by R. S. Kovach
She’d always been an East Coast girl, and her whole existence—her family, friends, and career—was tied to the greater New York City area. Sure, she was a competent adult open to new experiences, but moving cross-country and leaving the familiar behind was still daunting.
The internal struggle between these conflicting emotions would have nagged away at her for the rest of the day had it not been for the distraction provided by one of the lodge’s latest guests. Having arrived just a day earlier, Reese was an intellectual property lawyer from San Francisco whose frankness about everything—even the eating disorder that landed her at Pebble Creek—had already put off most people around her. Ali found it refreshing, and after she showed the perky redhead around, they ended up people-watching on the rear patio under the warm glow of the setting sun.
While she’d given the newcomer a heads-up about some of the more colorful characters to avoid—a certain Southeast Asian nemesis’s name may have come up—Reese was more intrigued by the opposite sex.
“Aw, he’s kind of cute.” She leaned back in an Adirondack chair before nodding toward a guy in a beanie and horn-rimmed glasses standing across the patio.
Ali giggled, pulling her feet under her. “Sorry, but he’s batting for the other team.”
“Crap. How about him?” Reese moved on to a man sipping beer at a nearby table.
“Married,” Ali lamented.
The other pouted. “That one?”
She shook her head. “Bad breath.”
“Ew.” Reese scanned the crowd. “Then him?”
Ali remembered a prior conversation with the guy in the plaid shorts. “Totally self-absorbed.”
The young woman sighed. “How did you ever survive three weeks in this place?”
“I don’t know. Kept busy, I guess.” Ali smiled, but as soon as the words left her lips, she thought of Hank. She pouted, internally bemoaning the fact that he still hadn’t returned.
“Well, lucky you. One more.” Reese tapped her fingers together while doing a final sweep of the diminishing selection. “How about that guy?”
“Boring.” Ali glanced at the muscle-head and feigned a yawn. “Unless you enjoy stories about how cheese was made in the Middle Ages. Because if you do, then he’s your winner.”
Reese laughed. “Point taken. But they all can’t be bad. Come on. I have an idea.” Grabbing Ali by the arm, she ran toward the lawn and picked up a discarded soccer ball. It didn’t take a lot of effort to put together two teams, and soon they were in the middle of a heated match.
Ali had played in high school, but it took her a bit to get back into the game. She didn’t have much to do with her side leading five to three, but when a midfielder passed her the ball, she took off for the goal. With her head down, she zigzagged to dodge the opposition before dribbling down the field at full speed. Concentrating more on keeping control than looking ahead, she came to an abrupt stop when a pair of jeans and two cowboy boots blocked her path and kicked the ball away.
She looked up, ready to curse at the source of the obstruction, but squealed in delight instead. “You’re back!” She jumped into Hank’s arms.
He smiled as she clung to his neck. “That’s quite a welcome. Does it also mean I can kiss you here?”
“You better.” She grinned before crushing her lips onto his. “God, I missed you,” Ali whispered between kisses, surprising herself with the blunt admission.
“I missed you, too,” Hank concurred after they’d separated. Putting a hand at the small of her back, he adeptly guided her out of the way of the approaching ball and continued gently pushing. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Now, that’s my kind of keeping busy!” Reese called out, giving her two thumbs up as she ran past, chuckling.
Ali waved her off with a laugh and slipped her hand into Hank’s as she matched her pace to his long strides. After they cut through the dining area and rushed through the lobby, her excited grin faded into awe when she opened her suite door.
“Did you do this?” she whispered, stepping inside and pointing first to the fairy lights hanging from the ceiling in the sitting area and then to the hundreds of red petals strewn across the carpet.
“Only if you like it.” Hank followed her before shutting the door. “I wanted candles, but Liz has a thing about open flames.”
“Of course I love it.” She turned to him enthusiastically, but something behind him caught her eye. “Ooh, what’s in here?”
Hurrying past him, Ali followed the path of roses into the bedroom, where orange flames enveloped the fake logs in the gas fireplace. More lights twinkled in the bathroom, and a bottle of champagne sat next to the deep tub full of steaming bubbles.
“This is insane.” Ali stared at the scene in disbelief.
Hank stopped directly behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Still liking it?” he whispered into her ear before his lips grazed her neck.
A chill ran through her and Ali closed her eyes. “It’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen,” she admitted.
He spun her around. “Then would you like to get in?” He paused before adding, “With me?”
She smiled at the notion that he would feel the need to clarify. “Uh-huh.” Nodding, Ali reached down and pulled her shirt over her head.
They stripped off their clothing and slipped into the hot water facing each other. She put her legs over Hank’s thighs to make the most use of the tight space. “You’ve lost a little weight.” She stroked his gaunt cheek with a wet hand.
“I’ve had a pretty horrid week, but it’s going much better now.” He smirked before reaching for the nearby bottle. “Champagne?”
It was an odd segue, but she rolled with it. “Yes, please.”
He filled a glass and handed it to her, returning the bottle to the ice.
