by Debra Kayn
Chapter 7
The Astoria Column stood one hundred and twenty-five feet in the air above Lena's head. She peered up at the pictures of the Native Americans, the scenes from Lewis and Clark's expedition, and the history of Oregon mural that went all the way around and to the top. In a little over an hour, Thad had taken her to one of the most popular monuments in the state that she'd only heard about and never been before.
"Do you want to go up?" asked Thad.
"Can we?" She peered around the parking area. "There's nobody here."
"Tourist season is over, kids are in school, and most people are staying closer to the water." He picked up her hand and walked her around the base of the column.
The door propped open for those who want to climb the stairs, he entered through the narrow opening, stepped back, and let Lena walk in front of him on the winding stairs to the top. She looked over her shoulder and smiled. Already, he'd moved right up to the top of her best dates ever list.
Thad's boots echoed in the narrow, steep structure. She concentrated on putting one foot in front in front of the other, tightly turning in a spiral circle with each step. Halfway up, her thighs warmed from exertion.
"It's really high." She stopped and peered down, then up. "The sign said there are one-hundred and sixty-four steps to the top."
"The view is worth the climb." He patted her butt. "Keep going."
She continued but glanced behind her. Ever since they'd first stopped outside of St. John's, Thad hadn't said more than a few sentences. Granted, it was hard to communicate while riding a motorcycle. She hurried up the steps until she was a good pace ahead of him and could see him out of the corner of her vision as they circled the stairway. Maybe he was hurting.
He walked kind of funny. Stiff. Deliberate. Not his usual laidback style she'd admired when she first met him.
At the top of the column, she stopped at the open doorway and grabbed his hand, walking with him out onto the circular balcony built at the top. She gasped and shielded her eyes against the brightness of the overcast sky and viewed the water in the distance.
"Is that the ocean?" she asked.
"No, that's the river." He moved behind her, planting his hands on her hips, and guided her to the left. "That's the ocean."
The tree line off the coastal mountain merged with the salt water. She followed the water with her gaze until it disappeared into the horizon. She sighed at the beauty of something so wild and huge being contained by land and leaned back against his chest. "It's gorgeous."
His arms came around her, and he lowered his head to her ear. "You're gorgeous," he whispered, kissing her neck.
"Thad?" She swallowed hard as pleasure warmed her body and her nipples peaked. There were important things she needed to figure out before she lost control of her thoughts and let her body override her common sense. "Did something happen on the ride here? I feel like something is going on, and you stopped...I don't know, you acted as if you really didn't want to go for a ride with me after all."
His breath warmed her ear. "Didn't change my mind."
"Then, what are you thinking?" She brought her hands up and laid them over his as he held her.
His head came away, but his arms tightened before he exhaled. "If you push your ass back another inch, you'll see what's bothering me."
She moved to see him better, and he kept her from turning around to face him. What was he talking about? If she...? Her ass?
Her heart raced as her cognitive skills kicked in. He was telling her that he was hard?
That the ride turned him on?
That being around her was difficult?
That he'd been miserable and uncomfortable for the last hour and a half because of her?
A slow smile grew on her face. Amusement built up inside of her and came out as quakes of silent laughter.
"All right, that's enough." He growled in her ear. "This is your damn fault making me go without sex."
"My fault?" Her laughter escaped. "I only required a date, Thad? Not six weeks of celibacy. You could've taken care of the problem after I left last night or this morning before you came to my house."
He kissed her cheek with a loud smack. "You're crazy, woman. I'm not wasting what I'm feeling, what you're making me feel, jerking off with my hand when all I can think about is giving it to you."
"Oh, wow," she whispered, or maybe she thought it. He'd shocked her, and she couldn't think.
Sure, she'd heard worse. At least twice a week she'd receive a call at the dispatch center. While not vulgar or meant to stimulate, the crudeness and verbal abuse would freak out a normal person. It was part of her job. People seeking attention no longer phased her.
Thad wasn't like other people.
Every man, every experience, every spontaneous flirting game from her past told her to laugh off Thad's attempt to seduce her. That he was a biker and would say anything to get in her bed.
But, she had a deep feeling he was only speaking the truth. He had no filter and played no games. His honesty was not only refreshing but scary because he voiced how she was feeling toward him. And, she wasn't ready to say the words that she wanted him because for her, to do so, she needed to know he could respect her for her differences.
Thad was going to think she'd lost her mind because she was one huge contradiction.
He crossed his arms over her chest and straightened. "Listen, Lena. I'm rolling with this. I don't know where I'm going or where you expect me to go. I don't know shit about dating a woman, but I'm in. If you need more time with me, I'll make time."
"Why?"
"Because you fascinate me."
Good answer. She turned around in his arms and placed her hands on his chest. Opening her mouth, she was going to tell him. Then, she feared losing her chance with him and shut her mouth.
"What?" he said.
She pinched her lips together. There were men in the past who left because they couldn't handle her rules. Others who stuck around but distanced themselves from an emotional relationship with her and kept seeing her for sex. Until, feelings changed on the men's part, and she stopped seeing them.
