Descent

by Charlotte McConaghy

  ‘How else do you explain the strange connection you have with this city?’ the man asked. ‘Why else do you feel the tug at your soul? Only the queen, in whose name we were banished, could resurrect the lost city. We have waited for you,’ he said, ever so quietly, and she felt awkward and uncomfortable under his gaze.

  ‘But there must be some mistake. Surely you have the wrong woman. I’m not a queen. I’m just a girl. I’m not even from here.’ Mia’s voice was a whisper as she realised she was close to tears.

  ‘Nayana ... I don’t know what else to tell you, except—there is no question. You will remember soon enough, I’m sure. You are our queen.’

  He spread his hands, helplessly.

  ‘Do you want proof? Come with me,’ he said finally and led her to the other side of the room. There on the wall was a vast, beautifully crafted mosaic. The colours were so vibrant, and Mia caught her breath at the realism of the picture. It was a scene set in some sort of temple, full of people and animals, but what truly caught her off guard was the sudden recognition of one particular figure. There, in the middle of the mosaic, was a red-haired woman who looked exactly like Mia.

  She gasped, taking a step back. The woman had her features, her hair, and she was dressed like a queen, with a golden crown atop her head. She stared back at Mia with an expression of such confidence, such strength, that Mia had a sudden longing for it all to be true.

  The connection had always been there. It had driven her here, was why she had been so certain that she was meant to find this place. The man had said that only the true queen could call Samaraq back, and there she was, staring back at her, like a mirror into the past.

  Mia’s heart thumped painfully. ‘Why can’t I remember?’ she asked, frustration and fear threaded through her voice.

  ‘Then you believe me?’ the man replied quickly, and she turned her frightened eyes to meet his. ‘I’ll help you find your way,’ he offered softly and Mia was startled to hear the intimacy in his voice.

  ‘Who are you?’ she asked belatedly.

  ‘Will you walk with me so that I may explain?’ She hesitated, then nodded. He turned to Liam who was waiting at the entrance with Lastaam, Claudia, and Gwen. The small group was staring at Mia, their mouths agape.

  ‘Greetings, Emperor,’ the man said in perfect English. ‘Be welcome to Samaraq. All your needs will be attended to while you stay with us for as long as it pleases you.’ The man made a small bow and called for a servant to show them to their rooms.

  Then, gesturing for her to follow, he padded barefoot across the room and out a door. Mia followed quickly, peering around her as they went. They walked down a wide, dark hall, dimly lit by torches hanging on the walls. At the end they came to a huge stone balcony that looked out over the city on one side, and the desert on the other. The balcony ran around the entire expanse of the palace, and standing there, looking out over everything, Mia had trouble breathing. It was so foreign, and yet so familiar, and her emotions swirled savagely.

  ‘I was queen of all this?’ she asked shakily.

  ‘Yes. And you were ... everything to us. We could not have asked for a better leader.’ His voice was soft as he spoke, and still he did not look at her.

  ‘I’m not sure I could do it now,’ she said, afraid of his disapproval. ‘I don’t know anything about this place.’

  ‘I will help you. It will come back. We have faith in you.’ He turned to her then, and his dark eyes were blazing. ‘You made us who we are Nay ... Mia. You gave us joy, in a time when we were persecuted. We owe you so much.’

  Mia put her head in her hands. ‘But I had you banished,’ she said.

  ‘No. Do not think that way. It was never your fault that we lived in a world of ignorance. It was worth it in the end, for you have brought us back. None of it matters anymore.’

  ‘Who are you?’ she asked again, looking up at him.

  ‘My name is Tye,’ he said with a smile, ‘I am head of the royal servants here in the palace.’

  ‘Servants?’ Mia asked, incredulous. She had assumed, without question, that he was the king.

  ‘Highest servant,’ he said seriously. ‘And my life has always been yours to command, majesty.’ Again there was the tone of intimacy, of desire.

  Mia felt a sudden random surge of disappointment.

