by London Casey
“Helps me sleep,” he said.
“You don’t sleep much?”
“How’d you guess? By my midnight walk that saved your life?”
“Right.”
“You want some?” he asked. “Or maybe not. Don’t need you wandering around out there.”
“That was the rum. Plus, I want to be here.”
I cringed at my horrible attempt to flirt. That was definitely not a strong suit of mine. I was too honest, my heart too easily available.
“Please pour some,” I said. “I need it.”
Syi topped off my mug with whiskey and then grabbed his and sat down in a chair. He put his feet up on the coffee table. They were huge. Just like the rest of him. I’d never seen feet so big in my life.
“So what do you do up here?” I asked. “I mean, for a living.”
“Work for a lumber company,” he said.
“Fitting.”
“Why’s that?” he asked.
“Just… I guess there’s nothing else to do.”
“You could write books,” he said. “Have a cozy little cabin. Nobody to bother you. Shit, I have electricity, heat, and internet. What else would I need?”
“Do you write books?”
“No,” he said.
But he didn’t smile as though he was joking or something.
I glanced up and saw the second floor loft. And a desk right against the open railing.
“Is this your only place?” I asked.
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I mean, do you have a normal house? Or, a house in a town or something?”
“Why the questions?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Just trying to make conversation.”
“Why don’t you cut the small talk and get to the good stuff.”
“Like what?”
“Who hurt you, sugar?”
I felt like an elephant had stepped on my chest. “Uh…”
“Where do you work?” he asked.
“A flower shop.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. My friend Kim, her parents own it. Easy job.”
“That’s what you like?”
“No.”
“But you do it anyway.”
“Do you like chopping down trees?” I asked.
“No,” Syi said. For the first time that night, he grinned a little. “But I do it anyway.”
“I used to have a job in finance,” I said. “A good job. A great career path ahead of me.”
“What happened?”
“I let it slip away.”
“Because of the person that hurt you,” Syi said.
“Yeah.”
“Shit,” he said.
He didn’t apologize. Or say anything else.
He asked me, “Was it your boss?”
“What?”
“You and your boss. Were you dating him or something?”
“Wow. That’s a personal question.”
“I thought we were having a conversation?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
There we were, dancing around each other.
“I’m getting a little tired here,” he said. “I’ll keep the fire going but I’m going to get some shut eye.”
“Right there?” I asked.
“Chair is comfy as hell,” he said. “You okay on the couch? You can have the bed if you want.”
Will you be in it?
I didn’t have the nerve to ask the question, but maybe I would have if I drank a few more cups of the tea with the whiskey in it. Each sip made my eyes water. But I suddenly started to feel very relaxed.
I watched as Syi faced the fire and just sat there. Thinking. His mind totally somewhere else. I put my head down and pulled the blanket up to my shoulder. I was comfortable. So comfortable. Hiding from the world.
Kim sent me a text a little bit later.
Where are you?
I looked at Syi and thought about everything that had happened.
He looked back, his face so scruffy, his eyes so dark. He looked like a madman, but the kind you’d meet in a sexy dream.
“Boyfriend?” he asked.
“No.”
He nodded and looked forward again.
I wrote back to Kim.
At a ‘sleepover’ … with a guy. Stop texting.
It was true, but I’m sure what Kim thought was happening and what was actually happening were two different things.
She text me back, proving my point.
Whore! ;)
I left it at that.
She thought I was finally with a guy, blowing off steam, getting over what happened with Thad. Instead Syi was across the room in a chair.
He stood up and grabbed a log and tossed it onto the fire. Sparks flew and he stepped back and sat back down.
The silence was so intense.
I was comfortable on the couch, under the blanket, in front of the fire, but I almost felt uncomfortable in his presence.
“We were supposed to spend our life together,” I said.
“Who? Thad?”
I gasped. “How do…”
Syi looked back again. “When I picked you up that night, you said his name.”
“Shit,” I whispered. I swallowed hard. “Yeah. Well, that’s… yeah. It was all planned out.”
“What happened?”
“He took a job offer across the country.”
“You didn’t want to go?”
“I was told not to join,” I said, leaving out a few very important details.
“And you listened?”
“I’m not going somewhere I’m not wanted.”
“You’re here,” Syi said with a grin.
“Funny. Way to make me feel more like a loser.”
“Just saying.”
“I wasn’t going to chase someone who didn’t love me.”
“Which meant you didn’t love him,” Syi said.
“Not necessarily.”
“Definitely,” Syi said. “You have love and you believe in it? You chase that shit until your last breath. That realness, when it hits you, it’s worth dying for.”
Syi stared at me with a set of eyes so honest, it made me shiver.
We didn’t speak another word for the rest of the night.
I couldn’t get comfortable in my mind. I fought against dreams that were always going to win the battle. When I finally opened my eyes, I looked around and remembered where I was. It was dark all around me. The fireplace was glowing a soft orange color from the embers dying. I pulled the blanket tighter to me and took a deep breath, smelling Syi.
