by LJ Swallow
Ewan shrugs. "But I'm fucking terrified. Okay, you never disappeared afterwards the way I thought you might, but I almost don't want to know what's in that book."
I take a deep breath. "Me either. But we need to."
"Yeah." He runs his fingers across my cheeks and lips, his mouth turned down. "I don't care what happens to me, but you...it would kill me if something happened to you."
'Something happened'? The words aren’t spoken but I know what he's saying. If I die.
"Remember the time we sat together before, alone in the house? You said we can only live in the present. We should do that."
Ewan rubs his lips together, and his shining eyes show he’s having the memory of our time on the sofa when we were interrupted. "What we did together that night, or what I said?"
"Both." I move my face closer and brush my lips against his cheek. This time he doesn’t move away. Our faces touch and his stubble prickles me, sending a wave of memories through. He's right about the intensity. If I'm alone with any of the guys, the heart racing starts. If I’m physically close, the need to connect swamps my thoughts.
And I know Ewan’s the same right now. His breathing picks up and he digs his fingers into the back of my hair. "I can't stay away however hard I try."
"You always told me that."
We stay in the moment, cheeks against each other, and I know if I slide my mouth to meet his, we'll take the extra time to leave that Joss predicted.
"We don't have to stay away from each other. I want us to be together, Ewan. I need to show you how much you mean to me, and that this time things will end differently."
We press closer together and his heart thumps against my chest. The grip on my hair tightens and I wait for him to make the move, because I refuse to. I need to know this is what he wants.
But disappointment replaces the lust running through my body as he releases my hair and sinks back.
"We should join the others." He runs a trembling hand through his hair as he looks ahead.
Rejecting me.
I swallow and stare at the side of his face. "You're hurting me, Ewan."
Dark eyes meet mine. "I hurt you last time. Can you understand how that makes me feel? Please? What if this time something worse happens?"
My frustration bubbles over and I stand, stomach in knots. "For fuck's sake, Ewan. This is stupid. If you don’t want to be around me, fine. I’ll call Joss and he can pick me up."
Heart hurting, I move away to find my phone, fighting the tears pricking my eyes after his rejection.
"Vee." Ewan's low voice comes from behind, and he wraps his arms around my waist, mouth touching the back of my neck.
EWAN
The moment I saw the hurt in Vee's eyes, my resolve dropped away and the need to show her how she makes me feel takes over from my fear. I’m telling the truth—I am scared. I’m terrified what I might do to her.
This woman tears me apart. Vee has no clue about the power she holds over me. Every time her soft lips meet mine, each time the taste and scent of her surges through with a kiss, Vee destroys me further. I crave her, I need the rush she gave me before, and I’m prepared to chase the high at any cost.
The lust pushes away the fear, and her hurt prevents me dwelling on the past. She’s right. We know nothing of the future and can only be part of now.
Fuck it.
I spin Vee around and seize her face in both hands. She stumbles as I claim her mouth. Vee immediately responds, gripping my head in return and not holding back. We don't pause as the desire and understanding pours between us, each touch and kiss pulling us back to the place we want to be. Together, away from all the insanity surrounding us.
I grip Vee's hair and pull her head back, and her pulse races against my lips as I move them across her neck. Vee's body is soft and yielding, her scent intoxicating, and I can't keep the control I promised myself.
I don't want that control anymore.
I move my mouth back to Vee's and roughly part her lips with my tongue, my fingers moving to unbutton her shirt. There's no protest from Vee, instead she helps with trembling fingers and drops the shirt to the floor.
The lust takes over again and I press Vee against the wall. "I want you so fucking much. I lied when I said I didn't."
She looks back, eyes dark and cheeks flushed. "I know."
I’m desperate to touch and inhale the scent of Vee’s skin, and to be back in the time and place we were lost before, to bring that from the past to now. Unbuttoning her jeans, I yank at the material and she wriggles until they slide downwards. She smiles back at me, cheeks flushed.
