by LJ Swallow
The moment Ewan told me Vee had disappeared, my world flipped. What if I never saw her again? All this time and I'd never shown her how she'd changed me; how she strengthened me by weakening my walls. I never told her the truth.
Holding her in my arms brought relief despite her initial stiffness, but the tighter I held Vee, the more the girl inside yielded. I whispered to Vee that she shouldn't give in to the intense need to attack. I told her to stay calm and weigh things up.
Vee smiled and whispered back that I was a hypocrite, and my heart stopped hurting.
At that moment, I knew she was still our Vee.
Vee forges ahead and pushes through the door at the coach house, which slams hard against the wall. Immediately she's with Ewan, kneeling down and touching him. She takes his hand, and my last doubts Vee might have lost who she is leave.
Ewan and Vee embrace as tightly as we did before. She pushes his hair from his face, kisses him, holds his cheeks, and they talk in low, urgent tones. I hang back with Joss, and Heath walks to us.
"How is she?" asks Heath.
"Herself, but not," replies Joss. "She seems stronger, more focused, but there's something more. Did you feel it, Xander?"
"There's a different energy to her," I reply in a low voice so she can't hear. "And I honestly think if she leaves us, she'll storm through the house and kill every demon she can find. Right now, that isn't helpful."
"Did you tell her about Seth?" asks Heath. "I filled Ewan in."
"No. We haven't had a chance." I tip my head to where she stands with Ewan. "I'm worried she might lose her shit and disappear to look for him."
"I'd like someone to tell me about Seth. And Ripley," Joss puts in. "What do you mean he's Chaos?"
I give Joss a staccato version of events, one eye still on Vee, and through his shock, he tells me what happened to Ewan. None of us has the full facts on any of this, and we need to sit and straighten all this out before we can decide on our next move.
"Vee doesn't know who he is, not even after she changed or whatever happened, so how can she find him?"
"Maybe he's not the person she saw in her vision," replies Joss.
Heath straightens. "What vision?"
"We're not sure. Hopefully, she'll explain more."
"Then how the hell do we find Seth?" asks Joss.
"I think we’ll need to wait until he's ready for us to find him." Heath rubs his cheek. "Or until he finds us first. I honestly think Seth wants to have fun with us before he unleashes whatever hell he's planning."
"If Ripley is telling the truth."
I did doubt Ripley—until I came back here and saw the aftermath. Another big doubt ebbs too—Vee must be here to help us, otherwise she would fight with and undermine us the way Seth did. Or she would've left with him.
Vee stands and straightens her clothes before approaching. Her pink cheeks and hard expression are matched by a harsh voice. "Ewan told me what happened. About Seth. Chaos. I feel so fucking stupid, because this is my fault." I blink at her vehemence. "I brought Seth to us. I persuaded you to keep him there."
Joss holds her face in both hands and his eyes search hers. "Vee, you’ve always known when people lie. Of course you'd trust someone you couldn't detect told lies to you."
"But how?" she says. "Why didn’t I know he lied?"
"He's a dangerous god, Vee. We don't know what he's capable of."
She looks past Joss to me. "I need to meet this Ripley. And I have a few choice words for Logan."
I wipe a hand down my face. The biggest vibe I'm getting from Vee is that she's likely to do what drives her and not listen to anybody—including me.
"I think we need to sit down calmly and talk."
Ewan stands, more colour in his face, unable to keep his eyes off Vee. Is he wary of her? "I'm okay. I agree with Vee. I want to meet Ripley, but I don't trust him either."
"We’ll speak to them tomorrow. I don't think there's much we can do right now. We agreed to speak to Ripley and his gang in the morning, and there's no sign of Seth. I say we need to sleep and hope he doesn't come back to try to take on five of us."
Vee shakes her head. "I'm not tired. I want to look for Seth."
"How?" I ask as gently as I can.
"He's looking for me. Ewan said I have something he needs. I doubt I'll manage to go far alone before he finds me."
Ewan takes Vee's hand. "No. We work together. Don't put yourself in danger."