There was a small light above me, spreading across the ceiling of the cabin, which was made up of wood beams that ran end to end. I turned and propped myself up for a second before I sat up. I looked up and realized Syi was sitting at the desk up in the loft.
Was he a writer or something?
That would have been crazy. This huge lumberjack guy living in the woods, living in this cabin, writing novels in the middle of the night.
I stood from the couch and slowly crept toward the steps. I took them one by one, trying not to make any noise. I still had about three steps to go when I was able to see Syi. He sat there at the desk with his two hands to the desk. Staring down at it. He was writing. He had no notebook, pen, pencil. No laptop either. Instead, it looked like a map.
A map?
That’s when Syi looked up,right at me.
I froze and put my back to the wall.
The look in his eyes…
“Sorry,” I whispered. “The light woke me. Wasn’t sure what it was. If you needed something. Or maybe…”
Syi reached forward and pulled the string on a lamp on the desk.
Darkness was everywhere then.
I saw his silhouette rise up from the desk and walk toward me. I had a chill going through me as though I was in a horror movie. But at the same time, the closer Syi walked to me, the hotter my body felt.
He started to walk down the steps
and stopped when he was about eye-level with me. He was down a few steps to make that happen.
We stared at each other in the darkness of his cabin.
He didn’t say a word to me.
I didn’t say a word to him.
Instead, I took my chance as I reached up and touched his face. My fingers curling into the beard on his face. I could smell him. I could feel his presence so intensely overwhelming. It was like I had no air. But I liked it. Like he could blanket me. Like he could give me the chance to figure it all out.
If I could just stay in this cabin until I was ready to face the world again.
I think he understood that, too.
Syi touched my face, just like he had done in the bathroom. His heavily-calloused thumb sliding under my bottom lip. Making my toes curl against the wood step. Making my knees feel like they were nonexistent.
I let out a breath slowly but it came out as a quiet, shuddering sigh.
Syi leaned in a little more, close enough that I could taste his breath. My lips parted, wanting more. I needed more. He had no idea how badly I needed…
He turned and continued his walk down the stairs.
I watched his silhouette walk from the stairs toward the fireplace. I heard some noise and then there was the scattering of sparks. Syi put some logs into the fireplace, on the embers. I smelled the wood as it started to catch fire.
Within a few minutes, the fire was back alive. The light spread across the cabin, making the color and shadows dance as the flames flickered.
I went down the stairs, slowly, and walked to the couch.
For a few seconds I felt like I was in a dream.
I got back on the couch, under the blanket, and looked at Syi as he sat there, staring at the fire.
“Lara?” he asked.
“Yeah?”
“Whatever you think you know about me or you think you’ve seen, forget about it. After tonight, your job is to forget about me. I don’t want you up here ever again. Stay away.”
I didn’t respond.
I shut my eyes with a heavy sigh.
But I knew one thing.
I was never going to forget Syi.
11
The Mystery of the Man
(LARA)
The next morning Osiris made me breakfast, coffee, and then showed me the door. He was in a hurry and he drove me to my car. Then a guy showed up in a massive machine. He hooked chains up to my car and pulled me out of the mud within seconds. Then my car was positioned to go down the mountain.
Just like that, my welcome was over and I was getting into my car to go back home. I was still wearing Osiris’s flannel and baggy pajama pants. I wasn’t sure if what was happening counted as a walk of shame or not, but it was certainly something different.
He stood at the front of his truck, arms crossed, muscles spilling over muscles.
The guy operating the large machine climbed out and shook hands with Osiris.
“Thanks, Jerry,” he said.
“No problem, Syi. I expect you at work within the hour.”
“I’m feeling sick today,” Syi said as he looked at me. Then he coughed.
Jerry looked at me. “Right. Sick. See you in an hour.”
I walked to Syi and stood there. “I could have gotten changed. I don’t need to take your clothes.”
“Not worried about it,” he said.
“Right. I guess this means I have to go.”
“You don’t have to do anything,” Syi said. “You’re out of the mud, though. Your best bet is to keep going down that mountain. Back to reality.”
I nodded. I started to turn but stopped. “You know what? I didn’t ask what you were doing last night. I didn’t pry into your life. I thought I was doing the right thing coming up here.”
“The right thing for yourself,” Syi said.
“So? Is that so bad? Isn’t that what you’re doing? Hiding?”
Syi curled his lip. “Time for you to go, sugar.”
“Yeah. Right. Time for me to go. But at least I’m honest with myself, Syi. I’m hurt. I’m confused. And for a minute, being up here, I felt sort of okay. Like I had a chance to really think. I’m not going to thank you because that will just piss you off even more.”
I turned and took a step when I felt him grab me. Syi turned me around, now holding me by the arms.
Staring down at me.
“What did he do?” he whispered to me.
“He left.”
“Besides that.”
