The back of Nakia’s throat burned and tears were close; she swallowed them. The pregnancy made her emotional. She needed focus. Control. And she needed Naren to tell her Tariq and Tiq were safe!
Layla came up from a shadow with a scroll in hand, and Nakia couldn’t help but smile. It ached with hope. Layla smirked. That was all Nakia needed. More confirmation came from a bellow as Asad charged into the room.
“You dare fuck with me!” Asad flung a fireball at Nakia’s face.
Layla leaped in front of Nakia and opened a void, vanishing the fire. “You want to play? I’m game now.”
Nakia gasped at the gaping hole of blackness in front of them that had eaten the flame so readily. When Layla snapped her fingers, the void vanished.
Asad chuckled. “So, you actually think building an army to take me will work out?”
“That army is to protect the people of Tariq and Tiq,” Nakia replied.
Asad shook his head. “The second your troops engaged mine, you started a rebellion against the throne. My mother will use the might of the Empire against you and yours.”
Nakia inclined her chin. “I don’t care. You won’t massacre Layla’s people.”
She didn’t know what Chandra would do, yet something inside of her said it would be the right thing, even if she was fighting Jay and Asad.
Snarling, Asad’s fists flickered to life, flames dancing on each one like a hot promise. Layla put her hands up as well, black smoke flickering over her knuckles. He tossed flames at the base of the throne, igniting it. A burst of hot air washed over Nakia, singeing her eyebrows, blackening the edges of her robes. The fire shot up higher, so she raised her hands to cover her face.
Layla grabbed Nakia’s arm and together they fell into a shadow. For a brief moment, Nakia feared they were running. To hell with that! It was time to take a stand now that thousands of lives weren’t on the line.
They emerged from a shadow in the throne room, a few paces away from the throne. The throne still crackled, flames licking the sides, cinders sparking to the ceiling. Servants rushed away, darting into the hallways and closing the doors. Smoke billowed toward them.
Asad threw a column of fire at them. Layla shoved Nakia out of the way and then put her hands up, trapping the fire in a void. The void extinguished the flaming column.
“Light will always be overcome by Darkness,” Layla said.
“You savage Shadow Beasts and your obsession with evil,” Asad sneered. “The Sun always banishes the Dark.”
Twin pillars of fire swirled around Asad up to the ceiling. Layla didn’t flinch as the temperature in the room climbed higher than the fire. Black fumes wafted from Layla, growing with every passing second. Layla’s eyes went black, and the right side of her face was hidden in a shadow. Glowing red spots popped up in the onyx aura, and the aura growled. This was nothing like when Layla sparred with Ashni. This was her true power, raw, unrestrained, and hungry. The walls shook.
Nakia was so invested in their display that she crumpled when something hit her from behind. Her knees slammed into the floor, aching from the impact, and her very bones shook. White-hot pain burned through her body, licking under her skin. It felt like she had been thrown off of a cliff. She coughed. A long line of drool hit the floor.
Nakia glanced up at the imposing visage of Jay towering over her with Saniyah just a step behind him. She blocked out a high-pitched ringing in her ears and gritted her teeth. Get up. Not that she’d be able to stop whatever he was about to do on her feet either, but she wouldn’t take anything on the floor again.
“We can easily subject you to the same punishment Amal has to live with,” Jay said, staring at her as if she was an ant.
“Fuck Amal,” Nakia managed to breathe the response out.
Jay went to grab Nakia, and Saniyah grabbed his wrist. He backhanded her and Saniyah went down in a heap. Darkness engulfed Nakia. Back in a shadow. When she emerged, she was in a room with Layla and Saniyah. Okay, living to fight another day might be the right move here. It wasn’t like she could help Layla do anything when she couldn’t move.
“Wait here. I have to get my mother,” Layla said.
Nakia wasn’t sure where “here” was. Layla vanished. Why does she need to get her mother?
Saniyah put a hand on Nakia’s shoulder. “Are you all right?” Saniyah asked, her voice soft, calm.
Nakia schooled her features to be as composed as Saniyah. “Yes, of course.”
