“She’s an old friend, Hannah. She stuck by me all those years.”
“She’s not a friend if you end up feeling bad every time you see her. You need to let the memory fade. Take that somewhere safe to heal.”
“You don’t know anything about it.”
“I know Karin tells me the truth when I need it, but she never puts me down, or dredges up my regrets. She still struggles thinking about Oscar’s affair, but I don’t remind her of it.”
“I don’t have a friend like Karin.”
“I’m being your Karin. Let her go.”
“Oh well, Hannah, I’m in Nordstrom’s.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up now. I just think you buy underwear instead of dumping that bitch. Why don’t you dump her and buy me some instead.”
“I’m going to buy you some crack thongs,” she said.
“They’re butt crack thongs. Get leopard print.”
“Leopard print?” she asked.
“Yeah. And basic black.”
She was laughing when she hung up.
Jon didn’t hear me come down the hall; he was too focused on trying to figure out what it would feel like to be missing his ring finger. He picked up his book with his right hand and transferred it to his left hand with the finger bent back like it was gone. He was having trouble holding the book.
“It’s easier when the finger is actually gone,” I said.
He looked embarrassed.
“You’d get the hang of it,” I said. “I have.”
“I’m sorry, H.”
“Let’s not say that anymore. It’s behind us. I don’t want it to define me. Homeland Security finally delivered the ashes today. Your little friend at the vet put human finger on the shipping declaration. They wanted proof it was mine. One of them looked like he’d puke.”
He was smiling when I climbed in his lap.
“I want you to promise we’ll keep it out in the open,” I said. “If it starts to gross you out, we need to talk about it. I don’t want you to spend your life apologizing. If you don’t love me, you don’t love me. It’s not your fault. I’m not sure Eric could adjust.”
“That’s never going to happen,” he said.
“Things could change. What wasn’t much, becomes an exposed nerve. I think Mark’s wife left him after he was injured. Just promise me.”
“Okay,” he said.
“Okay you promise?”
“I promise.”
“I may be leaving for California in a few days,” I said. “I’ll be gone a week. I’m going to run up and see Karin’s new jugs. Marty called again about the picture. I told him I couldn’t do this one. He thinks I’ll run out of offers soon.”
“What do you think, H? You want to take it?”
“It sounds fun, but I think that part of my life is over. I’m sure I’ll miss it for a while, but I’d have to live on the Big Island for a year. That sounds like the dark side of the moon right now. I don’t want to leave you. I knew that in India, even before the babies came along. I knew I wanted to live the days with you. Make our bed every morning. Not always be catching up.”
“I’m going to get us a cottage tomorrow,” he said. “We can do the paddle out.”
∞
Jon came home the next day with two hamster-sized leis to put on the water with my smidgen of ashes. He really cracked me up.
We took our boards up to Salt Pond and paddled out. It turned into an oddly charged ceremony. I joked that I hoped I was releasing my impatient finger. Jon wished it could be his stubborn asshole.
We had dinner delivered to our cottage and slow danced while the sun set.
“I’m never going to another wedding without you,” I said. “I was so lonesome watching everyone dance at Samantha’s wedding.”
“You won’t go without me again.”
“Celeste told Mark she’s lonesome,” I said.
“Did she tell him she’s seeing one of his friends? Chana says he’s some Delta Force guy.”
“I hope it works for her,” I said. “Have the kids figured out where they want to get married?”
“On the beach somewhere,” he said.
“She plans to wear my dress.”
“A turquoise sari? Isn’t it supposed to be white?”
“Oh brother.”
We kept dancing.
“They’re going to walk to the altar together, like we did,” I said. “Will you be okay not giving her away?”
“She’s not mine to give away.”
“Do you think she’s doing it so I won’t be alone with Celeste?”
“She’s doing it to pad the space between Celeste’s family and Glen with his new family.”
“She’s inviting them?”
“Yep. She says everybody can just grow up.”
“What time of day?” I asked.
“Sunrise.”
“That’s good. Everyone will be sober,” I said.
“Unless they drink all night. Celeste’s brothers can pull that off,” he said. “Glen is no match for the Delta Force, but I guess his wife is some kind of Korean hapkido mama.”
“Is the Delta Force guy going to kick your ass too?”
“I’m pretty sure Glen’s first up. I’m counting on his wife.”
“Maybe I should learn hapkido,” I said. “I bet I could do it with nine fingers.”
I put my head back on his shoulder.
“They’re going to Tavarua on their honeymoon,” I said. “We never went on a honeymoon, we should go to Alaska.”
“We’ll go once Chance is walking. He’s a lot to lug around for the moms.”
“Mom shipped Meggie a box of loot to make up for my bad parenting,” I said. “You know what she did for her housekeeper?”
“Get her a make over?”
