Although she loved Alex, there was something about Raphe that thrilled her. When Raphe suggested going to the barn, she was willing. They climbed into the hayloft and stood by a pile of straw. Raphe held her in his arms and in a voice that was almost a croon said, “You’re beautiful, and I want you.” his hands caressed her in places that shot sparks all over her body, and she started to giggle. Raphe pressed his lips on hers to stop her giggling, and almost before she realized what was happening, they were lying in the straw. Raphe was gentle and his body strong. She could feel the muscles in his arms, back, and legs flexing as he held her. Her heart beat so fast that she thought it might leap from her chest. She gasped as he embraced her, and she had no control over her body. She was eager for Raphe’s every movement and thrust.
When at last Raphe lay back in the hay, she felt that something wonderful had happened. She didn’t love Raphe, but she felt good in his arms. She had never felt so alive.
* * *
The trail to their rendezvous was dark, and she had to pick her way. She truly loved Alex and was trying to get Raphe off her mind. She had walked this path many times and knew she was getting close to their rendezvous. When she climbed over a tree branch that had fallen across the trail, she was still thinking about the strange things that had led to this night. She had offered herself to Alex, but he said they were too young and should wait until they were married. He must never know that Raphe had made love to her.
Alex sat on the rock with his head in his hands and brow furrowed. She might not be here tonight; she’s probably still thinking about Raphe. He was about to leave when he heard her coming. he had listened to her skipping along the trail many times, but tonight something was different—she wasn’t skipping. As she came into view, he stood to greet her almost afraid to take her in his arms. He had no idea how she would respond.
Cindy, too, was unsure how Alex would greet her, but when she saw him standing, she ran to him, and he hugged her as she hoped he would. She wanted to feel Alex’s hands caress her as Raphe’s had, but would Alex be able to tell that Raphe had held her? Had Raphe’s making love to her made her different? Would Alex be as wonderful as Raphe, or would she be disappointed? The man she loved was holding her with a need that excited her, but she couldn’t forget the man who had stirred her so deeply only a few hours ago. She still tingled where Raphe’s hands had touched her.
Alex felt her distraction. He held her at arm’s length, and looked searchingly into her eyes. Not seeing what he was looking for, or recognizing what he saw, he took her hand and led her to the flat rock where they had sat so many times before.
“We need to talk,” he said.
Disappointed by Alex’s hesitation and not knowing what he wanted to talk about made Cindy sit quietly, her eyes searching his. He told her about what he had done before seeing her with Raphe but omitted the part about going into the barn. She and Raphe had watched Alex and his Indian friend go into the barn, and she remembered Raphe asking, “Did we fluff the hay after we got dressed?”
“Is that important?” she had replied and thought no more of it. When she watched Alex and his friends leaving the barn, she noticed Alex look back at the house. She knew he saw her because he looked right at her. She had a chance to wave but at the time she didn’t want to. Raphe was standing behind her, hidden by the curtain, holding her hips in his hands. It felt wonderful then, but it seems so wrong now. If Alex would take her in his arms and hold her, maybe then she could understand how she could enjoy a man whom she didn’t love caressing her while she watched the man she did love ride away. Maybe she was falling in love with Raphe. It was all so confusing.
“What did you do today?” Alex asked watching her face closely.
It was a question that under any other circumstances would be innocuous, but at a time like this, it was explosive.
Speaking as casually as she could, Cindy told Alex of riding to the Bar H with Raphe’s horse tethered behind the wagon. And then how Frank Fadden had instructed his men to saddle horses for their parents, and then he gave them a tour of the ranch on horseback.
“Raphe was there waiting for his horse, and he graciously offered to give me a personal tour,” Cindy said. “Mother asked Frank if Raphe was responsible, and Frank smiled as he said, ‘Raphe has always done what I’ve expected him to do.’ That was acceptable to Mother, so she said, ‘Then sure, why not?’ and Raphe and I went our separate way.”
“Did you see a lot of the ranch?” Alex asked.
“Not really. We took a walking tour down by Cripple Creek. It’s a beautiful creek, but not as nice as Thunder Creek. I was wearing riding boots, which weren’t comfortable for walking, so Raphe suggested that we return to the house. That’s where we were when you came by with Gray Wolf and Soaring Eagle.”
“How did you like the barn?”
“We didn’t go into the barn. Raphe offered to show it to me. but I was afraid it would be kind of smelly, so I declined.” She casually asked, “I saw you go into the barn. Did you find anything interesting . . . ?” Cindy could have bitten her tongue off. She knew she had made a mistake when she noticed a slight change in Alex’s expression when she used the word “interesting.” He knows, or at least suspects, something, she thought.
Alex noticed that Cindy was a bit hesitant in telling her story, but nothing was out of place until he asked her about the barn. he and Gray Wolf had seen tracks of two people, one big and the other small, leading to the hayloft. Her denial of being in the loft only proved that she didn’t want him to know that she had been there. he would leave it at that because he really didn’t want to know why she and Raphe had gone into the hayloft, but he was wondering, Is this sudden change in Cindy the result of my not satisfying her physical need, or is it something the Ancient Ones have done because we took a block of their gold?
