by Nick Harland
There was a fully loaded M9 and one box of ammo. It was a decent find but Eve said, ‘Call it a gun sense but there’s no way this is it, we’ve missed something.’
We must have looked ridiculous banging the walls of the bedroom and bathroom looking for secret compartments or rooms and I certainly felt stupid; but we found nothing. We went back downstairs and Esme went into the utility area and stood at the back door. She paused then stamped her foot on the rug that covered the floor, there was a slightly hollow sound. Under the rug we found a wooden insert covering a steel trapdoor. The trapdoor had an integral lock rather than a padlock and it was sunk into the stone below the wooden floor. Chris took one look at it and handed me the axe, smiling knowingly.
I took the axe and said, ‘Shit, there’s no getting out of this is there?’
I wailed away at the stone around the trapdoors lock until my arm hurt and I was wet with sweat, both Eve and Esme had a turn before we could get the pry bar in. We had to beat the shit out of the steel door where the lock was with the blunt end of the axe before it would open and Esme said what we were all thinking, ‘This better be bloody worth it.’
The stairs to the cellar were old wood but the large room had been tanked, plastered, and painted an old fashioned cream. We knew immediately it was worth it. There was some gym equipment, a neat desk, and a display cabinet with guns in on one wall. On the far wall were targets and some had holes in. It wasn’t really a long enough space for a gun range but she must have used it occasionally at least. I conjured various images from movies and games with bullet time in them and imagined her diving around the end of the room, or doing rolls or something, and trying to hit the targets at the same time.
The gun cabinet wasn’t locked and there were only a few guns but Eve’s eyes were like pancakes. There were four pistols, a long, serious looking rifle that I assumed must be a sniper rifle, and two modern looking shotguns. Under the display cabinet was a small chest with a decent amount of ammo in it, and usefully, the original brochures that came with each gun. Chris looked over Eve’s shoulder and his eyes were equally wide. I had a pang of jealously from their shared moment but shrugged it off.
Eve turned around, ‘Definitely worth it, we could have done with more ammo and less guns but I bet with her steady hand Esme could hit a Talker from two hundred feet away with the rifle. This is a lovely moment but we still have a long day ahead of us so let’s pack up and get going.’
We packed up the guns in their cases and shoved the food into a bag. We walked back to the cars but halfway down the path to the front gate Chris stopped, pointed at a sign a short distance down the road and said, ‘That must be a small farm, farmers have shotguns or rifles, and there might even be some live animals, we crossed a river that runs through the village . I doubt it, but you never know. Goats eat anything and farms don’t usually have many staff and half the time they’re out and about. I know we have other priorities today but we’ve already done well and we’re not far from home.’
We all looked at each other and nodded. We dumped our haul in the back of Mary and drove down the road to the entrance to the farm. There was a hundred feet of dirt track that led to a large old looking farmhouse and there was a barn opposite. The road narrowed and carried on between the farmhouse and Barn and there was the smell of cow shit in the air, but also something else, thicker and sweeter. It definitely looked like there were livestock somewhere, although in all likelihood they were long dead. We knew from the pet shop the Zeds weren’t bothered about what meat they ate, as long as it was fresh, and if there were cows any Zeds on the farm when it happened had hit the jackpot.
We drove up the road and stopped between the farmhouse and barn. I was just picking up the radio when a Beefcake charged from the shadows of the barn at Esme and Chris. It was the biggest we’d seen so far and its fat wobbled as it ran. It hit the SUV like a charging bull. It dented the door and pushed the mesh covering the window in enough to smash it. I panicked for a moment seeing the event through the wing mirror, but what happened next was somehow artful. Chris looked down through the broken window at the stunned Beefcake who had fallen onto the ground but was already starting to sit up. As the Beefcake sat up the door exploded open with a bang and hit the Beefcake in the head, knocking it down again. Then Chris leaned out, shot the Beefcake in the head, and shut the door again.
We heard Esme on the radio, ‘I know we want to save ammo but those Beefcakes are tough.’
