by K. Webster
Seeing the door to the stairwell, I grimace. I fucking hate the stairwell. Feeling a little pumped up with my inner cussing, I shakily make my way to the door. I push open the door and am hit with the familiar disgusting odor. More light enters the stairwell through small windows near the ceiling. It only showcases the cracked and mildew-covered walls.
With shocking speed for someone carrying a full laundry basket, I hightail it down the stairs, holding my breath, until I reach the basement door. I fling it open and gasp in the damp air that has a hint of detergent in it. The laundry room in the basement is the least of my worries. It’s the damn stairwell that scares me half to death.
I make my way over to the washer and load my clothes. Once I’ve started it, I sit on the dilapidated sofa that’s down there. On laundry days, I just hang out and read until I’m all done. No sense in making unnecessary trips up and down the stairs.
I’m really getting into the story after a good half hour or more, imagining the book boyfriend to be Patrick Swayze when I hear the basement door open. I look up, but from my angle, I can’t see anyone descending the stairs. The creaking on the steps, though, indicates that someone is coming down them.
A bulky-looking man in his mid to late thirties comes into view. He’s unshaven with unkempt hair. The thick black-rimmed glasses he’s wearing remind me of something like what a serial killer would wear according to the books I’ve read. His face is littered with acne, and when he grins at me, I can see that he has yellow, gnarly teeth. The way he watches me like I’m on the menu, has my heart racing like crazy.
“You live in this building?” he asks, his voice deep and gravelly. The way he looks at me makes me squirm uncomfortably.
“Yeah, and you?” I ask, attempting to make small talk. My warning bells tell me to run up the stairs, but they do that all the time, so it’s hard to know if it is a legitimate fear or not.
“I live on the third floor. You must live on the second?” he questions. He seems to already know the answer but is waiting for confirmation. I don’t want to tell him, but I don’t see any way out of it.
“Um, yeah.”
He grunts but doesn’t say anything more. When the buzzer alerts me that my clothes are ready to be transferred to the dryer, I jump from the couch, thankful for the interruption. As I walk toward the machine, he stands in front of the table beside it. Leaning on it, he watches me in a way that makes me completely nervous. I’m pretty sure he is a weird person, but then again, everyone seems weird to me. In actuality, I’m the weird one.
I open the dryer and toss the wet clothes into them. When a pair of my panties falls to the floor, I bend quickly to retrieve them. His eyes are on my ass the entire time. I feel them sliding over me like oil. Shuddering, I hurry and close the dryer so I can start it.
“Um, do you need to use the machine? You can slide on in,” I sputter nervously, looking back into his steely grey eyes.
“I can slide on in, huh?” he asks suggestively as his eyes land on my breasts.
I quickly cross my arms over my chest to end his peepshow. He frowns at me, looking back up.
“Well, uh, nice to see you, but I need to run upstairs while these are drying. Bye now,” I say and wave in his direction before snatching my book from the sofa and hauling ass toward the stairs. The man’s dark chuckling behind me sends my skin into an uncontrollably itchy frenzy, and I fight to not gouge my skin with my nails.
The door slams loudly at the top of the stairs, and I look up to see Liam standing there, his arms crossed. I think it’s his signature move. The man’s laughing gets closer as I hurry and ascend the stairs. Liam looks beyond me at the creep, and the hateful look he sends that man’s way scares me half to death. I run past him and into the stairwell like my life depends on it.
It isn’t until I’m safely in my apartment and drinking in large gulps of air from the window that I finally start to relax. My mind races as I worry about what that creepy man’s intentions were. Since I am a mental head case, I don’t know what’s perceived and what’s actual. I’ll have to talk this out with Tina.
My skin feels so dirty from that man’s offensive stares, and coupled with the itchy burn I feel, I know I need a shower right away. I’m already naked before I make it to the bathroom and slip into the ice-cold shower. I moan in relief as the water slides over my skin, cooling off each scar. This new life of mine feels too big. I somehow feel like I wasn’t meant for this world at all because I certainly don’t fit in.