"He's right. Everybody needs to stick together from now on. Look what happened to Ewan." Vee chews her bottom lip but doesn't respond to me. "We rest and can take turns on watch in case he does come back."
Heath rubs her arm. "We're stronger together. That's what he always tried to stop."
"Unity." Ewan squeezes her hand.
I indicate to Heath we should leave as Vee turns her attention to Ewan again. I hope he can persuade her to stay. They speak in low tones and walk into the bedroom they share.
"I think somebody needs to stay awake and watch Vee," I say to Joss as Ewan closes the bedroom door. "We've made too many mistakes recently."
Heath chuckles. "I don't think she'll be happy with that."
"Do you want her to disappear to god knows where? Or attack the people we need to work with?" I ask.
"She won't."
"You're very confident. Touch her. Get close. You'll feel she's different. She never listened to me before this, let alone now." I gesture at the door.
"Fine. But I doubt she'll sleep anyway if she's wired."
"Ewan will keep an eye on her." Heath crosses to open his bedroom door. "I imagine they have a lot to talk about."
VEE
I sit in the chair by the window in the room I share with Ewan, gazing out at the distant highlands. I need to be here, with the guys, but I also feel trapped.
They don't understand.
The guys haven’t seen what I did.
But I can't tell them everything I saw. Not yet.
Understandably, they're cautious—even Xander. And what the hell is he doing, considering siding with their enemies? Trusting those who spent the last few years trying to kill them?
The way I trusted Seth.
I'm so fucking angry he tricked me. Ewan told me how he transformed, and as he described the scene everything made sense. The figure made up of a void in my vision was Seth.
But what I saw won't happen. I will stop the guys dying.
I will stop the end of the world.
The thoughts weave in and out, obsessive, spurring me towards action I don’t know how to take yet. As the minutes pass, my human body tires and aches. Is the pain because I'm struggling to contain whatever hit me after sex with Ewan? Or is something slowly killing human me the way I've seen in movies when people become vampires?
One thing's for sure, my senses are sharper. I can hear what Xander is saying to Heath. He’s concerned that I'll run. But I won't. Part of this has tightened the thread holding us, as individuals and as a whole. The Four are part of who I am, and I need them more than ever.
An exhausted-looking Ewan interrupts my thoughts as his large frame moves in front of the window. I look up, unblinking, and pick up on his mixture of concern and desire.
"We need to talk about what happened," Ewan says cautiously.
"The sex or my changing?"
"Both."
My breath catches, as looking into his darkened eyes triggers recent memories and a deep, low heat inside rises. My need for the guys hasn't left and intensifies as Ewan watches me.
"I think I hurt you," he says.
"No."
"You were terrified."
"But I'm okay now. You weren’t responsible—I don’t think we could’ve stopped it. I feel stronger. "
"That worries me too."
I stand and reach out to trace his lips with my fingertips, the mouth that covered mine, that explored my body. "You're frightened I'll leave, aren't you?"
He holds my fingers and pulls them away. "Y
ou already did. You walked away from me afterwards. Are you hiding why?"
"Do you think I'm lying that I'll stay? I'm still Truth, and I still can't lie." I give a wry smile, but he doesn't return it. "Ewan. I belong with you all. How many times do I need to say this? Whatever has changed inside me connects us more."
"Then why did you walk away?"
"In that moment, I wasn’t me, Ewan. I didn’t know what the hell was happening to me." I attempt to explain exactly what happened but play down the fear and pain when Ewan’s worry grows. "I’m okay now, though."
He shakes his head. "You say that like it was nothing. This is big. Xander is worried. We all are."
"It's only been a couple of hours." I tiptoe to place my lips on his. The need to stay with them all, to draw on the strength they give me, has intensified, not dropped.
But will they listen to me when I tell them what I need to do? Support me when I clash with Xander about our next move? Nobody knows what this is. I don't know yet, but I feel the pull to be something. Will this drag me away from the guys?