Alex’s eyes grew sad; he drew back and said, “Cindy, I’m tired. Let’s go home. It’s been a long day, and I need some sleep.”
He took her hand, and they walked home in silence. The words “good night” were the only words exchanged when they parted. Cindy knew the meeting had not gone well, and with tears clouding her eyes, she gave Alex a peck on the cheek when they parted. She thought, Oh, why didn’t he hold me? I wanted to feel his hands on me and feel the same wonderful sensations I felt when Raphe caressed me.
* * *
Alex couldn’t sleep; he kept trying to push the troubling thought of Raphe and Cindy lying in the hayloft from his mind. He refused to believe that Cindy was anything other than the beautiful, innocent girl he had known all his life and that she would wait for him. He couldn’t stop loving her even if he tried.
Sleep didn’t come easily for Cindy either. She knew that Alex didn’t deserve to be hurt, but would there be another time with Raphe? She was surprised that after spending time with Alex, she was still hoping that Raphe would pursue her again. At last she slept. She awoke with a troubled mind, but her body felt exhilarated.
* * *
When Cindy walked into the dining room for breakfast, Marian knew her daughter was a woman now. She didn’t know who had made the change, but she envied her. It made her think of the way she had felt when Frank Fadden helped her off her horse and the excitement that flowed through her as they briefly touched. Thinking about it sent tremors of excitement through her. Marian was a mature woman, but she still enjoyed being treated as a desirable woman.
Chapter 9
Alex awoke from a troubled sleep. Three men were bent on killing him, and one of them had the reputation of being fast with a gun. He wished they hadn’t found the gold and bought the ranch. He was confident in his ability with a gun, but he was no killer and didn’t want to kill another man. Tor and Carl were gunfighters, and he had beaten Tor easily. Slim and Shorty were would-be gunfighters looking to improve their reputation, but Herv Hamlin was a ruthless, seasoned gunfighter and the real thing. Alex wondered if he would measure up when the time came, and he knew for sure that the time was
coming. He refilled the chambers of his revolver, filled the loops in his cartridge belt, and took a box of cartridges from the nightstand. Without eating breakfast, he rode into the canyon to a secluded place and practiced his quick draw.
He practiced and practiced. He shot a branch off a tree and penetrated the branch three times before it hit the ground. Then he picked up three rocks and threw them in the air. He shot each one before it fell to the ground. Anyone watching would have been astonished at his speed and accuracy.
He knew he should eat, but he wasn’t hungry. He couldn’t get the picture of Cindy with Raphe out of his mind. He had to talk to somebody or he would go mad. Then he remembered his old friend Talking Drum. The Ute said he was the wisest man who ever lived.
Alex went to the village and looked for Talking Drum. He was meditating beside Thunder Creek. Somehow Talking Drum knew that Alex was seeking counsel, so he sent a warrior to ask Alex to join him.
The old medicine man took one look at Alex. “Sit, young warrior,” he said. “Your face tells me you are troubled. I know about the men who have come to kill you, but that wouldn’t cause the pain I see. What’s troubling you?”
Alex explained what he believed he had learned about Cindy.
“Why does that bother you? A woman’s body is not harmed by being loved by a man. In fact, it’s quite the other way; it’s enhanced.”
“But I love Cindy, and I want her to be mine, exclusively.”
“Are you telling me that you want to own Cindy? You can’t own another person. You can hold them captive, or you can use other methods to restrain them, but you can’t control their minds. You want Cindy to want you exclusively, and she can’t do that. She can love you and want to please you, and I think she does, but she cannot control how her mind and body respond to the attention of an aggressive man. Her body will react to his aggressiveness, and that’s how it is meant to be. Let me demonstrate.”
A beautiful Indian girl, in the bud of womanhood, was walking by. It was Morning Flower. Alex had known her all of his life. Talking Drum called to her.
“Morning Flower, will you sit beside Alex?”
A smile lit Morning Flower’s face, and her eyes sparkled as she sat beside Alex, allowing her tunic to open just enough to expose her soft inner thighs, hoping Alex would notice, and she wasn’t disappointed. She had wanted to be with Alex ever since she had become a woman, but she thought he was beyond her.
“Isn’t she beautiful?” Talking Drum asked. “She wants you. She needs you. Would you deny her if you were alone and she offered herself to you?”
Alex hesitated to answer, and after looking more carefully, he saw Morning Flower differently than he had ever seen her before.
“If we were alone, and she persisted, I might not,” he replied, gazing tenderly at Morning Flower.
“Would you love Cindy any less?” Talking Drum asked.
“No, of course not,” Alex replied, shaking his head.
Talking Drum nodded to Morning Flower. She nodded back, touched Alex’s hand, and looked wistfully at him; Alex smiled in recognition.