I answered, ‘Tell Chris that was brilliant to watch and I should have made it a policy like the helmets, where Beefcakes are concerned a bullet is a small price to pay, for Sprinters too if you can hit the fuckers.’
In the background we heard Chris reply, ‘Thanks, I’ll bare that in mind.’
There were no more Zeds and usually if one charged they all did so we got out of the cars. Chris vainly attempted to scrape the broken glass from inside the car until Eve said, ‘Don’t even bother, didn’t you know that car glass is magic and self-replicates when it’s been broken. You only have to leave one bit behind and when you next look there is loads more. We’ll sort it later.’
Esme looked at me and said, ‘Well superhero, house, barn, or beyond?’
I ignored Chris’ confused look and said, ‘Barn, it’s most likely to be empty now.’
The barn was medium sized, it wasn’t a big farm, more like a smallholding. It had the predictable bales of hay stacked to make a long thick wall. For a moment I wished Chris wasn’t there and the word ‘romp’ popped into my head. Along the left side of the barn were four stalls. The gates were open and two horses were lying half eaten on the ground. It was instantly apparent what the sweet sticky smell was and I was glad the barn was airy. We briefly glimpsed a black and white farm cat on top of the hay bales but it shot off as soon as it saw us. I smiled as within a second my mind created a future ruled by evolved cats, the only animal smart, quick, and psychopathic enough to be able to eventually beat the Zombies. It was a shame they wiped themselves out in the civil war that followed but you can’t have everything.
There was a metal five-bar gate between the barn and house which was open. There were fields beyond and we could see a low stone wall to the right coming from the back wall of the house that marked the boarder of the houses back garden. Immediately to the left was a field with about twenty dead sheep in and the smell was nasty. As we walked further we could see a fenced off field down a hill to the right and to our surprise there were two horses and two Zeds in it. The horses looked thin, as did the Zed’s. As we came closer there was an obviously long dead Zed on the ground, its skull trampled in. The field had a stream running through it or I’m sure the horses would have been dead.
I wondered at the perversity of it later but at the time I smiled to think of the Zeds stuck in the field for all that time with hundreds of pounds of meat they couldn’t catch. The Zeds turned as they saw us and jogged towards the gate, one of the horses trotting out of the way as they moved. They must have been there the whole time, one woman and one man, despite not having any difficulty opening the gate. We took one each, letting Chris watch, and they were no problem.
Esme looked at us, ‘What do we do about the horses, we can’t..’
Eve interrupted, ‘We can and we will leave them, there is nothing we can do unless you want to shoot them or eat them. We’ll make sure all the gates are open and I wouldn’t be surprised if they last longer than we do, they can obviously look after themselves.’
Esme’s head drooped but she nodded. I wandered up the hill towards the back garden and when I saw the full extent of it I called the others until they came running. The back garden was a utopia of well cared for plants, trees, and bushes. I clambered over the low wall and went to a patch of perfect looking Rhubarb, I loved Rhubarb. There was silence as the others examined the laden bushes in awe. None of the fruit would be ready for a few weeks but some of the veg looked ready and there was loads of it.
Eve said, ‘And I bet they h
ave jars of homemade preserves and chutneys in the house.’
The garden wrapped around the side of the house and there was a high hedge with a tall metal gate in that led to an open lawned area. I glanced through the gate and before I knew it I had shouted, ‘Goat, there’s a fucking goat, no, two fucking goats.’
Everyone came running and we opened the gate, we left Mutt in the garden so he wouldn’t scare the goats. Stay wasn’t his favourite command be he parked his arse and, I’m sure grudgingly, waited. There were indeed two goats, both were females and they looked pretty scrawny. Esme approached one with her hand out and she’d had the sense the grab a big cabbage leaf on the way in. The goat gratefully took it and didn’t seem bothered about being approached. There was only one thing going through my mind, the possibility of milk. Esme said, ‘How did they survive?’