I licked my lips. “He left to be with someone else. He had a family I didn’t know about. Everything I did was around him and for him. And then he was suddenly gone. Everyone around me keeps telling me it’s going to be okay but it doesn’t feel that way. And I’m tired of hearing that. Maybe it will be okay, someday, but that’s not today. Being up here…”
Syi stole everything from me. My shock, breath, words, everything.
He pulled me in and pressed his lips to mine.
I wiped the back of my hand to my lips. It was like I expected to see something there, evidence that Syi had kissed me.
It was a quick kiss, one that he started and quickly pulled back from, a look of regret on his face. He got into his truck and backed away, leaving me to myself to drive down the mountain. Which I did. I drove down the mountain, back home, got changed, and came to work.
Now I was working on a large bouquet of lilies, roses, offset by baby’s breath. A large vase to go with it, something to put on the counter and let customers eye-hump into buying. Calvin loved when I did stuff like that. And he laughed hard when I said customers would eye-hump the vase and flowers and eventually buy it.
All these little tips and tricks were second nature to me in the flower shop, which was odd, but it served as a much needed distraction.
I put the vase on the counter and moved a small box of decorative rocks to the side. We grabbed a bunch of the boxes on discount from one of our retailers. They were desperate to move them out of their warehouse. Calvin said no, but Cindy loved them. Calvin muttered something about happy wife, happy life and then told me to get a deal. I did. We paid pennies on the dollar for the dumb rocks. They gave us a huge margin and actually sold pretty well. What I did, though, was take them out of the cardboard box they came in and put them into a small crate. It gave a more rustic and almost antique-type feel.
Who knew some woman in finance could suddenly become a product placement and marketing person?
“That looks dumb.”
I turned and Percy stood there holding a large black trash bag.
“Practicing for what you see in the mirror?” I asked.
“Still not funny.”
“Neither are you.”
Percy dropped the bag. “So, I heard a rumor that you had a little fun last night.” Percy opened his right hand and started to push down through the air. Then he bit his lip.
“What is that supposed to be?” I asked.
“The mattress,” he said. “Yeah, baby, yeah.”
I curled my lip. “Um…”
“Percy, take the trash out and then organize all the cardboard.”
Calvin stood behind the counter.
Percy saluted his father and then winked at me.
“He’s gross,” I whispered, shaking my head.
“You know, there was a time when I thought he liked you,” Calvin said. “But now I know he treats you like a sister.”
“I guess the question then is… is that a good thing?”
Calvin grinned. “Just hope he doesn’t get you for Secret Santa. He takes his twenty-dollar limit and gets the most obnoxious thing ever.”
“So I’m part of Secret Santa now?” I asked.
“Sure.”
“Is that some sort of promotion?”
“Without pay, yes,” Calvin said with a grin.
I laughed.
Calvin could always make me laugh. Cindy always put me in my place. Kim always pulled me to the line to cross with her. A
nd Percy would either make fun of me or… make fun of me.
“I like that,” Calvin said and nodded to the vase. “How much?”
“I’m thinking forty.”
“Forty? Wow.”
“Perceived value.”
“Right.”
“Do you disagree?”
“I agree if it sells. You should take pictures of all these. We can make a catalog of them.”
“That’s a good idea,” I said.
“Unless you plan on leaving us. Going back to the world of finance.”
I smiled. “I can’t talk about that.”
“Of course you can’t,” Calvin said. He then looked around. “I know I’m your boss. I know you and Kim are double trouble. I know Cindy has a heart of gold. I know Percy is disgusting. But if I can just stand here as… as a father figure for a second.”
“Okay.”
“I’m not going to judge you, Lara. Tell you what to do. Fire you, give you a raise. We all hit these walls in life. It happens. And falling over is nothing to be ashamed about. You’re going to be okay. But whatever you think is on that mountain, be careful.”
“I’m not going to get lost up there,” I said. “That was a bad mistake. And I got stuck there last night. It rained…”
“All I can tell you, Lara, is find out about the man before you make your assumptions.”
Oh. We’re talking about Osiris now.
“So you know Osiris?”
Calvin raised an eyebrow. “Well, I’m surprised you got close enough to get his name. Even talk to him.”
“Why? What’s so mysterious about him? I don’t get it.”
Calvin sighed. “I’m not going to talk about someone else’s life, Lara. I just know what I’ve seen, heard, and the fact that he’s up on that mountain, avoiding all reality.”
“Why?”
Calvin just stared at me. “It makes sense, though. I mean, if you believe in connections.”
“Why’s that? You can’t just talk like this.”
“You both are lost and lonely,” Calvin said. Then his cell began to ring. “Ah, that’s Cindy. I better answer or she’ll get nervous.”
“Wait,” I said. “What do you mean he’s lost and lonely? What happened to him?”
“Just be careful,” Calvin said. “I love you like my own daughter, Lara. But I’m not going to hover over you. You’re a grown woman. I just hope you can find your focus before you let your heart lead anywhere it doesn’t belong.” Calvin took the call. “Hey, my love. How are you?”