  ‘I thought stupidly that you and I were...’ she trailed off, wishing she hadn’t spoken at all. He stared at her closely, and under his scrutiny she felt awkward, blundering. ‘Sorry,’ she murmured. His expression was unreadable. Mia thought she would explode if she didn’t know what he was thinking, but then, without a word, he turned to look back across the city.

  ‘Will you speak to your people?’ he asked, gesturing to the masses below them.

  ‘I have to speak to them...? Tye, am I seriously just supposed to become queen here? It seems ridiculous. I don’t understand how they’ll all just ... let me. I have no idea how to be queen! ’

  He smiled kindly. ‘You will know. They need to hear from you. Say whatever you like. None of us could ever influence you in the way you ran this city. You’ve a mind of your own, certainly, Mia. Use it.’

  ‘Yes. Of course,’ she replied, dazed. ‘I’ll have to go get changed, I guess.’

  ‘All of your belongings are in your rooms.’

  ‘I have belongings?’

  ‘Mia, you must understand, for us, it is as though you have not been gone. Everything is exactly as we left it. You have a life here, ready to be taken up.’

  ‘I don’t understand—where have you been? How do you banish an entire city?’

  Tye frowned. ‘It was as if ... everything went dark. We were frozen, suspended outside time, aware of our entrapment but not able to do anything about it. We blinked, but that blink lasted for over a thousand years. It was magic, certainly, but I know not how it was commanded. The High King and Queen in Amalia threatened us—they wanted control over us, and when we refused, they must have...’ He shook his head, lost in thought.

  Mia watched him for a moment ‘How can I take up a life I know nothing about?’ she asked.

  ‘I will help you,’ he told her again, more softly this time. She didn’t know what was in his voice, but it frightened her. Mia turned to walk back to the entrance hall.

  ‘It is quicker if you come this way, highness,’ he called to her. She turned and saw him standing in the middle of the pathway, hands stretched wide, the sun shining off his body, and sadness etched in his face. She was struck, suddenly, by the despair in him.

  It made her heart clench. She may have had no knowledge of the past, but she could certainly see far enough into the future to know that if she allowed herself to believe all of this, to give in to it—and then she failed—she was going to cause this man, and the whole of Samaraq, an unforgivable amount of grief.

  Chapter 21

  Fern rounded the corner at a breakneck pace, having just returned from the watch-tower and heard the news. Gods, could that woman never stay out of trouble?

  He skidded to a halt upon nearing Jane’s door, for there was a boy standing in front of it. He was of medium height, with dark hair and nothing particularly distinctive about him. That was, until he turned his gaze. Fern’s curiosity flared as the boy’s darkness unfurled before him, like a chasm dropping away into nothingness.

  ‘Greetings,’ the boy said softly. ‘Would I be correct in assuming you are the famous dead prince?’

  Fern’s eyebrows rose. ‘You would be. Forgive me—I know not your name.’

  The boy smiled crookedly. ‘I’d be very surprised if you did, since the last time you were alive I was only seven years old and we did not once meet. Prince Altor, at your service.’

  Fern stared at the boy, the truth dawning on him. He couldn’t help but grin. ‘Death has certainly brought me into a life full of surprises.’

  There was ice in the boy’s eyes. ‘Indeed. I’ve heard many stories about your deeds, highness, and not all of them good,’ Altor s
aid, and Fern stared at him, surprised.

  ‘Well, I’m glad to see I’ve left behind something worth remembering,’ he said lightly.

  Altor did not laugh. ‘I never thought, in this lifetime, to be faced with a miracle. But then, I suppose I have only to look at myself to see the unnatural.’ His frown suddenly deepened. ‘However I may have to reconsider my assumption that rebirth is a miracle in your case, prince, if you’re referring to your treatment of a particular woman as ‘worth remembering’.’

  The sting in the words was far from subtle. Suddenly Fern was angry. Who was this boy to be talking to him in such a way?

  ‘Save your words for those who need them, boy.’ Fern’s tone was flat. There was no change in Altor’s expression. If Fern hadn’t been so travel weary, he might have admired the boy’s courage.