It wasn’t like that was the first time a brute hit her, though it felt like everything inside of her turned to dust. How did Saniyah put up with such blows?
“You’re bleeding.”
Nakia arched an eyebrow. “What?”
Saniyah pointed at her and she followed the finger down. The front of her robe was streaked with blood from her waist down. She gasped.
“What the hell?” Nakia said.
Shadows spread from the corner of the room, and Layla and Samar appeared.
Samar’s eyes went directly to Nakia. “Shit, this is not good.”
Nakia wasn’t sure what that meant, but Samar began ordering her about. Something was wrong. Cramps started in her stomach. Something was wrong with the baby.
***
Ashni found herself on her ass again in the hall. She snarled, as Adira stood over her, brown eye hard as an off-color diamond. This wasn’t a sparring match. None of them ever were. They were all lessons in restraint for Adira to not slaughter her.
“You’re still so damn weak,” Adira said.
“Says you.” Ashni took a breath before climbing to her feet. She put her fists up. They had been banned from using weapons after Adira almost decapitated her not too long ago.
“Yes, me, the woman who’s about to put you on your ass again. When was the last time you downed me?”
That was a good question. Ashni felt the most like herself as she had in weeks and she could barely touch Adira. She’s not this good, so I must still be weak. Yet she could move fluidly, she got regular amounts of sleep now, and she wasn’t constantly being rubbed down with ointments. She felt like herself. She should be able to at least touch Adira.
“You know, maybe you’re as pathetic as Jay. He faced me once and learned never to do it again. Maybe you’re scared of me,” Adira said, the taunt as clear as the curl of her lips.
“Like hell I am!” Ashni advanced, guard up. “I didn’t even fear the Amir when he was alive. I’d never be afraid of you.”
Lips pursed, Adira stood in her fighting position. “Then what else could it be? Maybe I’ve been holding back.”
A horrifying possibility. Ashni had beaten Adira many times since taking command of the Roshan military. What if Adira had been letting her win? It would help her confidence and help her gain the respect of the soldiers. What if it was all a lie?
Adira was one of the greatest warriors she had ever met, especially without a talent or magic or witchcraft. Adira had her wits and her body and used both with masterful precision. Maybe Ashni never could defeat Adira.
A sharp pain in her jaw snapped Ashni out of her thoughts. She stumbled from the hit to the mouth, and she dodged the next blow. She dipped, evaded, ducked, and then ended up kicked in the chest. On the floor again.
Adira yelled, frustrated. “Seriously? It’s like I haven’t taught you anything! You’re so fucking useless now!”
Ashni gritted her teeth and sucked up all the pain in her chest. “I’m not useless. I’m the leader.”
Adira scoffed. “To think the Amir chose you. He chose wrong. Then again, so did I since I chose to ride with you.”
It was like lightning struck Ashni in her belly. She rushed Adira, which she knew only proved Adira so right. You thought you were a leader, but you’re not. You thought you were a good spouse, but your kitten cries in your arms. Your best friend wants to kill you. So, who was she?
“Stop daydreaming!” Adira’s knuckles were on her cheek again and she was on the floor.
The tang of iron on her tongue jolted part of Ashni’s brain, pushing her off of the floor. Her body moved like she knew it could, how it should. And then Adira was finally the one on the floor. They boxed until they were both panting, sprawled out on the floor.
That was much more natural, even if it wasn’t the desired outcome. Just being able to go at Adira until they both were exhausted felt good to Ashni. Showing that she was back to her old self—for the most part—was even better. Next time they sparred, she needed to win and then she’d force them to tell her what the hell was going on.
Ashni wiped sweat from her brow, her long hair plastered to her forehead and frazzled out in all directions. It was so much longer than she usually kept it. It needed braids. She leaned against the wall, her hair acting as a decent pillow.
She took a deep breath and gathered her courage. “Why do you hate me?”
Adira blew out a long breath as she sat up as well. “I don’t hate you. I don’t do this because I hate you.”