After I’ve gotten rid of the itchy feeling, I turn off the water and dry off. Hanging the towel back on the hook, I exit the bathroom. When I see Liam there, his arms folded in his signature stance, I for a split second have the urge to throw myself into his arms, but the moment quickly passes.
“Fuck, Sidney! Do you just walk around everywhere naked? You do laundry with no bra on? That fucker could have come in here because you left your damn door unlocked! What’s wrong with you?” he demands angrily.
Tears spring to my eyes as I recover from his words and the fact that he’s once again seen me naked. Instead of getting embarrassed this time, I stomp past him to my bedroom and into the closet. The first dress I find gets torn from the hanger and hastily pulled over my head. When my head pops back through, Liam is standing there watching me, his shoulder leaned against the doorframe. The way he looks at me affects me in a complete opposite manner than the creep from the laundry room. Liam looks at me with appreciation for my body, desire, and protectiveness.
I straighten up my dress and put my hands on my hips.
“Why do you keep coming into my house? I never invited you to be my protector and I certainly never invited you in my home,” I huff out.
He looks stung by my words. It makes me want to take them back.
“Look, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but you don’t understand how hard it is for me to deal with this. Every day is a struggle for me to feel like a human being. I’m sorry if you can’t understand that,” I sigh sadly.
I’ve probably just told this man, whom I barely know, way too much. For some reason, I want to open up to him. Maybe an open person is the real me, buried deep down inside, because I certainly have done a lot of opening up in the last few weeks.
“Sid, I want us to be friends. You’re my neighbor. Can’t we just get past all of this awkwardness and hang out? Don’t you get lonely? I am so fucking lonely, Sidney. Please,” he begs, and tears threaten his own eyes.
My mouth parts in shock. This gorgeous man is hurting inside and I can’t help but feel a kinship to him.
“Yeah, I actually do get lonely. Tina is my only friend. I have to warn you though. I don’t know the first thing about being a good friend. She forces me to do things like watch movies and drink wine, but that’s the extent of it. You don’t expect me to go do things with you? I’m not comfortable leaving my apartment. I have major issues, Liam.”
He makes a move toward me and I flinch instinctively from him, which makes him stop dead in his tracks.
“Sidney, let’s be friends, and I promise you I will not touch you. I may want to sit near you though or stand close to you. But I won’t touch you. Can you trust me?”
Something about his words tells me that he’s being honest. I can feel the sincerity dripping from them. Giving in to him, I nod and close my eyes.
He steps over to me until we’re mere inches apart. Opening my eyes, I peek up at him. It’s as if he’s studying every single detail of my face so he can memorize it. His gaze is so intense that I feel like I might combust.
My words come out garbled. “Liam, right now, this is making me crazy. My skin is burning and I feel the need to shower again to cool it off. Do you see why this is hard for me?”
His eyes search mine for answers I don’t possess to give to him. Finally, he puckers his lips, dips his head to my neck, and blows cool air out over the flesh. The burn quickly morphs into a chill and I shiver. The way he’s blowing on me makes me want to pull
his head to my neck so he can press his lips to it. But I don’t. I just breathe heavily as he dips farther and blows cool air down between my breasts, successfully ridding me of any itching.
“I feel better now. Thank you,” I whisper just inches from his dark hair.
His unique scent is flooding my senses once again. He pulls away to look at me, and I can’t figure out whether to be relieved or disappointed. My mind is still warring when he speaks.
“So what do friends with issues do? I’m kind of at a loss here,” he teases, one dark eyebrow quirking up. I have to drag my gaze from it to meet his eyes.
“Well, Tina left a stack of movies here. Want to watch something?” I ask. Quite frankly, I have no idea what to do either, but a movie seems like a good start.
“Sure, but I get to pick.” He grins down at me and dammit if I can’t help but stare at his lips. I can tell that he has to force himself away from me, and he practically jogs into the living room.