In response, she drags my T-shirt over my head and runs featherlight fingers across my pecs to my hard abs and downwards to my waistband. Vee moves her hand between us and brushes her fingers against my bulging cock as our mouths meet again. She deftly undoes my fly, her hand curling around my length as I shuffle my jeans and briefs to the floor.
Fuck. I wanted the next time with Vee to be slow and loving, but there’s no chance of that.
I lift Vee and slide my hands across her smooth skin as she tightens her legs around my waist. I push myself close, my cock hardening against her thin panties. Vee grasps me around the neck and my mouth closes over hers, our kiss fevered as we tangle tongues.
I taste and relish Vee’s sweetness, the first step towards showing her everything she means—and does—to me.
Vee moans into my mouth and I press harder against her. She arches towards me and I slide my hands up her sides, pulling her bra downwards to slide my tongue against her breast's soft mound. As I close my mouth over her peaked nipple and swirl my tongue, a sound escapes Vee’s lips, one which wipes the last civilized part of me away.
Roughly, I yank her panties to one side, cock straining as my focus shifts to one thing: being inside Vee. Slipping my hand between her legs, I push a finger inside her and place my lips next to her ear, enjoying the slight hitch in her breath. Her hands slide into my hair, and the hold tightens as I hold my palm against her, moving my fingers and listening to the short, sharp breaths she takes. Her soft hand against my cock drives me further away from any chance I'll be gentle.
I hitch her higher, my length pressing against her soft centre, and her breath rushes out. I hold the tip of myself against her, ready.
Vee drags her mouth away, eyes dark and lips swollen, the pink creeping along her neck to her chest. "Don't stop."
"No chance." She kills me. This woman drives me insane. I don’t hold back, can’t. I grip Vee's ass and push hard into her. She’s tight and hot surrounding my cock, so fucking wet, and I drive into her again and again, seeking the rush and release only Vee can give me.
Her fingers grip my shoulders, nails painful against my skin, and her lips meet mine. I part Vee’s legs wider; she could be weightless in my arms, because all I’m aware of is the scent of Vee and sex, the way our skin slides against each other. The space between us disappears in the moment. We're part of each other, the way we both want, and not just physically. I urge her on as she matches my movements with hers, and enjoy how she grips my shoulders tighter, as if she never wants to let go.
The fear something bad will happen disappeared the moment we exploded into this hard, intense, and fucking amazing sex. The last few days have been an eternity, wanting her again.
Vee pushes a hand between us and I move back as she touches herself, chasing her own pleasure too. I watch her eyes closed and teeth grazing across her lips. Vee's breaths turn to soft moans as I pick up my urgency. She spurs me on with her movement, murmuring words I can't hear, and she swears and tightens her legs as her body clenches around me. I’m shocked by the rush taking over as I come hard, holding myself inside her as she continues to pulse around me. Vee’s legs grip me harder around the waist, harder as she pushes against me, head against the wall as she shudders again.
I cover her face in kisses and she relaxes into my arms, body melting into mine. My heart thumps against hers as I rest my ha
nd against the wall and continue to kiss her.
I never want to lose this girl.
Vee moves to stand and steadies herself against the wall, legs shaking as she looks up at me from beneath her tangled hair. "I told you it wouldn’t be the same. Look, I’m still here."
"Yeah. Not the same. Try fucking amazing, Vee." I pull her towards me and hold her face in both hands. "Do you know how much I love you? And that whatever happens, I’m with you. Always."
Vee pushes my damp hair back, "You don’t know how much it means to me, to know you love me, and won’t reject me now I’ve changed."
"But you haven’t. Something inside may be different, but you’re Vee."
"And she still loves you, Ewan." Her words fill my heart until my chest hurts, because I’m surrendering to a part of myself I’ve denied my whole time here. "This supercharged nuclear Vee," she says and chuckles.
I moisten my lips and trace a finger around her breast to her nipple, and her eyes darken again as it peaks. "Oh, yeah."