“Good guess,” I said. “Her housekeeper’s son lost a foot. He and his brother have been taking care of horses in Rancho Santa Fe for years, they cross the border all the time. His foot got hung up in the border fence and he got busted. By the time he’d been shipped back to Mexico, his foot was so bad they just cut it off. Can you imagine getting your foot cut off in Tijuana?”
“Did he get an infection?”
“No,” I said. “But he had to carve his own replacement foot out of wood. He didn’t paint it to match his other foot; he painted it like a crucifix. He said it was a more beautiful foot. He used old parts from a halter to attach it. I think that’s incredible. When Mom heard about it she freaked.”
“Did he paint the iron spike, or just the bleeding hole?”
“Probably the spike, he was working from a cross. His mother was upset that he’d never find a wife with his crucified foot. I didn’t tell Mom about people who like missing parts.”
“A spring made out of horseshoes would have been better,” he said. “He could outrun Border Patrol.”
“I am never going to tell anyone you said that.”
“He sounds like a resourceful guy. I should hire him.”
“We’re not getting horses. Anyway, she took up a collection from all the woman’s clients and bought him a new foot. She said a Jesus foot was in poor taste.”
“Maybe he’ll wear it on his wedding night.”
We danced for a minute.
“I hope so. He thought it was beautiful,” I said. “Sometimes I just don’t know about Mom.”
He kissed my ear.
“Some of her is hard to know,” he said.
I could feel him start to shake against me. He buried his face in my neck to dance. And laugh.
∞
We woke up to breakfast on the porch. He took my hand and slid a simple gold band that matched his, onto my right hand ring finger. He was looking at me the same way he did the day we got married.
“It’s okay if you don’t want it,” he said. “I just thought you could get it sized while you’re over there, depending on which finger you use.”
I took it off and held it out in
the morning sun so I could read the inscription: Spring-Moon. With our wedding date. I put it back on the same finger.
“I love it, Jon. That’s my Apollo finger. It means happiness and contentment. But other men won’t know I’m taken.”
“You will.”
“I won’t take it off again.”
He passed me a plate of Oreos. He really hadn’t known how it was going to go. I popped one whole in my mouth and poured coffee.
“We need to plan Meggie’s party,” I said. “It’s the day after I get home.”
“We’ll do it when you get back. She doesn’t know about dates yet,” he said. “We’ll throw her a party, tell her she’s five, and teach Chance to walk.”
He went to work and I went home to pack for my trip to the mainland.
∞
Everyone saw me off at the airport. Chance was old enough to look a little unsure about this latest leaving, especially with Meggie crying. I told her I’d be right back. I told them I loved them three times, just in case.
∞
I got into San Diego, rented a car, and headed to La Jolla. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d traveled alone. I’d put in eleven hours and my clothes were still clean. I pulled down to the stoplight at La Jolla Shores and Jon called. I pulled over.
“You rushing to make your appointment?” he asked.
“No. Is something wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. You remember how pumped you got when you read Digging For Dinosaurs? The plan to take the kids to the national park?”
“Yeah. I can’t wait. Why?”
“Marty called again about the dino movie, the location has changed to Alaska.”
“What about The Suits buying white man plantations in paradise?”
“Fukushima.”
“Oh brother. Alaska’s getting hit. They need to shoot on Mars.”
“Yeah, but nobody is talking about glowing sushi in Alaska yet.”
“No, they’ve got acid crabs. This poor planet.”
“He wants us to go to Alaska. You make dinosaur world while I feed everyone.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“As serious as drug resistant TB,” he said.
“Oh brother. Who will run the restaurants?”
“Phil and Jugs want in, partners. They’ve been putting a proposal together for months. I knew it was coming. It’ll be good. Better partners than competitors with those two.”
“Can we afford it?” I asked.
“Yep. We’re going to be fine, better than fine. I’m finally going to get my hands free for a while.”
“Starting a crafts service business isn’t getting your hands free,” I said.
“It’s a way we can travel together while we’re still young. It’ll be good for the kids. Mark says a little stress when they’re young makes dogs smarter.”
“Our kids aren’t German shepherds,” I said.
“They’re young animals,” he said.
“Are we talking North Pole?”
“No. We’ll be based in Juneau. I did some research. We can paddle. Eat salmon. The kids can learn to snowboard while they’re still built close to the ground.”
“Imagine Meggie on a snowboard,” I said. “Is there a hospital?”
“Yep. I’ll research helmets.”
“I don’t know anything about dinosaurs in Alaska. I better start research yesterday.”
“They have a dinosaur builder for you to meet. They reworked the script, be a lot of computer generated work.”
“Wow. I’ve always wanted to work on this kind of project. Adam will enjoy the tech end.”
“Marty needs a decision. I talked to Mike. His sales rep is hooking me up with the food people. Mike wants us to stop in Portland on the way up, he says the ferry from Washington is an inside passage trip minus the cruise ship bullshit. Three days on the water.”