“You look at me with an intense hatred all the time, like an enemy. Sometimes, I can feel it.” Ashni pressed a hand to her gut.
“Oh.” Adira turned away and seemed to chew on her words, like she wasn’t sure if she should say it. She spoke low, like Ashni wasn’t meant to hear, but she couldn’t stop herself from saying it. “You look like them.”
“Like who?” Ashni cocked an eyebrow.
Adira sighed. “You’re still not ready.”
Ashni growled. She was sick of hearing that. “What if that’s it?”
“What?” Adira’s head snapped back to look at her.
“What if I’m not ready because you all keep telling me I’m not?” That was what she heard every single day. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. “I feel like myself. Hell, maybe even better. But Nakia won’t let me help, you’re ready to kill me, and Samar is telling me my body is weird.”
“I’m trying to prepare you.” Adira rubbed her neck, looking uncomfortable.
“I feel good, ready. How am I supposed to feel when the best people I know tell me I’m not enough?”
Adira hung her head. “Maybe we are holding you back.”
It seemed like she got through to Adira, so might as well continue on. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”
Adira gave Ashni a smirk. “So your hellcat can devour me? Please.”
“Since when are you scared of Nakia?” Ashni asked.
Adira pulled her legs up to rest her arms against her knees. She smiled. Actually smiled. It had been ages since she’d done that in Ashni’s presence. “You’re going to be so proud of her when you find out about this. So proud.”
She was proud of her spouse regardless. “Then why are you so angry? Who do I look like?”
Adira shook her head. The story would remain a mystery. It took away the high Ashni had at fighting Adira to a stalemate, and her stomach sank into a pit. Change the world…how had her mother read her so wrong? How did I ever think I could become great in the sense Adira meant? How could she do that when she became the worst version of herself? It seemed the poison had worked.
“I should get us something to eat,” Adira said.
“Food would be nice, although Samar usually makes me take something with the food. Wherever she is today.” Curious, Ashni poked her head into the room and gazed around, but she didn’t see Samar anywhere. Ashni couldn’t remember a time since she had woken up that Samar wasn’t in her corner putting together some type of treatment.
Adira let out a pitiful laugh. “I know.”
“Yeah, so Samar can blame you if I eat without whatever medicine she’d want me to take.”
Adira chuckled, sounding a little more genuine now. “And she’ll be pissed if I don’t feed you if she’s gone for a while.”
“Where’d she go, anyway?”
Adira didn’t answer. Ashni scowled. This wouldn’t do. Something had to give. Maybe she was a burden. “Would it be…easier if I had died?”
Adira rushed to Ashni’s seated form. “Never fucking say that!” She grabbed Ashni’s biceps and squeezed. “How dare you? You’re so fucking selfish. You’re not so special that everything happens because of you.”
Ashni didn’t mean to, but she yelled, “Because I’m not special, not great? Because you chose wrong? Because my father chose wrong?”
Adira growled. “Shut up.”
Ashni rose. “First, I just want to help. Second, look me in the face and tell me that your pain and suffering isn’t my fault.”
In silence, Adira walked away, the movement beyond a gut punch. Like Ashni wasn’t even worth her time, wasn’t worth her fury anymore. Ashni’s world had collapsed around her, and she hadn’t even been allowed to see it. She told you she chose wrong.
Ashni resisted the urge to punch the wall, not wanting to risk damaging her hand. Taking some time alone to freshen up, she then ignored Varaza staring at the floor in her room and crawled in the bed. What was the point in living if she let everyone she loved down? The gods chose wrong. All this time I thought I was Chosen for greatness and all I’ve done is let my people down. I’ve ruined it all, just like nobles used to whisper about me. I’ve ruined his legacy.
“Hey, stop your pity party and eat,” Adira said, putting a tray full of food on her bed. When did she get back?
Ashni grunted in response. Her stomach wouldn’t hold much food.
Adira popped her hard on the thigh. “Stop being a little bitch and eat.”
“You can leave it and then you can leave,” Ashni replied.
“Eat.”
