“Please do go on,” Kaylene murmured. “Dawnmarie and I do have much to say before she leaves tomorrow.”
“And you, Violet Eyes?” White Wolf asked as he dropped his hand from Fire Thunder’s shoulder, to take his wife’s hands in his. “Do you mind?”
“It is not as though we won’t be together day and night these next several weeks as we travel back to our Wisconsin homeland,” she said, laughing softly. She stood on tiptoe and gave White Wolf a kiss on his cheek. “Go on, darling. Enjoy.”
Kaylene and Dawnmarie stood back and watched their men ride off on their horses. Kaylene sighed.
“Aren’t they both so handsome?” she murmured.
“Yes, and my husband is as handsome as the day I first laid eyes on him at my father’s trading post those many years ago,” Dawnmarie said, for a moment going back in time.
She fondly recalled that day when she had stood at the doorway of the trading post, so bashful, so in love, as she had watched White Wolf walk up the path toward her from the river.
When their eyes had met and held, she had felt such a strange, wondrous melting at the pit of her stomach.
Dawnmarie had loved White Wolf instantly. Completely.
And now it was so many years later and she still loved him as much.
“It shows,” Kaylene said, placing a gentle hand to Dawnmarie’s cheek.
“What shows?” Dawnmarie said, her eyes gleaming with wonderful memories.
“How much you love him,” Kaylene murmured.
“As I see it in the way you look at Fire Thunder how much you love him,” Dawnmarie said, drawing Kaylene into her arms, gently hugging her.
“He may hate me after what I do today,” Kaylene said, her voice breaking. “Yet I feel I must, to help you.”
Dawnmarie stepped away from Kaylene. “You do not have to go into her lodge,” she murmured. “I shall encourage her to step outside. We can talk as well there, as inside.”
“But if I am seen outside with Moon Glow, even that might enrage Fire Thunder enough into thinking that he can’t trust me,” Kaylene demurred.
“Then I encourage you not to go with me,” Dawnmarie said softly. “I want to do nothing that might cause a strain between you and Fire Thunder.”
“Perhaps I had best wait for you in Fire Thunder’s cabin,” Kaylene said, never wanting to do anything to upset Fire Thunder. The Kickapoo rules were rigidly obeyed. If she broke just one of their rules now, she might lose Fire Thunder forever.
“I won’t be long,” Dawnmarie said, lifting the skirt of her white doeskin dress and walking away.
Kaylene watched, then turned and walked toward Fire Thunder’s cabin. She smiled when she saw Little Sparrow standing in the door with Midnight at her side.
She ran to them. She knelt and embraced Little Sparrow, then Midnight.
Then she leaned away from them both and spoke in the sign language that she was learning to use more skillfully each day, and told Little Sparrow that she had missed her during the ceremony.
Little Sparrow told her that soon she would be old enough to participate in all the activities of their people. A soft color of pink flooded her cheeks when she told Kaylene that she now had a boyfriend. He even overlooked her inability to speak. She was teaching him her sign language. He enjoyed learning.
Kaylene told her that she was glad, then hugged Little Sparrow again as her thoughts were filled with how Moon Glow would react to Dawnmarie’s question, a question spoken from the depths of Dawnmarie’s heart.
“Moon Glow,” Dawnmarie said, as she stood just outside the Trotter’s small wigwam. “It is I, Dawnmarie. Please come out and talk with me. I am leaving tomorrow. I have something to ask you.”
She waited patiently in the deep, dark shadows of the trees that surrounded Moon Glow’s lodge. The coolness of the forest interior wafted by and touched Dawnmarie’s cheeks. She felt a chill run slowly up and down her spine the longer she waited. She hugged herself, her eyes wavering, thinking that Moon Glow did not want to see her.
She started to turn and leave when suddenly the entrance flap was swept aside and Moon Glow was there, a cat in the crook of her left arm, the others slinking around her ankles, looking up at Dawnmarie with their luminous eyes.
“I knew you would not leave without saying good-bye,” Moon Glow said in her raspy, old voice.
“I thought you perhaps didn’t want to, since you did not come out right away,” Dawnmarie said, her gaze moving slowly over Moon Glow.
