“No, you are just genuinely fucked up,” Ryker said.
“Oh, right. Keep getting those two mixed up.” They exchanged brief humor-laden smiles. Then the moment was gone.
Ryker looked away. “Do you think it will last?” I could feel frustration rolling off him. What he had gone through to get the powers back might all be for naught.
“I have no idea.” I shrugged. It felt horrible knowing they were there, in my grasp, but I couldn’t reach them. “All we can do is keep trying and hope our abilities aren’t locked away forever.”
“Well, then nothing’s changed for me. But we no longer have your powers to count on.” Ryker motioned to Croygen and me. “And currently we have a girl who can barely walk on her own, a hoard of people, most with powers, after us, no food or water, and on top of that a really annoying monkey.” A slight smirk played on Ryker’s lips.
“Hey!” Sprig stood up on his hind legs. “I see the truce is over, Viking. Fine. You and the buttmuncher over there better watch out.”
“Or what? You’ll talk us to death?” Croygen smirked. “Stick our fingers in honey as we sleep?”
Sprig squeaked. “I would never waste my honey like that. What kind of sprite do you take me for? It is not to be wasted on your fingers. I know where those have been.”
“They got lonely. Can’t blame a man.” Croygen shrugged.
Sprig gagged dramatically, then twisted to me. “That reminds me…”
“Let me guess. You’re hungry.”
Sprig’s eyes widened. “It’s like you’re reading my mind.”
“That’s the only thing ever on your mind,” Ryker quipped.
“No, sometimes I think of ways of farting on your face while you sleep. Or pooping in your boot...” Sprig drifted off, his hand rubbing his belly. “Do you think there is anything nearby? I mean, I will settle for a candy bar. Or even a cookie…oh, Izel’s honey pancakes. They had good chocolate croissants too. But I always preferred the churr—”
“How about chocolate-covered espresso beans?” Ryker’s mouth hitched up, his gaze darting to me, cutting off Sprig’s tirade.
“Oooohhh, yes! I’ll take those too.” Sprig jumped up and down.
“Don’t encourage him.” I turned to Ryker with a glare. “Who’s going to deal with him when he realizes you are only messing with him, and he can’t have any of those things?”
“If I remember correctly, you were the one who got enthusiastic over the espresso beans.” Though his face held no emotion, somehow just the fact of him looking at me sent heat rising from my center.
“Will you guys fuck each other and get it over with?” Croygen groaned, laying his head back.
“I agree with you, swashbutthole.” Sprig nodded. “Though I warn you, they put fae rabbits and river fairies to shame.”
Croygen turned to Sprig with surprise. “Really?”
Sprig nodded dramatically.
“Humm.” Croygen seemed impressed by the notion.
Ryker’s intense gaze remained on me, but he gave nothing away as to what he felt. Then he glanced away. The wall slammed back between us. What had happened to him? What had he gone through to find me? His jaw clenched as if he could hear the questions bounding around in my head. He turned, his gaze going back to the windows. I knew this was his way of saying the topic was off the table.
Suddenly I felt exhausted. We needed to talk about so many things, but my adrenaline from the escape hit bottom. Wordlessly I turned and headed for Lexie.
“I’m sorry, I don’t remember adjourning the meeting.”
“Good night, Croygen.” I waved over my shoulder. “We can talk later. Plan for our next move.” I settled down on the blanket next to my sister. Out in the world, people were rising for the day as I tucked in for a nap. My body and mind needed a little time to rest. “Wake me up when it’s my time for watch.”
The boys didn’t respond. I heard Sprig’s nails skating over the cement as he ran to me. He curled into my neck as I lay down. There were so many things wrong, so many problems ahead of us, but as I huddled closer into my sister, I had to hold on to the small victories. We were alive and we had escaped. All the rest could wait for later: the fact the man I loved was part demon, who still wanted to kill me; that we were being hunted by groups of people and had no magic; Lexie’s frailty limited the distance we could put between us and DMG; I still carried the Stone of Destiny in my boot; and we stood nowhere closer to taking Rapava down.
