“No, again I told her that we should wait.”
“Why will men never learn?” Elsa said in exasperation. “Women have needs, too. Cindy was too young and too inexperienced to understand what was happening, and she probably thought that she was somehow to blame for enticing those men. Then when you refused her, she felt unloved. Rape is a terrible thing for a woman. It’s frightening, humiliating, and degrading, and sometimes the girl feels that she did something to cause the rape and then she feels guilty.”
Elsa could tell by the way Alex was listening that what she was telling him were things he had never been told before.
“It was the same with me. You and Greg are a lot alike, but Cindy and I are even more alike. We were both ready for a man, but being forced to have sex left us frightened and confused, so we wanted a man to reaffirm our desirability. We wanted a man to make love to us. For some girls, it takes a very long time to get over the trauma of being raped.
“The rogue who seduced her was probably young and handsome. He did what Cindy wanted him to do, just like Big Mike did what I wanted. You have no right to blame Cindy—blame yourself. If you had been more understanding, she wouldn’t have had to go to that rogue. I’ll wager that the rogue didn’t seduce her; I’ll bet that she submitted willingly, like I submitted willingly to Big Mike. Big Mike didn’t seduce me; I seduced him, and Cindy did the same. Sometimes girls make mistakes, especially when they are just becoming women. Cindy needed your understanding.”
Thinking she was too harsh with Alex, Elsa stopped telling him what he wanted to know, and asked, “The question I want answered is, would you take Cindy back if she asked you? I’d like to ask that question of Greg, but I don’t dare. You know that I sell myself to men, but did you know that I would like to have a man make love to me? I enjoyed you making love to me. I don’t want your money.” She kissed Alex gently on the lips. “If Cindy doesn’t want you, I do.”
Then Elsa looked at Alex with a sly smile. “You made love to me. Did I deprive Cindy of anything?”
“No, I think I’ll recover,” Alex grinned.
“Then why do you think that being with another man would harm Cindy in some way?
Alex replied, “I was an only child, and I had no male friends to tell me about women, so I really knew nothing about them. Because you make your living pleasing men, you’ve learned what I never had an opportunity to know. When you explained how women feel, it made me realize that I was partly to blame, and somehow that made me feel better about myself.”
Elsa kissed Alex’s cheek and held his hand. “A woman wants a man to hold her and make her feel that she’s the only woman he’ll ever want. Any strong, healthy man will do, and if the man is charming, all the better. Do you see what I mean?”
“Yes, I see what you mean, but I’ve never before heard it said like that, and it’s a little difficult to understand.”
Chapter 16
When Alex awoke, sunlight was streaming through the window, his gun was lying on the nightstand, and his clothes were laid out neatly on the chair. A pan of water sat on a table in front of a mirror, but Elsa was nowhere to be seen. Alex dressed quickly and used the back stairs to get to the street, where he bought a couple of apples from the grocer, then walked to the stable and greeted his horse. Midnight stomped and nickered as Alex gave him one of the apples; Alex ate the other one. he also made sure that Midnight had plenty of oats, hay, and water.
* * *
Timberland had no law office, so Alex opened one. He rented a suite of rooms over the general store, furnished the office with everything he thought a lawyer might need, and on the large window overlooking Main Street, he had a sign painter print: “ALEX VANOR, ATTORNEY AT LAW.” He sat at the impressive desk that he bought from the banker—who had bought a replacement—and ordered a set of law books from Denver. he told the man from whom he ordered the books that he would pick them up in a week or so. Alex thought that he should have law books in his office to impress his clients—if he ever got any. he didn’t need the income, but he did need an occupation so that when people saw him, they would identify him as being a solid member of the community. Behind his office were two rooms and a bath that he furnished as a residence.
When Vard and Marl brought the bank draft from Denver, Vard had opened a bank account with both Alex and Eva's names. Eva drew money out of the account any time she wanted, and Alex could, and did, draw on the account as well. He wanted his own money, and he knew where to get all he needed.
* * *
Alex decided to convert two more of the gold blocks to coins. Knowing that the surveyors had found a way to survey the land, Alex went to the survey office and got a set of professionally drawn maps. Now all he had to do was buy the equipment to extract the gold, rent a freight wagon to haul the equipment, and rent eight mules—two to pull the wagon and six to carry the gold from the cave to the wagon. He kept them all at the stables and swore Sandy, the stable master, to secrecy.
Alex left Timberland late at night, with Midnight tethered behind the mules. It was September and the mountains were beautiful—the leaves were changing color and the air was crisp. He had received excellent training from his Indian friends and felt comfortable in the rugged mountains.
The maps proved helpful. He drove the wagon as far as the terrain allowed and hid the wagon in the brush. Then he rode Midnight and led the mules loaded with tools to the “lost city.”
The animal trail that Cindy had found when she went to look for the pole had almost disappeared from lack of use, and the opening in the rocks she had used to drag the pry pole through was a little difficult to find. Alex placed the tools near the opening, and since it was getting late, he built a fire. He bathed in the cold lake and was glad to have the fire to warm himself. Mountain lions snarled in the distance, so he built the fire bigger and then rubbed down the animals to reassure them. When he was sure there was no danger, he sat and drank coffee and ate hardtack.