I walked around the edge of the overgrown lawn and there was a hole in the tall hedge that surrounded the area. I replied, ‘They can get out here and must have been able to get to the stream the other side of the horse field but couldn’t get over the wall to raid the garden. Poor bastards must have been driven wild looking at it all day without being able to reach it.’
Esme looked at Eve, ‘Can we…?’
Eve smiled, ‘Horses no, goats definitely. If we can get them healthy again we can get milk from them.’
Chris asked, ‘How the hell are we going to move all these plants without killing them?’
I was ahead of the game on this one and replied, ‘We’re not. We need to clear the house and make sure there isn’t a horde anywhere near but this is our garden now. With the road clear it’s only half an hour’s drive. If you can’t bring the garden to the gardeners, bring the gardeners to the garden. This is way too good a find to waste and we have a couple of keen gardeners and other willing hands. Fresh food is important to all of us. They’ll have to be guarded but I think the fuel and time will be worth it. I dare say if we pay it enough attention it will still be good next year too.’
Eve came up and patted me on the bum, ‘I was already there you know.’
I grinned, ‘Maybe, but I said it first so I still get the credit.’
She feigned a scowl, ‘Lout.’
Chris blocked the hole in the fence with an upturned table from the lawn and Esme pulled a load of what we hoped weren’t too important leaves from around the cabbages and gave them to the goats. I heard her promise to be back and I remembered Eve promising the same thing to the plants at our first base. It was wired, but it was a fond memory.
There were double patio doors from the side of the house into the garden and they weren’t locked. Esme herded the goats out of the way and we brought Mutt through. Mutt led the way into the house which was nice inside, minimal but nice. The patio doors led straight into a dining room which led to a hall and the front door. There were two mauled Spaniels in the hall which meant there was likely to be at least one Zed somewhere. Mutt walked down the hall and started a low warning growl, how he could smell anything other than dead dog I don’t know.
As we approached the entrance to the kitchen a small female Zed charged, reaching down for Mutt. She was quick and managed to grab his collar. Mutt sank his teeth into one of her arms but she didn’t care and went to bite him. All I had time to do was launch a kick and I hoped Mutt didn’t writhe too much. My foot scrapped Mutts muzzle and hit the Zed in the side of the head as she opened her mouth to bite him. She must only have been eight stone at the most and the kick sent her flying, landing with her neck at a strange angle. She tried to get up but her legs didn’t seem to be doing what she told them to and Chris quickly put her out of her misery. Mutt took a moment and shook his head but the blow had been glancing and he seemed to be ok. He looked up at me and I wasn’t sure if his expression said, ‘Thanks’ or, ‘Be more careful next time.’
The rest of the house was empty but we found medical books and a bag of supplies in a study. We also found the hoped for homemade preserves and pickles and as it wasn’t far off lunch time we sat down and had some crackers. I opened a jar of chutney and it was the best I’d ever tasted. I made a note to have one in my pocket when we left so I could hide it in the van when we got back.
As we sat around the table Eve looked at her watch and said, ‘It’s been a good day so far but we’re still miles away from what we we’re supposed to be doing. I vote we load up the goats and stuff and go back to base. I figure we even have time to bring the gardeners back to harvest whatever they think is ready and to start weeding. I know Jim is all, “high fences are more important than food”, but like you said, morale and health are also important and I’m sure he can spare two or three people.’
Esme put her hand up and said, ‘I second the motion.’
Chapter Nineteen – A Willing Subject
Getting the goats into the back of Mary wasn’t easy and keeping them there was an unexpected challenge. There was no poo at least. Eve drove and I had to sit in the back to stop them jumping over the back seats. Mutt had to go with Chris and Esme. The gates were open when we got back and people were working outside, guarded by others. Bill jogged up, having lost a decent amount of weight since we found him, and Jim wasn’t far behind.
Bill said, ‘You went for guns and we didn’t expect you until after dark or the next day and you come back after lunch with goats. They better not be eating Mary.’
