Marilyn’s heart beat so fast that it felt like it was fluttering beneath her ribs.
“And now?” she murmured. Ryzard’s ice blue eyes remained on hers, boring right into her soul.
“I’ve changed. I can feel it in my bones. All those months I’ve spent with the boys, caring for them, getting to know them. Loving them, loving you. It’s slowly been turning me into a different person. I’m not angry any more. You trusting me made all the difference. You’ve helped me to realize that I’m not rotten because of my genes. That I can be a good person. I know that I can be a good father to the boys, and now I know that I can be your mate as well. All I want to do is make you, Angus and Blake as happy as you can possibly be, every day of your lives.”
Marilyn clapped a hand over her mouth to control the emotions that were welling up and threatening to overflow. Ryzard’s eyes crinkled at the corners.
“I’m sorry, was that too much? I didn’t plan to say any of this. I just started up talking and it all spilled out.” She let out a burst of laughter.
“No! Of course not. I’m glad you’re telling me how you feel. It’s just a shock that’s all. I mean, I didn’t think you even liked me like that.”
“Are you kidding?” he said, inching closer to her. “How could I not want to be with you? You’re just perfect in every way. So smart, so beautiful, so kind-hearted. And my bear has been telling me non-stop that you’re my mate.”
“It has?” she breathed.
“Uh huh. All it wants to do, every time it sees you is mate you. It’s all I can do to keep it under control.” She gave a little shiver. He was so close that she could smell his scent – like pine forests and leather and smoke and gasoline, all rolled into one. Flashbacks from their one-night stand burst into her mind like stars.
“Become my mate, Marilyn. I’ll love you and protect you and desire you every single day of your life. And we’ll be a real family. All four of us. All living together under the same roof, in the cabin that I built. Tamika says we’re lucky being such a strong match. I didn’t tell you the whole truth about what Tamika told me all those months ago. She told me to build the house nice and big for my mate, and that my mate was you.” Marilyn made a little sound of surprise. And then she looked into his eyes and sensed his yearning, how much effort it was costing him not to reach for her and take her into his arms. She looked at his big, long-fingered hands, resting tensely on his knees. Hands that had once given her incredible pleasure.
“Say you’ll be mine, Marilyn?” His voice was gruff, almost broken with passion, and it melted her heart. She took a deep breath.
“I can’t say I’ll be your mate right away, Ryzard. This is all happening so fast. But I’ll give you another chance. We can date, and take our time getting to know each other as more than the parents of our cubs.”
His eyes filled with a bright, glittering light, and for a moment, she was alarmed, worried that she’d offended or angered him. But then his lips parted in a grin.
“I can date you? For real?”
“That’s what I said,” she said, smiling back at him.
“I’ve never dated before.”
“I’m not sure that’s something to own up to.” He hung his head, a lock of his brown hair falling into his eyes.
“Geez. I always say the wrong thing.” He suddenly looked so vulnerable that her heart flipped. She reached out and stroked his jaw, as he’d stroked hers so many months earlier. The feel of his stubble against her fingertips shot little sparks of desire through her body.
“Joking,” she murmured. “But now I’m serious.” He lifted his head and met her gaze. And then he kissed her. His full, firm lips met hers with a searing hunger, while his strong arms encircled her, holding her lightly, reverently, but she sensed his possessiveness, his animal, prowling beneath his skin, and it excited her.
“It’s okay,” she murmured, drawing back from the kiss for a moment. “I know you won’t hurt me.”
“Marilyn, I’d never hurt you,” he breathed, before taking her into his arms, just as she’d wanted him to, holding her as if she was his.