"Remember last night when I told you it's always my fault when relationships end?" She moistened her lips.
"Yeah," he said.
"I'm not easy." She peeked up at him, knowing he was lost on where she was going with the conversation. "The whole purpose of life and having a relationship is to work toward having a family. You get married, you have kids, you create this little world around you, and no matter what, you're stuck. Your world can be the best there is, and you'll feel lucky. But, if that world sucks, it will stick with you until the day that you die. Because of that, I don't even want any kind of commitment from you, except that you'll only have sex with me if we're sleeping together."
He puffed up his cheeks and blew the air out above her head, looking off into the distance. "And, you expect me to be okay with you having sex with whatever dick grabs your attention?"
She patted his chest to bring his gaze back down to her. "No. I said I wasn't easy, and I mean it. If we have a relationship with sex, I will only be with you. You just need to know that I enjoy the moments, the days, and I don't want a future with you or anyone."
He let go of her, walked a few feet away, and leaned his forearms against the railing. She stayed away, giving him time to comprehend her rules. He needed to understand that she wanted intimacy but she needed an out in case he started feeling more for her than she was willing to give him in return.
She held on to the railing looking at him. "Thad?"
He nodded and straightened his fingers on his right hand for her to stop. She squeezed her eyes closed. She understood why he couldn't accept the conditions.
She opened her eyes again. He stood closer to her. She looked up at him hoping he would tell her he was okay with her demands. That she was worth it.
"We should get going. I'll take you home." He stepped around her and led the way down the monument.<
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Her unadulterated joy over spending the day with him ended in disappointment.
Chapter 8
During break time at Port Loaders, Chuck tossed a wrapped sandwich to Thad. He looked at the offered lunch. "What's this for?"
"It's from Gracie." Chuck peeled back the Saran wrap and bit into the sandwich. "I escorted her to the bar before work, and she made me lunch and gave me an extra and told me to give it to you. So, I gave it to you."
"What the hell was she doing there at five o'clock in the morning?" Wayne pulled out his phone. "Clara never mentioned her sister going to the bar by herself."
"She wasn't by herself. I took her." Chuck chewed and swallowed. "She didn't want to call your house and wake up Clara or you."
Wayne frowned at the screen of his phone. "Apparently, Gracie wanted to work on the books at the bar instead of at home. Clara's with her now. She's fine."
"Talk about overbearing. I don't know how Clara or Gracie stand you." Chucked grinned and quickly sobered. "Give Gracie some space. She's a smart woman."
"That's an improvement from how she's been holding herself back. I didn't think she would go there when the bar was closed unless someone was with her." Glen lifted a can of pop to his lips and tipped back his head.
"Jesus Christ, do none of you listen? I said I was with her." Chuck wiped the mayo on his finger off on his jeans. "What's the confusion? Every single one of us has wanted Gracie to gain back her independence and feel safe after she was kidnapped. She took a step forward, and all of you want to swoop in and save her. She needs to do shit by herself."
Wayne lifted his brows and looked at Thad. He shrugged and said, "Chuck has a point."
After Gracie was kidnapped and abused, she'd become someone different. No one could blame her. They'd all feared the worst and were lucky to find her in time to save her life. Maybe they catered to her need to hide away from the world for too long, but they could've lost her. Going somewhere, especially by herself, was a huge step in the right direction.
"Wait a fucking second," muttered Wayne. "What were you doing with Gracie so early in the morning?"
Chuck ran his hand over his shaved head. "She watched the news last night about the shooting in Portland."
"The Tigre gang one?" asked Wayne.
Chuck nodded. "She couldn't go to sleep, and when I checked in on her before I headed home, she seemed to be having a hard time. So, I slept on her couch."
Glen cleared his throat, distracting the attention off Chuck and his questionable relationship with Gracie before Wayne lost his temper and opened a bag full of peanut butter cookies. "How's the search to find more information on our drifter, Chuck?"
"Dead end." Chuck held out his hand for a cookie.
"There's never a dead end unless we find the person." Thad finished the last bite of the turkey sandwich. "Let's start fresh. Go back to where she was last seen by the brother who hired us, and we'll follow the trail."
"It was a long time ago." Wayne texted on his phone. "I should never have agreed to take the case. It's a waste of time."
"We've got nothing better to do." Thad walked over, threw the wrapper in the garbage can, and stood at the railing of the ship. "There's no loss if we don't find her. It's a drifter case. She left under her own power."
"Hey, how did your date go? Since you're going out with a regular lady..." Chuck laughed. "Did you remember flowers?"
Thad shot a glare at Chuck. "Who did you hear that from?"
He hadn't told them where he was going or who he was with yesterday. After dropping off Lena, he'd gone straight home and hit the sack.
"Ingrid mentioned she seen you heading over the bridge with a woman on the back of your bike when she was coming home from the grocery store yesterday." Glen took a toothpick out of his pocket and put it in his mouth.
Wayne said, "Clara also told me you had a nice woman with you at the bar. Nice, meaning, she ain't one of Chuck's bitches."
"Who is she?" said Chuck. "I want to check her out."
"Doesn't matter. She's out of the picture." He looked down on the dock from the bridge of the ship as the others talked about work.