Morning Flower demurely lowered her eyes and, as she got up, glanced back at Alex, thinking to herself, If Cindy takes a lover, I might have a chance with Alex.
* * *
Talking Drum brought Alex’s attention back. “Sit with me for a while, watch, and listen,” he said.
It was a quiet morning, and the world was alive with action. Alex watched turtledoves picking seeds from the grass. The male doves sought the females. A stallion with a herd of mares grazed beyond the stream. The stallion, his nostrils flared, walked among the mares, checking for the ones that were ready to mate.
Animals were all around.
“Sit quietly, watch closely, and you’ll learn about life,” Talking Drum said to Alex.
Time passed with no more words exchanged. After a while, Talking Drum broke the silence. “What have you learned?”
“Male animals pursue the female. At first the female resists, and then she submits to the most persistent male, but the female makes the choice.”
“Did any of the males force their way with the female?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Did the female mate with only one male?”
“No, she mated with every male that persisted.”
“What else did you see?”
“The males fought for the right to mate with the female. A young renegade stallion was killed by the lead stallion for trying to mate with one of his mares, and the stronger stallion won. The female seemed indifferent as to which suitor won, but she mated with the winner. There was one exception: while the lead stallion was busy fighting the renegade stallion, another young stallion came and mated with the mare they were fighting over—the mare submitted willingly.”
“The mare didn’t care which male mated with her,” Talking Drum commented. “She was ready to be bred, and she submitted to the first male that persisted.”
“Yes, that’s true.”
“Did Cindy offer herself to you?”
“Yes.”
“Did you fill her need?”
“No.”
“Then why should you be angry because another man did for her what you failed to do?”
“I’m not angry at Cindy, and I’m not even angry at Raphe. He only did what any man might have done. I don’t think he forced his way with Cindy, and that’s what bothers me—I think Cindy willingly gave herself to him.”
“Men and women’s needs are different,” Talking Drum continued. “A man’s need is physical, while a woman’s is emotional. A man needs a woman as he needs food, water, or air. A woman needs a man to make love to her and love her enough to care for her and help raise their children. A woman will mate with any man who pursues her vigorously, but she is aroused more by a rogue and will give herself eagerly to him. She wants the rogue for sex, but she wants a good man for a husband because the good man will make a commitment and provide for her and her children.”
“Then the good man is a fool,” Alex said. “Are you telling me that if I want Cindy, I’ll have to settle for second best?”
“I’m telling you that you must compete with other men for her. If you concentrate on what you’re doing, you can win. Cindy will do what Cindy will do. She’s a woman; love her if you must, but don’t try to own her. If she’s worth having, she’ll come to you, and then you can decide. You’ll lose her, and lose respect for yourself, the way you’re doing it now,” Talking Drum said with a wave of his hand. “And what’s worse, if you try to possess her, she will lose respect for you and hate you for it.”
The meeting was over, and Alex thanked Talking Drum and left. he found Morning Flower sitting by the river.
“You’re very beautiful,” he said and kissed her. “But I must leave—I have a mission.”
She trembled in his embrace. Then Alex got on his horse and went looking for Herv Hamlin and his two back shooters.
* * *
Gray Wolf and Soaring Eagle found Alex and told him that his enemies had not ventured away from the Flying W Ranch today. Alex rode home to have breakfast and talk to his father.
When Alex didn’t show up for breakfast, eva was worried. She saw how Cindy responded to Raphe, and hoped that Marian would forbid her from being alone with him, but when Marian said it would be fine, Eva didn’t think she should interfere. After they returned from the ride with Frank, her woman’s intuition told her that something had occurred between Cindy and Raphe. She understood why Cindy would have submitted to Raphe. He had a compelling attractiveness; and even she was drawn to his strong manliness, reminding her of her first love.
Even though Frank found Eva more attractive, Marian flirted with him shamelessly. Men are so strange, Eva thought. Neither Vard nor Marl noticed, and Marl should have, because Frank is a good-looking bachelor, and he sleeps alone. Marian is more than willing to fill his lonely bed.
Eva mentioned her concern about Alex to Vard.
“Will he have to fight Herv Hamlin? Oh, Vard, I hope not; Alex is still a boy.”
“Hank Tyler hired Herv to eliminate me. He knows I can’t beat Herv in a gunfight, although he’s afraid that Alex might. Eva, I don’t want Alex to fight my fight. I suggested that he go east to complete his education and stay away until this is settled. He won’t do it because he knows that if he runs now, he’ll have to run for the rest of his life.” Vard paced the floor. “It sure puts me in a difficult spot. He may be a boy in age, but he’s one of the best men in these parts, and I’m proud of him.”
Vard sat down in his comfortable chair. “It’s too bad about Cindy and Raphe. That’s got to weigh heavily on Alex and right at the time when he has so much to think about. . . . Cindy’s eagerness to be with Raphe will make Alex doubt his worth as a man. He needs all the assurance he can get. Women pick the damnedest time to act like women.”
“I didn’t think you noticed the attraction Cindy had for Raphe,” eva said, startled at his remark.
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