by Nancy M Bell
“Leina, tell me what’s wrong. Who has done what?” The receiver hurt her fingers where she gripped it, pressing into her palm. In her heart, a horrible sinking feeling turned her stomach, she knew exactly who had done what. Elsie prayed she was wrong.
“Is something wrong? Was there an accident?” Ike came into the kitchen.
Elsie waved him quiet with her free hand. “Helena, stop crying and tell me what we can do to help.”
“It’s Ruth,” she said, confirming Elsie’s suspicions.
“What about her?”
“She’s run off.”
“Are you sure about that? Maybe she just went out to get a start on the barn chores before the storm gets worse.”
“I’m sure. Maria found a note this morning shoved under the girl’s bedroom door. She’s run off with that…that…boy!”
“Oh my heavens. Not in this storm.” Elsie clutched her sweater closed at the throat as if she were fending off the blast of the blizzard.
“It sounds like they went last night, before the storm blew in. We have no idea where they’ve gone.”
Ike reached out a hand for the phone. “Pape wants to talk to John.” Elsie handed her husband the phone and went to sit beside Agnes.
“Leina, put John on the phone,” Ike demanded, raising his eyebrows at the high pitched wailing Elsie could hear even over at the table. “Tell the children everything is going to all right.” There was a short pause during which the sound of crying faded. “John. Do you have any idea where to start looking for Ruth?”
Elsie attempted to slow the racing of her heart and calm her fears. She studied Ike’s face looking for comfort and some assurance of a positive outcome for the situation. His face alternated between flushed and pale. One work hardened hand scrubbed at his hair, mussing his carefully combed hair.
“Well, that’s it then. There’s nothing we can do until this blizzard blows itself out. The lane is already snowed in. There’s no way to get a vehicle down it and the roads aren’t likely any better. Let us know the minute you hear anything.” Ike ended the call and joined the women at the table. Before he could relay any information Walter stuck his head in the door. “I thought I heard a commotion.”
“Come sit and have some coffee,” Agnes answered. “There’s nothing to be done until the storm lets up.”
“Nothing to be done about what?” Walter joined them and accepted the coffee Agnes handed him.
“John and Helena’s oldest girl has run off with that soldier from Altona,” Ike’s voice was flat.
A shiver raced over Elsie, raising the hairs on her forearms, Ike’s failure to use Ruth’s name made the situation all too serious. Whatever can Ruth be thinking? This isn’t something that will be forgiven easily.
“When did this happen?” Walter leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table.
“Last night before the storm broke from what John said when he called,” Ike spoke again.
“I don’t imagine they’ll get very far in this weather.” Walter glanced at the snow encrusted window pane.
“That’s a small blessing I suppose.” Ike drained his coffee mug and stood up. “I’m going to go start chores.”
Walter got up as well. “I’m coming. It’s a good thing we can follow the fence line to the barn. A person could get turned around very easily in a storm like this.”
“Be careful,” Agnes called after the men.
“Mome, we’re hungry!”
Agnes’ twins came bursting into the kitchen. Any further conversation regarding Ruth was put on hold while breakfast was made. Anna wandered in not long after the twins, also looking for breakfast. By the time the men came back from the barn the children were fed and had gone off to amuse themselves. Elsie and Agnes laid places for Ike and Walter and set platters of pancakes and sausage on the table. The smell of fresh coffee filled the kitchen. Conversation over breakfast was limited to the weather and mundane things. Elsie’s stomach roiled with worry. She pushed the food around her plate but actually ate very little. The ringing of the phone was a welcome distraction. She left the table to answer the call.
“Hello?”
“Mome, have you heard anything?”
“No, Helena. I would have let you know right away. I take it you’ve heard nothing there either?”
“Not a word. Just the note.”
“Does she give you any indication of where they’re planning to go?”
“Nothing. Just that we’re not to worry and this is what she wants. It goes on a bit about how she doesn’t want to hurt us and how much she loves us. Fine way she has of showing it. How am I ever to hold my head up in public again?”