In this moment, I got to hold the little girl I thought I had lost forever.
That was enough for now.
FOUR
It was dark outside when I finally stirred. Lexie fidgeted and groaned in her sleep, so my own rest hadn’t been relaxing. With a sigh, I nudged Sprig away from my head and rolled over, my bladder demanding I get up.
Ryker still positioned himself on the sill, staring out. Hearing me move, he darted his gaze to me then back out the hole in the window.
“Do you need me to take over?” I walked over to him, rubbing my arms. Losing the heat from Lexie’s and Sprig’s bodies raised goosebumps up my arms. The scrubs we were all wore did nothing to keep away the chill.
“No,” he replied.
“Ryker, you need to sleep too.”
“Later.”
He wouldn’t look at me. The piece of my heart I clung to while I carved into him sank to the bottom of my soul. I hadn’t expected anything different, but I hadn’t let myself think about the pain of truly losing him. Maybe not in death, but I lost him just the same.
“Go back to bed, Zoey. You need to stay warm. Your body needs to rest after what it went through.” He pressed his shoulders into the wall.
“No more than yours.” I folded my arms over me, trying to keep in the warmth.
He twisted irritably on the ledge, feeling my eyes on him. Without his axe strapped to his back, he was like Thor without his hammer. Something felt wrong. Off. He didn’t have to speak a word for me to sense his loss.
“What happened to you?” I asked.
“Nothing you need to know about.”
“Ryker.” I clenched my palms together. “Tell me something. Please.”
He finally looked over at me. “It’s not going to make you feel better.”
“I’m not looking to feel better.” I took a step closer to him but stopped when his nose flared. “I want to know about your real mother and how you found out Vadik’s your father. What happened while we were apart?”
Anger blazed from Ryker’s white irises. “How do you know about Vadik?”
“You told me. Well, sort of. You told me you were part demon when…”
“When I tried to kill you,” he finished my sentence. “I don’t recall what I said during that time.” He stared out into the dark. “It’s more a feeling. The need…” He trailed off. “So yeah, I’m part demon.” A strange noise came from his throat. “The son of Valefor.”
“Valefor?”
“That’s his real name. Duke of Thieves. I knew I was good at stealing, but it is actually in my DNA. Power, speed, dexterity, and the desire to thieve. I wasn’t just good at it, I was born to do it.”
“Wow.” I wrapped my arms around my middle.
“I saw her, my mother. A painting of her hung in the living room when Amara and I were trying to escape.”
“Amara? How is she involved with this?” Anger drilled up the base of my neck. That bitch helped him escape? But she turned us in. It didn’t make sense.
Ryker didn’t seem to hear me, his mind lost in the past.
“She was so beautiful,” he murmured. “Seeing her face, her smile, brought back a memory. It was my third birthday. I remembered my father pouring my dinner all over my cake and shoving my face into it and forcing me to eat it till I threw up, then eat that as well.”
My hand went to my mouth.
“Guess that’s why I don’t like mixing my food.” He rubbed his head. “In the memory his face looked so clear along with his r
age and need for control. He hit her.”
He rolled his jaw, his gaze far off. He stayed quiet for more than a minute, but I stood there, not budging in my own stubbornness.
“After he did that, my mom snuck me into the forest where a woman waited for us. A Druid, I think. She put a spell on me to invoke my powers early and hide me from my father.” He cleared his throat, shifting. “But the price was my mother’s blood. Her life. She killed herself for me. To keep me safe.”
I let my eyes close briefly.
“I jumped and lost my memory of her…what she did for me. Who my father was.”
“I am so sorry, Ryker.”
“Ryker.” He snorted derisively. “Funny, I don’t even know my real name.”
“Ryker is your real name. The family who raised you gave you love and your name. Your mother sacrificed herself so you could grow up loved and protected. Don’t take that away from her.” I wanted to go to him so badly it ached, but any movement I took, he shot me a “stay back” glance.
“What’s even more amusing about finding out I’m part demon was learning my mother’s part human. The two things I grew to despise, and I’m both.”
