‘So, how old is Shambles? He’d have to be eighty at least if he was around when Old Col was young.’
‘That’s the lucky bit. Thanks to Old Col’s spell, he hasn’t a hair of grey on him, and he’s so sprightly. He acts more like he’s our age,’ Ondine said with a shrug of her shoulders as she dried the last spoon. She picked up the cutlery and clunked it all in the drawers. ‘Phew, that’s it for the night. I’m fair knackered.’
‘You’re what?’ Cybelle asked.
‘Just something Shambles says.’
When Ondine and Cybelle tucked themselves into their beds later that night, Shambles leapt into the room and dived for Ondine, snuggling into the warmth of her neck.
‘What are you doing, Shambles? You’re supposed to sleep in the laundry,’ Ondine said as his soft warm fur caressed her skin. It wasn’t right to have a man in her bed, but then Shambles wasn’t really a real man as such, so perhaps that made it OK. What with all the shocks and revelations today, she barely knew what to think. And he wasn’t really in the bed, it was more like sharing a pillow, and where was the harm in that?
‘Aye, but the laundry’s mockit.17 This is the nice.’
‘He’s talking to you, isn’t he? What’s he saying?’ Cybelle whispered.
‘I have no idea. He’s reverted to Scottish.’
‘Aw, lass, I like ye, because ye feed me leftovers and cold stovies.18 As a return favour, I’ll tell ye everything your parents said about Marguerite when they thought no one was listening.’
In a few hours’ time, after the sun came up, there would be an attempt on the Duke’s life at the station. But right now Ondine was more interested in dramas closer to home.
‘Yer da says she’s too young, but he can’t see that ye’ve all grown up and he can’t control ye any more. Yer ma was more circumspect,’ Shambles said as he made himself comfortable on Ondine’s pillow. ‘She says Thomas would move in and then they’d have an extra pair of hands at the bar, and Margi wouldnae work out front any more and be leered on by drunks. Sure and it would be better if she married and stayed close to home, than married and ran away.19 She also said she’d get a refund on the Summercamp, owing to the fact you’ll be needed here now and won’t be going back.’
Ondine shook her head as a wry smile crept over her lips. ‘Trust Ma to appeal to his practical side.’ Secretly she felt glad her mother wanted her back.
‘What did he say?’ Cybelle asked.
The wry smile turned into a huff. ‘I feel like a parrot, having to repeat everything. Shambles, how come Ma and I can hear you and Cybelle can’t?’
A cheeky look crossed Shambles’s face and he winked at Ondine. ‘Because you’re the fairest in the land.’
A giggle percolated in her tummy, but she held it in check. ‘Um, he’s not sure,’ she said, feeling a little embarrassed at the compliment.
High time to switch off the light – that way Cybelle wouldn’t be able to see Ondine grinning. Cybelle also wouldn’t be able to see how furiously she was blushing, judging by the heat pouring through her neck and face as the man in ferret form cuddled against her skin.
‘So, what next?’ Cybelle asked.
Shambles relayed what he heard to Ondine, and Ondine relayed what she heard to Cybelle. ‘Yer ma wants the wedding to happen as soon as possible. They’re planning an engagement party, and yer da will have to get used to having another man around the hoose.’
For a moment Ondine wondered what it would be like having an older brother. Except it wouldn’t really be like having an older brother, because Thomas would be much too polite to boss her around like a real older brother would.
‘Yer da’s main concern is that all of this will give you and Cybelle ideas,’ Shambles added. ‘He thinks it will set a bad example, but Thomas isnae gonna stoat the ba’.20 Your ma had an answer for that too – she said, “How can it be a bad example if they’re married?” She said it was only natural that married people should live together. It was either that or Margi and Thomas elope and live somewhere else, and then we’d be short one barmaid slash kitchen hand slash laundry girl. We’d have to bring in more outside help, and that would mean paying proper wages.’
They thought about this for a little while, until Cybelle said, ‘Don’t you think it’s strange? Da couldn’t wait for us to grow up so we’d be able to help out more. But now that we are older he’s treating us like babies.’
