by Amy Cross
There's a pause as Nurse Winter stares blankly at me. "I'm not sure I understand," she says eventually.
"EMB-57," I say. "It's a radio channel. I've been tracking it for a long time, and I've finally found where it's being broadcast from. It's being broadcast from here". I stare at her, trying to work out if her blank reaction is genuine. "I don't think it's a coincidence," I continue, "that Annie and that signal are both here. I don't believe in coincidences, not when it comes to science. So I'm here for two reasons, really. First, to find out what EMB-57 is really about, and second to see Annie".
"Are you aware of how a hospital like Lakehurst works?" Nurse Winter says. "Our patients are cared for with great professionalism. They're each on specific programs, and one can't just interrupt those programs and allow a visitor to storm in". She pauses for a moment. "However, you're in luck. Annie is at a point in her treatment that means she can receive a visitor. In fact, it might even be beneficial for her to interact with someone from the outside world".
"When can I see her?" I ask.
She smiles. "Right now".
Jerry
"Today feels weird," I say as I run one of my fingers across Nurse Perry's bare left breast, circling the nipple. We've been in my bed for less than half an hour and we're already finished. That's how it is when we get together: fast and quick and good. I can't deny that part of the thrill comes from the fact that we're doing this behind Nurse Winter's back. In fact, these moments of after-play seem as furtive as the sex itself. "Do you know what I mean?" I continue. "It's like something's not right, like there's a disturbance". I smile. "A disturbance in the force".
"Annie Radford has a visitor," she replies, smiling at me. "So that might be it". No matter how happy she tries to look, there's always a great sadness behind her eyes, like she knows she's supposed to be happy but she can't bring herself to actually feel the right emotions. Sometimes I wonder if she's seen how all of this ends, as if she somehow knows what's going to happen to all of us but she's powerless to do anything about it.
"A visitor, huh?" I say, pausing for a moment. "I didn't think anyone was allowed to have a visitor. Especially her". Annie Radford's presence at Lakehurst is top secret. "No offense," I continue, "but who the hell would want to visit her? I can't imagine Mommy and Daddy are keen to pop in for a chat, not after what she did to her brother".
She shrugs. "I've given up trying to understand how things work around here. Since Kirsten took over, it's been like... something's changed. Things that were kept buried are starting to come out into the open".
"Fine," she replies, sounding a little annoyed. She hates talking about her eye. Ever since the accident, she's avoided the subject completely, but it's remarkable how quickly the injury has healed. Despite his past, it seems Dr. Langheim's work has managed to produce some discoveries that can be used to help, as well as hurt, the people of Lakehurst. I bet the old bastard, sitting alone in the attic, would hate to think that he's actually improving the lives of people down here, especially a woman like Nurse Perry. After all, she's half-Jewish. "Do you ever think about what you'll do when you've left Lakehurst?" she asks suddenly.
"Left Lakehurst?" I say, as if the idea is insane. "I don't know, I guess... I guess I never even thought I would leave Lakehurst". It's true. I was born here, to a woman who was a patient. I have no idea who my father was, but I was raised by the doctors and eventually I grew up and was put to work in the basement. I've never even left the hospital grounds, and I've only seen the outside world in a few photos. In fact, the thought of leaving is kind of scary. "I guess I figure that one day the place will burn down and I'll burn with it," I say after a moment. "Doesn't that seem poetic to you?"
"It sounds stupid," she replies. "You should get out of here one day, Jerry. I mean it. A guy like you could make a real splash in the world. You don't need to be cooped up here". She pauses for a moment. "Promise me that one day you'll get out of here and go fulfill your potential, yeah?"
"I promise," I say, reaching down and slipping a finger between her legs, "but haven't you noticed something?"
"What?" she asks, grinning.
I lean closer and whisper in her ear. "I'm playing with your pussy here, and you're still talking about big, deep things like the future and the world and shit like that".