Her gray, thinning hair touched the ground in awkward wisps. She wore a shabby robe of white rabbit fur which she had surely had way back when she knew Dawnmarie’s mother. Her eyes were weary, their dark brown color now almost gray. But in them Dawnmarie saw a warmth and love.
“I was not sure if I should come out when you called my name,” Moon Glow said, looking quickly past Dawnmarie, to see if anyone saw them standing there, talking. “I was not sure if Fire Thunder would approve. I waited to see if he came to whisk you away.” She cackled as her eyes moved back to Dawnmarie. “Since he did not come, I had to believe that you succeeded at coming without him seeing you.”
“He is with my husband on horseback, enjoying the last hours he has with him as he shows him his land and longhorns,” Dawnmarie murmured.
“Yes, I have seen the longhorns and I have seen the land, but only in my dreams,” Moon Glow said, her voice taking on a melancholy hollowness. “I have only glimpsed the longhorns as they have been driven on the outskirts of the village toward their pasture. That was enough to give me cause to dream of them. I, before I became labeled the Trotter, knew the land as well as anyone. I, too, enjoyed taking walks, looking at and feeling the peacefulness of everything. It is so much different than Wisconsin, Illinois, or Indiana. Even Texas. I like this place. It is good that Fire Thunder’s leadership was strong enough to settle our people here.”
“Then you would not leave, even if it meant that you would no longer be forced to live in isolation?” Dawnmarie said, watching Moon Glow’s expression change to that of wonder.
“I have never been given the chance to leave,” Moon Glow said softly. “Even when I gave my people cause to label me as different than they, I was not banished. I was able to stay.”
“Then would you leave if given the chance since you have been forced into a life of isolation?” Dawnmarie asked, her voice and eyes anxious.
“Daughter of my friend Doe Eyes, what are you saying?” Moon Glow said warily.
The cat on Moon Glow’s arm leaped, hissing, when Dawnmarie reached for Moon Glow’s hands and took them.
“Moon Glow, come with me and White Wolf,” Dawnmarie blurted out, aware of the boniness of Moon Glow’s hands. “Live with us in our village many suns’ ride from here, in Wisconsin. There you will live a life free of disgrace. No one there will know of your past. You can begin life anew. Surely you can be happier there than here, where you are, in a sense, a prisoner.”
“You are your mother’s daughter,” Moon Glow said, her voice breaking. “Like Doe Eyes, you are a woman of a kind and generous heart. But I cannot go with you.”
“I don’t understand,” Dawnmarie said, stunned that Moon Glow would refuse this chance to leave her life of seclusion. “How could you want to stay here, where no one is allowed to talk to you?”
“Although I am living a sort of exiled life among my people here in the Mexican mountains, in truth I feel important,” Moon Glow tried to explain. “I have the power to absorb the sins of others so that those who have sinned can begin life anew, as though born again. If I leave, who then would my people look to for help?”
Dawnmarie choked back a sob to see this elderly woman who was once her mother’s very best friend think only of others. Her mother had been the same. She always put other people before herself. Dawnmarie had never wanted for anything that her mother could possibly get for her.
Dawnmarie took the frail, elderly woman within her gentle arms. “I will not say any more t
o you about leaving,” she murmured. “But even though I am leaving you behind, I will take a part of you with me inside my heart.”
“As your mother did those long years ago when she was stolen from her people,” Moon Glow said, her voice breaking. “I never forgot your mother, nor her goodness.” She cackled as she leaned away from Dawnmarie. “She and I differed in one respect. I could not love just one man. I loved them all.”
Dawnmarie laughed softly when she saw that that thought brought a look of satisfaction to Moon Glow’s eyes, as well as enough memories perhaps to content her until she walked the road to the hereafter.
“I imagine you were beautiful, so beautiful the men could not stay away from you,” Dawnmarie said, her eyes dancing.
“Your mother was as beautiful, but she knew how to turn her back on temptation,” Moon Glow said, cackling again. Then she grew somber. “And dear, sweet Running Fawn has the same restlessness as I did. But it was whose arms she chose to fill that was the difference. I never looked for loving elsewhere. The men I bedded were always Kickapoo!”