After regaining my composure, I follow him out there. He’s sitting in the middle of the couch with all of the movies spread out over the coffee table as he tries to decide on one.
“That one. I watched that one all the time as a kid.”
I pick up the one he’s pointing to and frown when I realize that it’s an action movie called Red Dawn. For some reason, I really hoped he would have picked Dirty Dancing. Flipping the movie over, I let out a squeal noticing Patrick Swayze stars in it.
“Yes! Let’s watch this one,” I agree excitedly and put it into the DVD player.
He watches me with a playful smirk on his lips. “Something tells me you’re only watching it for the hot guys,” he laughs.
“Something tells me you aren’t just a pretty face. You’re pretty intuitive,” I tease.
Oh my God, are we flirting? My cheeks redden at the realization. I make my way toward the recliner, but he pats the sofa beside him.
“But you promised,” I nearly whine.
“Dammit, Sidney. I will keep my word. It doesn’t mean we can’t sit beside each other. I’ll keep my hands off of you, I promise.”
He is giving me a look that promises a heated argument if I decline. Sighing, I make my way over to him and plop down onto the sofa next to him.
Turns out that the movie is amazing and I am a die-hard Patrick Swayze fan now. I will be asking Tina to bring me all of his movies in the near future.
“Are you hungry?” I ask once the movie is over.
“Nah. Why don’t you go ahead and get something without me. I need to run downstairs and switch out your laundry that’s probably finished by now. You stay here. I’d rather you not run into that asshole again.”
Before I can argue, he’s out the door. It makes me feel warm inside that he’s so protective over me. We’ve barely met and I already feel that same needy pull that I feel toward Tina. This can’t be good. I seem to latch myself on to people who force themselves into my life.
Heading into the bedroom, I call Tina really quickly before Liam comes back. When she answers, I launch into my crazy, rambling story without so much as a hello. Questionable social skills, I tell you.
“Tina, oh my God, I am freaking out right now. While I was doing laundry this morning, some weirdo from the building practically molested me with his eyes. I was about to have a full-on panic attack when Liam came to my rescue. Then, I was taking a shower to rid myself of the filth I felt from that man staring at me and I nearly run into Liam afterwards IN MY APARTMENT. I go off on him and get dressed, but then we have a moment in the closet. When I started to get all itchy, he blew on me and it went away.
“Oh wow. This is so weird trying to explain it. Anyhow, we just finished watching Red Dawn. I’m obsessed with Patrick Swayze now, so bring more of his movies over. Liam is downstairs doing my laundry as we speak so I don’t have to worry about running into the creep. And now I am just waiting for him to come back because I can’t wait to hang out with him some more. What’s wrong with me?”
The line is silent for a minute when I finish. Suddenly, hysterical laughing fills the other line, and I pinch my eyebrows together, trying to figure out why she thinks it’s funny.
“Sid, you have a crush. This is awesome.”
That’s it? Hell no.
“Tina, I’m being serious here! Am I crazy to just let this guy into my life like this? My brain tells me no but my body is another story. Is this normal?”
“Sid, baby, yes. Everything you’re saying is perfectly normal. You’ve got a crush. It is perfectly normal to obsess over said crush, which is exactly what you’re doing. Enjoy whatever it is that’s blossoming between you two. As far as the movies go, I’m on it. I’ll bring them the next time I see you. Now go get your flirt on,” she teases and hangs up on me.
She always does that when she doesn’t want me to say any more and to stew on what she’s said. Huffing, I hang up the phone and stalk back into the kitchen to find some lunch. By the time I’m finishing my sandwich, I hear Liam coming into the apartment.
I inhale the rest of my sandwich and go to my room to find him sitting on the bed. The clothes are all folded neatly in the basket, which makes me smile. But he looks downright depressed. His shoulders are hunched forward and his head is bowed.
“Liam? Are you okay?” I ask as I approach him.