“You’re Ryker, the Wanderer.” I put my hands on my hips. “All the other stuff doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t matter I’m a demon?” Fury burst out of his mouth.
“Not to me.”
He ran his hand over the top of his blond Mohawk with a grunt. “You need to stay away from me.”
“Not a chance,” I croaked out, toeing my boot into the ground.
His eyes dropped to my shoe, his expression growing intense. I looked down, knowing his eyes had followed.
“Why did you give it to me?” I asked.
“Because I knew it would be safe with you.”
Silence grew heavy between us. “Ryker?”
“Zoey, you need to go. Now.” He rubbed his hands as if he were trying to keep them from curling into fists.
I wasn’t ready to walk away yet. “I am sorry about your axe. And I’m sorry about your…our…powers. That they didn’t all go back to you.”
His gaze darted to me. “Why are you sorry?” His forehead crinkled. He rounded his head back to the window, his voice growing so soft I could barely hear him. “I don’t blame you…or them. I’d choose to stay with you too.”
Tears prickled the back of my lids. “Ryker…”
“It changes nothing.” He sighed. “Because of them, you lived…that is enough for me.”
“And because I died for a moment, some went back to you. Saving your life. That is enough for me.”
He rubbed his forehead, his lids blinking.
“Do you think the need to kill me will ever go away?” I asked softly.
“I don’t know. Until I feel completely in control of myself, I need you far from me.” His teeth gritted together.
“But you might be able to handle them? Eventually?”
He stayed silent, misery lining his forehead. Without saying it, I felt him pushing me away. Saying goodbye.
I felt and heard my heart break. It was like cracking open a clam, ripping the tendons apart in a painful wrench.
“Go back to bed, Zoey,” he finally uttered. “Quickly.”
Fury nibbled at my toes until I let it ride up my spine, hunching my shoulders. “Can I pee first, boss?” Anger was my default. If I couldn’t use my fists, I attacked with attitude.
“Stay close,” he ordered.
I stood for another beat. When he didn’t turn to look at me, I whirled and stomped from the room.
Bastard. Wanderer.
“Screw him,” I mumbled. You’d like to! my mind sang back. “Shut up,” I yelled at myself.
I went outside, finding a dark corner. After I relieved myself, I stood, feeling the hair on my arms rise. All my senses tingled. I wasn’t alone. I scanned the dark space, landing on outlines of dumpsters and other objects playing games on my eyes in the shadows.
A scuffling noise came from the roof, startling me, capturing a gasp in my throat. It was probably a rat or a cat, but my gaze still stayed latched on the area, trying to make out anything. At a squeak of wheels from a dumpster, I jumped in the air and rotated around. Sweat trickled down the back of my shoulders. I wouldn’t be stupid and ask who was there. All the things hunting us would not be polite and respond. They would attack.
I glanced at the heavy doors down the corridor, contemplating my next move. Would Ryker hear me if I screamed? Before I could decide, a shrill squeal of nails scraped down metal, icing my bones. I took off running. As I neared the doors, a figure stepped out. The dark only gave me an outline, but a fist collided with my face and knocked me on my ass. Pain exploded along my cheekbone and nose.
“Arguing with yourself, Zoey? Not a good sign. Maybe you should have stayed locked up.”
Oh. Hell. No.
“Amara,” I snarled, sitting up and rubbing my nose.
Amara stepped out from the shadows, the moonlight highlighting her elegant features. A huge smile spread over her beautiful face. “I wish I could say I enjoyed seeing you again, Zoey, but we both know I’d be lying.”
I scrambled to my feet. I could only see the girl who betrayed us, who turned Ryker over to Vadik and me to DMG. The torture, the pain, the heartache… A deep growl came from my throat, my body lowering itself to attack.
“Still a little mad at me, I see.” She smirked
Hatred clogged my throat; I couldn’t even respond. I leaped for her, my fingers itching to tear her apart. My body crashed into hers, taking us both down on the cement. My arms were already swinging, and my hand slapped her face. I couldn’t feel, see, or hear anything. Fury buzzed in my brain, and the need to taste her blood drove me forward with abandon. I only got in two more hits before I flew in the air, being pulled away from her.
