by Debra Kayn
Lena met Thad at the door naked. No barriers. No clothes. No blank expression leaving him guessing what she was thinking. She stared up into his eyes with the most intense need that grabbed him by the balls and pulled him into the house.
He shut and locked the door, then dragged her against his body, capturing her lips. Her hands landed on each side of his head. He groaned into her mouth in approval as he stroked her with his tongue like a man lapping at a spoonful of homemade S'mores ice cream, savoring the sweetness.
Lena rubbed her thigh against the outside of his leg. He pulled his head back, "Your burn?"
"Is healed." She pulled him down, latching back on to him, stealing his breath.
He cupped her ass and dragged her through the house, needing a flat surface, needing something soft against her back because he planned to pound himself inside of her and remind her that together, they both had the best thing that life offered.
At the door to her room, she closed her lips and pulled away. "We need to talk."
"Later." He slipped his tongue back into her mouth.
Eyeing the bed, he hitched her higher and careened them both toward the mattress. He landed on top of her, cushioning his weight on his elbows. Their kiss broke, and he moved down her body. A smooch on her neck. A lick between her breasts. A circle and a long, drawn suck on each of her nipples until the beads tightened and elongated against his tongue. He needed to be inside of her.
"Thad?" She groaned, thrusting her pelvis against him.
He rubbed his face against her stomach, inhaling deeply. She always had the sweetest scent as if she'd crawled out of bed all warm and limber.
Spreading her legs, he slid off the mattress and kneeled on the floor, lowering his mouth to her pussy. Her body quivered, and he slipped his hands under her ass and held her still.
"Oh, God." She panted. "Thad...we need to talk..."
"Uh huh," he murmured against her, molding his lips around her clit. Whatever they needed to do could wait, because what he was doing was pleasing him, and going by how her body reacted, she was riding high.
Lena's thighs tightened on his head. He lifted her lower body and stroked the small nub. Her arousal warmed his mouth, and he flicked the tip of his tongue bringing out a moan from her. Determined to bring her to orgasm, he loved on her pussy, taking in her rapid breathing, the low mews, the frantic fingers digging into his hair trying to keep him going.
He wasn't stopping.
He couldn't stop.
"Yes..." Lena gasped, held her breath, and exhaled on a shudder.
He continued licking her lightly, bringing her down and keeping her warm. When her ass relaxed, he straightened and wiped his face on his jacket. He needed out of his clothes. Now.
Unable to wait until he'd stripped down, he dug a condom out of his wallet, unbuckled his belt, and whipped his jeans down to his hips. Covering himself with protection, he planted his knee on the bed and slid between her legs.
She gave a startled squeak of surprise as he thrust into her and then laughed softly, cupping his face in her hands. He stroked her with his cock. That surprise was how she always reacted when he slid home inside of her. As if their coming together blew her away.
Lena slid her hands down his body and under his shirt. Her palms on his stomach touched his fucking sweet spot and bucked him over the edge. He pounded into her and exploded, holding himself deep in her pussy.
A shudder ran down his spine, settling between his legs and he lowered himself to his elbows. Lena's body, once soft and comforting, stiffened, and then shook. He shifted, looking at her face all scrunched up in pain.
He rolled off her and pulled her to his chest. She only shook harder.
"What the hell, babe?" he whispered, rubbing her back. "Did I hurt you?"
She shook her head against his chest.
He pulled her away from him and sat up to see her better in the dim lamplight by the bed. "Are you crying?"
"I don't know what is wrong with me." She sniffed and dragged the blanket up over her body, wrapping herself like a mummy. "I do know. But, Thad, I..." She rubbed her face on the blanket. "I was going to talk to you tomorrow because I just needed tonight to be by myself and then, you came to the house, and you kissed me. Remember?"
"Yeah, babe, I remember." He hooked her waist and pulled her and the blanket to him. Every second away from her, he'd thought of nothing else but her. Hell, he hadn't even been able to ride away without calling her, hoping she'd tell him to come back. When she let him go, he'd gone home and stretched out on the couch, still dressed, because he couldn't face going to the bed he'd shared with Lena. When she'd called, he couldn't get to her fast enough.
"What did you need to tell me."
She lifted her gaze. "I changed my mind."
"You didn't want me to come over?"
"God, no. I want you here." She blew out her lips. "About us."
"You changed your mind again about wanting to be with me?"
"No. Stop asking me questions. I can't think." She leaned forward into a tighter ball. "This isn't about you. It isn't about me. It's about us. I want to be with you."
"You are with me."
"I can't do this when you talk and keep interrupting me." She threw off the blanket, rolled off the bed, and marched to the closet.
He looked down at his dick. "Shit."
The used condom hung off him, threatening to get on the bed. He pinched the latex between his fingers and walked to her bathroom. After cleaning himself with a towel, he hitched up his jeans and buckled them. He had to be at work in a couple of hours, and he came right over without packing his duffle.
Returning to the bedroom, he found Lena fully dressed, except for her bare feet. He stood on the edge of the room. Usually, if she had something on her mind, she spits it out. Unless what was bothering her meant something to her, and she clammed up. Her damn independence and how she was treated in the past made it almost impossible for her to talk. She felt more comfortable walking away. He wanted her to stop walking.
