I spend most of my free time in my apartment, reading—that or running my wolf down by the falls. Last night, I let my wolf roam a little farther even though I know there is a pack in the area. But it doesn’t matter. I won’t let it matter … even if I am curious. I plan to stay away from them and the boundary lines from now on. I don’t need or want the attention, and my greatest fear is having them send me back to the Hatcher pack.
Slipping a set of black flats on with my uniform, I make my way downstairs to start my day.
****
After my shift ends I decide to go for a run. I dress in my regular jogging clothes and make my way out.
“Going for a jog?” Ingrid asks as she locks up.
“Yup.” I regard Ingrid, my chest filling with love. She may not be my blood relation, but in the last year she has become a surrogate mother to me. She is exactly how my mother used to be. Loving, compassionate, and most of all giving. Ingrid is the type of woman I aspire to be one day. Her hazel eyes surrounded by crow’s feet are always smiling, while her blonde hair is piled on top of her head in a messy bun.
“I wish you wouldn’t go alone at this time of night. There are dangerous people in this world.” Her brow creases with worry as she watches me closely. I want to laugh at the idea of a mugger trying to grab me. I am probably the only woman living in this town that doesn’t have to worry about something like that. Instead of saying that to her, I pull the small can of mace from my pocket and show it to her.
“I’m not unprotected, Ingrid.” I smile at her.
“Okay. Please be safe and I will see you in the morning.” She waves before getting in her car and driving away.
I jog through town, waving at Mr. Simpson, one of my regulars, as he walks his dog. Heading out of town, I make my way over to the waterfall where I always shift. As I enter the clearing, it’s the same feeling I always have when I get here. Peace.
In the moonlight, there are few things as beautiful as this waterfall. The water appears silver in the lunar glow, and the white arum lilies shine luminously. The rushing sound of the water soothes my soul.
Deciding to go for a swim before I shift to my wolf, I get undressed, fold my clothes neatly and place the pile, along with my shoes, behind a tree. Slowly I wade in, enjoying the coolness of the water against my skin. I feel overheated and my skin feels stretched tight over my bones. It has been that way since I got here, and I can’t explain it. I have the most vivid dreams about a man whose face I can’t see no matter how hard I try, and more often than not I wake up with my breasts feeling heavy and an intense ache between my legs.
Dipping my head beneath the water, I clear my mind and take a deep breath as I reemerge. Pushing my hair back, I stare up at the stars and thank the goddess again that I am finally free.
A sound to my left startles me, drawing my attention. Emerging from the treeline is the largest black wolf I have ever seen. I don’t move, afraid to even breathe. I may be able to defend myself against a would-be human attacker, but a wolf, especially one this size, is not something I would ever take on.
Slowly he pads forward before lying down in front of the pool, resting his head on his front paws, his yellow eyes watching me intently. As the fear starts to dim—because he clearly isn’t intent on attacking me—a new scent assaults my senses. Dark and rich, like freshly made coffee. When it hits me, I am transported back to my dreams. Instantly my nipples pebble harder than they already are, my breasts starting to feel heavy, and the throbbing between my legs returns. The arousal is so intense that my knees threaten to buckle.
The black wolf whines before crawling closer on his belly. Even in wolf form, his gaze appears pained. But as I take another deep breath of fresh air, catching the strong scent again, I remember. I remember the last time a smell affected me this way, turned me inside out. I remember the pain that followed once I was rejected. The humiliation of not being good enough for the mate the goddess chose for me.
But it isn’t possible. I have only heard stories of wolves finding a second mate, old wives tales that very few put any stock in. I don’t know anyone who has ever experienced it.
“What do you want?” I question.
Slowly, he starts to shift back to human form. I watch in amazement as the most beautiful man I have ever seen appears before me. If I ever thought that Slade was attractive, I knew nothing. The man before me is gorgeous, with dark hair and a chiseled jaw with a little scruff. Broad shoulders lead down to an expansive chest with beautiful artwork tattooed over his arms. My gaze skims over a perfectly defined abdomen with a V indent beside the hip I have the sudden urge to lick, down to an impressive cock. A fully erect cock.
He stands perfectly still as I take my fill of his physique, but as I stare at him, his cock twitches. As part of the shifter community, I am used to nudity. I have seen my fair share of naked men and cocks in all shapes and sizes, but never in my nineteen years have I felt the urge to get down on my knees, naked, and present myself to a male.
I may be a virgin, but I am not some simpering idiot. Since my humiliation at the hands of my former mate, I have educated myself. I watch porn. I masturbate. I may never have had sex, but I do know the mechanics of it.
“What do you want?” I demand again, straightening my shoulders.
“My mate,” he snaps in return.
Chapter Four
Caine
My cock throbs harshly between my thighs as I watch her standing in the water. The water only covers half of her, putting her breasts on full display. The creaminess of her skin glows in the light of the full moon. I want nothing more than to run my tongue across her every inch before taking a nipple into my mouth. Her voice flows over me, causing goosebumps to rise across my entire body. The scent she puts off reminds me of home, clean washing, and sunshine, and I instantly know that I am completely addicted to it.