"I know you're playing with my pussy," she says, smiling, "but just for once, I'd like you to see me as more than just a sexual object". I can see from the look on her face that she's not being entirely serious. "I don't want to just be used for my body, you know".
"I know," I reply.
She stares at me for a moment. "I'll only fuck you again if you promise that one day you'll get out of here".
"I promise," I say.
"Swear to God?"
I nod.
She laughs. "It's important," she says. "I like you, Jerry, and I don't want you to rot here, not like the rest of us. One day it'll be too late, and there'll be nothing left for you to do". The expression on her face changes, as sadness returns to her eyes. "Kirsten will crush you if you let her. She doesn't show mercy. She just uses people. You know that, right? You can't trust her. Not for a second".
"The way you're talking," I say, dipping my finger deeper and deeper into her wetness, "you make it sound like we're all running out of time. Relax, we'll still be here tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. We're still young. Both of us. If I'm gonna get away from here one day, you should come with me".
"I don't know if I can," she replies.
"Why not?" I ask, slipping my finger all the way into her before sliding it out again and starting to massage her clitoris. "Why are you doomed to stay here forever, but I'm supposed to go exploring the world?"
"It's complicated," she says, turning her body toward me.
"You might be right," I reply.
She pauses for a moment. "If you keep doing what you're doing," she continues, "you're going to make me a very happy girl". She leans over and kisses me gently on the lips.
For the next few minutes, I focus on pleasuring her. She deserves it. We kiss as I gently massage her pussy, and finally she reaches orgasm, gasping as she puts an arm around me and holds my body tight against hers. With my one spare hand, I reach over to my bedside table, open the drawer, and pull out a syringe. I flick the cap off before sinking the needle into her shoulder and injecting her.
"What are you doing?" she asks, pulling away. I can see the look of panic in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," I say, throwing the syringe aside.
"What was that?" she says, panicking. She tries to sit up, but she's already getting weak. Her eyes are starting to lose focus, and she can't control her limbs properly.
"I thought it'd work faster," I say. "Sorry. I thought you'd just kind of fall asleep and never realize what happened. Just wait a moment".
"What are you doing to me?" she asks, her voice starting to slur. "Jerry..."
"It'll be okay," I say. "It'll all be okay. I'm just taking you to the basement for some special treatment".
"I don't want to die," she says, trying to move away. "Don't kill me, Jerry. I don't want to die". She tries to roll away from me, but finally she passes out and I'm left staring at her, with one finger still inside her vagina.
"Sorry," I say, although I admit my apology sounds hollow. I look over at the clock by my bed and see that it's still not too late. I can get this done by tonight, which means I'm ahead of schedule. After all, Nurse Kirsten Winter isn't the only person at Lakehurst who's got some experiments to conduct. I'm allowed a little work on the side, aren't I? Especially if I've been working on this project for most of my life. Tonight I'm going to use Nurse Perry's body to conduct one of the most ground-breaking experiments in human history. I'm going to give her the same kind of 'special treatment' that the others have received, but I'm going to take it one step further. I'm going to bring my mother back to life.
Kieran Evans
I've been sitting in this blank,
empty white room for almost half an hour, waiting for someone to bring Annie through. With almost no furniture, this is more like an interrogation chamber than a visitors' room. I was told there'd be a short delay because she was about to have a meal, but now I'm starting to wonder if they have other reasons for keeping me waiting. I've heard stories about the treatment methods used at Lakehurst. Is it possible that they need time to clean Annie up and make her presentable? Then again, if that's the case, why didn't Nurse Winter just turn me away and deny me the chance to visit at all? She certainly could have been far more obstructive.
Eventually the door opens and a large man walks in. He's clearly a guard, and he towers over me like a bear stuffed into a uniform. "Before you can see the patient," he says with a bored tone, "I'll need to check you for any concealed items. Stand up and spread your arms out".
"My pleasure," I say, stifling a sigh as I get to my feet and do what I'm told. The guard pats me down roughly, making sure to do a thorough job. It's pretty clear this is an attempt to intimidate me.
