by A. J. Pine
“Ivy,” Casey said this time, her patience definitely growing thin.
“What if you’re wrong and I’m not past the worst of what happened to Charlie? What if I have fallen for him and he—?” She couldn’t say it. It was one thing for Casey to tell her she was moving past Charlie’s death. It was a whole other to be brave enough to risk her heart in an entirely new and terrifying way.
Casey crossed her arms. “You can be scared, Ives. But you have to be able to answer the question. So riddle me this, Batgirl. When you think of your life without him, how do you feel?”
Ivy’s eyes burned with the threat of fresh tears.
Casey laughed. “Oh, honey. It’s worse than I thought. You fell hard, didn’t you?”
Ivy nodded as the truth took hold. “I love him, Case. I love Carter Bowen.”
“Carter Bowen—who is a firefighter.” Casey placed a hand on Ivy’s leg and gave her a soft squeeze. “Can you handle that?”
Ivy swallowed and placed her hand over her friend’s. “I worked it out in my head. We’re not a big city like Boston. My dad made it to retirement here without any major injuries. Meadow Valley is safe, which means Carter is safe, even if he’s a firefighter.”
“And you’ll support him if he has to do something you don’t deem safe?”
Ivy nodded. She could do this if she held on to her logic—no matter how convoluted—that she couldn’t lose Carter like she lost Charlie. Not here.
“I love him,” she said again.
“Then you better finish putting this dress together and tell him,” Casey said.
“I haven’t even seen him all week. I think he’s been avoiding me. I went looking for him at Pearl’s after his first shift since that night, and she said he’d decided to stay at the station for the week—iron some things out with his unit.” It could have been true. He could be working on the situation with Shane. Or he could be taking extra shifts to keep from running into her.
Casey raised a brow. “Honey, the man’s in love with you and has no idea if you feel the same way. Even the bravest of the brave get a little gun-shy when it comes to matters of the heart. Luckily, you can fix that.”
Ivy grinned. “Okay.” Then she grabbed her phone and hammered out a quick text to Carter.
Meet me at Midtown tonight?
The three dots appeared immediately, and she held her breath.
Sure. Off at six.
Great. Can’t wait to see you.
She waited several seconds, but there was no response after that. It didn’t matter. He was coming, and she was going to tell him what she should have said that morning.
Ivy shrugged. “Looks like I’m spilling my heart out at six o’clock. Wish me luck.”
Casey waved her off. “You got this, Ives. Home run. Or is it a slam dunk?”
Ivy snorted. “Let’s go with basketball for this one.”
She finished the final pinning and stitching in record time, fueled by the adrenaline of what she’d been afraid to admit to herself all week. When she was done, she and Casey headed to the tavern to celebrate with a drink and whatever was left of the appetizers while Ivy waited for Carter.
She tried not to look nervous when the clock hit 6:30 p.m. and he wasn’t there, nor had she heard from him. At 6:45, she started to worry. And at 7:00 she was near to panicking. Not that she thought anything had happened to him. She’d have heard sirens if there had been any sort of emergency. But the kind of panic that said even without telling him how she felt, she’d somehow spooked him. Or maybe he had realized she’d heard what he said and was furious she hadn’t reciprocated.
“Hey,” Casey said from the other side of the bar. “You can call him, you know.”
“Mmm-hmm,” she said, popping a fried pickle into her mouth. Because a stressed-out girl in love needed some comfort food. “Or I could eat my weight in pickles. I think I’m going with option number two.” Because wouldn’t that be just her luck—to realize she was in love with the guy exactly when he realized he’d made a huge mistake saying he loved her?
Casey snagged the basket of fried goodness before Ivy could grab another bite.
“Hey!” Ivy said, trying to swipe her prized possession back. But Casey held it over her head. The only way Ivy was getting it back was if she climbed onto the bar and stole it back.
She shrugged. She wasn’t above such a move.
Ivy was midclimb when Casey whisper-shouted, “He’s here!”