She is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen in my life, naked in the moonlight. And that is truly saying a lot because I have seen hundreds of naked women in my twenty-five years. Although her hair is wet, I can see that it will be light blonde. She has high cheekbones that have a blush to them and full, plump, kissable lips. Her breasts are ample but not too large and tipped with nipples the same color as her blush. They are drawn tightly to her skin and entice me to the point that I lick my lips.
An hourglass figure leads into wide hips, but I am unable to see more of her beneath the shimmering water. I growl at the insane jealousy flowing through me. I mean, the water is caressing her while I am unable to. Her shoulders are squared as we face off against each other.
“I am not your mate,” she replies.
Her voice wraps around me and captivates me, but her words have anger rising to the surface. Before I can think about my actions, I wade into the water. Her eyes show her fear, but she doesn’t move an inch to back away. Pride sweeps through me. My mate is strong and will be able to stand by my side through good times and bad.
Stopping inches away from her, I stare into her violet eyes.
“You are my mate. I feel it in my bones. We are fated to be together.”
My voice is raspy with the need to have her, to hold her, and to be close to her. In my entire life, I have never felt such intense arousal, the need to claim and protect someone I only laid eyes on for the first time a few minutes ago.
“No.” Her gaze hardens as she watches me. “I am no one’s mate. I have been refused by my one true mate and am destined to spend my life alone. The goddess has chosen this path for me, and I will not stray from my fate.”
Anger washes over me, burning from the inside out. Who would refuse this gift from above? Who would be able to? Add to that the fact that this asshole, her intended mate, could have killed her by refusing her. As shifters we are bound to our mates, and refusing them could annihilate them. Just like losing a mate could be the end for the surviving partner. My wolf claws at the surface, trying to get out. He wants revenge against the lowlife motherfucker that could hu
rt this perfect female.
My calloused hands cup her face before I scan her features more closely. She seems to be unharmed, but fear is coursing through me along with the anger.
“How can that be true?” I whisper hoarsely.
“Simple,” she replies quietly. “On the day of my eighteenth birthday the mating draw came over me, but I had been so sheltered by my pack that I had no idea what was happening. When my Alpha explained, I was so relieved, but the next moment became my greatest nightmare come to life as he proceeded to refuse me.”
Tear shimmer in her eyes, and I feel my heart break on her behalf. I cannot see any reason to refuse her, to refuse any mate, and by most, it is unheard of. Matings are not necessarily of a sexual nature, but simply a pairing of like-minded people sharing a life together. But to refuse a mate? I would never be able to do it. Staring at her, I feel as though she is half of my heart beating outside of my body.
“What is your name, my moon?” I question gently.
“Peyton.”
“Peyton.” Her name is silk on my lips, like I was meant to say it my whole life. “My name is Caine Beckett. I am Alpha to the Katu pack. I am so sorry that happened to you. I cannot begin to imagine the pain you have been through. But now that I’ve found you, you never have to fear being hurt that way again.”
She frowns at me before pulling away.
“I am not your mate,” she repeats.
She turns from me, walking toward the edge of the pool. For a moment words fail me as I watch her near the edge. Her perfect ass is on full display, rivulets of water dripping down.
“Would you put me through what he did to you? Would you put yourself through that again?” My voice sweeps across the river and fills the clearing.
She stills her movements and turns toward me. Her face is a mask of horror, reminding me that in her life she has experienced true pain. The kind of pain that one doesn’t simply forget. The kind of pain I want nothing more than to soothe and make a distant memory for her.
Chapter Five
Peyton
His question catches me off guard, causing me to turn back to him. Even though it has been just over a year since my refusal, the pain is still fresh in my mind. I would never wish that kind of anguish on any person.
“I don’t have to refuse you.”
I’m grasping at straws, and although I feel the magnetic pull between us, I am terrified of giving myself over to this man.
“If you don’t want me,” he swallows thickly, “you will have to refuse me. Perhaps the goddess will see fit to bless me with a second mate as she has done for you. Someone who wants to share my life. I cannot live knowing my mate is out in the world and doesn’t want me to be a part of her. I would rather die when you refuse me than to live that way.”
When he speaks of another mate, another woman being with him, irrational jealousy surges through me. I may be afraid of giving myself over to him, and the idea of refusing him terrifies me to no end, but I don’t want him to replace me. It doesn’t make any sense. The moment the thought enters my mind, I am aware of how childish I sound.
“What do you want from me?”
“Give me a chance. Let me prove to you that I will do everything in my power to keep you safe and make you happy. It’s all I want.” His gaze doesn’t stray from mine as he speaks.
For long moments neither of us speak. I want to give him a chance, but I am terrified. There are two choices before me—live in fear, letting my past dictate the future. Or I can take the plunge, jump in with both feet and give Caine a chance.