“Aren’t you going to have any?” She frowned.
Hank shook his head. “I wish I could, but not right now. You go ahead, though.”
She hesitantly took a sip of the cold, bubbly liquid while watching the naked man stare back at her. When he subtly wet his lips, she gave him a coy smile. “Would you like a taste?”
He cocked his head and grinned. “What did you have in mind?”
Ali downed the rest of the glass and placed it on the floor outside the tub. Reaching for Hank’s neck, she drew him close and slipped her tongue into his mouth. He reacted just as fervently, grabbing her waist to get a sampling of the cool tanginess she was offering.
“This is wonderful, but you know, you didn’t have to go to all this trouble,” she whispered as he continued to nibble at her lower lip.
He shook his head. “No, I really did.” He pulled away and tucked a lock of hair that had fallen out of her messy bun behind her ear. “And I should probably tell you why I disappeared for three days.”
His posture had stiffened and she sensed that it wasn’t something easy to tell. Trying to defuse the tension, she smiled and stroked his arm. “It’s really none of my business.”
He looked into her eyes. “I want it to be your business.”
A flurry of anticipation ran through her, and she bit her lip to keep from saying something stupid and spoiling the moment. Instead, Ali took both of Hank’s hands in hers and squeezed to indicate her support.
He gave her a weak smile before starting. “I was in an accident last summer.” He paused and looked down, examining the slowly dissipating soap bubbles. “I was very, very lucky to even come out of it the way I did. Most of my injuries have healed, but I’ve had this condition called vertigo ever since.”
“Vertigo? That’s like dizziness, right?”
He nodded. “And occasional nausea, blurred vision, hearing problems.”
“Is there a cure?” She frowned, trying to imagine what he had been going through.
“That’s the thing.”
He let go of her hand and splashed water on his face. “I’ve tried lots of different treatments with varying degrees of success. Of course, the ones that work the best have the worst side effects, but none of them are cures. They all just temporarily relieve the symptoms.”
Ali leaned back. “But that’s good, right?”
“For some people, maybe.” He shrugged. “But I don’t want to just manage a chronic condition. I want my life back.”
So that’s why he’d been so guarded about his past. No matter what Hank had been doing before his accident, his world must have surely turned on its head afterward. “Of course. Who wouldn’t?”
“Yeah, but this isn’t like cancer or heart disease where potential breakthroughs could have global implications. Something that only affects like five percent of the population isn’t a top research priority.” The bitterness in his voice was palpable. “I was lucky to get into a clinical study with a doctor down in Houston a while back, though. His work with astronauts and the effects of zero-g environments on the body helped him come up with some amazing stuff.”
The pieces were starting to fall into place. “Is that why you were out of town?”
“Yeah. He’s testing a new drug and said my body could take a while to get used to it. After I took the first dose on Monday, I thought I was just having normal side effects. When I had to fly back to see him yesterday and he looked at my labs, he said I was lucky it didn’t kill me.”
“Oh, wow.” Ali sat up again and gave him a comforting hug. “Thank you for telling me. If there’s anything I can do—”
“No.” He pulled away. “I’m sorry, but it’s complicated.”
More complicated than what she’d just heard? Ali’s heart ached for what the incredible man in front of her was holding back. She wouldn’t press him for more, though. Not right now, anyway. By the look on his face, it was clear it had taken a lot for him to even tell her this much. With time, she was sure he’d reveal more.
Time. The thought made her frown. In a week, she would be getting ready to go back to New York. Time was one thing they didn’t have.
“Last weekend, you mentioned something about a party for your dad?” She remembered the final words from their last meeting.
“Oh, yeah.” He snapped out of the prior mood and smiled again. “It’s this Saturday night. You’re still coming, right?”
The assumption was surprisingly presumptuous considering she hadn’t given him the chance to properly ask yet. “Well, we never really talked about it,” she said.
He playfully covered her shoulder in bubbles. “I just assumed since Liz said you’d already picked out a dress.”
“She did, huh?” Apparently the siblings were close enough for such revelations. Hopefully she hadn’t alluded to the redecorating, but because Hank hadn’t mentioned it, Ali figured she must’ve not said anything. It also meant he didn’t even go home before he came to see her. “You know she set us up, right?”
“No, but that sounds like something my sister would do.” Hank washed the bubbles off before adding, “Which also means she shouldn’t have any problems with bringing you into the city on Saturday. I have some errands to take care of before the dinner, so I’ll just meet you there.”
She was a bit disappointed but respected his unspoken reasons. “All right.” Scooting forward again, she kissed him. “As long as you stay here tonight.”
He flashed his teeth in a large grin. “I thought you’d never ask.”
While the tub was romantic, it proved too small for any real intimacy. After wrapping themselves in thick, fluffy towels, they moved to the bed and made love in the soft glow of the fire. An increased familiarity replaced the uninhibited excitement of the first time, and the more relaxed pace allowed them to properly explore each other’s bodies. Ali discovered a birthmark shaped like Italy on Hank’s left hip she hadn’t noticed before, while he swore her earlobes were asymmetrical. She feigned offense but graciously allowed him to redeem himself. After he demonstrated that he could use his tongue for more than innocent kisses, she gladly returned the favor.
