Nakia arched an eyebrow. “So, the Roshan are the only ones who bond with people?”
“We understand the bonds better than you barbarians. You don’t know what it means to rely on each other the way the Roshan do.”
“Your own sister can’t rely on you.” Nakia pointed at him.
He grabbed her wrist and yanked her forward, then slapped her. She fell to her knees, grabbing her cheek. Asad grabbed her hair. She yelped as he yanked her head up. Layla growled, but Nakia shook her head. This pain was tiny compared to what she’d been through already.
“Ashni has never been reliable because she’s not one of us. She surrounds herself with barbarians because she doesn’t accept us,” Asad said.
Nakia grabbed hold of her own locks and pulled, ripping her hair from his fingers. Some hair tore from her scalp, but she was free. The move shocked Asad.
“Because you never accepted her,” Nakia shouted. “You don’t even think she’s your father’s daughter.”
“There was nothing to accept. She knew what she was. Mom might’ve been fooled, yet we all knew once the lightning came in and she suddenly thought it set her apart.” He stepped forward as if to grab her again, but Nakia slipped from his grasp.
She scowled at him. “What the hell are you talking about? You three shunned her.”
“You don’t know what happened.”
“You’re all jealous of her and her relationship with your parents. You hate how people love her. You don’t understand why anyone could accept her when you thought it was all right to throw her away. I think you hate that the gods—and your father—chose her.”
Asad straightened, fire burning in his eyes, then stormed out, slamming the door behind him. The glasses on the table tinkled together from the impact. Nakia slumped to the floor.
Layla dropped down to Nakia. “We’re rubbing off on you in the worst way.”
Nakia managed to laugh. “He seems mad.”
“You got under his skin.” Layla gathered Nakia into her arms and helped her to her feet. “You should be careful, though.”
“If he’s upset, he’s not thinking clearly. He’s likely to miss what’s going on around him.” She would do anything to keep him from discovering what was happening behind his back. “So, sister, huh?”
“Sister.” Layla chuckled and hugged her. “And you know what I’d do for a sister.”
Nakia smiled and leaned into Layla. Layla would have her back no matter what. That knowledge filled her with confidence.
Chapter Twelve
ASHNI HAD TROUBLE SITTING up in the uncomfortable bed to take her vapor treatment. Aches throbbed through every part of her, and it itched like there was sand under her skin. The thick, black steam of the treatment, heated in a bowl, stung her eyes and scratched the roof of her mouth. Her lungs burned as she breathed in the medicine, which she couldn’t even smell or taste. The poison had dulled those senses, as well as her sense of touch. She pushed herself through it.
“Breathe in,” Samar stood by her bedside and coached her, breathed with her. It was partly to make sure she didn’t go too fast. She needed to hold the vapor in, take her time, even though she wanted to rush through everything. Samar made sure that didn’t happen. “Out.”
Ashni followed the rhythm. She needed to move, needed her body to stop feeling like she was made of dust. Samar promised the medicinal fumes would help with that, and it was the only way her body would accept treatment right now.
Even though it had been days, she couldn’t hold down liquids or food. Well, she thought it had been days. It was hard to tell, being locked in a room with no windows. Surely, she needed sunlight. Looking at her arms, she was pale, close to the same color as her mother. And Roshan nobles thought I was light before.
The poison left faded dark lines down her body. Ashni had never heard of a poison making a body look like vines lurked under the skin, so Samar filled her in. The poison, known as dilitro, had confounded Samar more often than not, even with the instructions left by the Northern barbarians.
Ashni couldn’t turn her gaze away from her body. Her muscles had decayed, and her skin hung off her bones. She hated it. Be grateful you’re alive.
“How long until I can move properly?” Ashni asked.
“I’m not sure. For now, focus on breathing in and out to make sure you get the full effect of the medicine,” Samar replied.
Ashni nodded. She could feel the medicine down to her toes, tingling as it slowly rebuilt her broken body. Samar stepped over with another remedy as soon as she was done with the vapors.