Ivy rolled her eyes. “I want my damn pickles!”
“Ivy?” she heard from behind her. “What are you doing?”
She winced but not before grabbing her food back. Then she slid not-so-gracefully back onto her stool.
She spun to see Carter still in uniform, brows furrowed.
“Just taking back what was stolen from me.” She held up her spoils. “Pickle?”
He shook his head, his jaw tight as his confusion morphed to something graver. She forgot her panic and grabbed his hand. “Hey, are you okay? I thought I’d see you at six and was starting to worry.”
He climbed onto the stool next to hers.
“Here,” Casey said, sliding a mug of beer his way. “No offense, but you look like you need this.”
He shook his head. “None taken.” And he took a sip.
“I spent the last hour in the chief’s office, trying to figure out how to fix things,” he said.
Ivy forgot about her fried pickles. “What’s broken?”
Carter blew out a breath. “Morale? My team’s faith in me? It turns out there have been several complaints turned in about me this week, all pertaining to me not knowing how the station runs and questioning the chief hiring someone based purely on nepotism.”
“Nepo-what?” Casey asked. When Ivy opened her mouth to answer, she held up her hand. “I know what the word means. I just don’t get how it relates, unless Lieutenant Dreamboat is the captain’s or chief’s long-lost son.”
Ivy’s eyes widened. “We’re calling him Lieutenant Dreamboat to his face now?”
Casey popped a piece of pickle into her mouth. “We are now!”
Ivy turned back to Carter. “Okay, so someone found out about you being Pearl’s nephew. I really don’t get how that’s nepotism. Pearl isn’t a high-ranking firefighter or anything like that. She put in a good word, and you got the job.”
Carter shook his head.
“Turns out I’m not the only one keeping a low profile as far as my Meadow Valley connections. Aunt Pearl is dating the chief.”
If Ivy had been sipping her beer, this would have been her first ever spit take, which wasn’t the kind of thing a girl wanted to do before she and her significant other officially declared those three little words to each other. Win him over and then start embarrassing yourself while eating and drinking.
“I didn’t know Pearl dated. Period,” Ivy said.
“Go Pearl,” Casey said. “Not only dating but a younger man, too. I want to be her when I grow up.”
Carter sighed. “She took it so hard when my uncle passed away. I don’t think any of us ever thought of her being with anyone else. Not that she doesn’t deserve to be happy. It was just sort of a shock. And of all people…”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Ivy said. “Put a pin in the whole nepotism thing for a second. Pearl’s husband passed away a decade ago.”
Carter nodded.
“Does that mean you were here for the funeral? I mean—I’m retroactively sorry for your loss. But were you here?”
He nodded again, and the set of his jaw loosened as realization set in. “He was my mother’s favorite uncle. My brothers and I liked him, too. We drove out with my mom and my grandma for the funeral.”
Ivy’s eyes widened. “I was at that funeral. I mean, the whole town was, because that’s small town life for ya, but we were both there.”
The corner of his mouth turned up, the first hint of a smile since he walked through the door. Something about it made Ivy’s breath catch in her thr
oat.
“You didn’t wear black,” he said matter-of-factly, and she shook her head. “You had on a blue dress with a sunflower print. And I thought, What is up with this girl who doesn’t know anything about funeral etiquette?”
She laughed, and her cheeks filled with heat.
“It was the first dress I ever made,” she said. And the one that inspired her latest design, the one she hoped to actually finish and display in her shop window. “My mom loved planting flowers, and she taught Charlie and me. Our favorite was the sunflowers. Did you know that when they’re young, before they bloom, they actually follow the sun across the sky each day?”
“Heliotropism,” Carter said with a self-satisfied grin. “Solar tracking.” Her eyes widened, and he shrugged. “I had to take a lab science in college. Botany was the only one that fit my schedule.”
He knew about sunflowers. He saw her in her first dress.