‘I know. It’s driving me crazy. Was he always like this or am I just noticing it more?’ Ondine asked the darkness.
Shambles piped up, ‘I’d say it’s a bit of both. Dads are the same the world over. When their babies grow up and start getting interested in other people, they realise every other randy lad out there is just like they used to be. I guess it’s part of the circle of life.’
Ondine didn’t see it like that. ‘I think that’s what they call hypocrisy. Da just wants it all his own way.’
‘Then you should let him think he’s getting it,’ Shambles muttered.
Despite the late hour, Ondine couldn’t stop her mind from racing. Injustice did that to a girl.
‘Good on Ma for standing up for Margi,’ Cybelle said. ‘By the time they get round to me, it will be much easier, and when it’s your turn, Ondi, they’ll be so worn down they won’t protest.’
That caught Ondine by surprise. ‘What do you mean? What’s going on with you?’
‘Oh, um, you know, I was just talking hypothetically. Goodnight.’ And with that, the middle daughter rolled over to face the wall and pretended to sleep. Except she wasn’t asleep because Ondine didn’t hear any snoring.
‘She’s a dark horse, that one,’ Shambles said, having a chuckle. The giggly movement of his body tickled Ondine’s neck. Margi had kept a big secret, and she’d kept it very well. Maybe Belle knew how to keep a secret too. And what about Ondine’s turn? Who would she fall in love with? she wondered. For some reason, Lord Vincent’s handsome face popped into her mind.
The search for answers about her sisters’ secrets kept Ondine awake for another few minutes, before she succumbed to a mixture of fatigue and the soporific effect of Shambles’s warm, furry body against her and fell asleep.
When the sun came up, there was little time to think about personal matters, as the Duke’s impending doom sat heavily with Ondine and Shambles. Josef was at his overprotective fatherly best, refusing Ondine permission to attend the grand opening of the pedestrian overpass at the station.
‘I need to know what happens, so I can see whether our warning helped the Duke. I mean, what’s the point of us spending all those hours worried about him if we can’t see the outcome for ourselves?’ Ondine protested as she returned to the kitchen from the dining room. They were in the midst of the breakfast service for the hotel’s guests, so they worked and talked at the same time. Something they were very good at.
Da was having none of it. ‘One, it’s potentially dangerous. Two, you have a job to do. Look at all those dishes by the sink – they’ll not clean themselves.’
Nothing could be further from the truth, Ondine thought, as her hands clenched into angry fists at her sides. The bit about ditching work, that is. The rest of it was true. Dishes never cleaned themselves.
More plates of bacon, sausages, eggs and toast were ready, so Ondine took those out to a table. When she came back, her dad still looked cross.
‘Let her go, Da,’ Cybelle interjected. ‘You could go with Ondi if you’re that worried about her safety. I’ll stay and help Chef with food prep for the lunch crowds.’
Chef, who had a real name but nobody used it, was the only true employee at the hotel. As such he was the only one who could be fired. He was tall yet light on his feet as he moved about the kitchen cooking meals and stirring sauces. He wore the same bleached-white uniform every day, although he would need a new one soon judging by the way his pot belly strained against the buttons. Under his white hat flecks of jet-black hair poked out, contrasting sharply with his pale skin.21
All the while the family argued (although they’d deny it was an argument, they’d say it was just debating things, long and heartily, and a bit loudly), Chef stayed out of the line of fire. With his strong and fast hands, he kept busy with another batch of scrambled eggs.
A soft chuckle sounded on Ondine’s shoulder. It came from Shambles. He must be enjoying himself, she thought, a little puzzled. Maybe Shambles liked a bit of argy-bargy?
Ondine cajoled her father again. At times she felt like exploding with frustration. ‘Please let me go, Da.’
‘We both know someone out there . . .’ her father pointed in the direction of the train station, as if they didn’t know where it was ‘. . . wants to kill the Duke. It’s dangerous. What kind of father would I be if I exposed my daughter to that kind of peril? The safest thing for us to do is to stay here.’