She turned to him. "Okay, don't say anything until I'm finished."
He nodded.
"Okay. Good." She shoved her hands into her hair, sweeping it atop her head and twisting her hands before lowering them while her hair mysteriously stayed up. "I've never done this before, but I want to try being with you. You know that, right? We talked after you learned about...my family. We're good with us, right?"
He opened his mouth to agree, and she pointed her finger, stopping him.
"You wanted a normal relationship at the beginning after we had a couple of dates." She rubbed her hands together. "Boyfriend, girlfriend, exclusive, and full of hope that we're it for each other."
He held back his grin and crossed his arms, ready to hear more about how she wanted a future with him when she was dead set against it before.
"Thaddeus." She raised her brows.
His grin broke through. She could call him whatever she wanted as long as she did it while being his woman.
"Now would probably be a good time to say something," she said.
Unable to contain how happy he was that she'd progressed this far that she'd been able to tell him that she loved him and changed her mind about what kind of relationship she desired, there was only one way to express how he was feeling. "I’m going to love you."
Her shoulders sagged forward, and her eyes welled up with tears. She stepped toward him and stopped within a foot of her. "I have something else to tell you, but you have to remember what we just discussed, okay?"
He cupped her cheek. "Say it."
"I don't want you to be upset."
He bent his knees, going eye to eye with her. "You trust me to love you?"
"Yeah." She stared a hole in his chest. "This is big, or it could be big, and I don't know how you're going to take what I have to say. I don't even know how I feel about it if it's true. It's not something I planned. I'm not sure how it even happened, except that you're Thad Bowers, Notus
Motorcycle Club member, and when you want something, you get it, and I've never figured out how you do that."
She laughed self-consciously and quickly lost her smile. "I'm scared."
"Babe..." He pulled her to his chest. "Give it to me."
"My period is late," she whispered.
He stilled. "How late?"
"Two or three...months." She inhaled deeply. "It's three months. I've counted and recounted. With everything going on with Tigres after me and staying at your place, I didn't realize until a few days ago, and I thought I missed a period because I was stressed and it still might be why I haven't had one...three. That happens a lot. Women get stressed, and it messes up their periods and I'm thirty-four years old. I have no idea what could be going on with my own body. Plus, you always wore a condom, and I'm on the pill...except for the 2 days I missed because I left them home when I was at your house at the very beginning, but still, I know you always wore a condom. I don't know what is going on with my body, but you need to know...in case."
He kissed the top of her head, thinking through her ramblings. "Do you have one of those piss tests?"
She shook her head. He pulled back and grabbed his phone out of his pocket.
"What are you doing?"
"I'll text Clara and Ingrid and see if they have one lying around," he said.
She grabbed his cell out of his hand. "I don't want them knowing and it's after four o'clock in the morning."
"I'll go buy one at the store," he said. "Is that where you buy 'em?"
She grabbed his jacket he'd worn since he walked into her house. "No. I'll buy one, and I'll do it after work. If I do it now, I won't be able to concentrate during my shift."
"You're wound up," he said.
"Of course, I am." She groaned. "Ugh. I have to get it together. I can do this. One thing at a time. I need to get ready for work. I'll put in my twelve hours. Then, I'll deal with a test. Everything is going to be fine as long as I calm down."
"I'm going to be there when you find out," he stated. There was no way she'd stop him from finding out if she had his baby in her belly.
Warmth filled his chest. His baby. Until now, he hadn't thought of starting a family. If it was a possibility with Lena, he wanted a kid. Hell, he could already be a dad if she was pregnant.
"You're okay with all this news?" she asked, letting go of his jacket. "I didn't know how to tell you."
He chuckled. "More than okay, babe."
"Really?"
"Yeah." He studied her lowered brow. "I know you said you didn't want kids or marriage, but we could be having a baby, and I can't think of a single thing that would make me happier."
She frowned. "I know nothing about having a baby or how moms are supposed to love their child."
He hugged her tight to his chest. "We'll figure this all out once we know, okay?"
"Okay," she whispered holding on to him tightly.
He kissed the top of her head and smiled. His little guys broke through a condom.
Huh.
She could be having his baby.
Chapter 34
Lena walked out of the bathroom at Thad's house and found him standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall watching her. She ducked her head and walked past him, and mumbled, "I need some water."
She'd tried to pee. She couldn't. There was nothing in her bladder.
Her stomach had been upset most of the day, and she'd stopped drinking out of her water bottle after the last break at work in fear she'd throw up if she put anything in her mouth. She walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. The thought of guzzling a large glass of water was about as appealing as going home and sleeping in her too soft bed without Thad.
She filled the glass to within an inch of the brim and shut off the faucet. Thad's boots thunked against the hardwood floor behind her, and she turned, holding the water up. "Cheers."
He rubbed the back of his neck. "Beer makes you pee faster."
"I can't drink alcohol...until I know." She sipped from the glass. "Then, I won't be drinking to pee."