They fell asleep in each other’s arms, but when Ali woke the next morning, Hank was gone. She had only just gotten dressed when there was a knock at the door.
“My brother’s back,” Liz said with a sigh when Ali opened the door.
“I know.” Ali smiled. “I saw him last night.”
“No, I mean he’s back by the garage, and—well, you may want to talk to him.” She turned and walked away, not waiting for a response.
A knot formed in Ali’s stomach. Hurrying to the other side of the building, she stopped when she saw him unloading some familiar-looking furniture from the bed of his truck.
She took a deep breath. “I guess you didn’t like my idea,” she said.
He carried two wooden dining chairs into the garage before tossing them by the adjacent wall. “You shouldn’t have wasted your time.”
Ali moved closer. “I just wanted to make the place nicer for you.”
“I liked it just fine the way it was,” he grumbled as he walked by.
“But it felt like you were neither coming nor going.” She turned after him.
He looked over his shoulder. “Exactly.”
“What?”
He spun around and threw up his hands. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe I don’t want to be here?”
She remembered what he’d said about wanting to get his life to return to the way it was before the accident. “I’m sure it’s just a matter of time. If that doctor is as good as you say he is—”
“So I should just sit around and wait for a solution to be handed to me?” He raised his voice. “Right. Thanks. Like you’re the first one to suggest that.”
She crossed her arms. “What do you want me to say?”
“Nothing, Ali.” He looked down and kicked away a rock. “Don’t say anything, and don’t try to make my life into your version of perfection.”
“Excuse me?” She cocked her head and furrowed her brow.
“Haven’t you noticed?” He leaned against the truck. “You can’t handle it when things around you are less than ideal.”
She shook her head. She may have been a perfectionist according to Dr. Sacher, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t handle a little disorder in her life. “That’s not true.”
“No? You made one mistake—and honestly, falling off that horse can’t even be called a mistake but a plain old accident—and now you’re intentionally sabotaging getting better because you don’t want to fail again.”
“What are you talking about?” She walked to him and stopped just inches away. “I’m doing everything I can. Yes, I resisted at first and there were some hurdles, but I’m making progress. And the funny thing is, none of it probably even matters because I was just offered a promotion.”
Hank straightened up at the news. “What?”
“Yeah.” She bit her lip. This wasn’t how she’d wanted to let him know, but it was too late to take the words back. “The senior VP is ready to put me in charge of a new office in Seattle. I just have to officially accept.”
“Are you going to?”
She shrugged and touched his arm. “I don’t know yet.”
“Right.” He smirked.
Ali stepped back. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“I think you know.” He turned around and began unhooking a tether. “You’re just afraid to admit it to yourself.”
“So you’re now an expert on what goes on in my head?” She balled her fists, watching him fiddle with something inside the truck’s bed.
“Not an expert, but you’re fairly easy to read,” he called over his shoulder.
Ali gritted her teeth. “All right. What’s the answer, then?”
He faced her again. “You should turn down the offer.”
“Why would I do that?” Her eyes narrowed at the statement.
Hank stuck his hands in his pockets. “Because you hate your job.”
Her jaw dropped. “That’s so not true. I’ve worked very hard to get where I am, and I deserve that job.”
“Then why didn’t you say yes to this grand opportunity immediately?” He paused, but when she didn’t reply, he continued. “That’s right. Because deep down, you really don’t want it. You don’t want any of it. The only reason you’re doing that job is because your mother set you on the path years ago. And of course you couldn’t fail because then you wouldn’t be you, so you excelled and climbed the corporate ladder. But it doesn’t make you happy.”
“Oh, like you’re qualified to give advice on what makes people happy.” She gestured toward the scattered furniture. “You’re practically living out of a suitcase. If that isn’t an indication that you’re clinging to an unattainable past, then I don’t know what is.”
He scoffed. “You’re such a hypocrite!”
“How’s that?” She raised her chin defiantly.
“You’re the golden child who breezed through Yale, got a cushy job, and now rules the financial world. Surely nothing bad can happen. Well, guess what? It did and it could again. Maybe your only fault was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It doesn’t matter. You’re human, Ali. Accept it and move on. At least you have that option.” When she just stared at him, Hank shook his head and returned to the truck to remove a wooden table.
“You don’t have to haul everything away.” Her voice quivered as she held back tears. “I’ll call the movers—”
“Jesus, Ali!” Hank dropped the table onto its thin legs with a clank. “This isn’t about the fucking furniture.”
“Then what is it about?” She threw her arms up in exasperation. “Because you’re sure as hell not making any sense.”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Just forget it,” Hank whispered, looking up and stepping closer. “I’m sorry. I—I need to work some stuff out.” He sounded defeated, and Ali allowed him to hold her in spite of knowing his argument—even if it was born from exhaustion and frustration over his own illness—wouldn’t easily leave her.