Ashni growled, ready to tell Adira to shove it up her ass, but what good would that do? She sat up and accepted the meal tray. She ate the vegetables, beans, and bread and drank the honeyed tea. Silence settled in the room.
After some time, Adira took a breath. “It’s not your fault.”
Yeah, that was why Adira was trying to hurt her. That was why everyone shut her out. She scowled. “You’ve already made it known.”
Pulling up a chair, Adira rubbed her palms together. “It’s easier to hurt you than to face the fact that I’m the one at fault. I’m the one who can’t protect the right people. If you go down, I should be able to hold it together until you can get back up.”
“Why? You’re not me.”
Adira glowered at her. “No shit!”
Ashni held up a hand. “I don’t mean that as an insult. If I go down, I expect you to back up Nakia and Layla, like you do me. You’re the voice of reason. You keep us grounded as we get caught up in lofty ambitions. I’m sure you did that.”
“I’m supposed to keep you safe when we’re out.”
“What?” Ashni looked at Adira like she had eight heads. “I’m not a little kid anymore, Adira. You’re supposed to save me from me being me, nothing more.”
Adira shook her head. “And I didn’t. You got poisoned.”
Ashni snorted. Almost dying didn’t usually throw them off balance like this. They did it too often. “I’ve been poisoned before.”
“You didn’t see what this poison did to you. It was like nothing I’ve ever seen, and I hadn’t protected you from it. You almost died. I wasn’t there for you.”
Ashni sucked her teeth. “You gonna throw yourself in front of me?” She’d never stand for that. That wasn’t Adira’s job.
Adira nodded. “Like you’d do.”
Ashni narrowed her eyes. “This wasn’t your fault. You did what you were supposed to do.”
“And so did you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Ashni laughed. “You tried to seriously hurt me on multiple occasions. Samar took our blades away.”
Adira’s shoulders dropped. “I’m taking it out on you.”
I look like them. But…who? “I’m sure you’re right to. You’re not one to fly off the handle at me unless I deserve it. Even when it brought you the wrath of the biggest jackasses in the kingdom. There’s never been a reason for you to back me.”
Adira slapped
Ashni in the back of the head. “Are you really this much of an idiot? Of course there’s a reason to back you. I believe in your dumb ass.”
Ashni sputtered. “You just said you chose wrong.”
“I was angry! But I still believe in you. I’ve believed in you since that first battle. Hell, before that, I heard whispers of the Amir’s daughter, possibly chosen by the gods because she wielded lightning. Or maybe even the daughter of a god herself and they said this like it was a bad thing. Instead, Khalid presented you proudly. You were his. You were his chosen, and he was the first person to ever see the real me.”
“So?”
“He entrusted you to me and you took to me. You were humble enough for instruction, unlike your older brothers. And when I met your mother, I could see why she chose you. You truly are the best mix of them. I’ve been proud to teach you and stand by you.”
Ashni groaned as she finally realized what Adira was to her, even when she tried her damnedest to fight it. “How the fuck am I the middle child even in my emotional family?”
Adira chuckled. “I’ve been a poor older sister if that’s the case.”
“I’ve always thought of you like an aunt. You seem so much wiser than I am and more put together and mature, but nope. I forget you’re only a few years older than I am, yet I’d give up almost anything for you. If you’re upset with me, I’d let you take your anger out on me with the hopes it would make things better for you. You’re my sister.”
A small, soft smile settled on Adira’s face. “It might not seem like it right now, but I’m honored. Shit is hard. Harder than it’s ever been, and no, I can’t tell you. Your kitten will beat my ass, and I know she’s tough enough to make it work.”
“She’s a force.” Ashni laughed again. It was one of the reasons she loved Nakia.
“That she is.”
Silence fell over the room, and Ashni stared into her plate for a long moment. She should feel better, yet she didn’t. She was pressed, crumbled up. Adira was another sister she let down then. And that force Ashni loved so much still couldn’t count on her. Adira might have been upset when she said it, but she seemed to be right. She chose wrong.
Blood Rain (Warrior Class Book 3) Page 21