"Do you object to being scanned for metal objects?" the guard asks, with obvious contempt in his voice. I can't help thinking that he's hoping I'll make a fuss and give him an excuse to throw me out.
"Will I be able to see Annie if I decline?" I ask.
"Absolutely not," he replies.
"Go ahead". I wait as he runs a hand-held scanner over my body, but it doesn't pick anything up. After a moment, the guard goes back to the door and gives a signal to someone, and Annie is finally led in.
"Hey," I say, shocked to see how pale and weak she looks. For a moment, it occurs to me that they've accidentally brought the wrong person, or that they're trying to trick me by sending someone else. But then I look at her eyes and I can see it's definitely her. She's lost a lot of weight, looking almost like a skeleton, and her skin seems white and thin. The way she walks is kind of zombie-like, as if she's barely able to do any more than shuffle around. I was expecting her to be different to the last time I saw her, but this is shocking. She seems unable to even look at me. It's like they've broken her spirit completely.
The guard gestures for Annie to sit down, which she does obediently. Walking over to a chair in the corner, the guard takes a seat and stares straight at me.
"Seriously?" I say after a pause. "I'm not allowed to be alone with her?"
The guard just stares at me.
Turning to Annie, I find it hard to work out what to say. It hadn't occurred to me that there'd be someone else in the room like this, and it's hard to ignore the fact that the guy has his eyes constantly fixed on me. "How are you doing?" I ask Annie eventually, just to get the conversation started.
She stares down at the floor. I don't know if she even recognizes me, or if she's capable of recognizing anyone. She looks like she's been through some pretty traumatic treatment. There's something disturbingly old-fashioned about Lakehurst, which makes me wonder if they're into some of the darker stuff like electric shock therapy.
"It's Kieran," I say, hoping to jog her memory. "Do you remember meeting me before?"
No response.
"It was back when you lived with your -" I pause. Maybe that's not something I should bring up. "We spent a night by the lake," I continue. "Under the stars -"
The guard sniffs with laughter.
"We spent a night by the lake," I continue, keeping my focus on Annie. "We talked about a lot of stuff. Your life, my research. Do you remember?"
Still nothing.
"We talked about the radio transmissions I was tracking," I say, glancing over at the guard to see if he shows any sign of a reaction. After all, I'm not only here to see Annie; I'm also here on some private business, and I need to be careful when I show my hand. "Do you remember all that stuff we talked about, Annie?" I continue. "And then in the morning, I went to get some readings, and when I got back you were gone, and then I came to your window?"
She just keeps staring down at the table.
"It was quite a night," I say. "I wanted to see you again, but... things didn't work out that way". I sigh, realizing that this is getting nowhere. Time to try a different approach. "Then you went home and shot your brother in the head. Do you remember that, Annie?"
She still doesn't look at me, but I can see a flicker of recognition in her eyes. It's as if she can hear me, but she doesn't want to acknowledge anything I'm saying. I can't help wondering if the guard might be scaring her. If I could just get her alone, she might open up, but that's a forlorn hope. I need to come up with another strategy.
"The reason I came to see you," I say, "is that I've been doing some more research work, and I unexpectedly hit on something that I think might be useful to your defense". I take a deep breath, aware that I'm giving away more than I'd planned at this stage. I'm quite certain that everything I say is going to be relayed directly back to the people in charge of this facility, thanks to the ever-present guard; besides, this room probably has hidden microphones. "It's too complicated to go into the details," I continue, "but there's definitely some room for argument. I just wanted you to know that... Well, it occurred to me that you might have been wondering why you shot your brother, and I think maybe I can answer that question for you".
"Time's up," the guard says suddenly, standing up and staring at me with an expression that lets me know it would be useless to argue.
"I'll keep in touch, Annie," I say, as she gets to her feet and turns to follow the guard out. She still hasn't made eye contact with me since I arrived. All I need is one look, one flicker of recognition so that I know the real Annie Radford is still in there somewhere, but there's nothing. It's almost as if someone has switched off her mind and left her as a mindless body that just goes where it's told.