Was he being deliberately daft? If Ondine’s eyes could roll any further into her head, she’d be looking into her brain. As much as she tried to keep a cool head, her pulse skipped up a notch and her clenched fists wanted to pummel something. ‘You’ve got it all wrong, Da. Nobody’s going to be interested in us. We’ll stay out of the way. I want to see the people who planned this get caught. I want to see them hauled away, and when that happens, it might be nice if the Duke perhaps caught sight of us and acknowledged our help.’
‘You mean if Lord Vincent caught sight of you,’ Josef countered.
‘You’re impossible!’ Ondine clenched and unclenched her fists in impotent fury. Up until this point, she hadn’t even thought of Vincent. Well, not much anyway, and what chance he’d even be there? Pretty slim, she suspected.
‘It’s a fiddler’s biddin’22 then,’ Shambles said behind her ear, which didn’t help at all.
‘I thought you’d have a bit more natural curiosity about you.’ Ondine tried one more time to bend her father’s will to her own. ‘We spent all that time last night warning him, and now you’re not even interested to see how it turns out? What if by being there, we can stop it somehow? There could even be a reward in it for you.’
‘Aye, and then yer arse’ll fall awf!’23 Shambles said, rumbling with laughter.
A terse silence filled the kitchen, broken only by the sound of Chef cracking eggs into the poaching pan.
Her father practically glowered at her. ‘You’re that keen, aren’t you? Fine, we’ll go, but we’re not staying more than half an hour. Then it’s straight back to work for you.’
Tension fell away from Ondine’s shoulders, making her feel taller and lighter. ‘Thank you, Da.’ She kissed him firmly on the cheek, then gave him a huge hug, nearly knocking Shambles off her shoulder in the process. A broad smile split her face. ‘This is going to be so exciting!’
17 Filthy and disgusting. Like armpits and roadkill.
18 Leftovers from the stove. Builds up the immune system.
19 The average age for a first marriage in Brugel is one of the lowest in Europe. It’s 22.4 for men and 21.1 for women, so Marguerite is bang on average. In Poland it is 26.2 for men, 23 for women. Sweden is 32.9 for men, 30.4 for women. Brugel’s positively medieval welfare system for single parents also makes it a more secure option for a woman to be in a marriage before having children. There is no single-parent pension. Somebody really should do something about it.
The link between early age of first marriage and lack of anything decent on television is yet to be proved.
20 ‘Stoat the ba’’ is when a man and a woman love each other very much and have a very special cuddle. Only in this case the woman is very young and isn’t yet legally supposed to be having those sorts of cuddles. And the man is well aware of that fact.
21 Chefs work long and odd hours. They are awake at night and catch up on sleep during the day. It’s rare for them to get out much, or to see the sun. Just as you should never trust a thin chef (because if they’re not eating their food, neither should you), you should never trust a chef with a tan.
22 ‘A fiddler’s biddin’’ is a last-minute invitation.
23 To say this is flat-out rude. It means ‘you’re talking pish’. Keep track of these; there’ll be a test later on.
Chapter Five
A huge crowd gathered that morning at the railway station, bringing a carnival atmosphere to something that was normally, well, pedestrian. The smell of fried onions and sausages at the fund-raising stalls filled the air, making Ondine’s stomach rumble. Buskers entertained the crowds and played violins and accordions. Women dressed as fairies did a roaring trade painting children’s faces in lurid colours.
‘I’m off to get me some sausage.’ Shambles leapt off Ondine’s shoulder and disappeared into the milling crowd in a blur of black.
‘No, Shambles, wait!’
Too late, the ferret was gone. Damn that impetuous bampot, she thought, borrowing one of his words to suit her means.
‘Right then, let’s get a good position so we can see the Duke cut the ribbon,’ Da said, holding Ondine by the hand. This only served to take her further from where she last saw Shambles.
‘Hang on, Da, Shambles has run off. I need to find him,’ she said, trying to tamp down the rising sense of panic in her gut.