Then Dawnmarie heard horses arriving at the village, and thinking it might be Fire Thunder and White Wolf returning, she grabbed Moon Glow in her arms and gave her a last hug. “I truly must go now,” she whispered. She clung to Moon Glow, the same as she might her mother were she still alive. “I will never forget you.”
“Nor shall I you,” Moon Glow said, then broke away and hurried back inside her wigwam, her cats trailing along behind her.
Dawnmarie wiped tears from her eyes. She felt as though she was saying another good-bye to her mother. She then rushed away from the small wigwam nestled amidst the thick stand of trees.
When she stepped out into the sunshine, she smiled, for everything was finished and she had the rest of her life to fill with her children, and . . . grandchildren! Tomorrow she would begin her journey home, her true home.
Chapter 25
Brightest truth, purest truth in the universe,
All were for me
In the kiss of one girl.
—ROBERT BROWNING
The procession was slow as it made its way down the mountainside. They stayed far enough back from John Shelton so that he was not aware of being followed. Fire Thunder had released him from captivity and handed him the reins of a burro, and John had realized that he was free to go. Kaylene had stood stiffly at Fire Thunder’s side watching John’s reaction. She could tell that he was suspicious of the release.
And he had the right to be, for although released, he was still somewhat a captive. If he did not lead Fire Thunder and Kaylene to the carnival, Fire Thunder would quickly confront him. If John Shelton suspected why he had been released, and refused to lead Kaylene to Anna Shelton, so that she could question her, John Shelton’s freedom would be short-lived. As it was, he was lucky enough to get a second chance at life again, once his use to Kaylene was over.
The sun was moving toward the zenith, as noon approached. Kaylene realized how long she had been on horseback. Eight hours.
They had risen and left before dawn.
And they might have to travel until the moon was high in the sky to finally reach the carnival. Several warriors had stayed behind to guard the Kickapoo village in Fire Thunder’s absence. Several more warriors were traveling with Fire Thunder, Kaylene, White Wolf, and Dawnmarie.
Kaylene was already weary from the journey, San Carlos having been left behind long ago. They had crossed the Rio Grande, and were now riding along its shore in Texas.
“We are almost at the departure point,” Dawnmarie said as she sidled her horse closer to Kaylene’s gentle mare. “It is sad that we have only met and become friends to then so soon say good-bye.”
“You said that you are going to return to Fire Thunder’s village from time to time to be with your people again,” Kaylene said, smiling softly at Dawnmarie. “Our friendship will strengthen with each of your visits.”
“Yes, we will return, should our health hold up and allow it,” Dawnmarie said, glancing at White Wolf, who was riding beside Fire Thunder, talking. She looked at Kaylene again. “You are getting a good man when you marry Fire Thunder. When do you think the marriage ceremony will be held?”
“Soon, so says Fire Thunder,” Kaylene said, thrilled at the thought of being with him forever. “I can hardly wait.”
“But you are smart to first seek the truth about your parents’ identities,” Dawnmarie said, becoming somewhat somber. “My life would have been more fulfilled had I found my true people sooner. Although I do not see how, since White Wolf has been so good to me, I am certain that I would have been happier had I made peace with my people long ago. Perhaps soon you will be able to make peace with your troubled heart.”
“But what if the names of my parents are never known?” Kaylene murmured. “What if my . . . if Anna cannot remember? What if she won’t tell me? What if my parents are dead?”
“Do not burden your heart with such concerns until you are given cause to,” Dawnmarie said, reaching over to gently touch Kaylene’s arm. “Have faith, much as I, and your wishes will come true. You will know your parents. You will then have cause to rejoice.”
Fire Thunder drew a tight rein. He wheeled his horse around and rode back to Kaylene and Dawnmarie, White Wolf beside him.
White Wolf edged his horse up closer to Dawnmarie’s. He reached over and gave her a soft kiss on her cheek. “Violet Eyes, this is where we must head homeward,” he said, gesturing toward the east. He then gave Kaylene a warm smile. “Kaylene, this is where we must say a farewell, but not a final one. As long as our bodies are able, I will bring my wife to Mexico to be with her people. Soon you will be Fire Thunder’s wife. When Violet Eyes and I return, you might even have a child to share with us.”