“It’s true, she doesn’t seem to have thought this through very well. What she’s done is not easily forgiven.”
Helena lowered her voice. “I’m not sure John will ever be able to find it in his heart to forgive her transgression against the faith.”
“Perhaps with time,” Elsie suggested.
Leina made a non-committal sound. “I should let you go, Mome. In case Ruth is trying to call.”
“Of course. Let us know the minute you know anything.” Elsie rang off.
She’d no sooner replaced the receiver than the phone shrilled making her jump. “Hello.” Elsie snatched up the receiver again.
“Oma?”
“Ruth? Is that you?” Elsie spoke loud enough for everyone in the kitchen to hear.
“Yes. Are you very angry with me?”
“Angry? No. disappointed yes. I’m not sure you fully realize the gravity of your actions,” Elsie felt compelled to try and impress on the young woman the error of her ways.
“I have thought about it, Oma. A lot. I was studying my catechism and it suddenly dawned on me that none of it meant anything without Fred. Is that so horrid of me? I couldn’t bring myself to pledge my heart to a faith that judges a good man for following his convictions and beliefs.”
Elsie supressed her surprise at the decisiveness in her granddaughter’s voice. “But Ruth, his convictions run counter to the teachings of the church. Thou shalt not kill. When hate fails, love conquers. It goes against everything we believe in to take up arms against another human being.”
Ruth’s sigh echoed over the phone lines. “What about all those Jewish people the Nazis murdered? Are we supposed to just stand by and let that happen? Fred felt he was doing God’s work by helping to free those innocent people. Something more than staying here where it was safe and declaring himself a conscientious objector. He had to follow what he believed in.”
“Ruth, are you saying you believe your pape and grosspape, and your onkels are afraid to face the Nazis? Are you calling them cowards?” Elsie’s voice rose sharply.
“That’s not what I’m saying at all, Oma. Opa and Pape, and the onkels had to do what they thought was right. They had the right to follow their beliefs, why are they so against Fred following his?”
“Ruth,” Elsie tried again to get through to her. “What that boy did goes against God’s teachings. Perhaps he isn’t seeing things clearly. The church will never accept him, and if you continue to associate with him, it will reflect on you, and us.”
“We’ve talked about it a lot, Oma. I think Fred has a right to his beliefs and he had the right to act on them.”
“When are you coming home, Ruth. We can talk about this better in person. And you can speak to the pastor about it. He’ll be able to help you see the error in your thinking.”
“I’m not coming back, Oma. Fred and I are getting married in Brandon, and then we’re heading west to make a fresh start.”
“But, Ruth. This is your home. Surely you aren’t intending to leave your family. You haven’t joined the church yet, and you know you can’t get married without doing that, and without being baptised. You must be married within the faith, Ruth. You must make your confession of your faith.” Elsie’s heart fluttered with agitation in her chest. She refused to believe what Ruth’s words seemed to imply.
“I’m not coming back,” Ruth insisted.
“This is your home,” Elsie repeated.
“My home is where Fred is. Tomorrow, he’ll be my husband.”
“Does your father know what you’re planning?” Elsie tried a different tact.
“No. That’s partly why I called you. I’m tired of arguing with him and Mome over belief and faith. I love them, and I don’t want them to worry about me, I just can’t match words with them over this anymore. If you let them know I’m all right then they won’t have cause to worry.”
“Ruth, that’s too simple. Of course your parents are going to worry about you, and about your soul. Getting married outside the church will break your mother’s heart. They only want what’s best for you.”
“What about what I want? What about what I believe?”
“You’re far too young to know what you want, Ruth. Stop this nonsense and come home where you belong,” Elsie said.
“I am where I belong, Oma.”
“How can you turn you back on your faith, the things you were brought up to believe in?” Exasperation gave her voice an edge.
“I think you hit the nail on the head, Oma. It’s all a matter of belief, you’re right about that.”