He recollected the time when Cindy was his constant companion and wished she were there beside him. They had found this “lost city” because she was so adventuresome and wanted to explore. he hoped that Raphe was treating her well and that she was happy, but he had a nagging feeling that all was not well with her. While he was taking what gold he needed, he would take enough for her as well.
His talk with Elsa gave him a new way to look at what Cindy had done, and perhaps, as Elsa had said, he was partly to blame. Elsa was right about one thing—he hadn’t helped Cindy in the way she needed. Alex kept wondering what he should have done differently. At the time, he thought what he did was right. How was he to know that Cindy felt guilty and unloved?
He slept fitfully. Strange faces kept appearing out of the darkness; they seemed to be trying to tell him something. He awoke and felt a weird presence, but all he could see were treetops twisting in the wind like tortured creatures moving under the influence of unseen hands. The wind moaned as if trying to find its way through the ancient crags.
* * *
Morning came, but shadows lingered in the deep valley. It would be midmorning before the sun would be high enough to penetrate the haze that had gathered in the canyon.
After it warmed up a bit, Alex dragged the chains and clamps into the cave and secured them, taking care not to dislodge a block and trap himself again. I won’t have Cindy to rescue me this time, he thought.
Moving quickly, he set up the block-and-tackle for pulling two gold blocks from the wall. Then, to prevent the cave from collapsing, he rigged logs through the narrow passageway. Climbing in and out of the cave was time-consuming, and he didn’t want to make extra trips, so he took the time to carefully hide the mouth of the cave that he had seen when he dove into the lake. Some casual swimmer might find the opening to the lost city like he did. After closing the cave on the lake side, he sat on the wall of gold to rest, but he couldn’t rest. Angry voices filled the cavern, and he remembered Talking Drum’s warning: “Do nothing to anger the spirits of
the Ancient Ones.”
Alex wasn’t superstitious, and he didn’t believe in the supernatural, but the voices seemed real. he tried without success to understand what they were saying. he had enough to worry about right now, so he went outside and set up the smelter and molds to change the blocks into bars, each weighing about twenty-five pounds.
Removing the gold blocks with the proper equipment was easy, but molding them into bars was difficult. As the sun went down, he finished. He bathed in the lake and rebuilt his fire, then ate a leisurely supper and watched darkness fill the deep canyon.
* * *
Alex dreaded another night of angry voices, strange faces, and moaning wind. There was something foreboding about the wind, and each time he heard the voices, he remembered Talking Drum’s warning. That warning reverberated in his head, so he decided to go back to Timberland, but before he left, he erased all evidence of his having been there. he led the loaded pack mules back to the wagon, hid the gold in the wagon, and then drove the wagon back through Timberland en route to Denver.
As he drove through Timberland, a couple of people shouted, “Where are you going with that wagon?”
“I’m going to Denver to pick up a set of law books,” he replied. The nosy neighbors seemed satisfied. They couldn’t see the gold hidden under the false floor of the wagon.
* * *
As Vard and Marl had done years ago, Alex deposited the check for the gold in the Bank of Timberland and established two equal accounts: one in his name and the other in Cindy’s name. Cindy couldn’t sign for her deposit, but the banker had a copy of Cindy’s signature and said he would honor her checks. She could sign for her account later.
Without knowing it, Cindy had become a wealthy woman. Alex didn’t want Raphe or some other rogue to charm her and take her money, so he put a limit on how much she could withdraw without his signature.
* * *
Still desirous of locating his father’s killer, Alex sat at his usual table at the Trail’s End Saloon. Marl walked in, head up, and clear-eyed. he no longer drank heavily, and he was a different man now. The regulars at the saloon stepped aside for him and offered to buy him drinks instead of expecting him to buy drinks for them. he still wore his nickel-plated revolver, which no one took casually anymore.
Marl came over to Alex’s table, and Alex invited him to sit and have a drink.
“What are you drinking?” Marl asked. “I gave you a bottle of the best I have, but it’s still full. What’s in your glass?”
“Fizz water,” Alex whispered. “I don’t drink alcohol. When you asked about the full bottle, you said ‘It’s the best I have.’ What did you mean by that?”
“I bought the place. I’ve owned it for a long time—I thought you knew. I was the one who sent Elsa to your table, and like the whiskey, she’s the best we have.”
“Why would you send me whiskey when you know I don’t drink?”
“For the same reason I sent you a girl, knowing how badly Cindy hurt you. I, too, was hurt, and you know why. I was drinking too much. You and Vard saved me. I quit drinking and found comfort in a whore’s bed. You weren’t drinking enough, and you needed the comfort of a woman, so I sent you one. Can you deny that Elsa gave you comfort?”
“She was comforting, without a doubt, and she taught me a lot about women. By the way, I heard you bought the big house on the hill and that Marian and you are together again.”