“Yes, I shall act as grandmother to the child,” Dawnmarie said, laughing softly.
“That would be wonderful,” Kaylene said, her insides glowing at the thought of having children with Fire Thunder, and of giving the child a true home.
Dawnmarie reached over and hugged Kaylene. “Be happy,” she whispered.
“Please be careful on the long journey that lies ahead of you,” Kaylene said, returning the hug.
Dawnmarie led her horse to one side while White Wolf came and gave Kaylene a hug, then clasped hands of friendship with Fire Thunder.
“May the Great Spirit follow you forever and keep you safe,” Fire Thunder said, his voice drawn.
Kaylene and Fire Thunder’s horses moved closer. They waved at Dawnmarie and White Wolf as they rode away.
They continued on their own journey, a scout having gone ahead to keep track of John Shelton.
They rode in silence for a while longer. Then in the distance, Kaylene caught her first sight of several tents, and many wagons that were spread out along the river.
“They have made camp, it seems, not knowing where to go, or what to do, without the leadership of your father,” Fire Thunder said. He nodded. “See now how your father is so close? Soon they will know that he has been released unharmed.”
“Surely the carnival men will become suspicious of his release,” Kaylene said, drawing a tight rein alongside Fire Thunder. They were far enough back, with several trees obscuring the view of the carnival tents, yet close enough to watch what was happening there.
Soon there was a flurry of activity as John was spied riding toward the campsite. Men, women, and children ran out to meet him.
Kaylene swallowed hard. Tears of regret filled her eyes when she saw the familiar figure of Anne Shelton come into view, hesitant, not appearing all that happy to see that her husband was alive.
And Kaylene understood. Surely being separated from him, had given Anna a peaceful heart if only for a short time.
Guilt spread throughout Kaylene, that she was, in part, responsible for John’s reappearance in Anna’s life. Now she wondered if it had been right to sacrifice Anna’s happiness to ensure her own.
John slid from his burro and
walked it on toward the camp, Anna walking a short distance behind him, now seemingly hesitant at how to react in his presence. He even ignored her.
Fire Thunder yanked his rifle from its gunboot. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, giving Kaylene a wavering stare.
“I was, until I was reminded of John’s cruelty to Anna,” Kaylene murmured. “But now?” Her jaw tightened and her eyes flared with a renewed anger over what had been kept from her all those years, and by whom.
“Yes, I’m quite positive I want to do this,” she said. She took a small derringer from her front skirt pocket and clutched its handle tightly.
“We will not use the firearms unless our lives are threatened,” Fire Thunder reassured her. “If gunfire breaks out, go into hiding. Kaylene, I do not want to lose you while I am trying to make life right for you.”
“I’ll be all right,” Kaylene said, swallowing hard.
Fire Thunder raised his rifle into the air as his men swarmed around him, their own firearms drawn.
Kaylene rode off with them. She kept close to Fire Thunder’s side. She scarcely breathed, she was so afraid. And in a matter of minutes she found herself with the Kickapoo warriors and Fire Thunder in a wide circle around the camp, the men in the camp rendered helpless beneath the aim of so many firearms.
John Shelton sent a seething glare at Fire Thunder, and then Kaylene. “I should have known that you weren’t letting me go just from the goodness of your hearts,” he said, his voice a low, angry hiss.
Ignoring him, Kaylene dismounted, her eyes locked with Anna’s. Her heart thundered wildly as she moved toward this woman she had loved from childhood, yet now was hesitant to embrace.
This woman had deceived her. How could she ever have any feelings for her again?
“Kaylene, darling,” Anna said, running toward her. Kaylene eased her derringer to her side as Anna came closer. She took a step away from Anna, not able to embrace her as they came face-to-face.
“Kaylene, what’s the matter?” Anna asked, tears filling her eyes. She gazed at the small gun in Kaylene’s hand, then questioned her again with her eyes. “Why are you behaving like this? Why was your father released, and then the Indians have come and surrounded us, their firearms drawn?” Again she looked at the derringer and stifled a sob behind her hand. “And, Lord, Kaylene, even you are armed.”
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