“I’m relieved you’re finally talking some sense. Now come home.”
“You misunderstood me, Oma. It’s a matter of belief and choosing what to believe in. I believe in Fred and the love we share. He’s a good man, kind and gentle.”
“He killed people, Ruth. Took up arms. He’s a murderer,” Elsie tried again to impress the seriousness of the situation on the girl.
“Fred is not a murderer. I don’t believe that for a second. I have to go, Oma. I love you all, but I won’t come back when the family won’t accept Fred. It’s all a matter of belief, Oma.”
“Ruth! You listen to me…” The line clicked and went dead. Elsie held the receiver away from her ear staring at it in disbelief. “She hung up on me,” her voice was incredulous. She looked from one astounded face to another around her kitchen table. Suddenly her safe secure world seemed shaken to its foundations.
“I need to call Leina.” Elsie raised a trembling hand to dial the familiar number.
“Wait, Elsie. What did the girl say?” Ike demanded.
She turned to look at him. “She said, ‘It’s all a matter of belief.’”
Chapter Six
Christmas 1946
The news of the big November blizzard paled in comparison to the furor Ruth’s abdication from the family caused. Elsie was relieved the upcoming holidays gave her family something more positive to concentrate on. The house always seemed full of the grandchildren whispering and planning what presents they wished to receive and even quieter whispers among the older children concerning presents for parents and each other.
Sadie was torn between plans for Christmas and plans for her May wedding. Even though it wouldn’t be a huge affair, nothing like the pictures in some of the bridal magazines in the stores, Brides, Vogue and Modern Bride. Elsie sniffed. It was all a waste of time and money on such frivolous trappings. What really mattered was the love between husband and wife, not what flowers she carried or how expensive the dress was. She glanced across at Ike, who was staring at the flames in the fireplace, stockinged feet up on an ottoman.
Her own wedding day had been one of the most memorable days in her life. Second only to the birth of her children, all eight of them. The thought of Pida stilled her fingers on the knitting needles. Poor little man, he was only ten when he went to God. Such a sweet child. A bittersweet smile twisted her lips at the memory of his inordinate pride in keeping his Sunday shoes polished to a brilliant shiny black. She sent a silent prayer for the repose of his soul, safe in the arms of Jesus.
“Elsie, what’s troubling you?” Ike’s inquiry broke the train of her thoughts.
She shook her head and smiled at her husband. “Nothing, Ike. Just thinking.”
He favoured her with a long look before picking up the Bible from the wide arm of the chair and opening it to the book marked place. Elsie resumed her knitting and let Pida’s memory float back to the recesses of her mind. Better to concentrate on present. Sadie and Corny’s wedding. With any luck Sarah would be feeling more herself by the time her namesake was married. Her daughter’s detachment was a worry to Elsie, along with her refusal to have anything more to do with children and babies in particular than she could avoid. We all deal with pain in our own ways. God will help her heal in His own time.
There was also the new baby to brighten her thoughts. Nettie delivered a healthy baby boy on the fifth of December. Jake was thrilled to have another son, and Nettie doted on the child. While Sarah had congratulated her brother and sister-in-law, she refused to hold the infant, and couldn’t seem to remain in the same room as Nettie and baby Isaiah.
Sadie and Cornelius Hildebrand planned to join their lives together after service on the first Sunday in June, 1947. She was still discussing with Susan if it would be better to have the lunch here or at the groom’s home. Usually, the groom’s family hosted a lunch after the marriage. But, there was another troubling thought. The Hildebrand’s were thinking very seriously about joining the much talked about migration to Paraguay. Elsie suppressed a shudder. In the early 1920’s she and Ike had joined the first migration to the South American country. Although the prospect had sounded promising, the reality had been far from it.