I got out and carefully opened the back, grabbing the ropes we’d tied around the goats’ necks. I looked at him as Eve got out carrying the bag of new guns, the barrel of the sniper rifle sticking out of the bag. I said, ‘It’s complicated, but we never made it out of the village where we found the guns. There was a small farm, smallholding, or something, and it’s got an awesome back garden with a ton of fruit and veg growing. We need to take the gardeners back to harvest whatever is ready to eat and to start doing some weeding.’
Jim frowned but before I could speak Eve stepped up, ‘It’s ok Jim, we know base security is important and you have many hands doing what I’m sure is good work. The health and wellbeing of everyone is also important though or it won’t be the Zeds that get us, but scurvy or rickets.’
Jim went to speak but Eve put her hand up, ‘Yes I know it’s hard to die of scurvy but you get the point. With this crap diet of ours it’s only a matter of time before people start to feel the effects and we have kids to think about. We’re all going to need looking after if we survive long enough to get older and it’s going to be the kids who’ll be doing it, but only if they grow up healthy and strong….with straight legs.’
Jim couldn’t help but break a smile at Eve’s joke and his face relaxed, ‘Four people and not one more.’
Eve laughed, ‘Promise, four people.’
People came to unload Mary and Chris took the guns to the store and went to find the people who had said they were gardeners. While we were waiting the retired surgeon guy strolled over. I still didn’t know his name and we’d barely had a chance to speak. It had been so busy. He said, ‘We’ve not been formally introduced, I’m Gary. I heard rumours this morning that one if you has a PhD in microbiology and that you have a cure for this thing.’
I smiled and took a step backwards bowing with a flourish at Eve and said, ‘I’ll let smarty pants explain everything.’
Eve explained the whole thing as succinctly as she could with Esme chipping in here and there. Gary listened intently and politely and there was a tense pause while we waited for his reply. We all knew how arrogant and controlling surgeons could be and at his age he would have been old school. He said, ‘I didn’t follow all of the detail, I always hated microscopes, but it sounds interesting. So I guess you’ll need needles and other equipment and at some stage you’ll need to try it on someone. I can help you with both.’
There was another awkward silence until Eve said, ‘Could you clarify a little?’
Gary carried on, ‘I retired a few years ago but I still did medicals and whatnot at a drop in clinic in town. It’s only a coup
le of miles off the dual carriageway so it shouldn’t be too hard to reach. It’s opposite one of the poorer housing estates so we’d have to be careful, but I gather you have experience of that kind of thing. As far as the other, I have pretty advanced bladder cancer and even with top quality care I’d only have a couple of months left. It could get uglier than I’d like it to much sooner without care and I’d hope someone would do the decent thing. I figure if you get it right everyone’s a winner, and if not it might be useful to have another captive around. I would hope I’d be a Talker too and if your efforts with your friend go well who knows….Maybe the process will kill the cancer, they don’t seem to pee, and I’ll be able to come back and have a new life, of sorts anyway.’
We were all stunned into silence but Gary just smiled and carried on, ‘Have you ever considered that the aliens have got it all wrong and just don’t understand the resilience of the human spirit. Maybe over time they will all become Talkers and maybe over time all of them will win back the battle for control and become self-aware again, the people they were again, but with some bad eating habits. Imagine the earth in twenty years’ time. Self-aware Zombie aliens will outnumber humans hundreds of thousands to one and they will rebuild the world around their needs, which are basically fresh meat as far as I can tell, and build a new kind of civilisation. I don’t know if they could reproduce or how long they could live, but it’s fascinating to think it about don’t you think?’
I had to stop myself gawping and Eve was the first to speak, ‘Well Gary, that’s certainly food for thought. As far as you’re other offer, you’re on. People have been scratched and I’ve been splattered with and probably swallowed various bits of blood and goo and none of us have turned. It must be the saliva that does it or a decent volume of blood. Do you think we can use some collected in a needle or do you think we need to let Andrea bite you?’
