sitting position. "I’m a mess. I showered, but my hair must be sticking out all over."

  "You look beautiful to me."

  She nodded to the kitchen. "I didn’t cook like I was supposed to."

  "I brought Chinese."

  "All right. Let me get cleaned up and dressed, then I’ll come out and eat."

  "Fine." Reaching down he retrieved the package he’d dropped to the floor. "I brought you a present."