by Booth, John
Urda led me out of the room and into the corridor. When she was satisfied that no one was listening she spoke.
“There have been big changes in Barren and the surrounding lands. I discovered this when I looked for you there, but it has proved difficult to talk to you about it alone.”
Barren was a small town on Urda’s home world and it was not a friendly place. Dried up, deadly and inhospitable described both the landscape and the people.
“Good, it could hardly get worse.”
“The people believe it was you and Bronwyn that did it. You were seen fighting with Bronwyn in the sky and rending the earth around you.”
Oh grief, what had I done this time? Bronwyn had been trying to exhaust my remaining magic at the time and the forces we unleashed between us were beyond imagination. But it had been in the middle of a desert, what harm could we have done?
“They are planning to build statues in your honor.”
“What?”
“You brought water to them. The GreatDesert is now a massive freshwater lake. The land has become green and, though it’s too early to be sure, you seem to have changed the climate. There has been much rain these last few weeks.”
I remembered the water. It was not something I was ever likely to forget as there was so much of it. How Bronwyn created it was beyond my understanding.
“It was Bronwyn’s magic not mine.”
“They have made you into gods, Jake.”
“I’ll try and live with it.”
Urda reached out and grabbed hold of me. “You forget my world has many potential wizards, all of whom are now honored. This may yet become a problem.”
I knew that as Urda’s people were prone to fanaticism, but I had other problems to deal with at that moment.
“I hear you and I’ll bear it in mind. How is Anna’s magic coming along?”
Urda smiled. “She is making much progress. Soon she will be able to join us in protecting Salice.”
“Come back in and have some breakfast. It’s all from Wales, so you don’t need to worry about using the local food stocks.”
Urda curtseyed. “Thank you, my Lord Wizard. I love a good fry-up.”
As breakfast was winding down, Fluffy stuck his head out of Glim and stared at me.
[You are needed at the woodyard. Jenny asked me to tell you. And don’t forget twelve-thirty.]
Esmeralda gave Fluffy a disapproving look.
I smiled at her. “Got to go, my love.”
There was no one in the office. I opened the door and stared down into the yard. A large lorry was parked outside the massive storage shed where Mr. Griffith kept his coach. I zoomed in using my magically enhanced sight and saw Mr. Griffith and Malcolm talking to two men who had their backs to me. Hopping closer, I walked towards them. Mr. Griffith spotted me immediately.
“There he is now. Jake, we need your help.”
“What can I do for you?” While I was speaking the men who had their backs to me turned around. One was unknown to me; the other was Bronwyn’s father, Brian Matthews. He put out his hand and I shook it.
“Jake, it’s good to see you again. Your father rang me yesterday and told me about the food shortage. I’ve brought you a lorry full. Under the circumstances it was the least I could do.”
“We need to get it all unloaded, you see,” Mr. Griffith said eagerly. “And you’re my best man with a fork lift truck. Peter here is the driver and he has to get back to the depot as soon as possible to pick up his next load.”
I could have unloaded it in an instant, but not with a civilian watching. “Sure I can do that. Peter, perhaps you’d like to go to the office and wait?”
“I have to stay with my vehicle while it’s being unloaded. Company policy.”
Damn, I’d have to do it the hard way.
It took an hour to unload the pallets. Malcolm, Mr. Griffith and Mr. Matthews withdrew to wait in the office while the driver watched me so closely it was irritating. When I finished he held out an electronic pad for me to sign.
“Good job. Some of the clowns in these places are hopeless. One of them put a fork through one of my wheels.”
Well, that explained the pathological watching. I smiled and shook the driver’s hand. As he drove off the others made their way from the office to join me.
“I want to talk to you about my metal detector,” Malcolm said. “I didn’t say you could go and find treasure with it. What’s my cut going to be?”
“You can have it back now. Go out and find your own.”
Malcolm looked upset and Mr. Griffith gave me a reproachful look. Thinking about it, they had a point.
“How does ten thousand sound? After I get paid by the Treasure Trove people, mind.”
Malcolm’s grin stretched almost across his face. “That would be fantastic.”
I put out my hand and we shook on it. That must be the most expensive loan of a metal detector in history. On the other hand, this way I wasn’t going to have to explain how I broke it.
Mr. Matthews looked at the pallets. “We’d better start unpacking them; they’ll never go onto the bus like that.”
I raised my hand to stop him. “No need. I can do it with magic. But Mr. Griffith needs to tell me how much weight the bus can take.”
There was much pursing of lips and muttering from Mr. Griffiths. In the end he decided I should fill the storage space below the seats and see how far the bus went down on its axles. That took no time at all.
“Best to pile stuff down the center aisle next and then try moving the bus.”
That kind of magic is simple. The food was in boxes and so I piled them two high between the seats. The suspension groaned. We had packed less than a third of the boxes Mr. Matthews bought us.
“No more, boyo. I think she’s gonna blow.” Mr. Griffith’s quick change from fake Welsh to fake Scottish accent had me laughing. Mr. Matthews smiled.
“This is only a start. Let me know when you’re ready for some more.”
He turned to go, but I stopped him.
“How’s Bronwyn?”