14
Ryzard barely slept all night in his new, king-size bed. He tossed and turned and rumbled and snorted, thinking about Marilyn and how near she was, equally alone in her big old bed. He’d been in her bedroom once before, when he was playing hide and seek with the boys and Angus had hidden under her bed. The thought of her snuggled up in there made his heart feel like a box of good things that someone had just taken the lid off of. He longed to be curled up with her, wrapped around her small, soft body, nuzzling his face into the back of her neck while she slept. Take her; claim her, his bear insisted, nudging at his skin. Kissing her earlier had whipped it up into a frenzy, and it had been almost uncontrollable ever since. She’s yours, it kept telling him. “Not yet,” he muttered into the darkness. But soon. If I manage not to stuff things up again. The memory of the softness of her lips, the way she’d looked uncharacteristically vulnerable when he took her into his arms played in his mind non-stop. Although they’d kissed once before, this felt like the first time. Because he wasn’t drunk and careless. He was sober, alert, and ready to make her his mate. But they had to date first. He let off a rumble of frustration. He understood why he had to take it slow; he did. He knew he should be grateful that she was even giving him a chance. But all he wanted was to mark her, to make her his, forever.
They’d kissed in the restaurant for ten perfect minutes, before driving home separately, but the look she’d given him as they’d parted, her golden-brown eyes glittering with emotion had lit such a fire inside him that his veins seemed to be running with warmth. Every time he recalled the conversation they’d had, a smile broke across his face.
“Can we go on one of those dates soon?” he’d asked, and she’d laughed so prettily, throwing her head back and revealing two rows of perfect white teeth.
“Of course we can! But can you promise me one thing? Can we not go to a flashy restaurant?” He rubbed at his forehead.
“Sure. But what do you want to do instead?”
“Something simple. Something that you like doing.”
“Well I like eating a lot,” he replied, wondering as soon as the words were out of his mouth if that was a bad thing to say.
“Perfect. So you can feed me, yes?”
“Uh, I guess so. I can put meat on a barbecue anyway.”
“Barbecue just happens to be my favorite.” She tilted her head to the side as she was speaking, which made her look adorably pert and cheeky. Then she took a step toward him, stretched up on her tiptoes and drew his head down for a kiss that left him breathless. He held her waist lightly, but he wanted to pick her up and spin her around.
“See you tomorrow, Ryzard. I’m looking forward to it.” She waved, and he stood in the parking lot, watching as she started up her SUV and drove away. Only then did he release a wild roar of triumph into the empty lot and the forest beyond.
The following morning, something like dread sat in the pit of Ryzard’s stomach. I’m going to screw this up, I know it, he told his bear. She’s not going to let me get close enough to mate her, because I’m going to do something bad first, and she’s gunna end up hating me. Again. The more he thought about dating, the worse the feeling got, and by lunchtime, his nerves were jangling as well. His bear prowled and fretted. It didn’t understand any more about dating than he did. “Why can’t we get past this already? I know she’s my mate. I’ve promised to treat her right. What more is there to know?” he muttered to himself.
“What’s eating you?” Jacko, his new boss, asked as they ate their lunch together. Ryzard groaned and surprised himself by giving him an abbreviated version of his situation with Marilyn.
“You said she’d been burned before, right?” Jacko said, after staring into space and chewing on the same chunk of sandwich for a long time.
“Yeah. Her husband and her best friend were going at it for years. Nasty shit.” Ryzard ground
his teeth as his anger rose up. If he lived for a million years, he’d never be able to understand how anyone could cheat on a woman like Marilyn.
“Well that’s it. She needs to know she can trust you.”
“Of course she can. I told her that already.” Jacko clapped him on the shoulder.
“She’s a woman. She needs to feel it, deep in her bones. Give her a little romance. That’s what dates are for. To have fun together, feel each other out. Trust me on this.”
On the way home from work, Ryzard went to the flower shop and looked at the flowers. There were so many in the shop that it was overwhelming. And it seemed awful sad to buy her some flowers that had been cut off at the stems. They’d only last a few days, and then she’d have dead flowers on her hands. So he decided to buy her flowers in pots instead. But they weren’t mixed up like the cut flowers. There was just one flower of each kind in each pot. Getting increasingly frustrated, he wound up buying ten separate pots of flowers, which all but filled the backseats of his truck. Then he stopped at a gourmet chocolate store and the assistant helped him pick out a huge box of chocolates. Okay, he was done.