“More balm?” Ashni asked, even though it was clear by the jar in Samar’s hand. The thick goo inside was bright green.
Samar shrugged. “Your body responds to this better than any others I’ve used. You absorb the medicine through your skin.”
Ashni nodded. She was more used to salves for bruising and soreness. Her injuries had never been so severe to be medicated like this. She wasn’t sure other doctors would’ve thought to treat her in this way. What would I have done without Samar?
“What did you see when you were unconscious?” Samar asked as she rubbed Ashni down with the balm, starting with her bony arms. It made her skin tingle, like being pricked with needles.
Ashni’s brow furrowed. “Why does it matter?”
It was just her life. She lived it once. That should’ve been good enough.
“Perhaps your mind needs treatment as well if it came up with ways to keep you occupied. Or maybe even your soul, if it went on a journey while your body was down.”
“My mind and soul are fine.” But…had her soul gone on a journey? She didn’t think so, but she was certain her father spoke to her at the end. And reliving her life…it felt like more than a dream. It felt deeper, like being there.
Samar stared her down with dark eyes. “What did you experience?” she asked gently.
Ashni inhaled and got a lungful of medicine from the balm with a hint of a strange citrus scent. My sense of smell is trying to come back. She trusted Samar with everything. “My life.”
Samar arched an eyebrow and continued to spread the liniment, now to Ashni’s thin legs. “What about your life?”
Ashni squinted as she searched her mind. “Relationships? I’m not sure.” That seemed to be the breakdown of each vision. Every one of them seemed to be her connection to someone else. Tau. She wanted to reach for the teeth around her neck—her brother’s—but she couldn’t lift her hands.
Samar nodded, massaging the balm into Ashni’s feet. How many times had Samar done this for her? Samar was beyond a well-respected member of society and there she was rubbing Ashni’s feet.
“Relationships with whom?” Samar asked.
Ashni thought back to each dream. “Family.”
Samar moved to her back, slipping her hands under the shirt Ashni wore. “Family in what way?”
Ashni took another deep breath. She wasn’t quite sure she could boil it down. “My mother helping me understand how stupid it was to listen to nobles who said I wasn’t Dad’s.”
“That’s it?”
“No. There were my brothers and things with them, good and bad. Joining my guild. The heartache of what I did to Tau and how I almost let Midnight Thunder die. Meeting Adira. I could practically feel how jealous Jay was of her.”
Samar made a noise, massaging salve on Ashni’s spine and neck. “So, relationships that shaped you?”
Ashni wished she could scratch her chin. “I don’t think I’d say that.”
“Then what? We’re going to be here a while.”
Ashni did her best to explain her dreams, how she was on the outside looking in. How it seemed like more than a dream, and less like she was actually there. Samar listened and worked, but she didn’t say anything in the end. Ashni glared at her the best she could.
Samar arched an eyebrow as she stepped away. “Why that expression?”
“Aren’t you going to say anything about my experience?”<
br />
Samar gave her a soft smile and tilted her head. “Do you need me to?”
Ashni snorted. “No, but that’s never stopped you before.”
If Samar and her own mother were anything to go by, mothers were always loaded with advice no one asked for. Unfortunately, they also had good timing and offered advice no one asked for at the right time.
She chuckled as she massaged the liniment into Ashni’s neck, just under her chin. “I feel it’s pretty obvious.”
Is this really all mothers? So annoying and smug. “Oh, really? I think it’s pretty hazy, just flashes of my life.”
“Very particular flashes of your life. Not to mention, your father’s voice at the end.”
Ashni shrugged. It took her a moment to realize she moved her shoulders and giddiness fluttered in her belly. Slowly, but surely. “Maybe my mind really did break. You have medicine for that?”
“Of course I do. Maybe you needed to see them to sort yourself out. See your past roads to figure out your future path. See who you were on each step of the way to determine who you will become.”