He barely lifts his head and glances over at me. The look in his eyes nearly cripples me. He’s so sad. Empty. Earlier, he warned me that he was lonely, but now I can see it. I start to reach for him but stop myself. It makes me sick that I can’t even touch his face to comfort him.
“I better go,” he says sadly and stands to leave.
Tears threaten my eyes because I don’t understand what’s overcome him. Before I realize what I’m doing, I block his path. He steps so close to me that we’re practically touching. His gaze is weary, and it’s as if I can see right into his soul—his very sad soul.
“Liam, please don’t go,” I whisper pleadingly. Right now, I need him just as much as he needs me. Together, we can work through our pain. I can feel it.
Indecision wars across his face as he internally decides whether or not he should leave.
“Please,” I repeat, hoping he’ll finally give in.
The part of him that I know seems to surface. His eyes lose the anguish in them and are replaced with a lighter look. My heart soars at the sudden change in him.
“Okay, Sid. You win this time,” he agrees and reaches his hand up.
Eyes fluttering closed, I breathe raggedly as I prepare for his touch. He doesn’t touch me though. I feel his cool breath against my lips, but he doesn’t press them to mine. Instead, he tugs on my hair.
Blinking my eyes open, I see him grinning down at me. He pulls away, letting go of my hair.
“Do you feel itchy?” he asks, chuckling.
“Huh? Oh. No, actually I don’t,” I tell him, surprised. He touched my hair and I didn’t have a meltdown. In fact, I kind of want him to kiss me.
He motions for me to follow him. “Let’s go watch a movie.”
This time, I pick the movie. And of course, I choose Dirty Dancing. This go around, I find myself anticipating the parts in the movie I enjoyed from last night. I’m chewing on my nails toward the end. Liam’s laughing from beside me pulls me from obsessing over Patrick.
“What?” I demand.
He just shakes his head, so I finish watching the movie while I ignore him. When it’s over, I turn to him.
“That movie is so good. I love Patrick Swayze. I’m pretty sure that has to be the best movie in the world,” I gush, completely believing my words. Part of the reason I love it so much is because their dancing is so sexual and they touch so frequently. I’m jealous that I can’t bring myself to allow that sort of contact from anyone.
“If you say so, Sid.” His eyes are twinkling as me makes fun of me. I want to be mad at him, but he’s too cute for me not to smile back at him.
“You’re so mean. Liam?” I ask, turning se
rious.
He glances down at my lips, and a shiver runs down my spine like it always does when he looks at me with that hungry stare.
“Yes, Sidney?”
“Tell me about yourself. I barely know you. What do you do for a living? Do you have family?”
His eyes immediately darken at my questions, and I’m alarmed at how quickly he changes his moods. Standing up quickly, he paces the room, running his hands through his hair like he’s figuring out how to tell me something.
“I work from home.” Okay, well that wasn’t so bad.
“And your family?” I probe even though I know that’s the part he is having trouble with.
“I have a brother in the army. My parents are deceased. A car crash took them from us a year ago.”
I pull my knees to my chest and hug them. My mind races with questions, but I don’t want to hurt him.
“I’m sorry, Liam.”
He just nods curtly but continues to pace the room. I want desperately to bring the playful, happy Liam back. He’s so hot and cold, which royally confuses me.
“Liam, tell me about yourself. I just want to get to know you. You don’t have to tell me the sad stuff. Tell me the happy stuff.”
Turning to look at me, he crosses his arms over his chest and appears to be thinking of what he wants to share.
“There’s nothing to share—especially nothing happy. I’m just Liam.”
His words sting because I want nothing more than to know more about him. I don’t push it though. Maybe eventually he’ll want to share those things with me.
“Okay, well I need to go check on the other load in the dryer, so maybe we can hang out later,” I tell him sadly because I feel like he’s over hanging out with me.
“Yeah, sure,” he says absently and stalks out of my apartment. I’m so confused by him right now.