When he arrived home, he went out into the forest to hunt for meat, then he showered, shaved, and trimmed his sideburns. When he was done, he surveyed his reflection in the mirror. He’d always known that his looks were appealing to humans, as he’d had no shortage of women to hook up with. But he’d never looked at himself objectively before. He hadn’t even owned a mirror until Timo persuaded him to get one for his new place. He was suddenly very worried that he wasn’t good looking enough for Marilyn. He looked nothing like as sleek as that asshole panther shifter. A pair of narrow eyes looked back at him in the mirror. They were pale blue in color, with light threads of gold fanning out from the irises, and they had a kind of intense look to them. A woman once said he had intense eyes. Was that Marilyn? He thought hard. It was! He remembered being in that dingy bar, and her pretty mouth saying those words, with such hunger in her eyes. He hoped very much that her opinion hadn’t changed over time. He had straight, thick black eyebrows that moved close together when he frowned, a nose and a pair of lips. Women always said that his lips were kissable. He didn’t know what that meant exactly, but it had to be a good thing. And the only woman he wanted to kiss, now and forever, was Marilyn. He parted his lips in a smile and checked his teeth. He’d just cleaned them, scrubbing for ten minutes, and they looked fine, bright white in contrast to his deeply tanned skin. He ran his hands through his brown hair. It had a tendency to stick out in tufts, but there wasn’t too much he could do about that. He was wearing a freshly laundered blue chambray shirt and a newish pair of blue jeans. He wished he had different shoes from his work boots, but he hadn’t thought about it until now, and there was no time to run back to Hope Valley and look for a shoe store.
The conversation with Jacko had helped, but he was still as tense as a fox in a snare, and his bear was stirring him up, making him antsy and impatient to mate.
“Not this time, Ryzard Adler,” he told his reflection. “This time you’re going to do everything by the book.”
Marilyn was a few minutes late, which was fine by him, as it gave him a little more time to prepare the food. And by the time she pulled up in her Subaru, the barbecue was getting good and hot and the meat was ready to be laid out on the grill. He’d spread out all the flower pots on the porch, and he was trying to make the outside table look nice and pretty, with a candle in the middle and some new plates that the guys had helped him to buy.
“Smells good, Adler,” she called as she stepped out of the car. She was wearing a pair of blue jeans that clung tight to the lush curves of her hips and ass, and a red check shirt, tied in a knot at the bottom. Her hair was loose and wild, and it made him long to twist it around his fingers. She looked good enough to eat. He bounded over to her, arms outstretched, then stopped dead. Confusion passed across her lovely eyes.
“Is something wrong?” she said.
“No. Nothing at all. I was just wondering if it would be okay to kiss you?” Her lips parted in a dazzling smile.
“It would be more than okay.” She laid her hands flat on his chest and tilted her chin upward. His heart thudded. She looked so expectant and vulnerable like that. As his lips melded with hers, his bear let off a rumbling purr, showing it was pleased with the progress he was making. He ran his fingertips along the bare skin of her arms, and over the inch of bare flesh that had appeared between the bottom of her shirt and the waistband of her jeans. Her skin was like velvet, and he found himself wanting to explore every inch of it. He wanted to mate her too, of course, but he also wanted to caress her and love her body as he’d never done with any woman before. As his hand slid a couple of inches higher, she pulled away laughing.
“Stop! Unless you want all that good meat to get burnt to a crisp on the barbecue,” she said. He shrugged. He’d happily let the dinner get ruined, let the whole damn house go up in smoke if it meant he got to be with her.
“Your eyes look extra pretty today,” he said, gazing into their syrupy warmth.
“Thanks,” she said in a playful tone. And then he remembered that he was supposed to be the perfect date.
“Wait – I’ve got something for you.” He led her over to the porch and showed her the flowers, explaining why they didn’t come in a bunch. She pressed her hand against her heart very endearingly.
“God, that’s so romantic.”
“It is?” He rubbed the back of his head.