"Wait here," the guard says to me as he and Annie head out the door.
Moments later, Nurse Winter arrives, flashing me a fake smile. "Mr. Evans," she says, "I hope your visit wasn't too much of a disappointment?"
I walk over to join her at the door. "I've got to admit," I reply, "she doesn't seem quite herself".
"Unfortunately that's a common side effect of any psychiatric treatment," she says, leading me out into the corridor and along toward the main part of the building. "It's one of the reasons we discourage visits, since it can be distressing to see a loved one in such a difficult condition".
"What kind of treatment have you been giving her?" I ask.
"We've used a variety of different methods," she continues. I get the feeling she's rehearsed this conversation very carefully, and she knows exactly what she's going to say to all my questions. "Mainly pharmaceutical, but with some group therapy techniques thrown in. It's very much a diagnostic process, exposing the patient to different alternatives and employing regular diagnostic sessions to determine a future course of action".
"I've read you use experimental techniques," I say as we reach the front door. "Some people say -"
"There are a lot of people with opinions about Lakehurst," she says, interrupting me. "None of them have actually been here and seen our work for themselves. Opinions are best left to professionals with relevant experience. We have half a dozen of the world's finest doctors working here, and they're all completely happy with our procedures".
"And Dr. Langheim?" I ask.
There's a flicker of emotion in her eyes. "Who?" she asks.
"He was a scientist in Germany during the Nazi era," I say. "One of the few who got away after the war and were never found. He'd be more than a hundred years old by now. Most people assume he went to South America and eventually died, but I found one website that suggested he'd come to Lakehurst to continue his work".
She smiles. "I'm sure that if we were harboring a Nazi war criminal, he'd have been uncovered by now, Mr. Evans. This Dr. Langheim individual has no connection to Lakehurst and, as far as I'm aware, he's never been here. I'd caution you to be careful when reading websites. Anyone can write anything and make it seem very persuasive, but the reality of life is usu
ally far more mundane". She pauses. "There are no Nazi scientists at Lakehurst. You have my word on that".
I shrug. "Sure," I say, opening the door and stepping outside. "I mean, it'd be pretty sensational, wouldn't it? Not to mention dangerous".
"Dangerous?" she asks.
"If Lakehurst was allowing someone like Dr. Langheim to continue his experiments, using patients as subjects".
She pauses for a moment. "That would be monstrous," she says. "Too horrible to even consider. We're just a normal hospital, working hard to improve the lives of all our patients, including your friend Ms. Radford. It's my greatest hope that we're able to help her, so that perhaps one day she can return to society".
"Has that ever happened?" I ask. "Has anyone ever been released after spending time at Lakehurst? I searched various files and I couldn't find any examples".
"People leave Lakehurst when they're ready," she replies. "Our greatest concern is our patients' welfare. Speaking of which, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do. I hope your journey home is comfortable and that your visit hasn't been too much of a disappointment".
"Thank you for your hospitality," I say, turning and walking back toward my car. Hearing the door close behind me, I can't help wondering what the real deal is with Lakehurst. This place is clearly hiding a secret, and I've got a strange feeling that at least some of the conspiracy theories might be true. There's something going on at Lakehurst, something that has priorities other than the health of the patients, and I'm going to find out what it is.
Jerry
Once I've got her body down to the basement and laid out on the operating table, I start to wonder whether killing Nurse Perry like this is a good move. After all, I could use anyone's body, but hers is the most convenient. I guess I'm probably worrying too much. For one thing, she might not even die, not if everything goes well. For another, she's already died so many times, she's living on borrowed time. She was one of the subjects of Dr. Langheim's early experiments, which gave her remarkable regenerative abilities. No matter how much punishment she takes, she manages to heal quickly, and these regenerative qualities might be useful for the project. So she's the one who must be used, even if I'll miss her once she's gone.