We laugh and joke as we dress, and I mean what I said. But I also witnessed Vee do something I could never imagine to the portal, and saw genuine fear in Logan’s face when he looked at her. The girl who looked into my eyes as our bodies connected isn’t filled with darkness, but with love and affection.
So what has changed?
I am fucking terrified what we might find inside that book.
14
VEE
Ewan pulls into the pub car park on his bike; I sit behind him, clinging on in fear.
Nope. Still not a fan.
As soon as he spotted my nerves, Ewan cut short the ride he was about to take me on, which my trembling body is grateful for. After the powerful sex I just had, I don’t need anymore dangerous thrills. Ewan wasn’t the only one scared I’d see another vision or fill with pain again. In the back of my mind, I worry what the connection is. With the others, I have Heath’s intense light from his magic; Xander’s crazy energy breaking things; and Joss’s heightened empathy. But Ewan? Is he infecting me with something?
I shake away the thought this could be negative. Not negative, I tell myself. He gave what I needed to take the powers and allow them to grow inside me.
"You okay?" asks Ewan.
There’s something about this guy when his hair’s messed up and he’s wearing his leather jacket. Secret fantasy about rough biker guys covered in tattoos who know how to make a girl scream? I guess that pales against the fantasy I’m living in now. But, hell, this guy just held me against the wall and did wicked things that won’t leave my mind right now.
I’m half-disappointed we left the house.
I hand my bike helmet to Ewan. "We weren't as long as Joss thought we would be."
Ewan bites his lip with a smile. "Is that a problem? Not long enough?"
"You know it wasn't." I tug him by the jacket towards me and place my lips on his mouth.
"At least you didn't run screaming this time," he says against my ear and nips the lobe.
Relieved he's dropped some of his intensity, I take his hand and squeeze his fingers. "You know you weren’t the reason why."
"Yes," he replies softly and kisses the side of my head. "I know any screaming from now on will be good."
I slap his ass and we walk into the pub, hands still held. The other guys sit at the same table as last time I walked in here, when I was accompanied by Heath instead of Ewan. This time, unlike the last, Xander is here, sitting in the seat I took the first time. My stomach flips at how much has changed in my life despite the surroundings being the same.
Ewan takes his seat beside Joss, and I perch on a spare stool beside him. This time around I don't avoid his touch as he places a hand on my leg. Joss throws us a knowing smile but says nothing.
"Vee, tell me what happened the first time you met these guys. I'm curious." Xander drinks from his bottle.
"I thought I was on a weird date with Heath."
Ewan stares. "You did? A date with the weirdo who stalked you?"
"I did not stalk her," Heath retorts.
"You just happened to lurk outside my house, huh?" I say and poke him affectionately.
Xander glares at Heath. "What? You could've freaked her out. Following Vee was a dumb move."
"Says you, who'd buggered off fuck knows where, without telling us," snaps Heath. "Not exactly helpful."
The conversation stops dead. I need to talk to Heath about the tension he’s carrying around—I haven’t had a chance since our world shifted planes again.
"Did you know Vee hit Heath with her car?" Joss puts in.
Xander splutters his drink and wipes his mouth. "She deliberately hit you? What did you do to annoy her?"
"Nothing, she's just a bad driver."
I scowl at him. "It was raining and you appeared from nowhere."
"Okay. Fine. I walked in front of your car."
"I knew it!" exclaims Ewan. "I told you, didn't I, Vee?"
I stare at Heath in disbelief. "You did? That was horrible! At first, I thought I'd killed somebody."
"Sorry. We suspected someone else was following you and had to get to you first."
"You could’ve spoken to me at work. It would’ve been less painful."
"I tried getting your attention at work and failed. I smiled at you once and after that you never looked at me again. Well, apart from my ass."
I bite down on my lip to prevent a retort as Joss snickers. "She’s always staring at your ass, Heath."
"What did you think that night I met you all?" I ask Joss, with a glare.
"Wasn't it obvious? I was pretty stunned to finally see you. Almost literally. I could feel your presence before you walked through the door."