  ‘Step aside,’ Fern said.

  ‘She doesn’t want to see you,’ Altor replied firmly.

  Fern frowned. ‘What gives you the right to decide as much?’

  ‘She told me herself,’ he said simply.

  ‘Look,’ the Elf snapped. ‘I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but I need to get in there and see her.’

  ‘It’s no longer your place to do so, highness.’

  Fern could not believe what he was hearing. The presumption of it! This boy was actually trying to bar him passage into a room in his own palace!

  ‘You’re brave, boy,’ Fern said finally. ‘But you are out of your depth. Even had these walls not belonged to me, even had I no care for the woman in that room, I would still have the right to command you out of the way.’

  ‘And what gives you that right?’ Altor asked softly. There was something in his gaze, something that looked almost like ... admiration? But how could that exist alongside the disdain the boy seemed to have for him?

  ‘I have battled with a god for some years now,’ Fern said quietly. ‘I have powers in me that are not wholly human.’ He let his eyes blaze with fire, feeling the sharp pain as the flames licked at his sockets. Altor drew a breath, but Fern was surprised to still see no trace of fear in the young boy.

  ‘I know who you are,’ Altor said. ‘I know what’s happened to you. I can only imagine what you are capable of. You have my endless loyalty and admiration for what you have done. But here, within these realms, you have no more power than any of us.’ He shrugged and spread his hands wide. ‘She doesn’t want to see you, Fern, and I promised her. It’s that simple.’

  They stared at each other. But what would have happened next neither of them would ever know, because the door opened and Jane’s head popped out into the hallway.

  ‘I can hear you arguing about how good you both are from inside,’ she said. ‘And it’s not worth so much stress. Come in if you have to, Fern. Altor, I appreciate your help, but I think you’re fighting a losing battle.’

  Altor looked between the two of them, then he shrugged and walked away, whistling as he wandered down the hall.

  ‘He’s a piece of work, isn’t he?’ Jane said, grinning, as she sat down next to the window. Fern was about to reply when suddenly he looked at her, silhouetted in the setting sun, the ice sparkling around, and the words died in his mouth. Suddenly, it was hard to breathe.

  ‘What’s so urgent, Fern? Why are you here?’

  ‘Because you are,’ he replied simply, pulling a chair so that he could also sit next to the wide window. ‘I heard you were hurt and needed to check—’

  ‘It’s not your place anymore, Fern,’ she said mildly. ‘I’m fine. You have someone else to worry about now.’

  ‘I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone.’ Suddenly it seemed like the most important thing in the world for him to tell her he loved her. It should have been the first thing on his lips, every time he saw her.

  ‘I’m not alone,’ she exclaimed. ‘I have my friends. I did exist before I met you, Fern.’ There was something hard in her voice. She didn’t look at him.

  He leant forward, wanting to reach out to her, to bring her back to him in some way. He hated the distance between them—it felt unnatural. ‘No matter what I do I’m going to hurt two women I care about,’ he said.

  In an instant her eyes darkened. She tried to cover the jealousy but he saw it clearly before she turned back to the window.

  ‘That’s not what I meant. You know there is no comparison between how I feel for her and how I feel for you.’

  She shrugged. ‘I also know there’s no comparison between having a fling and marrying someone.’

  ‘You think you and I were just a—fling?’

  She glared at him. ‘I’m sorry—have you forgotten what you said to me on the boat? That you didn’t love me, and that you just wanted to have some fun? Or is there no sincerity in a single word you say?’

  He shook his head angrily. ‘We already talked about this! I had to say the only thing I could think of that would make you not want to be with me.’

  ‘I can’t believe you would be so arrogant as to think it was your choice whether or not I loved you! I have a mind of my own, Fern. I don’t need you looking after me all the time!’

  ‘Fine!’ he snarled. ‘I won’t bother anymore!’ He stood up and started to pace the room. Suddenly he stopped and spread his hands wide. ‘You were gone!’ he said desperately. ‘She waited for me for years!’

  ‘So did I!’ Jane yelled. Quickly she stopped, shaking her head.