Her stomach flipped. Every new thing she learned about Carter Bowen made it harder to resist the connection she felt with him.
She nodded. “I thought there was nothing more beautiful, and I wanted to wear something beautiful for Pearl. But it was more than that. I liked the idea of the new buds repositioning themselves each night so they faced east again. I admired their determination—their fierce sense of direction.” Direction Ivy wanted so badly now that she was home. She wanted to face the grief and move past it. She wanted to wake up in the morning with the sun shining on her face instead of under the cloud where she’d lived for more than two years. “Pearl loved it, by the way.” Ivy cleared her throat. “It’s where my thing for flowers comes from. Haven’t been able to bring myself to plant my own garden, but I add a rose here, a lily there—when it suits the design.”
“I have no doubt Aunt Pearl loved it,” Carter said. His brows drew together. “But I can’t believe that was you.”
Casey waved a hand between them. “Helloo. Before you two start talking about nonsense like meant to be or star-crossed lovers or whatever, can we get back to the real story so I can help actual paying customers? What the heck happened with the chief?”
Carter blinked, and the far-off look in his blue eyes that could have swallowed Ivy whole disappeared.
“Someone who knows about Pearl and the chief also knows about me being Pearl’s nephew, and there’s a petition going around to get me removed as lieutenant. There are quite a few signatures already.”
Ivy gasped. “They can’t actually do that, can they?”
Carter shook his head. “Technically, no. Family members are absolutely allowed to work in the same company.”
“Right,” Casey said. “Like Wyatt and Shane.”
“Oh no,” Ivy said. “Shane.”
“There’s no nepotism clause in the handbook,” Carter went on. “But in a job like this, morale is everything. If anyone thinks I got the job because of favoritism from the chief, then they might not trust that I’m up to the task. And if my presence is bringing down the morale of the whole company, then me staying on could be more detrimental than it’s worth. Chief won’t say who started the petition, but I took a job someone on the inside wanted, and that someone doesn’t want me around…”
Casey shook her head. “You really think it was Shane? I mean, the guy carries around resentment like no one’s business, but that seems a little over the top even for him.”
Ivy winced. “I don’t know. He and Carter have been butting heads since the day Carter stepped foot in the station. We were just as shocked when Shane ended up in jail. Maybe this isn’t out of character at all.”
Carter took another long, slow pull of his beer. “At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter who it is if I can’t win over the trust of my company.”
There was a finality in his voice that made the hair on the back of Ivy’s neck stand up.
“So, what does this mean?” she asked.
“It means I’m on leave for the weekend. Captain’s taking over my crew. And by the end of next week, I may be out of a job. Leaving Houston for Meadow Valley made sense not simply for the job but also because I had family here. I could find another station in a different city or state, but at my age, a résumé that shows me having already left two stations? That doesn’t give me a very reliable track record. If I haven’t burned a bridge, I could ask for my job back in Houston. But if they say no…” He let out a bitter laugh. “There’s always my father’s auto shop. I bet he’d love me coming home with my tail between my legs, begging for what I told him I didn’t want anymore.” He finished his beer in one final gulp, then slapped some bills on the bar.
“Oh you don’t—” Casey started, but Carter interrupted.
“It’s way less than what I owe you since I got here, but I don’t want to fuel the notion that I take handouts. Thanks, anyway,” he said. He turned to Ivy. “I’m not gonna be good company tonight.” Then he kissed her, his lips lingering on hers even after the kiss ended. “But I sure am happy I got to do that,” he finally added. “I’m glad you texted.”
Then he stood, pivoted toward the door, and left.
Ivy sat there, dumbfounded, staring at the door for several long moments after it closed behind him. She’d been so scared to lose Carter in the worst way possible that she never had considered him having to leave town.
“You okay?” Casey asked, breaking the silence.
“No,” she said, turning to face her friend. “Case, what if he leaves?”