"Then why weren’t you the one looking for me instead of Heath?" I ask.
Joss lowers his voice. "Because Heath can kill quicker, if needed. Like you saw."
I shift in my seat at the memory. The shocking evening he killed two people, before I realised they were a fae and demon. Two people trying to abduct or kill me. "I remember."
"Anyway, we'd agreed nobody was going to touch you, which I was okay with until I saw you," Joss continues. "Right at that moment I knew you'd be trouble."
"Same," says Ewan.
"I know, you obviously didn't like me when we met," I tell Ewan.
"I was jealous." I blink at his words. "Because you were with Heath and were close to him; I thought he’d gone against our agreement."
"Are you still jealous?" asks Xander with curiosity.
"No. Are you?" retorts Ewan.
"No."
I scratch my cheek. "Do we need a conversation about our relationships? Y’know, sometime after we stop the apocalypse, maybe."
"I think we're all beyond that now, aren't we?" says Joss. "This is a little bit more than five guys in a pub with a girl."
"Yeah, thanks for the reality check, Joss," mutters Heath.
The group lapses into silence and the evening sinks into drinking and the odd joke. I run my finger around my glass’s rim. This was supposed to be a night off from stress, but Ewan's checking his phone every five minutes and Xander's constantly scanning the room as if a demon horde might invade at any moment.
The King’s Arms was my local, or as much of a local as antisocial Vee had on her nights out with Anna. My stomach twists uncomfortably. I haven't contacted her since I moved into my new world, at first terrified she might not exist, and later I deleted all my contacts around the time I decided not to be human anymore. I could locate her if I wanted, but that world seems distant now.
Anna, who I played pool with in this pub, and whose world I now have to save. Oh, how life changes.
"Vee? Are you okay?" I look at a concerned Heath. "You look sad."
"Do you play pool?" I ask.
He grins. "Yeah, and I always win."
"Sure you do, dude," says Ewan.
"Cool. I'll beat you all," I say and stand. Four pairs of eyes regard me with amusement. "What? I will.
Who wants to go first?"
"Heath did last time, apparently," Joss says with a sly smile and I smack him lightly across the back of the head. "Or was it Ewan?"
Ewan glowers at him. "Not cool, Joss."
"Bloody hell, I’m joking around!" He huffs. "Sorry if I offended you, Vee."
"I’m amused, not offended." The pool table at the opposite end of the pub is empty with no players around. I indicate the bar. "I’ll get the cues."
I head across the pub, honestly amused by Joss’s inappropriate comment. Sometimes, he can’t help himself and his attempts to lighten situations fail. That could’ve been one awkward conversation.
The barman, Gary, greets me and I wait for him to remark how long it's been since he saw me. But it hasn't been long. All the crazy shit that's happened recently has been in the space of weeks, when it feels like months.
"Hey, sweetheart."
I turn to the voice on my left as Gary hands me the pool cues. A man with sandy blond hair and drunk eyes, a few years older than me, grins back.
I hate being called sweetheart. Or honey. Or love. In fact, any pet name at all pisses me off. Heath once tried to call me baby, and I told him if he didn't stop I'd slap him. He laughed, until realising I was serious. Did he pass this nugget of information onto the others? Because nobody calls me anything but Vee.
"Hello." I take the cues the barman holds out.
"Do you want a drink?" the guy asks and gestures at the bar.
"No. I have one. I'm with my friends." I indicate the four guys, all in conversation except Xander, who's now looking in my direction.
The man twists his head to look. "Ah. Those four. I’ve seen them with a few girls in here. " He rubs his nose. "You don't look like their usual type. "
"I guess their taste changed." I swallow down the rising jealousy from earlier. They've hinted they'd pick up girls in the past; of course they did. Look at them, and I've firsthand experience they know what they're doing in the sex department.
"Yeah. Guess they have." After taking a too-lingering look at my breasts swelling above my black top, he leans in and whispers, "Sometimes girls disappear around here, and I've seen some of them with those guys. Careful you're not the next to disappear."