  He wanted her to rage at him, wanted her to hurt him back. Instead all he got was remoteness.

  Just when he was about to give up, her soft words swept through the air, freezing him in place.

  ‘From the moment you and I met on the cliff, even though I didn’t let myself acknowledge it for a long time, I was secretly imagining something. And deep down, I believed that somehow, some way, it would happen.’ Jane turned to meet his eyes. ‘I saw us together forever. I saw the two of us sharing everything, moving through everything that life could throw at us. Stupid, I know. But you’ve always tried to separate us. You’ve always thought that we’d be better off alone.’

  Her words cut into him, searing hot. Like shame.

  ‘Even through all of that,’ she went on, ‘I still thought that one day we’d make it right. One day you’d realise and we’d be fine, the two of us.’ Jane paused. ‘Don’t you see? You having a wife means we can never be together. I don’t know what that means to you—maybe you’re fine with it. But for me ... well, I’m not just losing a person, Fern. I’m losing a whole life.’

  His hands were shaking. Anything he could say to stop this mess was not allowed. All the words that were desperate to pour from his mouth were forbidden.

  ‘But,’ she said, her tone changing, a false smile at her lips, ‘I’m being stupid. You and I were never even a real couple. You always had a fiancé. I should have respected that, and I guess this is just fate’s way of punishing me.’ She shrugged carelessly. ‘We can be friends. It’s not the end of the world. People break up all the time. Right?’

  He stared at her, not knowing what to say.

  Jane turned back to the window and the darkened sky again.

  Fern’s shoulders slumped as he realised that not everything can end the way it should. Sometimes there was just no way to make things right. Sometimes it can just be ... the end.

  Fern drew himself up once more. ‘If you will allow it, Jane, I would say one more thing.’ Still she didn’t look at him. ‘Without sarcasm, or insincerity, without jest or agenda, I would tell you that I am ... sorry.’

  He thought he saw something cross her face then, but it was gone in an instant, and she was smiling gently again. ‘Thank you,’ she murmured. ‘But it’s unnecessary. I hope you two are really happy together—she’ll be a good queen for you.’

  Fern frowned, stunned by what she seemed to think—that he could be happy with another woman. Didn’t she understand anything? Didn’t she know that he was barely a real person without her, and that loving someone else was a complete imp
ossibility? It wasn’t in him to explain it to her just then. So he left.

  Jane sat next to that window a long time. Long after he left, and long into the night, thinking about Paragor as a land of words, so often beautifully used. They were skilled, these people, in using language to make you feel exactly how you did not want to feel.

  Fern lay in the bed of ice that would have frozen any other. He shivered though, and she knew that this was the human side of him. She placed a blanket over him and he smiled faintly.

  ‘I only feel the cold sometimes,’ he explained softly and she nodded. She knew it only happened sometimes. When he was grieving the most.

  Princess Athena of the Elves was well aware that her husband’s heart did not belong to her. She didn’t have a clue who he had given it to, but it was a pain she could hardly bear. She was of the ancients, though, a race of people so proud that the thought of telling him how she felt did not even cross her mind.

  She was much older than him, and she felt it in that moment.

  ‘Will you age like I do?’ she asked, standing next to the bed.

  ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I could not have done this to you otherwise.’

  ‘Done what?’

  ‘Married you.’

  Athena struggled to keep her face passive. ‘You say it like it would have been a punishment. But I would have chosen human life, if it meant I could be with you.’

  Fern sat up and put a hand on hers. ‘I feel as though something is waiting to happen. I fear ... so much.’

  She thought about this. ‘The Elves were not so much part of the war all those years ago. Perhaps we will be not be a part of whatever you think is coming.’

  ‘Perhaps. It broke my heart to see mortal men dying in the battle, but it is a thing not meant to be that the ageless children are slaughtered. The sight of them being herded to their death...’ he shuddered, and Athena did not want to move, lest she break the spell. He had never spoken to her of the battle, and his death.

  ‘I just ... I needed it to end, so I charged in there and did something utterly foolish.’