Casey nodded. “What if you go out there and tell him how you feel and see if that makes a difference? Maybe if you let him know you’re willing to fight for him, he’ll fight for a way to stay. All I know is not telling him how you feel will make you always wonder what would have happened if you did.”
Ivy’s eyes widened. “Are we still talking about me and Carter, or does this have something to do with Boone Murphy’s recent engagement?” Ivy had been so wrapped up in everything Carter that she’d forgotten Casey’s high school sweetheart was marrying someone else.
Casey rolled her eyes. “You’re deflecting, Ives. What this is about is not regretting a missed opportunity. If you love the guy, tell him. It’s as simple as that.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. Casey was right. She loved Carter, and he loved her. Once they said it aloud for real, everything would be different, wouldn’t it? They could figure this job thing out together.
“I said I was going to tell him, which means I have to go tell him.”
Casey nudged her shoulder. “Then get off your ass and go do the thing instead of talking about doing the thing.”
She glanced down at Carter’s cash on the counter, then back at her friend. “You’re okay if I don’t make a similar monetary gesture, right? I’ll cover your next closing shift for free.”
Casey raised her brows. “Yeah, you will. Now go!”
Ivy hopped off her stool and bounded toward the door just as she started to smell smoke. She pushed the tavern door open to the blaring sound of sirens filling the street. Along with it came the ringing of the firehouse bell, which meant only one thing.
For the first time in years, there was a real fire in Meadow Valley. And even though he was off duty, amid the ensuing chaos she saw Carter Bowen running across the street, straight toward the firehouse.
Chapter Ten
This was bad. He could already smell the smoke, and the air had taken on the type of haze that meant whatever was burning was feeding a fire that was growing.
“Carter!” he heard from behind him, and spun to see Ivy running toward him.
“I have to go, Ivy!” he called back.
She was out of breath when she stopped in front of him. “But you don’t,” she insisted. “You’re—you’re off duty. Lieutenant Heinz and his team will take care of whatever’s happening.”
“Ivy. You don’t have to be a firefighter to know that whatever’s happening probably needs more than one crew. Even when I’m off duty, I’m still on call. And I’m answering the damn call.�
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She pressed her hands to his chest as the first emergency vehicle pulled out of the station. The engine would be next, which meant he needed to hurry.
“Please,” she said, her brown eyes shining. He wasn’t sure if it was the threat of tears or because of the smoke in the air.
“Are you asking me not to do my job? Because I thought we were past this. I thought you were okay with what I did.” Yet he didn’t really trust her, did he? Or he’d have said how he felt to her face rather than when she was still asleep.
“And I thought you were done trying to prove yourself. You just told me you were on leave for the weekend, which means you don’t have to go. I can’t—” She swiped underneath one eye. “When you said you might have to go back to Houston, I knew right then that I’d beg you to stay, that I couldn’t lose you. And now?” She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “I can’t do it, Carter. I can’t watch you run head on into a life-threatening situation when there are plenty of others who are prepared to do so. It’s selfish of me to ask, and I have no right to do so, but I am begging you, Carter—begging you to stay safe.”
The chief’s voice sounded on his radio. “All available crews report. I repeat, all available crews report.”
“I have to go, Ivy,” he said firmly. “And you’re wrong. I do need to prove that I’m what this company needs, that I’m capable of leading my crew into any situation and bringing them all home—safe, myself included. This is what I do. We’re not tying up horses on the top of a hill and acting like what’s down here doesn’t exist. I can’t pretend for you anymore.”
“I love you,” she said. It wasn’t another plea or a last-ditch effort to get him to stay. He could hear the sincerity in the tremor of her voice. And God, he knew what she’d already lost and how she’d never quite be over it. It was the same for him with Mason. But this was who he was. This was what he did. He couldn’t be what she needed if that meant sitting on the sidelines when there were lives at stake.
“I love you, too,” he finally said face-to-face, like he should have all along. “And I understand that this is too much for you. But I need you to understand that it’s what I’m meant to do.”