That seemed too simple. She felt changed by what she saw, almost like she wasn’t who she thought she was. “And Dad’s voice at the end?”
Samar laughed. “Are you or are you not the Chosen One?”
Ashni blew out a breath. She should’ve expected that sort of answer from Samar. Now, she’d end up with more questions than answers. Who was she now that she was bedridden? Where was she going? To conquer the West of course. Her dream. Her father’s dream. None of those visions were about conquering the world, which she always thought was the only goal she should have. Wasn’t that what I was chosen for?
Then, her dad’s voice rang in her head, a memory from long ago. Ashni, you’re different, but in a good way. You’ve been marked. You are chosen.
Chosen for what? Damn it. She needed to figure that out.
“Why do you think I’m here?” Ashni asked.
Samar gave her a deadpan look. “I can’t tell you the lesson or you don’t learn it.”
“That’s not how learning works.” Teachers told students the lessons all the time.
“That’s exactly how learning works when it comes to life.”
Ashni rolled her eyes. Samar was a night nymph, so she probably knew everything there ever was to know, and she’d never outright share.
Sighing, Ashni tried to answer her questions. She wanted to conquer the world and make it Roshan…why? Yes, it was her father’s dream, but he had a chance to push her to take over the world and he didn’t. He told her to “lead the world” instead. What does that mean?
Before she could come up with an answer, Adira stormed in. She threw her sword into a corner. The sword clattered onto the floor. Then, Adira threw herself onto a pillow. She scowled at the floor, obviously trying to burn a hole in it. Every time Adira came in, she seemed more and more upset, and the fact that she threw her sword meant that something was very wrong.
“What are you pouting about?” Ashni asked.
Adira snarled. “Shut the fuck up.”
Ashni flinched. Her friend’s anger seemed genuine. Ashni couldn’t remember a time Adira was truly angry with her, and now Adira looked at her like she was the enemy.
“Hey, don’t bring that negative energy here. She’s healing,” Samar said with a frown.
“Then tell her to shut the fuck up. Damn idiot takes a month nap, and then asks stupid ass questions while she can’t get the fuck out of bed.” Each word was stained with intense hatred.
Samar handed Adira a cup. “Drink that and calm down.”
Adira took the cup. When she sipped whatever was in the cup, her face didn’t mend. Her body didn’t relax. She appeared ready to take on the gods, and Ashni pitied them.
“What’s going on, Adira?” Ashni asked.
Adira didn’t even bother to glance in her direction. “There’s nothing you can do about it right now.”
“Why not?” Ashni asked.
When was the last time she couldn’t do something? Couldn’t set something right? She thought back to Tau and Midnight Thunder. She hadn’t been able to make things right with Tau, no matter how hard she still tried, but she had been able to do so with Midnight Thunder.
Adira sneered at the floor. “Because if I put this cup in your hand, you’d fall over.”
Unfortunately, Ashni couldn’t argue that. Why is Adira so angry? It had to do with the bruises on Nakia’s face. There had to be a connection. Which meant they Ashni had failed the people she was meant to protect. Guilt twisted in her gut, turning her mouth sour.
She thought back to her vision of meeting Adira, riding with Adira. Was she great in Adira’s eyes? Not at the moment, no. What do I need to do to be great? She needed to protect those who trusted her to do so and she failed. Who am I if not a protector?
***
Nakia had trouble sitting on the throne, beyond the ache of her body. It was a visual lie, but she needed to be strong for the people. Much of her was sore and tired. Her back was bruised. Her thighs ached. She couldn’t even imagine what her ass looked like, having been beaten last night with a riding crop meant for a horse.
Asad had become particularly brutal. Everything hurt, down to the roots of her hair and even her fingernails. She finally understood why some people thought it shouldn’t be acceptable to beat a slave to excess.
“You little bitch.” Asad shot up the dais and shoved her out of the seat. “Did you think we wouldn’t find out?” His voice boomed, and he pointed behind him where Jay strode in, holding Saniyah by the wrist. Jay was calm but gave off a vibe like he could tear the world apart if he decided to.