"Okay." Ewan wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly against his hard chest. I breathe in the scent lingering after our sex: perspiration and his cologne that intoxicated me. "I love you, Vee. I don't want to lose you."
I want to tell Ewan that he won't lose me, but how can I guarantee anything when I don't understand what's happening to me? Ewan's heart beats faster when I don't respond, so I tell him with a gentle kiss that I'm here, his—theirs. That whatever happens, they always will be.
"I love you, Ewan. I'm sorry I walked away when I said I wouldn't. I didn't go far."
"You're back now, and you're with me. That's what matters." He holds my cheeks in his broad palms and kisses me softly and gently, pulling my heart further into his. As I wrap my arms around Ewan’s waist, he winces.
"Are you okay?" I ask and touch his side gently.
"Tired. Big day." He kisses my forehead. "Maybe we should sleep."
"I can't. I'm too wired."
"Vee. It's 4 a.m. Today has been exhausting. If anything, gather your energy for our meeting with Ripley tomorrow."
Adrenaline surges instantly the moment the thought of demons enters my head. Will I be able to control my contained fury, and the overwhelming desire to kill them?
I know Ewan won't let me go, and I want his comfort, so I head to bed with him. I smile as he almost instantly falls asleep. He's shirtless, so I play my fingers from his smooth chest to his side and run the tips around the outline of his tattoos. I want to remind myself of him—and us. Despite the poor light, I can see the dark bruise Seth caused, spreading across his stomach.
Ewan winces and murmurs in his sleep when I lightly touch the dark skin. He healed quickly after the fight with the diseased creatures, surely a bruise should be gone by now? I place my palm against him, wishing he hadn't been hurt, blaming myself, as I watch his shallow breathing. If I'd stayed instead of running blindly through the door, would Seth still have revealed himself? Would I have stopped him hurting Ewan?
I lean forward to kiss Ewan's forehead and an electric energy interrupts, running from my heart to my wrist, downwards into the fingers touching his skin. In the dim, a slight glow around the tips shines back at me. As he mumbles again, I pull my hand away, terrified I could be hurting him.
Instead, Ewan's skin is now clear.
A new hope surges. If I can heal Ewan, does this mean I'm now capable of resurrecting the guys? Heart buoyed further, I settle my head against his chest and attempt to sleep.
As I drift into the welcome blackness of sleep, a thought follows me:
Am I really still Vee?
3
XANDER
I'm confused how Ripley finds time to impersonate Alasdair and run his conference while dealing with the bigger picture.
How long has he been 'Alasdair'?
Whatever, I'm bloody glad I don't have to sit through presentations on the Foundation's history and plans. Although, the new agenda in my life isn't much fun either: discuss how to work effectively with the demon who's usually hell-bent on killing us, and vice versa.
So we gather, wary, in the same meeting room as last night. I refuse to sit as I wait for Joss to arrive with Vee. She says she's okay, but there's something different in her eyes; a sharp response to any noise or suspicion about demons. Her repeated threat she’ll kill them.
Joss is currently talking her down from storming in here and taking out Ripley. We’ve told her to listen first, and she wavers between accepting the situation and disagreeing, in the way I do.
Joss needs to stay by her side.
Joss and Ewan are more suspicious than I am, but then they never sat and heard the story. I also haven't mentioned what Breanna said about Joss; as if she’s aware of something we’re not. Her words tugged at my own fears—I don't want my visions any clearer.
Breanna sits here now, quietly, watching. I can’t decide how close she’s linked to Ripley. I sense she’s her own person, because most demons I come across fawn over Ripley, or are scared for their lives if they say the wrong thing. I’ve tried hard to remember if I’ve seen Breanna before the way Joss says he has, but I can’t find her in my memories.
Ripley sits beside her in the same place at the table, but is dressed down today—jeans and shirt. He wears a warm jacket. Planning a quick getaway? I refuse to hand over our knives as we walk in, and when he accepts this without question, I know the situation is really screwed.