My decision must show on my face. Before I can speak another word, he crosses the short distance between us and melds his lips to mine. One hand tangles in my wet hair as his other hand lowers to my ass, gripping it tightly. He tilts my head back, causing me to gasp as he slips his tongue inside. He tastes the same way he smells, like dark roast coffee. His rough hand squeezes my ass. I stand with the water caressing my legs as he devours my mouth, his hunger slamming into me. The smell of my own arousal hangs thick in the air, but he doesn’t push for more.
After long minutes he slows the kiss until it is nothing more than a gentle exploration. Slowly, he presses his lips to mine, once, twice, three times, before resting his forehead against mine and taking a deep, shuddering breath.
“Let me take you home to my pack.” He watches me closely while he speaks. “Let me show you what I can offer you as my mate before you make any decisions. Let me prove that I’m worthy of you and that I can make you happy for the rest of our lives. Give me a chance to take away all the pain you’ve been through.”
Memories wash over me as I consider giving this man a chance. I will not survive another refusal. Even if my body could handle it, my heart can’t. Fear is keeping me from making a rational decision. Fear of pain and humiliation and of the unknown. But what if this could be real? What if this is the goddess giving me a second chance? Maybe all the pain I have lived through has prepared me for this exact moment. After all, how will I know true happiness if I have never experienced true pain? With fear in my heart and tears pricking my eyes, I decide to take a chance.
I nod in assent. Even though I only met him minutes ago, even though I know nothing about him, my heart and soul already know the truth. This man holds in his hands the means to either break me or heal me.
****
Arriving at the Katu compound is different than any experience I have ever had. Everyone smiles and waves as we enter. Friendly faces can be seen in all areas around us. I am so used to the open hostility of my pack that I never even considered I may be welcomed into another pack with open arms.
People stop what they are doing the moment we arrive. I am used to a pack fearing its Alpha, never daring to speak against him, pack members going so far as to keep their children out of sight for fear that they may say something to upset the Alpha. The Katu pack is nothing like that.
Pack members approach Caine with smiles instead of fear. Children run up to him, sharing hugs and laughing all the while. Some members of the pack smile in my direction, and a few even go so far as to introduce themselves to me—only adding to my bewilderment.
A woman stares at us, unhappiness clear on her face. She watches every move Caine makes, and when she catches me looking at her she glares at me until I turn away and follow Caine.
In the distance, an older woman sits in front of a wooden cabin, knitting. As everyone goes back to their tasks, we move closer to the old woman. She turns toward us as we approach, and a wide smile spreads across her face.
“Caine!” she exclaims as we near her. “I see you found a new friend.”
“Xavia, this is Peyton. Peyton, meet Xavia, our pack elder.”
Xavia beams as she takes my hand in hers before pulling me close, hugging me against her chest. She is a short, portly woman with wild white hair and bright blue eyes. Her hands cup my face as she keenly takes me in. The crow’s feet around her eyes deepen as she smiles again.
“I dreamt of you for more than a year. Always in my dreams you were crying, holding a broken heart in your cupped hands. I prayed to the goddess that you would find your way to us so that we could help you heal, and it seems my prayers have been answered.”
Tears fill my eyes as she speaks. A pack elder is a special thing for us shifters. They often have the final say in many pack matters. When any pack member has a problem they take it to the pack elder, who will then do all they can to resolve the problem. Pack elders also commune with the goddess, although I am not always sure whether she speaks back. The idea of having that direct link to the goddess always seems to help settle a shifter needing help.
The fact that Caine’s pack elder has dreamt of me and prayed for me says more about Caine and his pack than any words ever could.
“Thank you,” I reply after taking a steadying breath.
Xavia gestures to the empty seats beside her. “Let us talk for a while before my Alpha sweeps you away.”
Both C
aine and I sit without hesitation. Silence reigns for long moments before Xavia speaks again.
“You have been through so much in your life, and it is not my place to say what I know, but I want to make sure that you can live looking forward instead of back.”
“What do you mean?” I question.
“Every member of the pack can smell the mating call between the two of you. Every member can also smell that you are not yet a bonded pair. I want to make sure that as you get to know us and Caine, that you can be open-minded. That you are willing to move beyond the past, the pain, and the heartache, and give him and us a chance. I know you would be a valuable member, not to mention a great mate to our Alpha, if you are only willing to give us a chance.”
She doesn’t break eye contact as she speaks to me. Her voice is calm and soothing, and the smell of lavender floats around her. I understand what it is she is saying and what she wants from me. The very thought terrifies me to my core, causing my pulse to spike and my palms to turn sweaty. Fear courses through my veins. I don’t ever want to live through the pain and humiliation I survived after my mate chose to refuse me. I don’t want to let someone in enough to hurt me.
But I am lonely. Shifters were never meant to be alone, which is why we live in packs. We are social by nature and enjoy being around each other and other people. I want to be loved. To have a pack, a mate, a family. And because of this, even though fear threatens to overwhelm me at every turn, I nod.
“I am terrified. But my heart and soul know that I have to take this chance.”
His Refused Mate Page 2