“No,” I snarled, reaching out for her. The need to inflict pain blurred my thoughts. I struggled to get back to her, but the arm around my stomach held me tightly.
“Zoey,” Ryker barked in my ear, but I ignored him as my eyes latched on to the woman on the ground. She patted at the blood coursing down her chin.
“Let me go!”
“Whoa, girl.” Croygen came into sight and reached out to calm me. My jaw snapped at his fingers, urging him back. “Holy shit!”
“Croygen, step back,” Ryker ordered.
“What the hell is wrong with her?” Croygen stared at me.
“You’ve never seen her in crazed fighter mode, have you?”
“I’ve seen her fight.”
“No, you actually haven’t.” Ryker drew me closer to his chest. His heartbeat thumped against my shoulder blade. The in and out of his breath drew my own heart into a gentle rhythm, like a sedative. “Not really.”
I didn’t want to be calmed. I wanted to kill her. I pushed against him, bending my head down to where he held me.
“Don’t even think about biting me,” Ryker warned, his breath hissing down the back of my neck. “Or I will bite you back.”
The rage I felt quickly sizzled into something less violent, though just as primal. I sucked air through my nose harshly, my limbs shaking with built-up energy.
“I’m not going to tell you to calm down because it will only piss you off,” Ryker mumbled into my ear, his voice taut. I snorted. Damn, this man knows me. “But I want you to breathe with me.”
I could only feel his chest moving against my back. I squeezed my lids shut, and I slowed my exhalations with his.
“Are you kidd—” My eyes shot open at the sound of Amara’s voice. I felt Ryker stiffen behind me. I could only imagine the look he sent her to shut her up so quickly.
She stayed quiet till my heart rate had come back down.
“Are you okay now?” Ryker stood rigid behind me, his body shaking.
I nodded, but the sight of the plum-haired turncoat in front of me plunged another dagger of fury into my system.
“Good.” He loosened his gri
p. “Croygen, take her.” Shit. He had fought his desire to kill me in order to calm me down.
“No way. She’s like some wild animal.”
“Croy-gen,” Ryker hissed through his teeth.
“Oh shit. Right.” Croygen put out his arms robotically to me.
“I’m fine!” I pulled away from both of them, but Croygen tugged me until I stood closer to him, and farther from Ryker.
“How did you find us, Amara?” Ryker’s voice rumbled through the air.
“You think I didn’t learn a few things from you over the years?” she countered. “I know you, Ryker. I knew you’d sneak out. I might have drifted off to sleep for a moment, but when you shut the door, I was up tracking you. I watched you turn yourself over to those men. For her.” Her voice was thick with disgust. “I kept an eye on DMG. Finally you guys emerged, and I followed.”
“Why?” Croygen asked, brows creased. “What do you want?”
Her lids narrowed. “And what is it you want, Croygen? Why are you here?” Her eyes tracked to me and back to Croygen. “Oh, I see.”
Ryker’s arm flexed, an irritated noise rumbling from his throat. Amara had only been here five minutes and was already causing trouble.
“You need to go.” My teeth clenched. “Or I will kill you, you traitorous bitch.”
Her perfectly shaped eyebrow curved up at me. I turned my head to look at the wall. Staring at her only drove more need into my muscles to end her life.
“Amara saved my life,” Ryker said as he moved farther from me. “She is the only reason I am standing here now. She helped me escape Vadik.”
He had told me that last night, but I didn’t trust her; she bounced back and forth between sides as it suited her. “She is the only reason you were there in the first place.”
“I know.” Ryker kept his eyes latched on to mine.
“I-I can’t believe this,” I sputtered. “You’re actually defending her? You’ve forgiven her? Think of what she’s done to us.”
Ryker’s mouth creased into a line. “I know you can’t understand, but—”
“You’re right. I don’t.” I half turned, flipping my hand out at her. “She has deceived, lied, and separated us to be tortured and possibly killed. And you forgive her?”
From Burning Ashes (Collector Series #4) Page 5