Ewan remains by the door, arms crossed and face dark. He's okay this morning, his injury gone, so at least we know Seth's damage is as temporary as any other supe has managed. Or we hope so; we can’t count on anything. Between us, we've agreed that as soon as the meeting is finished we're leaving for home and deciding where to go.
I'm convinced Seth's next move will be to attack a portal, if opening them is his ultimate plan. But which one?
Logan is here too, at a sensible distance from us. The tall fae regards us all with his usual haughty air, and I fix my gaze on him to express my distrust.
"Where are the other two?" asks Ripley, breaking our silent standoff. "You realise this must be an alliance with the five of you, or I won’t be able to trust you."
Trust. Ha ha. "Joss and Vee will be here soon," I say.
"I’m very interested to meet her." Ripley smiles. "I didn’t get close enough before to shake her hand. To sense what she is."
"Believe me, mate, touching her might not be a good idea." Ewan can’t hide his amused smile at Ripley’s disconcerted look.
"So she just belongs to you? I get that."
"Vee is unique," puts in Heath. "And you know that."
"Okay, can we talk about what we know, while we wait for your friends," puts in Breanna. "I’ve seen some of Seth’s handiwork. The rune on Taron. That was Seth," she says. Not a question—a sure statement.
"Yeah, I'd love to know who Seth was working with on that day, luring the guy there to put on a show for us."
"I heard about Taron's death," says Ripley. "Whoever helped Seth was human. Easily fooled."
Ewan laughs. "A human beat Seth up? The guy hits like a fucking truck."
"I have no explanation, but thought it was important you didn't blame me." Ripley places fingers on his chest.
I don't know whether to believe him, but it's irrelevant whether I do or not. Taron's death has disappeared off the scale of what's important. Poor guy.
"Taron told us Seth was Chaos," Heath says in a low voice. "He pointed at him and bloody said the words! How dumb are we?"
"Well," pipes up Ripley. "You are quite dumb sometimes. You've missed dozens of opportunities to find me, and then the time you did...well, big fat fail."
I straighten. "Don't push your luck, demon."
"Aww, did I hit a sore spot? I have noticed that as War, you're less of a strategist than the last one, and more on the brawn above brains side."
"The last what?" he shoots back. Someone else taunting u
s that we weren't the first? Of course we bloody know that, but never realised Ripley did too.
"Ignore him," Heath whispers. "He's trying to get a rise out of you."
I pull out a chair and sit opposite Ripley, and stare straight in his face.
"Yeah. I can hit first and ask questions later."
To show what I mean, I take my dagger out and place it on the table.
"Can we drop the testosterone battle and talk about what we're here for?" Breanna's voice is quieter than before, less sure, and that worries me.
"Fine. Let’s talk about the facts we have." Ripley tips his chin at Ewan. "Tell me. You've been at the pointy end of an encounter with Chaos?"
"Yeah."
"And you let him get away."
Ewan mutters something and steps forward, but Heath holds out a hand to stop him and says, "I don't think anybody could stop Seth getting away."
"Where do you think he went? Do you think he's still in Seth's form—the human one, I mean," I ask Ripley.
Ripley looks to Logan. "We spoke about this before. I don't think any of us will find Seth until he decides to show himself. We need to count on Seth having fun with the situation before he finalises his plans."
"We'll find him," says Ewan gruffly. I look around, surprised by his confidence, because mine's gone to hell. "He said he wanted to stop Vee and kill us. I hate to agree with a demon, but yes, before he finishes what he came for, Chaos wants fun."
"Why exactly does he want to do this?" asks Heath. "Why destroy the world by unleashing forces that will devastate the planet and everything living here? That won't leave much for him to rule over."
"He doesn't want to rule. He just wants everything gone." I blink at Ripley’s words. "From what Breanna has deduced so far, he's done this before, to other worlds. There are black holes in space—voids—where once there were planets. This goes beyond other realms. Perhaps he wants to wipe the slate clean and start again."
"How the hell could you know that?" snaps Ewan.
"And how do you know his plan is to open the portals?" adds Heath. "Or is that a guess or convenient thing to tell us so we allow you near the area?"