Usually, his days putting the new dealer vehicles on cargo ships went by fast. Today seemed to drag. First, there was a problem with a load of cars coming in and cries were going out at a crawl. Then, he had to listen to every fucking party recap his coworkers went to over the weekend, or they were all bitching about their wife. All he wanted to do was keep his mind off Lena and her ridiculous rules for dating her, and it seemed like everyone around him was throwing a woman in his face, reminding him of the shit Lena threw at him. He blew out his breath. And, he was finding himself unable to let a woman go who wanted nothing more from him than sex.
The more he thought about her, the angrier he became. He pulled out his phone, scrolled through his contacts, and shut the damn thing down. He'd forgotten to get her phone number. His dick had led the way to her. He'd mowed her lawn, taken her on a day ride, and left her safely in her house.
"Bro?" Wayne stepped up beside him and leaned against the railing. "Are you up for a ride down to Eugene on Saturday?"
"Yeah." Thad straightened. "Sounds good."
Anything to keep busy.
The air horn blasted. Wayne slapped his hand down on Thad's shoulder. "Half the day is done."
"Thank fuck for that." Thad stepped away.
"Hey." Wayne frowned. "What's going on with you."
"Women. Or, a woman." He exhaled harshly. "Have you ever met one who told you straight up she wasn't looking to get married or have kids and only wanted sex?"
Wayne laughed. "That's the only type of women that you and Chuck see. What are you complaining about?"
Irritated, because if Lena would've had sex with him the first night they were together, he wouldn't have thought twice about her rules. But, she'd played him along and had him thinking about dating her. The more time he'd spent with her, he was more than willing to put his boots beside her bed.
"It's messed up, man." Thad walked off in the opposite direction.
Lena had started him believing she was different. The women he slept with came to him for sex. But, he wasn't stupid. They all secretly wanted marriage, kids, and to wear his colors. It wasn't his fucking ego talking. It was the natural desires all females wanted. It was what all of them wanted, especially if they were over the age of thirty.
He always made sure they couldn’t trap and tie him down.
Until Lena, not one of the women had ever grabbed him by the vest and made it worth the climb to keep her. Lena provided him with enough temptations to have him seeking her out again. Even after how they ended it last night, he still fucking wanted her. He wanted to know more about her. He wanted to know why she cock blocked him. He wanted to change her damn mind.
Chapter 9
"Lena?" Dawn, Lena's swing-shift replacement dispatcher, took off her headset. "Lieutenant Gomez radioed in, and he wants to meet you in the parking lot on your way out."
"My shift just ended." She closed her desk drawer and stood. "Why would he want to meet me outside?"
"No clue." Dawn slipped the headset back on her head. "Maybe the man is going to ask you out for coffee or drinks or try to con you into buying gift wrap his son is selling for his peewee basketball team. He got me to buy into forty dollars' worth of paper with poinsettias on them. Like, I'm seventy years old and giving away butter cookies in a tin can."
Lena laughed. "Sucker."
"All I'm saying is stay strong. That man can sweet talk anyone." Dawn pushed the button on the wire at her hip and directed her attention to the emergency call coming in.
Lena carried her coat and purse out of the room and cut through the police department to leave the building. At the door, she hesitated. There were police lights flashing in the parking lot. At least once a month, an emergency happened in view of the station. People would drive for help, instead of calling 911, or a domestic situation got out of hand, and th
e female would arrive seeking refuge because it wasn't safe to use the phone at home.
She pushed through the door and dug through her purse for her keys. Scanning the area, she looked for the lieutenant. Her training was strictly about handling emergency communication between police, fire and rescue, and ambulance service, not working hand in hand with the police or fire department at a scene. Not knowing why she'd be needed outside, she skirted the parking lot automatically heading toward her car—which seemed to be in the area with the commotion.
Lieutenant Gomez walked out of the flashing blue and red lights toward her. The seriousness and concern etched on his face stopped her from getting closer.
"Hey, Lena." Lieutenant Gomez guided her back onto the sidewalk, turning her away from the activity. "Officer Johnson pulled into the lot and noticed something strange on your car."
"Ugh, don't tell me someone backed into my car," she said. "I've only had it nine months."
"Fortunately, your car is fine. Normally, we wouldn't give this any thought if it happened to a patrol car or a detective's vehicle. Retaliation is a part of the job, and usually, a sign like this is part of an initiation into one of the gangs in the area. Damn kids challenge each other to get close and person with law enforcement without getting caught." Lieutenant Gomez mouth tightened. "But, Detective Mooney mentioned you received an untraceable threat by text, and that concerns me after finding a bandana on your car."
Detective Mooney had agreed with her that it was probably a wrong number or a friend drunk texting someone else. She turned around and looked at her car. Squinting her eyes, she studied the three officers standing close. Nothing stood out as alarming.
"Exactly what happened to my car?" She turned back to Lieutenant Gomez. "I'm not following you."
"A blue bandana was tied to your driver's side mirror," said Lieutenant Gomez.
"And...?" She shook her head. "Did you want me to put it in Lost and Found?"