"We need to talk about after," he said.
"What do you mean?"
"After you find out if you're pregnant or not." He stepped forward and planted his hands on the kitchen island. "If you are, what are you going to do?"
She set her glass down and faced him from the other side of the island. "Do?"
"Yeah," he whispered. "All day at work, all I could think about was meeting you here tonight. I've thought over every possibility that could happen, and I'm fucked."
She gawked at him, either misreading or misunderstanding what he was trying to say. "You're unhappy?"
"Jesus Christ, babe." He hung his head before raising his gaze back to her. "I couldn't be happier, but I can't forget how you said you never wanted kids. That scares the shit out of me."
"I'm...I..." She clamped her mouth shut. It would be awful for her to admit, she was trying to forget about what she'd believed her whole life and failing miserably. She'd also be lying if she hadn't thought of her choices and her instinct not to have children.
Thad pushed away from the island and blurted, "I want you. I want the baby."
"We don't know if I'm pregnant," she whispered.
He raised his hands out to the sides, and he raised his voice when he said, "Then, drink the damn water because once that test is done, whether you've got my baby in your belly or not, I'm asking you to marry me. I bought a ring while I was waiting for you to get off work. It's in my pocket. Not because you might be pregnant, but because you love me. Not because you've said you'll never marry. Not because you said you'd never have kids. I want to marry you because I'm going to love you for the rest of your fucking life."
Her jaw dropped open.
He glared and pointed to the glass. "Drink."
She picked up the water and drank. Every single drop.
By the time she finished, Thad still stood on the other side of the room, breathing heavy and looking like if she made one wrong move, he'd lunge.
He'd never given up on her. He'd catered to her decisions. He'd stuck by her when her life was under attack. He'd never wavered on his feelings toward her, even when she was a mess and struggling to live a normal life when she was anything but normal.
"You really love me for who I am, after knowing everything," she whispered. "How is that possible?"
"How is it not?" He stalked over to her, cupped her face, and kissed her lips. "You don't even recognize when someone loves you. If it takes my whole life, I will show you."
She swallowed her fears down. "Thad? I really want a baby. This baby that I didn't even know about, and might not even have inside me, but I want. I never knew how much I wanted this baby until the thought of not being pregnant breaks my heart. If I'm not pregnant—"
He crushed her to his chest. "Then, I'll get you pregnant."
"And, if it doesn't happen?" Putting her fears out into the open.
"We keep loving each other because we're together."
She nodded against his chest. "Thad?"
"What?" He stroked her hair.
"I think I can pee now." She pushed against his stomach, and he refused to let her go. "Thad?"
"I'm happy," he whispered. "Right now. Just you and me. I could live like this for the rest of my life and die happy."
She leaned back and looked up into his face. "Me, too."
He let her go looking like he still had something to say and instead nodded for her to go pee. She walked out of the room, up the stairs, and shut herself in the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet, she picked up the test stick and put it between her legs, closing her eyes.
Thad loved her.
Baby. No baby.
He wanted to marry her.
She wanted to marry him.
Her bladder relaxed, and the tinkle of pee hitting the water in the bowl had her opening her eyes. She peered between her legs and moved the stick into the urine stream.
Finishing in the bat
hroom, she opened the door and found Thad leaning against the hallway wall.
"I did it." She cupped her elbows in her hands.
"How long does it take?"
"Oh, I forgot to look at the time," she muttered, taking her phone out of her rear pocket. "Um, three minutes."
He reached into his front pocket and kneeled on one knee. "Marry me."
She sighed happily. "I thought you were going to wait until after we find out the results."
He cocked his head. "Doesn't matter when I ask you to marry me because I don't plan on being apart from you ever again. We'll be in the same house, the same bed, and living the same life...whatever that life gives us or takes away, we'll do it together."
She nodded. "I want that, too."
"Then, wear this ring, babe." He picked up her hand and slid on a silver ring with a solitaire diamond onto her finger.
She glanced at the ring and looked at him. Her gaze followed his eyes as he pushed to his feet and stood at full height. "I love you."
"I always knew you could if I gave you enough time." He kissed her.
She clung to him, wanting everything to happen exactly the way Thad planned for them because he always gave her time and patience, except when she needed a good dose of get real. She wanted her days filled with hope, her nights filled with love, and their lives so secure, nobody could rip away all the wonderful things that were happening to her and would be coming to them as a couple from now on.
He slid his hand underneath her hair. "What time is it?"
She looked down at the phone in her hand. "It's time."
"Go check the test."
She inhaled deeply and hugged him. "Let's give it thirty more seconds."
Her body vibrated with all the changes coming at her faster than she could process. She realized it wasn't the first time since meeting Thad that she'd relied on feelings she thought were missing inside of her to lead the way.
She pulled back. "I'll go check in a sec, but I want you to know I'm going to contact Alexander Grimaldi. I want to know if he's my father. I think I need this, so I can put my past behind me and make sense of what I lived through. I want to be more confident about myself and everything I'm experiencing with you, and I think I can do that if I have the reasons why my mom treated me the way she did and never loved me."