“Of course it is. And I feel the same – cut flowers make me sad.” Relief washed through him. He’d been worried that she’d think it was dumb. He went inside and picked up a couple of beers, and when he returned, she was sitting on the edge of the porch, swinging her legs as she often did. She was so tough, yet so vulnerable, he thought. And suddenly he felt all tight inside, but it was a good feeling.
“I’m sorry I was a little late. I couldn’t get the boys to go to bed. It’s weird, but they seemed to know I was coming to see you. They couldn’t stop talking about their daddy,” she said, stretching her hand out to accept the beer. Ryzard got that tight feeling again and he gulped hard.
“That’s their shifter sixth sense,” he said, as lightly as he could.
“You guys operate a lot on your instincts, don’t you?”
“We’re animals at heart.” At the same time, his bear let off a rumbling purr and pushed toward the surface. Marilyn’s eyes widened and he knew she’d seen it. She was curious and a little aroused, he thought. But he sensed a flicker of discomfort too.
“You know I’d never hurt you?”
“I do.” She nodded.
“I only want to protect you, Marilyn, and so does my bear. When I saw that panther harassing you last, night, it almost bust right out of me.” She laughed. He loved the way that a laugh would sometimes erupt out of her from nowhere, as a random thought entertained her.
“What is it?”
“The expression on his face was kind of funny. How he went from cocky to terrified in about three seconds.”
“A panther is no match for a bear.”
“You know, I totally had it under control back there.” He flashed her a grin and bumped his shoulder against hers.
“Like hell you did.”
“I was about to get him in a headlock.”
“Uh huh. You know he’s a big cat, right? They have pretty thick necks.”
“Nothing I couldn’t handle.” Distractedly, he noticed that she hadn’t pulled away from him, and that they were now sitting shoulder to shoulder.
“You’re a tough woman, Marilyn.”
“You like that?” She looked at him sideways, her pretty eyes flashing.
“I love it. I think you’re as strong as any shifter.”
“Well, since a certain shifter impregnated me and I gave birth to a couple of shifter cubs, I had to step up to the plate pretty quick.” She turned her head away fast. She was thinking about their mating. And so was
his bear. It was more than he could cope with. His need to mate her was driving him wild. You’ve got to take this slow, Adler, he reminded himself. He stood up abruptly.
“I’ll go check on the barbecue.”
15
As Marilyn watched Ryzard disappear around the side of the house, she gave in to a long shudder that made her nipples even harder than they were already. It was taking all of her self control not to jump on him and demand that he mate her. He looked sexier than ever tonight. He’d made an effort with his appearance, had his hair cut, and he was wearing a shirt that she’d never seen before, which brought out the blue of his eyes. He was a big, sexy bear god. I’ve got to take it slow, she reminded herself. Make sure he’s right for me. But she knew, deep down, that if he tried to seduce her right now, she wouldn’t be able to resist. Every part of her was crying out for his touch. Her lips were still tingling from the force of his kiss, and so was that tender place between her thighs, which pressing her legs together was doing nothing to stop.
“I can come help? Or at least chat to you while you’re cooking?” she called, when he hadn’t returned after a couple of minutes.
“Uh – yeah,” he grunted. She chuckled and got to her feet.
He was doing a good job. The meat was cooking well, and he was arranging it on the grill and turning it with meticulous attention.
“I guess bears don’t multitask either,” she said.
“Wha –?” he turned his head and there was such a stressed expression in his eyes that she burst out laughing.
“God, I’m sorry.” She clapped her hand over her mouth. “I was just admiring your concentration.” He grinned, the tension in his face easing away.
“Yeah, one thing at a time. The guys are always teasing me for it, actually.”
“Well, it’s going great so far.” She stepped closer and laid a hand on his arm, wanting to make up for laughing. The feel of his biceps beneath the soft denim was like an electric shock, and she snatched her hand back. “Shall I get some plates and silverware?”
Shiftr: Swipe Left for Love (Ryzard) BBW Bear Shifter Romance (Hope Valley BBW Dating App Romance Book 9) Page 9