Nakia groaned. She shook away the ringing in her ears and glared at Asad. He glared right back.
“Find out about what?” Nakia asked.
“The army from your sister’s spouse,” Jay replied.
Wicus’ army. Why did that catch their interest? Nakia arched an eyebrow and shook her head. “What about them?”
Asad grabbed her by her hair, yanking her face to his. “He’s moving massive amounts of troops. Does he think he can attack us?”
These guys have no clue. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. If anything, the troops are probably going north. He wants it to be secure, as goes his agreement with us. It has nothing to do with an attack. They’re not close to the city, right?” Nakia replied.
“As if they can’t be rerouted to attack us,” Jay said. That was true, but they’d see an attack coming a mile away.
Nakia smirked. “Why would Wicus go to war with the Roshan Empire now? It doesn’t make sense.”
“He sees this as a chance to free himself from the Empire,” Jay said. “He said so himself.”
“You contacted him?” Nakia held in a gasp. Wicus had to have lied to the brothers…hopefully. And the brothers could be lying to her about any number of things. Why didn’t Wicus say they got in touch with him? He might have tried, but it’s a little harder to get in touch with you since Asad is glued to your ass.
“Of course.” Jay inclined his chin, smug as hell. “We told him the Empire had no desire to control him or his territory. He agreed and will leave his troops in the north.”
Well, the latter had already been the plan. The former was probably a lie. Wicus was a man of his word, yet he was also practical. Would he find advantages to Jay’s offer? He might assume Jay’s word was as good as Ashni’s, and then all bets were off. She’d press on if he dared to believe the brothers. I’ll have Layla get in touch with him and find out what’s going on with Wicus. At least Thia has Saffi.
“You think you can outflank us, princess?” Asad sneered, using her title as if it was a curse.
“We’ve been to war,” Jay said. “You’ve only played a game.”
Asad released her hair and kicked her in the ribs. Pain rippled through her body. Coughing, she curled into a ball to protect herself. If only I could laugh in their faces. I’ve p
layed a game. They hadn’t figured what was going on yet.
“You shouldn’t go behind our backs and try to do things. You’re only here because we allow it,” Asad said.
Liar. The moment they got rid of her; they’d be faced with consequences. Hell, even the way they wielded power through her now was illegal. Killing her, though, would start a revolution or create all sorts of other chaos. No matter how much Chandra might love her children, she’d need to do something about this nonsense.
“I’m here because you need me,” she said.
“Nakia,” Saniyah said, wide eyes locked on her. “Don’t.”
Nakia laughed. She couldn’t not. The tension in Asad’s face every time she said something was more than enough to keep her talking. For a brief second, it seemed that he recalled she hurt him, both physically and verbally.
Asad leaned down and grabbed her, fingers wrapping completely around her neck. “Do you like this?” he asked.
She stared him in the eye. “We both know if your big brother didn’t have Saniyah, I’d have put my knife between your ribs that first time.”
Asad blew a column of smoke through his nose. “You really like to get beaten, don’t you?”
“You hit me because you can’t hit Ashni,” Nakia replied. She knew all of this happened because they couldn’t touch Ashni.
He squeezed. “Because Ashni’s dead. She’s not coming back to avenge you.”
She choked for a moment, gasping for air, and then he eased his grip just enough to let her respond. “I don’t need her to avenge me. I can protect myself and my people.”
Both brothers laughed. “You can’t even protect your ribs,” Jay said.
“Neither can he,” Nakia snapped back. Jay gave her a solid punch to the ribs, causing her to grunt, and still she pushed on. “I can protect a legacy.”
“What legacy? Ashni’s filthy habit of bonding with barbarians?”
“Like your dad?”
Jay punched her in the shoulder, and pain burned through her. It felt like he shattered her entire body with one blow. The yell boiled up her throat. She couldn’t keep it in.
Blood Rain (Warrior Class Book 3) Page 18