The religious leaders were far stricter than what Elsie had been used to in Canada. Women in particular had many restrictions placed on them. The heat was worse than she imagined along with the humidity. Each family purchased their own bit of land which had to be hacked out of the grassland upon arrival. Not to mention the bugs and biting insects, and snakes…and the tropical diseases the Mennonites seemed to have no resistance to. Diphtheria, typhoid, malaria…they had all taken their toll on the most vulnerable, the very young, the old and the pregnant women.
She must find a chance to speak with Sadie and see how serious Corny was on joining his parents and siblings in the migration. The threat of the government to take the Mennonite children during the week, returning them only on weekends was a disturbing notion and the bone of much contention among the community. With the end of the war the elder members of the community were also concerned the Mennonite youths would not be able to enjoy the same opportunities they had become used to during the course of the conflict. The returning soldiers were being given precedence in the job hiring process. All these things contributed to the interest in emigrating to either Mexico or Paraguay. The migration from the surrounding communities of southern Manitoba was headed to South America.
Goodness if the children weren’t taught by someone of the Mennonite faith who would teach them their catechism and the German language? Although none of the teachers had any official schooling they were perfectly able to teach the young ones what they needed to know. The youngest students wrote their A-B-C’s on slates or in notebooks and were taught from the Fibel — the ABC Buch. It was basically an illustrated beginner reading book especially for young children to read. The middle group were taught to read from the New Testament and the oldest children read from the Old Testament. They all learned to write by copying the Bible. The latter part of the school day was used to learn catechism and for lessons in German. She glanced over at Ike immersed in his study of God’s Word. He had taught school during their time in Paraguay, and a good job he had done of it too. Such nonsense, the government thinking they could educate the Mennonite children better than their own community. On that point, she could understand why some of the younger families were eager to emigrate. Thankfully, none of her children were entertaining the notion.
Her thoughts turned to more immediate concerns. Onkel Jake would be arriving to stay over the holidays. And Taunte Mathilda. Mathilda could stay with Helena and John. They had extra room now Ruth had left. Jake would make out just fine here. The twins could move in with Anna. Or sleep on pallets
in Agnes and Walter’s room. She ticked off the things that needed to be attended to. Furniture to move, bedding to air. The turkey would be slaughtered on Christmas Eve, or maybe sooner if the weather held cold. She wrinkled her nose at the thought of dealing with de-feathering the bird along with all the other tasks which would need attention closer to the date.
There were hams aplenty hanging frozen in the summer kitchen. Potatoes, carrots and onions stored in straw filled bushel baskets in the cellar.
Elsie was looking forward to the German Bible conference, the Bibelbesprechungen. It was held between Christmas and New Year’s Day each year down in Winkler. She loved the theme of the speakers, concentrating on a specific part of scripture or a portion of the Bible. The Pauline epistles were frequently a common choice. Agnes and Walter were staying home to take care of chores so Elsie and Ike could attend this year. Now if only the weather held. The trip would be impossible if it snowed or turned bitterly cold.
Finishing the cuff of the small sock she was working on, Elsie cast off the last stitches. Five pairs down, more to go. She selected a skein of pink wool from the basket and started on a small pair for one of Nettie and Jake’s girls. Christmas gifts were simple and hand made. Offered from the heart and made with love. Elsie had glanced at the flashy pages of the Simpson-Sears and Eaton’s catalogues in the Niverville general store last time she was there. So much money for such gaudy things. Her needles clicked faster, in time with the motion of her rocking chair. She hummed a snatch of hymn as she worked.
* * *
Christmas was drawing near. December 21st dawned bright and clear and bone-biting cold. Elsie wrapped her fingers around the coffee cup in her hand, welcoming the warm. Snow lay in drifts across the fields, pristine and reflecting the sunlight with an intensity that made her eyes water. The meandering trail of coyote tracks left blue shadows embroidering the otherwise unmarked expanse. Thank goodness the lynx that had frequented the creek earlier in the year was no longer a concern. After the incident with the twins and the dog, Walter and the boys hunted the cat down. The tawny pelt had been sold in Winnipeg for a good profit.