‘He’ll be fine. Come on.’ Squeezing through the crowd, Da found them a good vantage spot, where they could see the Duke standing at the podium, a pair of scissors in his hands. Standing beside him was a woman of indeterminate age. She had that caught-in-a-wind-tunnel look about her, with arched eyebrows that looked like they were trying to run away from her. Sunlight sparkled off the tiara that sat on her blonde head. Under her arm, she held a furry white dog.
‘Is that the Duchess?’ Ondine asked.
Da laughed out loud. ‘She wishes! No love, that’s the Infanta, the Duke’s oldest sister.’
‘She looks so fancy!’ Ondine saw more sparkles of sunlight – even the little dog had jewels in its collar. The thought of the small animal having such a fancy collar made her wonder about Shambles, and whether he might look quite handsome with sparkles around his neck.
Another chuckle from her father. ‘Fancy is one way to put it. A bit overdone perhaps. She might have been Duchess if her little brother wasn’t born.’
The crowd milled about them and someone stepped on Ondine’s foot. A ripple of worry rippled through her. Shambles could easily be trampled in the crush.
‘Da, we need to find Shambles.’
‘He’ll be wherever the food is. Now hush, let’s listen to what the Duke –’
Shots rang out. Real gunshots that were so loud you’d swear someone had smacked you on the inside of your head with a brick.
People screamed.
‘Get down!’ Da yelled. With a jolt he pulled Ondine to the ground, shielding her body with his.
Confusion and turmoil took hold. Everyone around them crouched down, huddling in fear. Noise and screaming filled the sky. Police officers blew their whistles. From a gap under her father’s arm, Ondine saw a man running away down the street.
People say that when a big, scary event happens, it takes place in slow motion. In this case, nothing could be further from the truth as it all took place at lightning speed. The police closed in, chased down the culprit for half a block, then tackled him into submission.
‘They got him!’ Ondine said with relief.
The Duke must have taken their warning seriously. He must have organised more police. Ready to pounce at the slightest provocation.
For the next few minutes everyone stayed low to the ground as the police rounded up another two suspects. With her heartbeat hammering in her ears, Ondine heard her father say something. She couldn’t make out the exact words because her ears were still ringing from the gunshots.
‘I said, “They’ve given the all-clear,”’ Josef said even louder this time.
But still nobody moved. Well, why would they? Only moments ago shots had rung out above their heads. From their crouched position, Ondine looked around to where the Duke was, to see if the show would g
o on. The Infanta remained huddled behind a chair. The Duke was on his feet, looking perplexed. In his hand was his traditional three-cornered hat, only now it had a bullet-sized hole through the top of it.
‘Ohmygosh! They nearly killed him,’ Ondine said, her heart still beating far too quickly.
Josef wrapped his arms around her and held her close, kissing the top of her head. ‘Now do you see why I didn’t want you to come here? If anything happened to you, I’d never forgive myself.’
‘Thanks, Da.’ She wanted to say, ‘You worry too much,’ but in the present circumstances, his worries were perfectly justified.
‘I love you so much, my darling girl. And I know you’re all grown up now, but I can’t help it. To me, you’ll always be my baby and that’s just how it is.’
‘It’s OK.’ Ondine returned the hug, not caring that he’d called her a baby. At this moment, she’d forgive him just about anything. Trembles rippled through her body as she let the shock take hold. ‘I love you too, Da.’
So much remained unsaid as they embraced. Ondine nearly suffocated in the crushing hug but she didn’t care. As a father, he suffocated her in so many ways but right now she wasn’t complaining.
To their surprise, the Duke indicated he’d carry on with the ceremony. The mere fact that he was bodily unharmed brought many more people to their feet. The cheers ringing in Ondine’s ears told her they’d done the right thing. They’d warned the Duke, he’d organised police protection and the crowd had witnessed a nasty scare rather than an assassination.
‘Right then,’ the Duke called out, gathering his composure and dusting himself off. He picked up the enormous ceremonial scissors and held the blades apart. ‘I declare this new pedestrian access open.’
What an amazing man. Ondine marvelled at how quickly he’d recovered his senses. By now she and Josef were on their feet too. The Infanta, however, kept her distance from the podium.
Ondine Page 4