“Not herself, Jake. She sounds so young and immature, but she’s alive and not trying to kill anyone.” He sounded sad and happy at the same time.
“It wouldn’t be wise for me to visit her, you understand?”
“Maybe when she’s older.”
I nodded. When I was hopping with a zimmer frame would be soon enough for me.
“He’s a good man,” Mr. Griffith said solemnly. “Shall we see if the old girl still has it in her?”
The answer to that question turned out to be barely. But as soon as we got into motion I hopped the bus to Salice and Mr. Griffith stepped on the brakes and we screeched to a halt before we hit the Palace gates.
Strange though it may sound, the sight of a coach appearing from nowhere had become so familiar that nobody in Salice paid much attention. Some of the local kids came to peer through the bus windows. It was no surprise to be greeted by my old friend, Wilhelm Cari, Captain of the Guard.
“Who have you brought us this time, Jake?”
“Provisions, Wilhelm. We have a few trips to make to bring it all over. Will you arrange its storage until it can be distributed?”
He grinned and I transported the boxes out of the coach with a wave of my hand.
“What does this say?” Wilhelm asked pointed at the writing on the nearest box.
“Baked beans.”
“Ah, I had some of those less than an hour ago. Excellent, but a little embarrassing in what they do to the inner man.”
“Best be off then,” Mr. Griffith said cheerfully. “Another few loads to go.”
Standing next to where Mr. Griffith sat, a warm glow of satisfaction flowed through me. It felt great to be making a difference, however small.
I looked at my watch and discovered I was ten minutes late for my wedding.
20. Once More With Feeling
I knocked on the back door of the Registry Office urgently. Acco
rding to my watch it was 12:50 and that meant I was twenty minutes late. Mr. Griffith and his bus were back in the woodyard, which added to the delay in getting here.
I was still in jeans and tee-shirt and that was a problem. I morphed my clothes to make it look as though I was wearing a suit with white shirt and brown tie. It would fool anybody unless I tried to take off the jacket, in which case it would become obvious the jacket was also the shirt. As the door opened, I morphed my trainers into shiny black shoes.
Mrs. Owens was not a happy woman. She positively glared at me.
“You’re half an hour late,” she whispered angrily and inaccurately. “Come on in, the Registrar agreed to wait, though I can’t think why.”
I followed her up a couple of flights of stairs and through a door marked Staff Only into a room with a chapel feeling about it. There was a table at one end where Jenny and her father stood on one side and Pamela Black on the other. Jenny turned around to face me and gave me a wonderful smile.
She was wearing white, but not in a wedding dress way. She looked glorious.
“I haven’t seen that suit before.”
I kissed her lightly on the forehead and whispered in her ear. “It’s not a real one.”
Jenny giggled and whispered back. “Does it come off easily like you?”
Pamela coughed. “Now we are all here, perhaps we can get on with it?”
“Sorry,” I said, trying to stop from laughing.
Mr. and Mrs. Owens glared at me. Jenny smiled though, and that was all that mattered.
“I’m going to skip any wedding readings as I don’t think either of you care?”
We nodded our appreciation at Pamela.
“Very well. Welcome to the bride’s parents who will also serve as witnesses to the marriage. Could the groom repeat these words? I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, Jake George Morrissey, may not be joined in matrimony to Jennifer Patricia Owens.”
I stumbled through the words and the question was repeated for Jenny with the names switched. She said them perfectly as though she’d been practicing. I got the feeling she had.
The Registrar took me through the next set of words.
“I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, Jake George Morrissey do take thee, Jennifer Patricia Owens, to be my lawful wedded wife.”
As Jenny said her version of the words I found my eyes locked on hers. The registrar may have said some other stuff, but I didn’t hear it. All I wanted to do was hold her in my arms.
Our wedding in the cathedral in Salice had been magnificent, but somehow unreal. It was here and now where my heart was touched. I loved Esmeralda, but I was deeply in love with Jenny. We kissed and I felt tears forming. Jenny was crying too and I kissed her tears after she kissed mine.
Once the forms were signed, we made our way out of the back door before turning to face Jenny’s parents.
“I’ll meet you back at the house later,” Jenny told her mother. If her parents were surprised we wanted to be alone they didn’t show it. They kissed their daughter and walked away.
“Where do you want to go?” I asked.
“The BatCave. I had Retnor glim a mattress down there this morning. Just in case you bothered to turn up for the wedding.”
“Oh ye of little faith. It was your fault I was late.”
I hopped us to the BatCave and found the mattress neatly positioned between the chairs. Jenny ripped my fake suit from me and slipped out of her dress.
As we dropped naked onto the mattress there was a cry of outrage from the other end of the cave.
[Not in front of the Dragon!]
We ignored him and did it anyway. Only the once though, because I was still suffering battle damage from the previous night.
“You look absolutely knackered, Jake.” Mr. Griffith said sympathetically. “Sleepless nights from your wives denying you?”
It took me a few moments to remind myself that the last time we spoke on the subject Jenny and Esmeralda had been denying me sex.
“If only. Those were great days. If only I’d known then what I know now.”