“When is all this supposed to happen?” I asked.
“Two months at the outside. Gives us just enough time to pack up and rent the house.”
“You sure about this?”
“I’m sure,” he said. “We’ll need to work in L.A. before we head up. Marty said the production office will find us a place down by Karin and Oscar. You should work up a punch list.”
“I wonder if they want to go,” I said. “Maybe they can write in a Black scientist being chased by dinos.”
“There were no men in the dino age,” he said.
“They won’t make a movie without stars. Unless it changed, it’s a Jurassic Park storyline.”
“It changed. Marty said it morphed into Jurassic Park with dino scientists gone rogue making super big tit chicks. He says you have a jump on the jugs. I told him to stick to tits.”
“Oh god, Jon. I love you. Yeah. I’ve got some jump on jugs. Should I get some new ones while I’m here?”
“I like the ones you have. They move.”
“I’m not going to ask. Maybe I can build some giant geckos.”
“We’re going to have a good time, H. We’ll take the kids to the Tar Pits. Richard can introduce them to dinos.”
“I’m going to hire Richard as my consultant.”
“Do you think you’ll paint up there?” he asked. “I don’t want you to give up that dream.”
“To be honest, I think I’m still getting ready to paint. I don’t get a surge of energy from the idea like I do from making dinosaurs with big tits.”
“I don’t think it’s the dinosaurs with the big tits,” he said.
“Give them time. With that concept, we’ll have dinos in push-ups and thongs.”
“You could paint on your day off.”
“I’d rather explore with you. What an adventure. You’ll have Oreos?”
“Newman-O’s, they’re healthier.”
“It’s all sugar and fat. I like Oreos.”
“Newman-O’s, H. I’m doing the ordering.”
“Minty-O’s?”
“Yep. Mint and regular. You like the peanut butter?”
“Yuck, sounds healthy. Does this offer have anything to do with my comment about being a Giant Claw now?”
“Might. I’m pretty sure Marty mentioned it during the negotiations. He said you keep coming up with the hook.”
“Marty. I’m going to have Oscar’s guys build me a giant claw.”
“You’ll scare the crap out of the kids,” he said.
“It can’t be any worse than being read plane crash stories around the campfire. Do you want to call Marty?”
“Sure,” he said. “You’ll need meetings while you’re over there.”
“Yeah. That’s fine. Jon, this will be my first big solo credit. Production Designer Hannah Spring-Moon.”
He got very quiet.
“What? I have to work for someone?”
“No. It’s your baby.”
“If Karin can’t go, I’ll need to find an assistant. Amy is hanging with Howlers.”
“You’re the Giant Claw. Everyone will want to work with you.”
“Do they have bears in Juneau?”
“Yep. Bears. Freezing water. Avalanches. Bald eagles. There’s a glacier, probably full of Woolly Mammoths. No moose yet.”
My mind got busy running documentary footage of my babies staked out as bear bait on a glacier full of Woolly Mammoths. Time lapse clouds raced by. The kids, swept away by an avalanche, riding the backs of thawed out beasts into freezing water and then snagged by a bald eagle and carried to the netherworld where they are plucked to death by ravens, or toyed with by bears. Do eagles make offerings to bears? Whales? Probably a Jugs Eli humpback. I had one less digit; that was a plus. Only nine fingers to bite off when I got frostbite searching for them. Jon knew crazy silence when he heard it.
“We’ll just do the best we can to keep them safe,” he said.
“You know we’re both going to be super tired. We have to promise to be nice to each other. We need to find great childcare. Chance is just a baby. Maybe Meli can go.”
“I’ll ask her,” he said. “It’ll be okay.”
“I don’t want the kids sacrificed to bears just so I can work. That’s more than a little stress.”
“Okay,” he said. “No peanut butter cookies and no stressful bear sacrifices. Anything else?”
“I’m a professional, Jon. I don’t make silly demands.”
“Okay Hannah Spring, I’ll call Marty. Call me after your appointment.”
“Spring-Moon,” I said. “Hannah Spring-Moon.”
The End
A Note About The Author
Mary Ellen Courtney grew up in Southern California where she ratted around on the beach and daydreamed to avoid high school. Despite her sketchy attendance, she went on to love college. She worked in design and in the film business.
Like most writers, her biggest adventures are all in her head. She lives on a small island with a large dog, a canary, a husband who understands, and a license to fly.
Her debut novel, Wild Nights, was the 2013 Winner of the Indie Excellence Award for Fiction, and the Silver Medal Winner in the 2013 Global eBooks Awards for Fiction.
Her third novel is scheduled for release November 2014.
She may be reached at: [email protected]
and on Facebook
Wild Nights is also available in an eBook format.
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