“You’re wondering how I swallowed my pride, and how our married life is doing, aren’t you? I think you’re entitled to know, so I’ll tell you. Our nights are better than they ever were. Our days are strained, but maybe time will heal my wounds.”
“I don’t mean to be rude or to disrupt your marital bliss, but will time erase Marian’s memories of Frank?”
“I don’t know, and I doubt that I ever will. There are times when she’s more stimulated than others, and I can’t help wondering what fantasies excite her passion.”
“Don’t you care?”
“Of course I do, but she fills a need for me, and I can only hope that I fill one for her.”
“Marl, you were my father’s best friend. He respected you, and I think you both had the same problem with the same man. Mother is in bed with that man right now. She had been indiscreet before Father died, but he chose to turn a blind eye. Do you know why?”
“I hesitate to speak ill of your mother.” Marl shifted uneasily in his chair. “Are you sure you want to know?”
“You’re damn right I want to know, and you know why.”
“I know that you still love Cindy. I can see the torture in your eyes, so for your sake and perhaps for Cindy’s, I’ll tell you why.”
Reluctantly Marl continued. “Your mother was the most beautiful girl in Appalachia. Men, young or old, wanted her, and they would take her any way they could. She was high-spirited and loved the attention. A tall, dark man who worked as a janitor at her school took her to bed, and I guess she fell in love with him. She came from a good family, and they tried to stop her, but they couldn’t keep her out of the man’s bed. As could be expected, she got pregnant. Eva's father hired men to drive her lover away. eva was devastated and, to spite her father, she slept with every man who asked her, and many did.”
Marl paused as his thoughts went back. “Vard was a strong, handsome young man from a family of poor mountain people. Vard loved eva, but she was in a class above him. When Eva got pregnant, men in her own class wouldn’t look at her. Vard asked her parents for her hand in marriage.
“Knowing that Eva had a wild side, and to protect her from herself, her parents agreed to the marriage with the stipulation that Vard would swear never to leave her regardless of what she did. Vard agreed, and they were married. They moved here to start a new life. Then six months later, Eva lost the baby.”
Marl paused to pour himself whiskey from Alex’s bottle, took a sip, and then continued.
“Marian and I had been their friends for a long time, so we all came west together and settled at the mouth of Thunder Canyon. It wasn’t called Thunder Canyon, though, until you and Cindy gave it that name.”
Alex nodded, sipped his drink, and waited to hear more.
“Marian and Eva had always been friends, but Marian secretly envied Eva. Eva was getting all the attention, and Marian wanted to experience the lovemaking of other men. I objected, of course, but Marian knew that Cindy was having sex with Raphe, and she envied her daughter. When Frank showed her that special interest, she willingly allowed him to take her to bed. It was new and exciting, and she didn’t care what I wanted because she was enjoying herself.
“Eva had been faithful to your father, but when she heard about Cindy and Raphe, it must have brought back memories of her old lover and aroused her interest in other men again. Frank was bedding Marian, but he really wanted Eva. he thought Eva was unavailable, but when she encouraged him, he dumped Marian and took Eva to bed. You know the rest.”
“What is it about men like Frank and Raphe that fascinate women?” Alex scratched his head.
“I asked one of my whores that same question. She implied that the thrill of something different dares them to seek it.”
“I always knew Father was a good man,” Alex replied, “but I never knew how good until now. Is there a woman anywhere that a man can trust?”
“I’ve been around a long time,” Marl smiled, “and I’ve known a lot of women. They’re not all the same—some are cold as fish. You’ve seen women frowning and scowling at every pretty woman they pass. How would you like to go home to something like that every night? The women we have are high-spirited. Isn’t that why we love them? The vast majority of women never stray, but as a man much wiser than I once said, ‘Many women don’t, but there are none who won’t.’”
“Was this wise man married?” Alex asked with a chuckle.
“Yes, and he had a house full of kids.”
“Do you think he ever wondered if they were all his?”
They la
ughed at their pathetic humor.
“Your father knew what was going on between Eva and Frank, and he suspected that Frank wanted the ranch, too. So to make sure Frank didn’t get it, Vard drew up a will leaving the ranch and everything else to you. The will is recorded. Vard put the will, the deed to the land, and the records of his banking transactions in an envelope at the courthouse. You can get copies of everything there. He told me to tell you this when you got home from college.”
“That would indicate that Father suspected that Frank might try to do away with him,” Alex commented.
“With your father gone, Eva would inherit the ranch,” Marl said, looking intently at Alex. “Frank already had your mother, and if Vard didn’t write his will leaving everything to you, Frank would have both your father’s wife and his property.” Marl glanced at Alex again, this time with real concern. “Alex, if Frank finds out that Vard left you the ranch, your life is in danger. Frank is a greedy, ruthless man. I don’t think he was that way when he first started working at Bar H, but wanting to own the ranch has gone to his head.”
“My life is in such a mess already that I don’t care anymore; I just want to find Father’s killer and make sure that Cindy is being taken care of.” Alex searched Marl’s eyes. “Do you know where she is?”
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