Mr. Griffith’s eyes twinkled. “The floodgates have broken, have they boy? I dare say they will slow down soon enough.”
I looked at the coach, which was filled with boxes. “You and Malcolm have been busy.”
“Not much trade at the moment. It’s lucky I don’t need this business to survive or I’d be broke.”
I don’t know much about running a business. The woodyard always had slow periods, which is why I never worked there full time. It was my opinion that Mr. Griffith didn’t go out seeking work and the place was exactly as busy as he wanted it to be.
“Shall we get on with it?”
This time Wilhelm was waiting for us at the gates. “I wondered when you would be back. We expected you sooner.”
I jumped off the bus and took his proffered hand. “Business in Wales. Took a lot longer to satisfy her than I expected.”
Wilhelm clapped me on the back. “I have the same problem with my wife. Speaking of wives, Her Royal Highness is looking for you. I promised to let her know when you showed up again.”
We exchanged knowing looks. Wilhelm knows all about Esmeralda and her ways.
I transported the boxes off the bus to where Wilhelm’s men were waiting to move them.
“We’ll be back in about ten minutes with the last load. Perhaps you could let Esmeralda know?”
Wilhelm looked a bit sheepish. “I sent her a message as soon as you arrived. If you start right now you might get away before she gets here.”
I jumped onto the bus and waved Mr. Griffith to move. He reversed the bus as we were touching the gates and I hopped us to Wales while we were going backward. Mr. Griffith slammed on the brakes as we appeared back on Earth.
“Nearly gave me a heart attack there, boyo. You can’t go hopping a bus I’m driving while we’re going backwards. The mirrors just aren’t designed for it.”
I patted him on the shoulder. “Sorry, but that was an emergency. We were fleeing my other wife.”
“We still have another load to deliver. Do we leave that till tomorrow?”
I hopped the remaining boxes into the bus.
“No, we’ll deliver them right after I have a shower. Fifteen minute break?
Mr. Griffith nodded and I hopped home.
She was tapping a foot when we arrived, never a good sign. Wilhelm was standing behind her and shook his head in warning. Esmeralda spun to glare at him. Sometimes I’m certain she has eyes in the back of her head. Captain Cari has spent years mastering the innocent look and stared back as though butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth.
Apart from marrying Jenny, I hadn’t done anything special to annoy Esmeralda, and I was sure she didn’t know about that yet, so I couldn’t figure out what had put her in a mood. Maybe attack was the best form of defense.
“Hi Ess, this is the last of the food.”
Her eyes narrowed at my use of a nickname. Before she could say anything, I hopped the boxes from the bus. It was a simple coincidence that they lined up to form a four foot high wall between us.
“I have been waiting for you for the last twenty minutes,” she said. “And Wilhelm said you knew I was waiting.”
“Mr. Griffith needed a comfort break,” I lied.
“Have you been with Jenny?”
How does she do that? She always seems to know.
“We met up at lunchtime. Her parents were with her.”
Esmeralda looked slightly mollified. “And my name is Esmeralda, not Ess.”
“I promise to remember from now on.”
She smiled and I tried not to heave an obvious sigh of relief. We walked along the line of boxes to reach each other.
“I hope the food makes a difference. It’s a gift from Mr. Matthews, who sends it with his compliments.”
Esmeralda looked grave. “Everything helps. What he has given is enough to feed the city
for a day, as much again would feed everyone in Salice for that day.”
“That doesn’t sound like very much.”
“If a man eats for one day, he can go without for another without starving. It makes a difference.”
Wilhelm had come to join us. “And if he eats your beans he can produce enough wind from his rear end to fly.”
I laughed. I was still laughing when he dived at me and pushed me to the ground. A blinding flash followed by thunder shook me before I hit the cobbles. I willed my eyes back to working as I created a shield around us. The second and third blasts were absorbed as they hit. There were far too many people in the area to use the less exhausting method of bouncing the blasts away.
“Are you okay?” I asked Esmeralda who lay on the ground beside me. She nodded and I got up and walked in the direction of the blasts.
Two men, wearing flack jackets were aiming rocket launchers at me from the top of a building. I squashed their weapon tubes and they exploded, flinging the men from the roof. That wasn’t quite what I intended to do and I caught the men in a magic field and lowered them to the ground.
A glance behind showed me that Wilhelm’s men were surrounding Esmeralda, protecting her with their bodies. I scanned the other buildings, but there was no sign of anybody else being involved. Mr. Griffith had left his driver’s seat and was hiding behind his bus. He saw me looking at him and gave me a quick thumbs-up.
As I got closer to the first of the attackers, it was clear he was dead. There was not much left of the side of his head where the weapon had been held. His clothes looked like those of a commando: body amour and what looked like guns at his waist. He also carried electronic equipment and binoculars.
I moved towards the second man. He was still alive if the moaning coming from him was anything to go by.
One of the guards ran towards me. I heard him before I saw him and turned ready to strike. It was then that I saw the mess on the ground behind him.
“Can I help, Lord Wizard?”
“Captain Cari?” Surely those blackened lumps couldn’t be my friend.
The guard shook his head. “I’m sorry, Lord Wizard. There isn’t…”
